And here's tonight's editorial comment. Arf arf bow-wow bark And now a rebuttal. Meow meow purrrr meow That's telling him.
1 February 1994
Stay tuned for whatever it is we're showing next. As if you had anything better to do anyway... In light of your dreary, empty existence. Sounds good to me.
2 February 1994
Is your cat fat and lazy? Does he do nothing but eat and sleep? So what?! JON! YOU'RE MISSING A GOOD SHOW!
3 February 1994
The bank's security camera took this picture of the culprit. I thought it was a bakery!
4 February 1994
Stay tuned for "Watching Paint Dry". Rats! They preempted "Watching Grass Grow".
5 February 1994
Z Hey! That's MY spot you're lying in, you stupid dog! Z BOOT! NUDGE NUDGE NUDGE NUDGE BURROW BURROW BURROW NUDGE -
6 February 1994
Nobody pushes you around, do they, Garfield? Nope. Not without a forklift, anyway! SLAP! Ack! I didn't see that one coming.
7 February 1994
"The Art Of Sophisticated Humor". BOING SPLUT! "By Binky the Clown".
8 February 1994
That's enough of that. Uh, I'm not there anymore, Odie.
9 February 1994
YAWN GULP! YAWN I haven't seen this face in two days.
10 February 1994
I was reading that. Nobody cares about your past, Jon.
11 February 1994
See, you roll the socks up like this. Here, you try it. You're not with me on this. Now, let's do the underwear.
12 February 1994
* Mee mee mee mee mee meeeee ** ** ME-YOWR MEE YOWR MEE YOWR * ** MEEEEeeyooWWRRRR! ** GACK!! THUD! Bet you didn't know I could do opera.
13 February 1994
BOUNCE BOUNCE BOING BOING BOING I had no idea you could do this on a hardwood floor! Diet time.
14 February 1994
I'm putting you on a diet, Garfield. If you gain any more weight, earth will swing out of its orbit and plunge into the sun. What do you say to that? Pass me adoughnut and turn up the air-conditioning.
15 February 1994
GET OFF! I CAN'T STAND IT! ARRRRGH! Just practicing. Shaddup.
16 February 1994
I know Jon said no more snacks. But I had a weak moment. Someone tore the door off the refrigerator! A weak yet intense moment.
17 February 1994
Life is a constant battle between right and wrong! Good and evil! Cheesecake and diet!
18 February 1994
NO! NO! HAVE MERCY! Out of the goodness of my heart, I didn't weigh myself today.
19 February 1994
Z tick tick tick tick Z BRINNNG! 'morning, Garfield. 'morning, Jon. 'morning, Pooky. crunch crunch 'morning, Odie. I gotta get off this diet.
20 February 1994
I've been dieting. Riiiiight. No, really. Is this a face that would lie? How should I know? I've never seen it.
21 February 1994
Dieting is hard work. But, after several grueling days, I'm happy to report I have slowed my weight gain to a crawl! A small victory perhaps, but a victory nevertheless. You have doughnuts on your breath.
22 February 1994
Hey, scale. How much do YOU weigh? That's none of your business! He can dish it out, but he sure can't take it.
23 February 1994
I'm glad you agree with my 'no snacks at night' rule, Garfield. Garfield? Are you standing over me with a fork? And about this far from deranged.
24 February 1994
Good news! I'm happy to report that I have successfully gained five pounds! First time I ever hit a weight goal!
25 February 1994
Rats! I just finished a 14-day diet, and all I lost was 2 weeks.
26 February 1994
Hey? What's that ahead? FLEA COLLAR!!! Everybody move to the rear of the cat! My sidney is up there! I'll save him, ma'am. Okay, son, hold on to my antenna. SIDNEY! MOMMY! HOORAY!!! TAIL COLLAR!!! There's a movie here somewhere.
27 February 1994
Odie GARFIELD All is right with the world.
28 February 1994