Z - Z - RIIIINNG! - Z - RIIIIINNG!! - All right! All right! You win! - Z
1 September 1996
I hate it when you smile. - Whenever you smile something bad happens. - But, maybe I'm just paranoid. Release the anvil
2 September 1996
Odie suspects nothing. - BOOT - He still suspects nothing.
3 September 1996
Garfield! - Did you shred the drapes into little bitty pieces?! - Define "little bitty".
4 September 1996
I wonder what Jon is doing. - RUNAWAY ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH! - Same old, same old.
5 September 1996
You are the second most pitiful excuse for a man I have ever met! - The second most pitiful? - Yeeesss! I gotta meet this other guy!
6 September 1996
Cats are smarter than dogs! - And nicer, too! - So don't hurt me! We know here he lives.
7 September 1996
- Sigh... - - Pretty dull, huh? Yeah. - I'm gonna try another one. - Any better? Not really.
8 September 1996
I am a poisonous spider. You are not. - Am too. Are not. - Here, drink this. Hmmm.
9 September 1996
- - Wipe your feet!
10 September 1996
- SWAT! -
11 September 1996
Hey, cat! I'm talking to you! - Not so high and mighty without your newspaper, are you?! - Would you like the rest of this sandwich?
12 September 1996
I represent the other spiders in the house. - I've been sent to present you with an offering of peace and brotherhood. - If you think a half-eaten fly will buy a cease-fire, think again!
13 September 1996
- - Help! You are pathetic.
14 September 1996
- - - Don't move! We've got you surrounded! - Oh, yeah? - Yeaaaaah - SMACK CLAP SMACK
15 September 1996
The Caped Avanger! Faster than a speeding delivery truck Tougher than Taffy! - Able to eat a large pepperoni pizza in a single bite! - ...with anchovies!
16 September 1996
Aha! It's my archenemy, the infamous Doctor Dweeb! - Unhand that cheeseburger or receive a severe thashing! - I hate it whe he does that.
17 September 1996
Life is a struggle between good and evil. - Should I kick Odie off the table?... - Or sorta accidentally bump him off the table?
18 September 1996
Hey! I can see the curvature of the earth! - Hold it! That's my stomach. - You're fat. Only one man's opinion.
19 September 1996
Well, Garfield, it's friday night and surf's up! Oh, no. - You know what that means... Yes, I do. - Beach party! He's filled the living room with sand again.
20 September 1996
How was your date, Jon? - I forgot where we were supposed to meet. - So, she had a relatively good time then?
21 September 1996
FOOD FIGHT! - Let me rephrase that...Yes, earth man?
22 September 1996
Here we are... - "Cat: see lazy". - Oh look. Here's your picture. I smell libel.
23 September 1996
Garfield, sometimes I have to ask the big questions. When's lunch? - Like, what is my purpose? To buy doughnuts. - Why am I here? To feed the cat.
24 September 1996
A cat's keen sense of hearing ca help him identify his prey. - CRUNCH! munch munch munch munch - Toast.
25 September 1996
"Pet intelligence..." - "Cats do not score well on intelligence tests." - I'm surprised. We refuse to read the directions.
26 September 1996
Once, cats were fearless hunters... - Independent, strong and proud. - But, today... Could you get the plastic off this slice of cheese?
27 September 1996
Today they all stared into space for a while... - Then they licked themselves and took naps. - Cat news.
28 September 1996
- - - - GULP I saw that! Get up here! - What have you got to say for yourself?! - BURRRRRP
29 September 1996
I've been busy all day. Me too. - - Wait. Did you say "busy", or, "sitting around doing nothing"?
30 September 1996