Z Z RIIIINNG! Z RIIIIINNG!! All right! All right! You win! Z
1 September 1996
I hate it when you smile. Whenever you smile something bad happens. But, maybe I'm just paranoid. Release the anvil
2 September 1996
Odie suspects nothing. BOOT He still suspects nothing.
3 September 1996
Garfield! Did you shred the drapes into little bitty pieces?! Define "little bitty".
4 September 1996
I wonder what Jon is doing. RUNAWAY ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH! Same old, same old.
5 September 1996
You are the second most pitiful excuse for a man I have ever met! The second most pitiful? Yeeesss! I gotta meet this other guy!
6 September 1996
Cats are smarter than dogs! And nicer, too! So don't hurt me! We know here he lives.
7 September 1996
Sigh... Pretty dull, huh? Yeah. I'm gonna try another one. Any better? Not really.
8 September 1996
I am a poisonous spider. You are not. Am too. Are not. Here, drink this. Hmmm.
9 September 1996
Wipe your feet!
10 September 1996
11 September 1996
Hey, cat! I'm talking to you! Not so high and mighty without your newspaper, are you?! Would you like the rest of this sandwich?
12 September 1996
I represent the other spiders in the house. I've been sent to present you with an offering of peace and brotherhood. If you think a half-eaten fly will buy a cease-fire, think again!
13 September 1996
Help! You are pathetic.
14 September 1996
Don't move! We've got you surrounded! Oh, yeah? Yeaaaaah SMACK CLAP SMACK
15 September 1996
The Caped Avanger! Faster than a speeding delivery truck Tougher than Taffy! Able to eat a large pepperoni pizza in a single bite! ...with anchovies!
16 September 1996
Aha! It's my archenemy, the infamous Doctor Dweeb! Unhand that cheeseburger or receive a severe thashing! I hate it whe he does that.
17 September 1996
Life is a struggle between good and evil. Should I kick Odie off the table?... Or sorta accidentally bump him off the table?
18 September 1996
Hey! I can see the curvature of the earth! Hold it! That's my stomach. You're fat. Only one man's opinion.
19 September 1996
Well, Garfield, it's friday night and surf's up! Oh, no. You know what that means... Yes, I do. Beach party! He's filled the living room with sand again.
20 September 1996
How was your date, Jon? I forgot where we were supposed to meet. So, she had a relatively good time then?
21 September 1996
22 September 1996
Here we are... "Cat: see lazy". Oh look. Here's your picture. I smell libel.
23 September 1996
Garfield, sometimes I have to ask the big questions. When's lunch? Like, what is my purpose? To buy doughnuts. Why am I here? To feed the cat.
24 September 1996
A cat's keen sense of hearing ca help him identify his prey. CRUNCH! munch munch munch munch Toast.
25 September 1996
"Pet intelligence..." "Cats do not score well on intelligence tests." I'm surprised. We refuse to read the directions.
26 September 1996
Once, cats were fearless hunters... Independent, strong and proud. But, today... Could you get the plastic off this slice of cheese?
27 September 1996
Today they all stared into space for a while... Then they licked themselves and took naps. Cat news.
28 September 1996
GULP I saw that! Get up here! What have you got to say for yourself?! BURRRRRP
29 September 1996
I've been busy all day. Me too. Wait. Did you say "busy", or, "sitting around doing nothing"?
30 September 1996