1978 1979 1980 1981 1982 1983 1984 1985 1986 1987 1988 1989 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017
 
 


 
   
Garfield

YOING oing oing oing oing Whoo! What a night! Happy new year.

1 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

STOMP -

2 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

-

3 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

pat pat pat -

4 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Gaaaar-field... Garfield, go out and ge tthe paper. Yeah, yeah. RUMBLE RUMBLE WOOF! WOOF! Back! Bak! You mutts! BOOOM! CRACK zzzt! HONK! HONK! SCREEEEEEEE THONK It's not here yet! KONK! SPLAT

5 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

There's cat hair on the floor. And you know what that means, don't you? Whoa! You don't suppose there's a cat in the vicinity?!

6 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

BONK! That's the eighth time you've hit me with that ball today! Don't you have anything to say for yourself? What's the record?

7 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Yes, Mrs. Brown? Garfield's clawing at your door? Turn off the can opener, Mrs. Brown.

8 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Coming up on your right, ladies and gentlemen, the amazing "Stairway of Banana Peels"! BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK And now if you will pick up your teeth, we can move on the the remarkable "Closet of Falling Stuff"!

9 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

When do you want me to wake you? When you feel real brave. That should get me to the millenium.

10 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello there, how are you? I am fine. I see you are a cat. I have a cat. His name is Mittens. I love my cat. He sits on my lap ans I pet him and pet him and pet I hate it when mimes take a break.

11 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Here comes Arlene! EEEYUUUUHHH! Hi, Arlene. Hello, Garfield. Well, it's been nice talking to you. I'm sure you have to run... Oh no. I have lots of time. So...how are you doing? I'm busy! See yuh! Whew! Vanity, thy name isGarfield.

12 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

A big bear hug, and I'm ready to face the day! Better take two...it's monday.

13 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Uh-oh! -

14 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Garfield! Dinner! Z -

15 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

LICK LICK SLURP Want a lick, Pooky? -

16 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

* Pooky, you sure know how to spoil a good bad mood!

17 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to work. And I'll do nothing! Let's hear it for Yin and Yang.

18 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

SMACK! Yeeew... -

19 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you have to stand that close to me? No. I can stand this close.

20 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I shall now toss this bird into the air and catch it in my mouth! I am sooo stupid.

21 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Know what I'm having for dinner, Garfield? Oh, I thought I'd fry up a little... Fish skeleton! So, what are you trying to say?

22 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

This doggy sweater feels pretty good on a cold day. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Now it's a little too warm.

23 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I got you a get-well card, Jon. What are you doing, Garfield? Waiting fo you to finish that month old meat loaf.

24 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

There's no news today. Because verybody everywhere spent all day watching TV. Looks like we're going to have to start taking turns.

25 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! Dinner! I fixed you something special for dinner tonight, Garfield. Broiled tournedos of beef in a brown mushroom gravy... On a wild rice pilaf with glazed baby carrots and garnished with an orange slice and a sprig of freshparsley! GULP BURRP I

26 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield, guess what? It's snowed last ni SPLAP Tell me something I don't know. THIS IS WAR!

27 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, Garfield, I'm ready! * ** Never build your fort at the bottom of a hill. YAAHH!

28 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

WOO WOO WOOOO Just call him "Mister Powder Pants".

29 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Here comes Jon! fling SPLOT EEEEEIIIYIIIEEOOO Oops a little low.

30 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Snowball fighting is so barbaric. FLING! SPLOT! UHHH-AH-EEE-AH-EEE-AHH-EEE-AHH thump thump thump thump thump GARFIELD!

31 January 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

pat pat pat tink It's a sickness.

1 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

chatter chatter chatter What the heck. He's cold anyway. And I'm hungry.

2 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh... Garfield! Are you all right? Yeah. Nothing a cup of hot chocolate couldn't cure.

3 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Z brrriinng -

4 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I hate snow. WOOOOOOSSSH And the feeling is mutual.

5 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Ready, Garfield? Let's go! AIEEEE! Enough practice...Let's go for it! Why am I up front?

6 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

That was some sled ride, huh, Garfield. Pretty fast, huh, Garfield. Garfield? Can we go back and pick up my lips?

7 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

kick Ha! -

8 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

This is your standar dmodel dog. It comes complete with a vacant stare... Disgusting, drooling, oversized tongue... * And a full set of fleas. * Brain not included.

