I'm going to the kitchen. Don't wait up for me.
1 March 1994
I wonder what it's like outside. It's raining. And blowing.
2 March 1994
I just bought coffee yesterday, and no we're out. Do you know what happened to it, Garfield? Not offhand. But, if you like, I could stay awake for the next three nights to give it more thought.
3 March 1994
Hey, look! A big, fat, dumb cat! Get out of here, you stupid, ugly tub of lard. Yeah, beat it! Whatever happened to "chirp, chirp"?
4 March 1994
Kids, don't let this happen to you.
5 March 1994
SLAM! SLAM! SLAM! When I get angry I just feel like slamming doors. SLAM!
6 March 1994
Garfield, am I a geek? Yes. Too bad cats can't talk. Yes! Yes! I'm saying yes here!
7 March 1994
I wish I were looking better. pat pat Now, now. There's no reason for you to do that. I'M the one who should wish you were better looking.
8 March 1994
Garfield, I've been looking at myself in the mirror. And I have to ask you a question. An I macho? He apparently doesn't notice I have a mouthful of food.
9 March 1994
I really need to change my image, Garfield. I fully agree. Change can be a healthy thing. You couldn't be more right. We could both stand to improve our looks a little, right? Speak for yourself, donkey face.
10 March 1994
Women like men who are tall, dark and handsome. Do you think I could be tall, dark and handsome? You sure could. Stand on a chair, turn out the lights, and lie.
11 March 1994
You know, Garfield... I wish I had a secret identity like superheroes do. Your identity IS a secret.
12 March 1994
Z Z YANK! WHIRRRRRR Z STOMP! B-D-D-D-D-D-d
13 March 1994
* DING TIME TO EAT! Cats don't go "ding". I ate the egg timer.
14 March 1994
You're fat. And lazy. See? I'm doing the work of two cats!
15 March 1994
You wait right here, Odie. I'll go get your food. MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH
16 March 1994
Z It's good to see you on the job. What job? And, where did that hole in the wall come from?
17 March 1994
Where's my present? I can't bring you something every time I go out. Then why go out?
18 March 1994
Are you having as much fun as I am? I'm bored. I guess you are.
19 March 1994
ZOOOOM WHIP WHIP Why do cats do that?! It drives me nuts! You just answered your own question, boopsy!
20 March 1994
Ever notice how cats are able to blend into the background?
21 March 1994
Here's a ball of yarn to play with. How do you turn it on?
22 March 1994
You cats are lucky you have fur. It keeps you warm and cozy. It also covers up my coiled snake tattoo.
23 March 1994
Z When cats want someone to wake up, we walk across him. YAAAH! In golf shoes.
24 March 1994
Cats are creatures of nature. We do things based entirely on...uh... Instinct!
25 March 1994
Garfield, it's dangerous up in that tree! Not for the graceful cat! At least not for the graceful cat with a parachute.
26 March 1994
DING DONG ** DING DONG ** Garfield, cats don't ring doorbells when they want in. Fine. scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch Happy now?
27 March 1994
Boy, am I out of shape. There's only one thing to do. If you can't lose it...belt it.
28 March 1994
I've lost my library card! I'll form a search party. Right after I finish picking my teeth.
29 March 1994
Jon hurt his back and can't move. I could get help. Or I could go through his pockets for a change. Get away from me!
30 March 1994
Ladies and gentlemen...Odie! THUD! Open the door, THEN walk in!
31 March 1994