I couldn't decide which one of these ties to wear. So I'm wearing all of them! Hey, hula hands! Put on some pants!
1 August 1996
This is boring. I know! This is boring with hats. A rare moment of lucidity.
2 August 1996
Anything worth having is worth working for! SMACK! So THAT'S why I don't have anything!
3 August 1996
rrrrrrrr Okay, boy, there's only one way to settle this... We take 10 paces, turn, and face for the food. Aand...one...two...three...four...five...six...seven... BLAT Eight...nine...
4 August 1996
I'm taking a dating quiz, Garfield. "What do you look for in a date?" Must be same species. Except on new year's.
5 August 1996
I could get a date if I wanted. On this planet? I've had lots of dates! Mr. Arbuckle, time for your mediaction. Yep, I've broken a few hearts. That's because he showed up.
6 August 1996
Marissa! Jon here! How about going out with the King of Keen tonight? Jon, Jon Arbuckle. Yes, the dork you met in the park. King of Keen, Meet the Queen of Mean.
7 August 1996
These cellular phones are great, Garfield! Elle, guess where I am?... Uh...how far is far enough? Now he can be rejected from anywhere.
8 August 1996
I'm immature?!! WELL EXCUSE ME, MISS POOPIE HEAD! Your honor, the defense requests a recess.
9 August 1996
Another saturday night with no dat. Maybe I'll watch television. For about a year! He's working off a backlog of rejections.
10 August 1996
bark bark bark BARK BARK BARK * ooooooo oooooo b-bl b-bl b-bl b-bl
11 August 1996
That's the last time I hand out programs.
12 August 1996
I'll now take requests from the audience. Any requests? ...any audience?
13 August 1996
SPLAT! MAKEUP! DOOF
14 August 1996
You're out of fruit! what are you going to do?! GONK!
15 August 1996
HISS HISS HISS HISS Did you forget how to clap?! With what?!
16 August 1996
...so the chicken says, "that was no herring, that was my trout!" What are you dialing? My agent's beeper.
17 August 1996
Don't eat that poor, defenseless doughnut! Don't listen to him! Chow down, pal! Do what is right! Do what's in your heart! -
18 August 1996
Z You can't sleep your life away! z Not if you keep waking me up!
19 August 1996
Odie! Someone has eaten your... Ooops. Hang on! Odie! Someone has eaten your food!
20 August 1996
Oh, joy. I get to spend another day with you. I'll try to control my excitement. So far, so good.
21 August 1996
That's it, Garfield. You've had enough. Just one more cup? No more coffee.
22 August 1996
That's three cookies for you. And a third of a cookie for me. Looks more like half a cookie to me.
23 August 1996
There's a cat in the neighborhood! Quick! Hide behind these two slices of bread! I gotta find a new line, or dumber birds.
24 August 1996
Odie! Little Timmy fell down the old well! Save him! SHOOM! The Old Well Odie! Now he's climbing up the water tower!
25 August 1996
Garfield, I was just outside! An insect flew up my nose! I'll be going insane any second now! How will you be able to tell?
26 August 1996
Okay, in this scene you play the part of a pitiful goofball! Action! My finger's stuck up my nose. Cut! Print! That's a wrap! You're beautiful!
27 August 1996
Garfield, some guy threw a rock through my window. There's a note attached! "You seem boring". We must remember to send him a thank-you rock.
28 August 1996
The fun never stops when I'm around! You cn't stop what doesn't start.
29 August 1996
Ellen won't go out with me. Says she has no feelings toward me... How about pity? I thought hitting bottom would make a louder noise.
30 August 1996
A good hat should make a statement, Garfield. A good hat should say... "Hello, I am cool". Or "pity me".
31 August 1996