9 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Here, Jon. Have the cookie Odie licked. Why, Garfield, this is so unlkie you. No, it's not.

10 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm taking Odie for a walk. By the way, we're out of helium.

11 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Tails. Two out of three? Forget it. The TV remote is mine tonight.

12 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I love the city! Anything you want is right here. Hey, buddy, wanna buy a suit? Sure! Taxi!

13 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I attract fun, Garfield. "Be prepared to party", that's my motto. Yup...you gotta be ready. He filled his pockets with avocado dip.

14 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

This has been a bad day, Garfield. And no wonder. Someone stuck a "Bury Me Alive" sign on my back! Yes, some days are better than others.

15 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

swoop GULP! * -

16 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

My chair seems to be sinking into the floor. Time to diet, Garfield. Give me one good reason!

17 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

SLUUUUCK CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH The diet, day one.

18 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's your leaf of lettuce. Thanks. And here's your look of disgust.

19 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

*YAWN* You slept through breakfast... Whoop dee-doo And missed your morning carrot stick. Remind me to sleep through lunch, too.

20 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I have an idea. Why don't you NOT diet, and than cheat on that by dieting? You have a weird hair growing out of your ear.

21 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I know you're sick of carrot sticks, so I fixed you something different. Diced carrots! BOY! That's uncomfortable.

22 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Garfield! Breakfast! munch munch munch hop hop hop RABBIT SEASON Z I have been on this diet TOO long. Breakfast.

23 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Eat me! Day seven of the diet: the hallucinations begin.

24 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

C'mon, why don't you eat me? Because you're a hallucination, that's why! Besides, I prefer chocolate doughnuts. Nooo problem! Sigh.

25 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Aren't you going to eat me? No. You*'re a hallucination. This diet is making me nuts! Whatever food I think of just Whoooo's hungry?!

26 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

You diet hallucinations are driving me crazy! A doughnut and a pizza...all that's missing is a Hi, big goy. tap tap Well, the gang's all here.

27 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

How's it going, scale? Not so good... you? Awful. This diet is killing me. Sounds like we could both use a good laugh... Why don't you hop on?

28 February 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm proud of you, Garfield. You stuck to your diet, and actually lost a few pounds. I know. And I can't wait to find those suckers again!

1 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh. Sigh. AHEM Sigh.

2 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

You know wht the main difference is between you and me, Garfield? Intellect? I don't say "meow". Like I said.

3 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Now that I've put aluminium siding on Odie, We won't have to paint him!

4 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

We're in a rut, Garfield. Maybe I should change your name. I'm going to call you "Bingo"! Bad Bingo! It's sounding better already.

5 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

You must be one of those cats I've heard so much about. Am I supposed to be barking? Ahem...bark. First day on the job.

6 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't want to be disturbed! Jon't working on a jigsaw puzzle. Those two-piecers can be vicious.

7 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon say I never pay attention to him. Watch me prove how wrong he is. You did something with your hair, right, Jon?

8 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, Mister Cat! I'm Jenny, from the spider scouts! And I'm selling spider scout cookies to rais emoney for my troop. We have mealworm mint wafers, mashed fly macaroons, and silverfish s'mores! So, how many boxes can I put you downfor? Is that a tiny bere

9 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

-

10 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

You can't do this to me! I demand the right to call my attorney! Now get me a telephone book, bozo! This is too easy.

11 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Know what? Life's just too short. SMACK Boy, the irony is so thick, you could cut it with a knife.

12 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Cat! smack Uh-oh. Bernie! Are you okay?! What can we do?! Subscribe to a bigger magazine.

13 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

gobble munch smack gulp -

14 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Burp Big meal? You bet. A whole fly! What a pig.

15 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

* dingle * dingle Uh-oh... SHOOM WHUMP! * dingle pant pant pant pant * pant pant pant * dingle * dingle YAAHH! * pant pant I'd say they've broken at least three city ordinances, right, Bubba? I didn't see nothin'. Let's gat adoughnut.

16 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm depressed, Garfield. After I'm gone, no one will care that I ever existed. Hey, cheer up, Jon. They don't care now.

17 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Z lap lap lap lap lap lap lap lap lap lap lap lap lap Jon! Odie's drinking of of the toilet again!

18 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Soon Jon's food will be mine! I at elunch early today. Oh, great! Now, what am I supposed to do with this sneaky expression?!

