- poke - I had to provoke it.
1 August 1994
Here I am, trapped in a ball of yarn. - My whole life just flashed before my eyes. - And it looked like a junk food commercial.
2 August 1994
I'm reading about ancient civilizations. - Know how they killed their enemies? - Yeah, they gave them a ball of yarn to play with.
3 August 1994
Now I know why cats are given yarn. - It's nature's way of keeping a balance. - Like a dinosaur falling into a tar pit.
4 August 1994
5 August 1994
- poke - I'll get you for this.
6 August 1994
- There's ordinary old coffee... - SLUP - YOING! - FLAP! FLAP! FLAP! FLAP! - WHIRRRRRRR - And then there's "bottom-of-the-pot-sitting-plugged-in-all-day-coffee!"
7 August 1994
I spend the day doing good deeds. - While YOU didn't move from that spot. - We both made the world a little nicer today. Hey!
8 August 1994
I should exercise. - Fudge? - You're evil, you know that, don't you?
9 August 1994
BOOT! - - Hey, Jon. Did you see that line drive?
10 August 1994
- Garfield left the table in the middle of a meal! - Snack time.
11 August 1994
- - Out of dust rags, are we?
12 August 1994
As soon as I get my jacket, I'll be ready to go to the vet, Garfield. Fine. - - Be sure to say hello to me.
13 August 1994
- - - - - - A-HEM!
14 August 1994
EIIIIYEEEE!!! I'm putting you on a diet, Garfield! - YAAAAAAHHH!! No fair! - UNNNGH (CHOKE) GAH! Who a re you going to believe? Me, or this stupid talking scale?!
15 August 1994
You know, there's "fat"... - And then there's "fat-fat"- So what am I? - "Fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-fat-"
16 August 1994
All right! - I lost a few pounds! And I found them. - I wish that was just an old joke.
17 August 1994
You're as light as a feather! - - A really, really, REALLY big feather.
18 August 1994
Go ahead. Give me the truth. I can take it. - Earth's orbit around the sun is slowly deteriorating. One day we'll fall to a fiery demise! - Not that truth. Your sister has mange?
19 August 1994
Hack! Cough! The weight's too much! I'm a goner! - Lean over, I want to see your face before I go... - Or IS that your face?... This is called justifiable homicide.
20 August 1994
- I wonder if Jon fixed the toaster? click - KA-CHOINNG! - PWING! PWANG! - YAAAHHHH!! - CRASH! PWING! PWANG! YIPE! - CRAAASHH! Yup.
21 August 1994
- - I just might want to take a picture of something other than you, Garfield. Why?
22 August 1994
I think I'll try the direct approach. - Hop in! - Just a thought.
23 August 1994
I'm tired. - I'm Garfield. - You look like you're Jon, tired.
24 August 1994
- I'm creating the illusion of movement. - You need dusting. It's not working.
25 August 1994
- CHOMP GOBBLE GOBBLE SNARF SNARF - I need to get away from you. Burp. How come?
26 August 1994
Saturday night, and the moon is full. - Out of the night, a cry to all that is wild and free... - LET'S POLKA! I think I'll turn in early.
27 August 1994
- - dunk dunk - wring wring - -
28 August 1994
Beware of dog?! Ha! Ha! Ha! - Ooooo. You must be very mean... - Touch, too.
29 August 1994
Beware Of Bird Oh, really? - PTOO CLANK! - Yes...definitely really.
30 August 1994
I don't entirely enjoy your company. - Pardon my bluntness. - BEWARE OF THE WILLING-TO-SHARE-HIS-FEELINGS DOG.
31 August 1994