- Oh, c'mon,,, that's not scary. - Now, THAT'S scary.
1 November 1996
YAAAAHH! - Boy, that's the scariest mask yet! - An empty supper dish.
2 November 1996
- You're lazy, Garfield. - You're as limp as a rag! - FLOP - - FLOP - Although, not without entertainment value. Oh sure, humiliate the cat.
3 November 1996
Ah, monday...where is my sting?! - WHAM - Ah...THERE it is...
4 November 1996
I find your presence unpleasant. - You possess many shortcomings also. - No one is perfect. Let's go back to bark and hiss.
5 November 1996
- You're a lazy pig! - How did he know it was me?
6 November 1996
- - I hate it when he acts goofy. That was ferocious!
7 November 1996
Ann won't go out with me. - But there areplenty of fish in the sea, Garfield. How do I say this, Jon... - I'll just cast out another line. There's a hole in the boat, and the bait's dead.
8 November 1996
What did I tell you the last time you threw a rock in the house?! - Lessee...don't help me...I can get this... - Oh, yeah! It was "YEEEEOW! Boy that hurts!"
9 November 1996
- Would you like to hear about my day, Garfield? Rub my tummy and I'll listen to anything. - Well, first, I went for a walk in the park, I fed the pigeons and smelled the flowers... - Then on the way home I was nearly run over by a cab. - I
10 November 1996
I'm not going to climb you, tree. - I don't care what you do. - Now THAT'S unfair.
11 November 1996
- Hey, you! Scram! - This is MY tree.
12 November 1996
Being stuck in a tree isn't so bad. - I'll just sit here and enjoy the view. - ...for the rest of my life.
13 November 1996
I've been up here a long time. I wonder if I'm setting any records? Hey Ethel! Looky up there! - That's gotta be THE stupidest cat in the whole world! - A record!
14 November 1996
I'm drawing a crowd. - Those people down there look like ants. - Garfield, what are you doing? I guess they are.
15 November 1996
Stupid tree...may all your stupid branches fall off! - CRACK - Nice curse, Garfield.
16 November 1996
- This meeting of the Brotherhood of Household Pests will now come to order. - Now, this week's assignments: Jreome, you'll pester the big, dumb human... No proooblem. - And Charlie, being a flea, you naturally get the dog. Can do, boss. -
17 November 1996
Monday, I'm not afraid of you! - In fact, I laugh into your face! - HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! zzzzzzz
18 November 1996
Does that look crooked, Garfield? No. - Now it does. - Thanks for your help! I do what I can.
19 November 1996
Oops. - ssssssss - Bottom of the pot again!
20 November 1996
So, Ellen, I hear you have a party. - Gee, my invitation must have been lost in the mail. - She said no. And to make sure, she shot the mailman. I'll ge the checkers.
21 November 1996
Garfield, this must be an invitation to Ellen's party! - Oh, yes, it's PARTY TIME ** ** ...it's PARTY TIME... - It's a restraining order. Aw...and you just bought a new whoopee cushion.
22 November 1996
Sigh . - I'm not actually bored. - I'm just practicing.
23 November 1996
Jon's hamburger! - I'll just eat Jon's pickle. - ...and maybe the lettuce and the tomato, too. - ...and the onion, and - Oh, what the heck! - Uh, there seems to be something missing. You're right! - gluck gluck gluck gluck gluck
24 November 1996
Greetings, Ladies and... - CRASH! - CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP Give 'em what they want, I say.
25 November 1996
He's not the world's greatest opening act... - But he's the best I could get on short notice. ...but I gotta tell ya'... - This lady was SOOOOO fat...
26 November 1996
TAPPITY TAPPITY TAPPITY - DONK - I'll be glad when tomatoes are back in season.
27 November 1996
I'd like to ask for a volunteer from the audience! - - I'd like to ask for an audience.
28 November 1996
tappity tappity tappity BOO! BOOO! BOO! BOOO! - Come on, you ingrates! Do your worst! BOOOO! BOOO! BOO! BOO! - Uh... There was a cotton candy vendor at the show tonight.
29 November 1996
tappity tappity tappity - - Rehearsal.
30 November 1996