19 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Prepare for a stomping, daisy! Why don't you pick on someone your own size?! A daisy MY size? Hey, Luther! You want a piece of this, cat?!...C'mon! C'mon! Wake UP, Garfield...waaaake UP.

20 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Sad news from home, Garfield. "Dear son: your pet hog, Earl, has passed away." "Enclosed are some delicious sausage patties". Well, I'm through grieving. Let's eat!

21 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

...and don't you forget it! You forgot it, didn't you? I forgot it before you finished saying whatever it was.

22 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Gaar-field. How about a kitty treat, Garfield? flip Sorry, only one treat per kitty. WHOP! Wow! FIVE kitties.

23 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, Linda? ...Jon Arbuckle... OK, I'll wait. She's putting me on her answering machine. Ouch.

24 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Marsha, will you go out with me? Say yes and I'll be happier than a hog with a mouth full of slop. Hello?... Platitude Man strikes out again.

25 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Think of this way, Julie. Going out with me is better than a stick in the eye. Put the stick down, Julie. Never give'm options, Jon.

26 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to impress my date, Garfield. She'll see how neat and organized I am. I'm taking my sock drawer. The Binky the Clown socks should stay home.

27 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

My date is in show business, Garfield. We met at the carnival. Tonight I dine with "Zelda, the Toad Woman". Don't forget to take a jar of flies.

28 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I'm gonna slug down this root beer... Then I'm gonna go talk to that chick. BURP! CRETIN! Ah, love.

29 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Woo...that's even too much for ME...

30 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, how would you like breakfast in bed this morning? Sure. Fill 'er up!

31 March 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't stand the smell of this paint! Don't worry, the Bumsteads have invited us over to their house. You mean we're moving to a different comic strip? Just until the paint dries. Even for april fool's day this is ridiculous!

1 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! The volume needs adjusting. squeak squeak bark! bark! bark! bark!

2 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

There's Harry Rogers. "Most likely to succeed". That's Patty Harrison. "Most likely to become famous". There's me. "Most likely to date a kitchen appliance."

3 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, go out and get the paper. All right, all right! I'll mow the lawn!

4 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

knock knock knock Opening day of flea season. Honey, we're home!

5 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Garfield! Z Dinner! scoot scoot scoot scoot scoot scoot scoot scoot scoot scoot scoot scoot You are incredible. First food, then compliments.

6 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I've decided to take up jogging. Which will go well with my other hobby... ...lying.

7 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield, let's play "catch". BOINK I said, "catch". I prefer "Ricochet".

8 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

We need some action around here! Wiggling your ears doesn't count. Then YOU think of something.

9 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

This book is about faithful pets, Garfield. Pets who risked their lives to protect their owners. You wouldn't be interested. What about the time I ate that hot pizza to save you from burning the roof of your mouth?

10 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I'm home! Some pets scamper to greet their owners. But, not yoooou though. I believe the keyword is "scamper".

11 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Here comes Jon. I'd better look busy. Rats! I forgot how!

12 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

TONK Good evening, ladies. BONK! And gentlemen. DONK DONK DONK And you kids, too.

13 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

This morning I had a bowl of cereal with strawberries. When I turned my back, a mouse ate them. What do you say, Garfield?! We have strawberries?

14 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you know what's going to happen when I catch xou? Not really. Let's ask Jon. Maybe he knows.

15 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Those mice are too much, Garfield. Either they go, or I go! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! What's that noise? That's twenty mice dragging your suitcase down the stairs.

16 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I came within an eyelash of catching that pesky mouse today. I'm back from Hawaii! Okay, maybe it was several eyelashes.

17 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

The mouse escaped. I mean, the mouse escaped. You're not fooling anybody. How about this? The mouse...

18 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't come out here, mouse, or you'll regret it. You'll really, REALLY regret it! Why? Because it's really, REALLY boring out here.

19 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

boop * beep boop I'd like to order a pizza... Make it large... With onions... And mushrooms... And anchovies. And hurry. I earn every bite.

20 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

You look like you're ready for a nice climb Fat chance! There's a bird's nest on the third branch from the top. Liar! Sucker.

21 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Do trees have feelings? Like love...hate...pain? Oh, pain, definitely. Really? When? Right now. You're standing on my root. Sorry.

22 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Climb you? What do you think I am, a dope? Will you scratch my back then? scratch scratch scratch Ahhh...higher...higher...higher... Hey! What a dope.

23 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon will rescue me. He worries when I'm not around. What a great guy. Good ol' Jon. He should be here any minute now. Where is that dork?

