BRRIINNG! OK, I give up...you win. It's monday. Fine! Shoot your prisoner!
1 July 1996
2 July 1996
Where have you been all my life? I don't know, but I wish I were still there. Take me with you!
3 July 1996
This house is my castle, Garfield. My domain. Here, I am king. Excuse me, sire, whilst your local wretch ralphs on the royal rug.
4 July 1996
Hey there, bullet! Whooosh! There he goes! Slow down, lightning! The cat is not amused.
5 July 1996
I'm too tired to go on. Of course, I have no place to go anyway. That worked out pretty well.
6 July 1996
Man, I haven't had lasagna in, like, forever. RRRrrrrr What would you like for dinner? LASAGNA! Some steamed rice? NO! LASAGNA! Maybe peas and carrots? l-a-s-a-g-n-a...lasagna! Or, I could whip up a nice... Here! Noodles! Onions!Ricotta! Mozzarella! Tomat
7 July 1996
Cats are very possessive. We always mark our own territory. MINE
8 July 1996
Cats are fascinated by bits of string. And, I don't know why. If this string were a little longer, I could tie Jon up, and clean out the refrigerator.
9 July 1996
You're shedding. And you're watching me shed. Who has the problem here?
10 July 1996
Nice kitty, blah, blah, blah. Purr. Whatever. We're bonding.
11 July 1996
You are shedding a lot. Am not.
12 July 1996
PLOOP! As you can see, dogs aren't the only ones who can fetch slippers. I hate you.
13 July 1996
ALL YOUR MOTHERS WEAR FLEA COLLARS! I needed that.
14 July 1996
Garfield, I can't find my bag of... ZING ZONG ZANG Chocolate-covered coffee beans.
15 July 1996
Everybody's against me! SMACK SPLOT And I don't know why!
16 July 1996
Here comes the tickle bug! Tickle, tickle, tickle! Now, here comes the hug bunny! Pet abuse is an ugly thing.
17 July 1996
What is it, Odie? What are you trying to tell me? YIP! YIP! YIP! Uh-huh?...Yes?...Yes?...I see... YIP! YIP! YIP! Odie says he's a slobbering idiot who jumps around going "Yip! Yip! Yip!"
18 July 1996
I wonder if Jon knows he has something stuck between his teeth. YAAAHH! Maybe so...
19 July 1996
I'm going out to enjoy nature! Got attacked by bees and bitten by a badger. Personally, I would not have enjoyed that.
20 July 1996
Hmm... No...no, that's not the spot. No, not there either... No...nope... Nope...nooooooo...n There it is! Z
21 July 1996
Mice are disgusting. Hello, you big, fat, ugly slob. See?!
22 July 1996
23 July 1996
My good sheet! No more toga parties.
24 July 1996
click click click click click Hey! click click click click He gets more channels than we do! click click click
25 July 1996
I caught a mouse! Let me guess... He wasn't paying attention and wandered into your hand. Soooo?!
26 July 1996
Mouse hole. Rat hole. Manhole.
27 July 1996
Hey there. Buzz off! Oh, my! What a pretty bird! I like a man who loves birds. What are you and your bird doing tonight? Wanna pet my parrot? Does it talk? The stories I could tell, lady.
28 July 1996
You ate my food, you ate Odie's food. You ate your food. What do you have to say for yourself? What's for the dessert, dessert, dessert?
29 July 1996
Beware Of The Dog BARK! BARK! BARK! Beware Of The Even Bigger Dog Not my day.
30 July 1996
* RING RING Hello. May I speak with the head of the household? No. Cat's can't talk. Hello? Hello?
31 July 1996