I'm going to the kitchen. - - Don't wait up for me.
1 March 1994
I wonder what it's like outside. It's raining. - - And blowing.
2 March 1994
I just bought coffee yesterday, and no we're out. - Do you know what happened to it, Garfield? - Not offhand. But, if you like, I could stay awake for the next three nights to give it more thought.
3 March 1994
Hey, look! A big, fat, dumb cat! - Get out of here, you stupid, ugly tub of lard. Yeah, beat it! - Whatever happened to "chirp, chirp"?
4 March 1994
- - Kids, don't let this happen to you.
5 March 1994
SLAM! - SLAM! - - SLAM! - When I get angry I just feel like slamming doors. - - SLAM!
6 March 1994
Garfield, am I a geek? - Yes. - Too bad cats can't talk. Yes! Yes! I'm saying yes here!
7 March 1994
I wish I were looking better. - pat pat Now, now. There's no reason for you to do that. - I'M the one who should wish you were better looking.
8 March 1994
Garfield, I've been looking at myself in the mirror. - And I have to ask you a question. - An I macho? He apparently doesn't notice I have a mouthful of food.
9 March 1994
I really need to change my image, Garfield. I fully agree. - Change can be a healthy thing. You couldn't be more right. - We could both stand to improve our looks a little, right? Speak for yourself, donkey face.
10 March 1994
Women like men who are tall, dark and handsome. - Do you think I could be tall, dark and handsome? You sure could. - Stand on a chair, turn out the lights, and lie.
11 March 1994
You know, Garfield... - I wish I had a secret identity like superheroes do. - Your identity IS a secret.
12 March 1994
Z - Z - YANK! WHIRRRRRR - - Z - STOMP! B-D-D-D-D-D-d
13 March 1994
* DING - TIME TO EAT! - Cats don't go "ding". I ate the egg timer.
14 March 1994
You're fat. - And lazy. - See? I'm doing the work of two cats!
15 March 1994
You wait right here, Odie. I'll go get your food. - - MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH
16 March 1994
Z - It's good to see you on the job. What job? - And, where did that hole in the wall come from?
17 March 1994
Where's my present? - I can't bring you something every time I go out. - Then why go out?
18 March 1994
Are you having as much fun as I am? - I'm bored. - I guess you are.
19 March 1994
- - ZOOOOM - WHIP - WHIP - Why do cats do that?! It drives me nuts! - You just answered your own question, boopsy!
20 March 1994
- - Ever notice how cats are able to blend into the background?
21 March 1994
Here's a ball of yarn to play with. - - How do you turn it on?
22 March 1994
You cats are lucky you have fur. - It keeps you warm and cozy. - It also covers up my coiled snake tattoo.
23 March 1994
Z When cats want someone to wake up, we walk across him. - YAAAH! - In golf shoes.
24 March 1994
Cats are creatures of nature. We do things based entirely on...uh... - - Instinct!
25 March 1994
Garfield, it's dangerous up in that tree! - Not for the graceful cat! - At least not for the graceful cat with a parachute.
26 March 1994
DING DONG ** - DING DONG ** - - Garfield, cats don't ring doorbells when they want in. - Fine. - scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch - Happy now?
27 March 1994
Boy, am I out of shape. - There's only one thing to do. - If you can't lose it...belt it.
28 March 1994
I've lost my library card! - I'll form a search party. - Right after I finish picking my teeth.
29 March 1994
Jon hurt his back and can't move. - I could get help. - Or I could go through his pockets for a change. Get away from me!
30 March 1994
Ladies and gentlemen...Odie! - THUD! - Open the door, THEN walk in!
31 March 1994