24 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Have you hugged your tree today?

25 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Come on, climb me. No way. You'll be sorry. Yeah, right, What are you gonna do about it, bark breath? -

26 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Fetch the ball, Odie! Good boy! You threw that ball in my spaghetti on purpose! Don't be silly. Now, fetch the garlic bread...I mean, ball again, Odie.

27 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, we have to talk abou this thing you have for food. It's getting out of hand. There are lip prints on the refrigerator. I can be very affectionate.

28 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

It certainly is a... BOOT! Pleasant day.

29 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I had a combing accident this morning. Were there any survivors?

30 April 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Cats are good. Cat hair is good. Hair balls are good. Hair balls are our friends. Sensitivity training.

1 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

You WILL go out with me? All right! When? How long is a millenium? You'd better start getting ready.

2 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon forgot my fork. -

3 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey dipwad, time to feed the cat! Take a moment out of your pathetic existence to care for your living pet, you dork! I...I guess I'll, uh...fix your dinner. ZIP And make it snappy, geek boy! I love this thing.

4 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, Garfield! It's the 24-hour sock drawer channel! Welcome to "Darning for Dollars"! All right! I think I'll go dust off the radio.

5 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

First we caress the meal with our eyes... Then we allow the scent to permeate the room... Then we shove our face in the plate and inhale! snort! grunt! gulp! I knew she'd crack.

6 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

So one accountant says to the other, "you're so accrual, you don't depreciate me anymore!" Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! I don't get in. This has been "Inside Joke Theater". Figured.

7 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Now it's time to play "Name That Pain"! Listen carefully, contestants... Ouch! Eeech! Yaaach! Yeeech! Oiiiieee! BZZZT Pat, that's a guy who forgot to take all the pins out of his new shirt! I knew that one! Go figure.

8 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap -"Ninja Sissies" will return in a moment. Where's the remote?

9 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome, th "Ed, the Wonder Ca-... CLICK ...the adventures of "Lothar: Mouse Warrior"! I hope those batteries wear down soon.

10 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Z You are accidentally locked inside a pasta factory. You are roaming by endless rows of grinders and sifters and cookers when... A familiar aroma beckons you. It's a huge, steaming vat of lasagna! You are seconds away from thegreatest feast in history! R

11 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z Ever have a day when you just can't wake up? Z

12 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK Beware Of The Dog

13 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I'm giving you a bad attitude award. Oh, great. What am I supposed to do with this stupid... Say, I AM good.

14 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

We're being annoying in shifts.

15 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

This is a personalized cologne, Garfield. They match your personality with just the right scent. It's called "Eau de Geek". Smells like a pocket protector.

16 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I worked on a jigsaw puzzle for eight hours. As it turned out, there was a piece missing. Small world. I worked on a puzzle for eight hours, and there were 499 pieces missing.

17 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

clickety clickety clickety Sigh Time sure crawls when you're waiting for the pizza delivery guy.

18 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, Garfield! A new brand of kitty treats! They're shaped like little running mailmen. "Sugar sweetened civil servants," I like it!

19 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, if you're reeeeal good today... I'll give you a kitty treat. Hmmm. Looks like I have to maul him for the box again.

20 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

YAAHHH HOOOOOOOOO New "lasagna flavored" kitty treats.

21 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Sorry, pal, we're out of kitty treats. I might pick some up when I find the time. Any coupons?

22 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

A new goldfish! Wait! I'm not just any fish. I'm a magic fish. Yeah, right. Really! I can grant your fondest wish. Okay, I wish for some tartar sauce. He's not buying it.

23 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

What have you got in your mouth, Garfield? Nothing. Garfield?! It's NOT one of those birds that looks kind of like a sparrow, but isn't. I forget what they're called.

24 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmp! Look at you, you lazy lump! Get up! Move around! Exercise! Go outside! Breathe some fresh air! Go to the library! Read a book! You're still sitting there, aren't you? Yup. Goooood, I have trained you well.

25 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Forget it, Garfield. You had lunch just an hour ago. Stop living in the past, Jon.

26 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie is chilly, so I'm going to help him put on socks. -

27 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

That's me at the prom. Out theme was "Dairy Products for Strong Bones". I was voted "King of the Udders"! Nice costume.

28 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! Did you break this lamp? Only that bottom half there.

29 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

It's fun time! Maybe the clock is slow.

30 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Laugh, and the worls laughs with you! Get a live, world!

