Garfield, meet Darla. Hi, I'm Darla. - Finally, my intellectual equal. - Hi, I'm Darla. Don't flatter yourself, Jon.
1 March 1996
People ask me why I play the accordion. - Know what I say? - Because I was born to boogie! He was abandoned as an infant and raised by nerds.
2 March 1996
- click - Jon! This is Harold, your rare and expensive talking parrot! - The cat is stalking me! - I'm making this tape to...NOOOOoooo! - AIEEEE! - GARFIELD! Burp!
3 March 1996
Garfield, I just saw a mouse! - It's in the kitchen! - It's pushing a tiny shopping cart! Is this going to involve getting up?
4 March 1996
- How come I just saw a mouse running across this table?! Normally you wouldn't. - But Fat Eddie's pretty slow.
5 March 1996
There are mice running all over this house, and there you lie! - ...and you call yourself a cat! - Moo.
6 March 1996
This mouse will die! - Which stands to reason. - I mean, he's not getting any younger.
7 March 1996
Hey, mouse. The mouse doesn't live here anymore. - Then who are you? I'm a saber-toothed screaming lemur. - Okay, good news-bad news time...
8 March 1996
Your owner doesn't seem to like us. - Well, he's got this thing about mice... - You mean the part where he stands on a chair and screams? That too.
9 March 1996
- - SMACK! - Garfield! - Give me that comic book! - - YAAAAHH!
10 March 1996
Here's my sixth-grade report card! - My parents were so proud. - "Jon hav not shoved any crayons up his nose this term".
11 March 1996
Garfield, my hairline is receding. - But it really isn't noticeable. - HEY FOREHEAD BOY! Just a lucky guess.
12 March 1996
The National Cat Channel presents... - Ed The Wonder Cat, in the action adventure... - "Hairballs From Outer Space!" Not every cat can wear tights.
13 March 1996
This book contains many great insights into life. - - And when you connect the dots, it forms a picture of a bunny!
14 March 1996
That was a terrible date. - We went to the circus. - A clown accuesd me of copying his suit. How low can a clown stoop?
15 March 1996
A letter from home! - Your family never foregets. - "Dear Ron..." Ouch.
16 March 1996
- Odie, can we talk? - You always have that one stupid smile on your face. - Give me something new. - Nope. - Nope. - Nope. - And, hope. - Who am I to mess with imperfection?
17 March 1996
"Sleek and streamlined..." - "The cat's lighning reflexes make him a formidable hunter". - It's the off-season, okay?
18 March 1996
It's cute the way a cat will playfully bat a ball of yarn around. - - BAM BAM BAM BAM Maybe "cute" isn't the right word.
19 March 1996
"When agitated, a cat will arch its back and hiss". - - Yeah, right. Iusually send a stern fax.
20 March 1996
- STROKE STROKE STROKE STROKE STROKE - PURRRRR How to start a cat.
21 March 1996
Here, Garfield, for you. - A catnip mouse! - Hold my calls.
22 March 1996
My! Aren't you a cute little kitty! Meow - Yes, you are! Meow. - Got his gum.
23 March 1996
- Ready. - CLICK whirrrrrRRR - WHIRRRRRRRR - CLICK! WHIRRRrrr - - Someday we'll get a real motorcycle.
24 March 1996
A cup of coffee... - A jelly doughnut... - And thou!
25 March 1996
- BEAN ME! WHAM! - Something tells me this isn't your first cup today.
26 March 1996
Another cup, please. Don't you think you've had enough? - - Not yet.
27 March 1996
Here, Garfield, try this coffee. It's espresso. Why the dinky cup? - SLURK! - Well, what do you think? I'll let you know as soon as my back teeth stop wiggling.
28 March 1996
The adventures of Ed the Wonder Cat! - Ed! Ed! I'm sinking in quicksand! Get help! - No, Ed! Don't go to sleep! My hero.
29 March 1996
- - Dogs.
30 March 1996
- - Hey! Put that down or I'll... - You'll what, buster?! One move, and the doughnut gets it! Qnd it you think I'm kidding, try me! - I'm gonna back out slowly, now. And if you try to follow me, it's curtains for your friend here! - SLAM! -
31 March 1996