I couldn't decide which one of these ties to wear. - So I'm wearing all of them! - Hey, hula hands! Put on some pants!
1 August 1996
This is boring. - I know! - This is boring with hats. A rare moment of lucidity.
2 August 1996
Anything worth having is worth working for! - SMACK! - So THAT'S why I don't have anything!
3 August 1996
- rrrrrrrr - Okay, boy, there's only one way to settle this... - We take 10 paces, turn, and face for the food. - Aand...one...two...three...four...five...six...seven... - BLAT Eight...nine...
4 August 1996
I'm taking a dating quiz, Garfield. - "What do you look for in a date?" - Must be same species. Except on new year's.
5 August 1996
I could get a date if I wanted. On this planet? - I've had lots of dates! Mr. Arbuckle, time for your mediaction. - Yep, I've broken a few hearts. That's because he showed up.
6 August 1996
Marissa! Jon here! How about going out with the King of Keen tonight? - Jon, Jon Arbuckle. - Yes, the dork you met in the park. King of Keen, Meet the Queen of Mean.
7 August 1996
These cellular phones are great, Garfield! - Elle, guess where I am?... - Uh...how far is far enough? Now he can be rejected from anywhere.
8 August 1996
I'm immature?!! - WELL EXCUSE ME, MISS POOPIE HEAD! - Your honor, the defense requests a recess.
9 August 1996
Another saturday night with no dat. - Maybe I'll watch television. - For about a year! He's working off a backlog of rejections.
10 August 1996
- bark bark bark - BARK BARK BARK - * - ooooooo - oooooo - b-bl b-bl b-bl b-bl
11 August 1996
- - That's the last time I hand out programs.
12 August 1996
I'll now take requests from the audience. - Any requests? - ...any audience?
13 August 1996
SPLAT! - MAKEUP! - DOOF
14 August 1996
- You're out of fruit! what are you going to do?! - GONK!
15 August 1996
HISS HISS HISS HISS - Did you forget how to clap?! - With what?!
16 August 1996
...so the chicken says, "that was no herring, that was my trout!" - - What are you dialing? My agent's beeper.
17 August 1996
- - Don't eat that poor, defenseless doughnut! - Don't listen to him! Chow down, pal! - Do what is right! Do what's in your heart! - -
18 August 1996
Z - You can't sleep your life away! z - Not if you keep waking me up!
19 August 1996
Odie! Someone has eaten your... - Ooops. Hang on! - Odie! Someone has eaten your food!
20 August 1996
Oh, joy. I get to spend another day with you. I'll try to control my excitement. - - So far, so good.
21 August 1996
That's it, Garfield. - You've had enough. - Just one more cup? No more coffee.
22 August 1996
That's three cookies for you. - And a third of a cookie for me. - Looks more like half a cookie to me.
23 August 1996
There's a cat in the neighborhood! - Quick! Hide behind these two slices of bread! - I gotta find a new line, or dumber birds.
24 August 1996
- Odie! Little Timmy fell down the old well! - Save him! - SHOOM! - The Old Well - - Odie! Now he's climbing up the water tower!
25 August 1996
Garfield, I was just outside! - An insect flew up my nose! - I'll be going insane any second now! How will you be able to tell?
26 August 1996
Okay, in this scene you play the part of a pitiful goofball! - Action! - My finger's stuck up my nose. Cut! Print! That's a wrap! You're beautiful!
27 August 1996
Garfield, some guy threw a rock through my window. - There's a note attached! - "You seem boring". We must remember to send him a thank-you rock.
28 August 1996
The fun never stops when I'm around! - - You cn't stop what doesn't start.
29 August 1996
Ellen won't go out with me. - Says she has no feelings toward me... - How about pity? I thought hitting bottom would make a louder noise.
30 August 1996
A good hat should make a statement, Garfield. - A good hat should say... - "Hello, I am cool". Or "pity me".
31 August 1996