31 May 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I am never, ever taking you through a car wash again. Can I have that i writing?

1 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmmm... "Scorpio: travel highlights your immediate future". WHACK

2 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi! I'm new around here. My name's Myron. Put 'er there! This is a good day.

3 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey! I thought I squished you yesterday! Nah. You only got my leg. Wanna sign my cast?

4 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

What happened to you? The cat squished me flat. He hates spiders. You're not alone. He hates flies, too. Ouch.

5 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

What do spiders do for fun? Well, me, I like to read. Knock yourself out.

6 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

SPLUT Nothing worse than a clever arachnid. hee hee hee

7 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Spider! You'r elooking good! Yep... Just had the body cast removed yesterday! I also had the stitches removed last week, and I don't have to wear that nech braze anymore. The doc says I'm as good as new. The only thing that hasn'treturned yet is... SMACK

8 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Coffee, the perfect diet drink...it's low cal. SCHLURP And high octane!

9 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I bought some "gourmet coffee," Garfield. What do you think? PHHHT Okay, I'm gonna go out on a limb here...

10 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

The coffee took my donut. Coffee strong enough for you? Yeah, but the donuts are too weak. Burp.

11 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

snap snap Will that be all, master? For now, but stand by for crumb detail.

12 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I heard SOMEone is turning nineteen soon. Have you been blabbing again?

13 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

You're getting older, you're getting... ...you're getting...uh...ummmm...uh... Now what was I thinking about?

14 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Gaaaaarrr-fiiieeelld... Come to me, Garfield. Commmmme to meeeee... Come toward the light, Garfield... Come to the liiiight... Get out of there!

15 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I feel old, Squeak. How old are you? I'm going to be nineteen. WHOA! ...I mean, oh, really!

16 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

tap tap tap hee hee hee hee hee hee hee Just wait till YOUR next birthday!

17 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, Garfield, I've done all th emath. With your daily average of 18 hours of sleep timeas your age, you've slept for 14 years and 3 months. The best years of my life!

18 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Wow... Is it warm in here, or is it just me? Happy birthday! It's just me.

19 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Big dinner date tonight, Garfield. I'm pulling out all the stops. Yessir, I'm using the drive-up window tonight! Well hello, Mr. Snooty.

20 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Harriet, if you ever leave, I'll pull myself out by the roots! GULP Did I say "roots"?

21 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

mmmmm AHhhhhhh There's no better feeling than lying in cool grass on a warm summer night. Garfield, time for bed! Rats. Put it back-

22 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

You didn't do anything remotely resembling work today, did you? Well, dinner was kind of cheway.

23 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

He doesn't drink it. He just spreads it around the house.

24 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z PA, THE CHICKENS ARE DROWNING! Z Recurring farm nightmare.

25 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you know what's fun? Me neither. A rare moment of candor.

26 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

May I speak to the man of the house? Define "Man".

27 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Are you certain this is the right amount of chili powder to add to this dish? Absolutely! FOOF! Now pitch it out and order a pizza.

28 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware Of The Dog Seriously, This Dog Is Bad News! All Right! All Right! I Don't Have A Dog! I wanted A Dog, But Nooooo! "Too Stinky, Mother Said..." Well, I'LL SHOW MOTHER! I'LL SHOW YOU ALL!!! Beware Of The Man In The Dog Suit.

29 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Did you see that beautiful woman? She smiled at me! Was that before or after she pointed an laughed?

30 June 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Chicks likeintellectual guys. So I'm boning up on classic literature. "Here's Mr. Butterly, visiting Miss Daisy...." The man's reading a coloring book.

1 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey there, chicky-boo, chicky-boo-boo-boo. Tell me, are you obnoxious, or just plain stupid? That's for me to know, and for you to find out. Today we're stupid.

2 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

So, Sarah, you don't care for my personality? Well, the joke's on you, Sarah! I don't have a personality! He's got her there.

3 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you believe in love at first sight? I have a brick in my purse. Must be a code.

4 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh... Garfield, what is my purpose in life? To make others feel superior?

5 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

AHHHH AHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

6 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

See the lazy cat. See the lazy cat take a nap in the road. See the steamroller... WAKE UP, CAT!

7 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey...this isn't water... It's CHICKEN STOCK! There goes my sparrow gumbo.

8 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm training Odie to be a watchdog. Now Odie, if a burglar broke into the house, what would you do? That is correct! Make me a ham sandwich!

