Count Cannie! How good to see you again! Come, we must dine together. I'll split a neck with you.
1 November 1995
Count Cat's ghastly reign of terror continues! -
2 November 1995
It's midnight. Dark and stormy. And I'll bet there's a full moon. Where do you keep the livestock?
3 November 1995
Do not resist me! There's no such thing as a vampire cat! It's just as well. Cakes don't have necks anyway.
4 November 1995
Hmmmm... It's that time of night. Time to sneak out to the fridge for a midnight snack. SNEAK SNEAK SNEAK SNEAK SNEAK CLICK AAARRRRGGHHHH!!
5 November 1995
Hee hee hee What are you plotting, Garfield? I'm not plotting anything. I already did it.
6 November 1995
Why don't you two cheer up? Much better.
7 November 1995
"Look, Suzy, here comes Mister Mailman." That reminds me, I have to check the traps. " MISTEr MAILMAN IS OUR FRIEND, SAID SUZY!" Keep reading.
8 November 1995
I'm practicing looking innocent. Garfield, would you happen to know who emptied the refrigerator? With a face like this?
9 November 1995
I remember the glory days of my youth. Saturday nights cruising the main drag... 'course I had to have the tractor back by ten. Sigh.
10 November 1995
I have a new, positive outlook on life! Which is no doubt doomed to failure.
11 November 1995
12 November 1995
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! clap clap clap clap BOO! Hey! Why are you booing? I haven't even started yet! I caught the matinee.
13 November 1995
Please, just for once, no booing tonight, okay? Okay. Thenk you. HISS HISS HISS HISSSS HISS HISSS
14 November 1995
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Hey, I'm trying to do a show here! Would you two mind paying attention?! Sure. Sorry. BOO! BOO!
15 November 1995
Your act stinks! There's that heckler again. Look, buddy, just once, can't you find something nice to say? That's a really well-built fence!
16 November 1995
Thank you for your applause! I SAID, THANK YOU FOR YOUR APPLAUSE! clap clap Thank you! Thank you! Whoa! Too much! You're too kind, really! Thank you!
17 November 1995
There will now be a fifteen-minute intermission. For me to towel off. And for you to reload.
18 November 1995
DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP -twist twist twiiiiist DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP Z DRIP DRIP DRIP Z DRIP DRIP DRIP DRIP Z
19 November 1995
Can life get any better than this? If so, keep it for yourself.
20 November 1995
SIP Whoa! Give ME some of that!
21 November 1995
I'm having an identity crisis. Moo. Just kidding! Are you sure? We're out of milk.
22 November 1995
Get the cat...blah, blah, blah. Help, help...and so on. I think the magic has gone out of our relationship.
23 November 1995
He look! A flea collar! Ha ha ha haaa!Hey, cat! We spit on your flea collar! Yeah! Ptooey! Ptooey! Ptooey! We dance on your flea collar! Yee ha! Yeees, it's time to replace the ol' flea collar.
24 November 1995
It's a small world. Compared to Garfield. Shaddup.
25 November 1995
YIPE! SMACK Big spiders require sunday editions. YAAHHH!
26 November 1995
Wow Nature is a wondrous thing, isn't it, Garfield? Uh-huh. WHACK!
27 November 1995
28 November 1995
You'll be happy to knowI've decided to be kinder to my animal friends. Really? Really. Hey, fatty-fatty-fatso! Fat-fat-fat! Tubby, tubby tub-o-lard, fat fat, fat! He's gonna squash good.
29 November 1995
Who are you? I'm the ghost of the spider you squashed yesterday! SMACK! -
30 November 1995