You dropped something, Garfield. - Oh, you mean the secret plans for world domination by cats? - Uh...I mean. Meow.
1 May 1996
My credit cards are missing. - Garfield, have you seen my credit cards? No. - And, nice suit. It's Italian.
2 May 1996
Nancy, I'm having a party... - Of course, I'll be there. - CLICK Hello?
3 May 1996
I had a pet named Henry back on the farm. - Then one evening, there was Henry on the dinner table. - I loved that snake. Times were tough.
4 May 1996
- ? - - - -
5 May 1996
MOUSE! - - CHAIR!
6 May 1996
Garfield, can I talk to you about the mice? - Mice? - Ohhhhh...THOSE mice?
7 May 1996
Get the mouse! - How's your schedule for the 25th? Say, late morning? I'm out of town. How about the 27th, around 2ish? - Works for me. I'll have my people confirm with yours. Sigh
8 May 1996
9 May 1996
- Atta-boy, Garfield! Way to go! - Same time next week? Sure, but do something about that breath, will ya?
10 May 1996
GARFIELD! - You're a cat...why don't you chase mice?! It's too noisy. - All that creaking, and gasping, and wheezing, and painting, and...
11 May 1996
- - URK! - COUGH COUGH COUGH HACK - HAAACK - All right! A Coupon! - Well excuse me for being thrifty!
12 May 1996
Here comes Jon. - Watch me pretend to be interested in what what he says. - You're pretending to be interested in what I'm saying, aren't you? Fine, thanks! And you?
13 May 1996
THUD! - - "Bouncy" would not be a good nickname for Odie.
14 May 1996
And now to discuss man-eating plants, our gardening expert, Steve! - HELP! It's got me! rustle rustle rustle - burp That should help the ratings.
15 May 1996
Everyone should have a cat like you, Garfield. CHOMP SNARF - GOOBLE GULP CHOMP SNARF SNARF - Why should I be the only one to suffer? Hey!
16 May 1996
I have a blind date tonight, Garfield. - Know what that means? - HUMAN COMPANIONSHIP! You haven't seen your date yet.
17 May 1996
One last cookie... - We've been friends a long time now, right? Wait! Before you try to lay heavy guilt on me. - Okay, go ahead.
18 May 1996
- Jon's building a ship model. I shall narrate. - BLOOP First, he spills the glue. - Then, he makes a hopeless mess. - YAAAAAAH! Then he freaks out. - CRASH! -
19 May 1996
You are fat... - And ol. - And touchy.
20 May 1996
*beep* One...two...three... - What is this? Special feature. - The automatic chin counter.
21 May 1996
You have lost five pounds. - Hey! - Pay up, pal!
22 May 1996
One last chance, scale. - I'm going to weigh myself, and I want to be accorded some respect, okay? Sure, hop on. - You are fat, siiiirrrr.
23 May 1996
Tell me I'm not fat! - O.K., you're not fat. - Thank you. Sigh...I'm a disgrace to household appliances everywhere.
24 May 1996
The pizza was delivered by a woman. - A pizza woman? - MARRY HER!
25 May 1996
munch munch - - - - Pretty lame attempt, Garfield. - If you want to put one over Ol' Jon, you'll have to do better than. - ZIP
26 May 1996
There goes old man Higgins - They say he's the meanest man on the block. - I think he's misunderstood. The man has a clown strapped to the hood of his car.
27 May 1996
We're going to change the way we do things around here! - Whoa... - We do things around here?
28 May 1996
BURP! - Garfield, yould you mind eating a little more delicately? burp burp burp burp burp burp burp
29 May 1996
A letter from dad! Whoopee-do. - The crops are fine. The cows are fine. Yeah, yeah. - Mom got a nose ring, and plays drums for a band called "Electric Dentures". Same old, same old.
30 May 1996
Jon, I ate too much. - I need something to settle my stomach. - How about some dessert, Garfield? The man's a miracle worker!
31 May 1996