9 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Got my beach ball, got my fins, got my surfboard. EEK! I'll get your trunks.

10 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

This lotion is supposed to prevent sunburn. Want some, Garfield? Nope. Don't need it. I could use some eyeholes, though.

11 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

What do you think, Garfield? You're asking the wring guy, Jon. To a cat, a sandcastle is nothing more than an outhouse with turrets.

12 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

What a great day! I hate going to the beach with Jon... HOT! HOT! HOT! HOT! HOT! HOT! SHARKS! RIPTIIIIIiiiiide TIDAL WAVE! He always has to be the center of the attention. WATER SPOUT!

13 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Gee, it seems a shame to wake him. Z But on the othe rhand... Z This oughta be a good show. Z

14 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Check out that cute girl over there! And check out her big boyfriend returning with ice cream! Actually, it's kind of refreshing.

15 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

O-die! O-die! GARFIELD!

16 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

That's it, Garfield. I've asked every girl on this beach out. And they all said no. Even the one with the hairy back? Even the one with the hairy back!

17 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

This whole trip to the beach has been a complete failure! I didn't meet a single girl! pat pat There, there... YEOOW You'll always have your sunburn to keep you warm.

18 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Eww! A dead fish! A dead, stinky, smelly, disgusting fish. What's that smell?

19 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

...5-4-3-2... chuffa chuffa chuffa chuffa chuffa chuffa -GULP! BURP chuffa chuffa chuffa chuffa chuffa chuffa The ol' 5:05, right on time.

20 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Run for your lives! There's a glacier headed this way! It'll be here in forty million years! Get out of the refrigerator, Garfield.

21 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie and I are going to take a walk. Bye! And don't change the locks again. Sure, blame the cat!

22 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Isn't nature thrilling, Garfield? Nature is boring. You're staring at the wall. Then your wallpaper is boring.

23 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm in a bad mood. Relatively speaking.

24 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, Garfield, I made a cheese sculpture! Very nice. Esoteric, yet piquant.

25 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I love the night. I sense the woodland creatures fleeing in terror before me. I hate the night.

26 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

* RING RING ** RING RING *click* This is Jon Arbuckle. Leave your name and message at the tone. *beeeeeeeeep* Hi, Jon? This is Tami, the professional cheerleader you met at the pizza parlor... I can't stop thinking about you! Call me.My number is CLICK CL

27 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I feel my primal instincts welling up from deep within my soul. I must return to my wild jungle roots! Call me a cab.

28 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

BOO! I thought cats were supposed to be high-string. Gimme time. This is only my second cup.

29 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Here, kitty, kitty. Good kitty! Whoa, a surprise ending.

30 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Studies prove that cats DON'T always land on their feet. How's that limp, Jon? Keep away from me. I land on OTHER people's feet!

31 July 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's an article about a cat who rescued people from a burning building. I'll bet you couldn't do that. Sure I could. Gimme some matches.

1 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

sniff sniff . Do I smell tuna? They make cologne for cats now.

2 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

He's gonna say it. I just know he's gonna say it. It wouldn't be Jon if he didn't say it. 4...3...2...1... What a long train. ARRRRGH!

3 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Two visible doughnuts for me. And two INvisible doughnuts for you. Give me one of those. Now, now. Don't be greedy.

4 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Next time *I* get to pick what we do.

5 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

This is what's left of the couch. scratch scratch scratch

6 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I hope you appreciate how hard I work preparing meals! Ouch! Trouble with the chip bag again? I got a paper cut.

7 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Ellen won't let me come to her party, Garfield. I'm so depressed. At least I have one friend to be with me. I'd love to, but I have a party to go to.

8 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Z BRRINNG! Z rrrrriiinng Z Z

9 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Whew! GOOOSH grab shake shake shake PSSSSHHHHHT! Aw, is the kitty warm? Joke. That was a joke.

10 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Millions of years ago, dinosaurs ruled the earth. Hold it. This isn't about the last time you had a date, is it?

11 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Lori, how about dinner? Well then, how about lunch? Brunch? Breakfast? What if I dirve by your house and throw a cheeseburger out the window? Be carefult not to grovel, Jon.

12 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Ellen, if you don't go out with me, I'll die. It's just a figure of speech, Ellen. No, you can't have my computer. Can I have the TV?

13 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I only need to do one more thing to get ready for my date! boop boop beep boop beep beep beep boop Hello, Sheila? Say, what are you doinf tonight? You're pathetic!

