Oh, c'mon,,, that's not scary. Now, THAT'S scary.
1 November 1996
YAAAAHH! Boy, that's the scariest mask yet! An empty supper dish.
2 November 1996
You're lazy, Garfield. You're as limp as a rag! FLOP FLOP Although, not without entertainment value. Oh sure, humiliate the cat.
3 November 1996
Ah, monday...where is my sting?! WHAM Ah...THERE it is...
4 November 1996
I find your presence unpleasant. You possess many shortcomings also. No one is perfect. Let's go back to bark and hiss.
5 November 1996
You're a lazy pig! How did he know it was me?
6 November 1996
I hate it when he acts goofy. That was ferocious!
7 November 1996
Ann won't go out with me. But there areplenty of fish in the sea, Garfield. How do I say this, Jon... I'll just cast out another line. There's a hole in the boat, and the bait's dead.
8 November 1996
What did I tell you the last time you threw a rock in the house?! Lessee...don't help me...I can get this... Oh, yeah! It was "YEEEEOW! Boy that hurts!"
9 November 1996
Would you like to hear about my day, Garfield? Rub my tummy and I'll listen to anything. Well, first, I went for a walk in the park, I fed the pigeons and smelled the flowers... Then on the way home I was nearly run over by a cab. Iyelled at the driver,
10 November 1996
I'm not going to climb you, tree. I don't care what you do. Now THAT'S unfair.
11 November 1996
Hey, you! Scram! This is MY tree.
12 November 1996
Being stuck in a tree isn't so bad. I'll just sit here and enjoy the view. ...for the rest of my life.
13 November 1996
I've been up here a long time. I wonder if I'm setting any records? Hey Ethel! Looky up there! That's gotta be THE stupidest cat in the whole world! A record!
14 November 1996
I'm drawing a crowd. Those people down there look like ants. Garfield, what are you doing? I guess they are.
15 November 1996
Stupid tree...may all your stupid branches fall off! CRACK Nice curse, Garfield.
16 November 1996
This meeting of the Brotherhood of Household Pests will now come to order. Now, this week's assignments: Jreome, you'll pester the big, dumb human... No proooblem. And Charlie, being a flea, you naturally get the dog. Can do, boss. -I'll take the cat...h
17 November 1996
Monday, I'm not afraid of you! In fact, I laugh into your face! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! zzzzzzz
18 November 1996
Does that look crooked, Garfield? No. Now it does. Thanks for your help! I do what I can.
19 November 1996
Oops. ssssssss Bottom of the pot again!
20 November 1996
So, Ellen, I hear you have a party. Gee, my invitation must have been lost in the mail. She said no. And to make sure, she shot the mailman. I'll ge the checkers.
21 November 1996
Garfield, this must be an invitation to Ellen's party! Oh, yes, it's PARTY TIME ** ** ...it's PARTY TIME... It's a restraining order. Aw...and you just bought a new whoopee cushion.
22 November 1996
Sigh . I'm not actually bored. I'm just practicing.
23 November 1996
Jon's hamburger! I'll just eat Jon's pickle. ...and maybe the lettuce and the tomato, too. ...and the onion, and Oh, what the heck! Uh, there seems to be something missing. You're right! gluck gluck gluck gluck gluck
24 November 1996
Greetings, Ladies and... CRASH! CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP Give 'em what they want, I say.
25 November 1996
He's not the world's greatest opening act... But he's the best I could get on short notice. ...but I gotta tell ya'... This lady was SOOOOO fat...
26 November 1996
TAPPITY TAPPITY TAPPITY DONK I'll be glad when tomatoes are back in season.
27 November 1996
I'd like to ask for a volunteer from the audience! I'd like to ask for an audience.
28 November 1996
tappity tappity tappity BOO! BOOO! BOO! BOOO! Come on, you ingrates! Do your worst! BOOOO! BOOO! BOO! BOO! Uh... There was a cotton candy vendor at the show tonight.
29 November 1996
tappity tappity tappity Rehearsal.
30 November 1996