You dropped something, Garfield. Oh, you mean the secret plans for world domination by cats? Uh...I mean. Meow.
1 May 1996
My credit cards are missing. Garfield, have you seen my credit cards? No. And, nice suit. It's Italian.
2 May 1996
Nancy, I'm having a party... Of course, I'll be there. CLICK Hello?
3 May 1996
I had a pet named Henry back on the farm. Then one evening, there was Henry on the dinner table. I loved that snake. Times were tough.
4 May 1996
5 May 1996
6 May 1996
Garfield, can I talk to you about the mice? Mice? Ohhhhh...THOSE mice?
7 May 1996
Get the mouse! How's your schedule for the 25th? Say, late morning? I'm out of town. How about the 27th, around 2ish? Works for me. I'll have my people confirm with yours. Sigh
8 May 1996
9 May 1996
Atta-boy, Garfield! Way to go! Same time next week? Sure, but do something about that breath, will ya?
10 May 1996
GARFIELD! You're a cat...why don't you chase mice?! It's too noisy. All that creaking, and gasping, and wheezing, and painting, and...
11 May 1996
URK! COUGH COUGH COUGH HACK HAAACK All right! A Coupon! Well excuse me for being thrifty!
12 May 1996
Here comes Jon. Watch me pretend to be interested in what what he says. You're pretending to be interested in what I'm saying, aren't you? Fine, thanks! And you?
13 May 1996
THUD! "Bouncy" would not be a good nickname for Odie.
14 May 1996
And now to discuss man-eating plants, our gardening expert, Steve! HELP! It's got me! rustle rustle rustle burp That should help the ratings.
15 May 1996
Everyone should have a cat like you, Garfield. CHOMP SNARF GOOBLE GULP CHOMP SNARF SNARF Why should I be the only one to suffer? Hey!
16 May 1996
I have a blind date tonight, Garfield. Know what that means? HUMAN COMPANIONSHIP! You haven't seen your date yet.
17 May 1996
One last cookie... We've been friends a long time now, right? Wait! Before you try to lay heavy guilt on me. Okay, go ahead.
18 May 1996
Jon's building a ship model. I shall narrate. BLOOP First, he spills the glue. Then, he makes a hopeless mess. YAAAAAAH! Then he freaks out. CRASH! -
19 May 1996
You are fat... And ol. And touchy.
20 May 1996
*beep* One...two...three... What is this? Special feature. The automatic chin counter.
21 May 1996
You have lost five pounds. Hey! Pay up, pal!
22 May 1996
One last chance, scale. I'm going to weigh myself, and I want to be accorded some respect, okay? Sure, hop on. You are fat, siiiirrrr.
23 May 1996
Tell me I'm not fat! O.K., you're not fat. Thank you. Sigh...I'm a disgrace to household appliances everywhere.
24 May 1996
The pizza was delivered by a woman. A pizza woman? MARRY HER!
25 May 1996
munch munch Pretty lame attempt, Garfield. If you want to put one over Ol' Jon, you'll have to do better than. ZIP
26 May 1996
There goes old man Higgins They say he's the meanest man on the block. I think he's misunderstood. The man has a clown strapped to the hood of his car.
27 May 1996
We're going to change the way we do things around here! Whoa... We do things around here?
28 May 1996
BURP! Garfield, yould you mind eating a little more delicately? burp burp burp burp burp burp burp
29 May 1996
A letter from dad! Whoopee-do. The crops are fine. The cows are fine. Yeah, yeah. Mom got a nose ring, and plays drums for a band called "Electric Dentures". Same old, same old.
30 May 1996
Jon, I ate too much. I need something to settle my stomach. How about some dessert, Garfield? The man's a miracle worker!
31 May 1996