14 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

The chicks don't return my calls, Garfield. I haven't had a date in months. I must be very intimidating. Welcome to Jon world.

15 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, Suzy. I'm Jon, your blind date. So where would you like to eat tonight? You have a craving for raw meat? At last, a real woman.

16 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

! -

17 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to put this cake somewhere that won't tempt you. Let me do it! Temptation's gone!

18 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Go away. And stay away.

19 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

pat pat pat It's ninety degrees. And we're out of powdered sugar!

20 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm bored. I've got a bat stuck in my hair! Some people have all the fun.

21 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Disgusting. She was referring to you. She was referring to you. Maybe she was referring to herself. Let's go with that.

22 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

The Cat Is Stoopi* aHEM klak klak klak klak The Cat

23 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, cat. Hi, tree. Climb me. I don't know. That branch doesn't look very safe. Try it and see. Oh, all right. CRACK SPLAT! claw claw claw claw claw Ahhhhhhh The things I'll do for a good back scratch.

24 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm stuck! I can't get up! All right!

25 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

What would happen if I were as lazy as you? I wouldn't have to answer your insipid questions.

26 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I'll be doing my own chewing today. Don't strain anything.

27 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I thought I told you to move around today. Jon has obviously not factored in the rotation of earth.

28 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't you have anything to do? I've been keeping an eye on that crack in the ceiling. NOW I don't have anything to do.

29 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

You ought to be ashamed, you lazy, worthless, pathetic excuse for a pet! Ah-HA!

30 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Mom fixed me up with a blind date tonight. She says she's got a great sense of humor. Excuse me. BWAH-HA HA HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HAR HAR HAR GAH-HA! HA! GASP! SNORT! WAH Ha! Ha! Ha! *wheeze* cough...cough Do continue. She won firstplace at the country fai

31 August 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

You're the ugliest little boy I've ever seen. You think I'm little?

1 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie is plotting. He's plotting to rub his paws together.

2 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield is timing my run. How'd I do? Okaaaay...go! click

3 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to go grout the bathroom tile now. That gravy was NOT too thibk!

4 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you think glasses would make me look smarter? Let's find out. No, you still look stupid.

5 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

ARF! ARF! BARK! BARK! BARK! BOW-WOW! WOOF! WOOF! YIP! YIP! BARK! BARK! BARK! Watchdog on vacation. Please bark at yourself. ARF I feel silly.

6 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Attention shoppers ...will the owner of a red sedan ...license number TB-312 ...please return to your car. Your lights are on. ...again. UNLOCK THAT DOOR! Did you bring me anything?

7 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome to "Quantum Physics And You". click click click WHOA! Look out! Whew! I almost saw something worthwile.

8 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome to "The Loud Show". we're loud, we're proud... AND WE'RE MEAN, TOO!!

9 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

It's time to open the door... Here comes the scary part. creeeeeeek... I can't look! Ah, a perfect souffle! Whew!

10 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Here we see a lion eating an antilope. Pretty icky, huh? I'll say. No table linen!

11 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

My next guest is a prehistoric monster. Who rose from the depths of the earth to stomp on Tokyo. And has written a book about his experiences. Of course.

12 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm getting the TV fixed, Garfield. I can't stand watching you stare out of the window... Clicking the remote. Change! Darn you! click click click click

13 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

We'll return after this message from our sponsor. Wow! SLAM! SPREAD SPREAD SALT SALT SALT Pour Pour Pour Chop Chop Chop SLAM! Look at him go! What form! What precision! PATTA PATTA PATTA PATTA PATTA PATTA ...what grace? And then hechokes in the homestret

14 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I've just been remembering the good times. Good times? I must have been asleep. You were asleep. Hey!

15 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I kick Odie this way... BOOT! And then back this way... KICK! IT's like I never kicked him at all!

16 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I feel stress. Me too. Burrrrrrrrrrrrp Now I don't.

17 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm fetching the paper for you, Jon. But it's rather heavy. So we're going to do this in installments.

18 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, everybody! Garfield caught a mouse! He's playing with it, then he's going to eat it! Is your back feeling better now? Just a few more minutes.

19 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I have some chores for you. Happy to help. One of these days.

20 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

A-hem Get lost, tubby. Fat chance, fatso. Sigh... Well, hello there. Finally! Someone who loves me for ME!

21 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Fear not, cat! I will not bite you! For *I* am a pacifist. You look like a spider to me.

