Garfield, meet Darla. Hi, I'm Darla. Finally, my intellectual equal. Hi, I'm Darla. Don't flatter yourself, Jon.
1 March 1996
People ask me why I play the accordion. Know what I say? Because I was born to boogie! He was abandoned as an infant and raised by nerds.
2 March 1996
click Jon! This is Harold, your rare and expensive talking parrot! The cat is stalking me! I'm making this tape to...NOOOOoooo! AIEEEE! GARFIELD! Burp!
3 March 1996
Garfield, I just saw a mouse! It's in the kitchen! It's pushing a tiny shopping cart! Is this going to involve getting up?
4 March 1996
How come I just saw a mouse running across this table?! Normally you wouldn't. But Fat Eddie's pretty slow.
5 March 1996
There are mice running all over this house, and there you lie! ...and you call yourself a cat! Moo.
6 March 1996
This mouse will die! Which stands to reason. I mean, he's not getting any younger.
7 March 1996
Hey, mouse. The mouse doesn't live here anymore. Then who are you? I'm a saber-toothed screaming lemur. Okay, good news-bad news time...
8 March 1996
Your owner doesn't seem to like us. Well, he's got this thing about mice... You mean the part where he stands on a chair and screams? That too.
9 March 1996
SMACK! Garfield! Give me that comic book! YAAAAHH!
10 March 1996
Here's my sixth-grade report card! My parents were so proud. "Jon hav not shoved any crayons up his nose this term".
11 March 1996
Garfield, my hairline is receding. But it really isn't noticeable. HEY FOREHEAD BOY! Just a lucky guess.
12 March 1996
The National Cat Channel presents... Ed The Wonder Cat, in the action adventure... "Hairballs From Outer Space!" Not every cat can wear tights.
13 March 1996
This book contains many great insights into life. And when you connect the dots, it forms a picture of a bunny!
14 March 1996
That was a terrible date. We went to the circus. A clown accuesd me of copying his suit. How low can a clown stoop?
15 March 1996
A letter from home! Your family never foregets. "Dear Ron..." Ouch.
16 March 1996
Odie, can we talk? You always have that one stupid smile on your face. Give me something new. Nope. Nope. Nope. And, hope. Who am I to mess with imperfection?
17 March 1996
"Sleek and streamlined..." "The cat's lighning reflexes make him a formidable hunter". It's the off-season, okay?
18 March 1996
It's cute the way a cat will playfully bat a ball of yarn around. BAM BAM BAM BAM Maybe "cute" isn't the right word.
19 March 1996
"When agitated, a cat will arch its back and hiss". Yeah, right. Iusually send a stern fax.
20 March 1996
STROKE STROKE STROKE STROKE STROKE PURRRRR How to start a cat.
21 March 1996
Here, Garfield, for you. A catnip mouse! Hold my calls.
22 March 1996
My! Aren't you a cute little kitty! Meow Yes, you are! Meow. Got his gum.
23 March 1996
Ready. CLICK whirrrrrRRR WHIRRRRRRRR CLICK! WHIRRRrrr Someday we'll get a real motorcycle.
24 March 1996
A cup of coffee... A jelly doughnut... And thou!
25 March 1996
BEAN ME! WHAM! Something tells me this isn't your first cup today.
26 March 1996
Another cup, please. Don't you think you've had enough? Not yet.
27 March 1996
Here, Garfield, try this coffee. It's espresso. Why the dinky cup? SLURK! Well, what do you think? I'll let you know as soon as my back teeth stop wiggling.
28 March 1996
The adventures of Ed the Wonder Cat! Ed! Ed! I'm sinking in quicksand! Get help! No, Ed! Don't go to sleep! My hero.
29 March 1996
30 March 1996
Hey! Put that down or I'll... You'll what, buster?! One move, and the doughnut gets it! Qnd it you think I'm kidding, try me! I'm gonna back out slowly, now. And if you try to follow me, it's curtains for your friend here! SLAM! -Toooooo much sugar. mun
31 March 1996