22 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

This is a little game I call "boo-whack". BOO!! EEK! WHACK

23 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

How's the wife and kids? You SQUISHED them yesterday! Oh...yeah. This is what's know as an "awkward moment".

24 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you know what I just learned? Spiders are lousy swimmers.

25 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Cat. meet my friend Petey the Tick. Howdy-do. SKLIK Hey! What do you think you're doing?! He owed me money!

26 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmm. I don't remember squashing those spiders... Is he gone? Yeah. Frank, you're a genius! You do what you hav eto do.

27 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Systems Activated Target Search Enhance Locked on Fire WHOP Did you get the paper? No, it got me.

28 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I've figured out your problem. It has to do with self-esteem. Too much of it. That's "too much of it, SIR".

29 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Look behind you, Odie! whap whap whap whap whap I love that dog.

30 September 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I think I have it now, Garfield. Yessss! Darn! The man is screwing in a light bulb.

1 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

You're planning to bite me, aren't you? Why would you say that? You put mustard on my hand! Let me have a closer look.

2 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Hope you didn't eat the meat loaf, Garfield. It's been in the fridge for six months. Anybody who eats that has only minutes left. Just enough time for dessert then.

3 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh Why not show some enthusiasm for life? SIGH!

4 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

tap tap tap BEWARE OF THE DOG Sorry, cat, I can't bark at you today. Why not? I have a sore throat. Hey, no problem! Mom's home remedy will have you barking again in no time! Really? First you take a bath towel and soak it withice-cold hose water...then S

5 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I'm going to take some time to reflect on my life. Gee, that didn't take long. Like scuba diving in a shot glass.

6 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't breathe! I'm passing out! THUD! Better go back to the clip-on ties, Jon.

7 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going for the record, Garfield. Three hundred consecutive days without saying the word "beans"! Darn. I wonder if there's a place to go to buy a life.

8 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Time to celebrate, Garfield! It's Renaldo Smit's birthday...the father of stamp collecting! The hot cocolate will flow tonight! I have the urge to perforate something.

9 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Life's not fair, Garfield. Let's be realistic. Remember, you can't always get everything you want. YOU can't. *I* can.

10 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I need to change my image. You have an image?

11 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Rats. click click click click click RATS click click cli RATS cli ARRRGGHHH No one can lose at computer games faster than Jon.

12 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

There's an exciting world out there! There had better be food on the front lawn.

13 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

SHOVE Heh, heh, heh. Heh, heh, heh.

14 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

These pants are very uncomfortable. Possibly because that's a shirt.

15 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

GULP GOBBLE SNARF GULP Every time I watch you eat, I lose my appetite. He's onto me.

16 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I had nothing to do with it! THUD Timing, Garfield! Timing!

17 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder if this coffee is any good? I'll give it the "Dunk Test". It's goooood.

18 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

click In the news... Giant bugs invaded a television station today! Giant, news-reading bugs. Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat! Giant, news-reading bugs, who are mildly amused by attempts to swat them with a magazine...ha,ha-HAAA! Resistance is futile!

19 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Help! Help! This looks like a job for super dog! WHACK! Flew into a fire hydrant.

20 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon wants me to watch this tape. click Hi! Uh, this is Jon Arbuckle, and I'd like to present the Garfield Workout Video! Z You're a funny man, Jon Arbuckle!

21 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Why are you trying to change the channel with a candy bar? BURP Uh-oh.

22 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Here comes the old slowpoke, Mister Three-Toed Sloth... And who's this? Why, it's Mister Anaconda! My, that don't take long! I'll bet they're darn tasty, too.

23 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Woof! Woof! Just like a dog. Uh, woof? Forgot his lines.

24 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder if a visit from my little sock puppet buddy "Bubba" would liven things up around here. Not much occurs to Bubba.

25 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

poke poke Z poke poke -

26 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

What are you supposed to be? I'm a cat with dark glasses and a fake arrow through his head, holding a rubber chicken, genius!

27 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's Doris Blasko, my high school sweetheart. Doris was very mature for her age. She was first in our class to have facial hair. Not every woman can wear mution chops.

28 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey! Where's the rest of my laundry? Missing laundry, you say?! This sounds like a job for...THE SOCK!

29 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

You're wearing my socks! That's why they cal me "THE SOCK" This is the worst! Not really... Meet my sidekick, STINKY!

30 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Is there any crime that needs fighting around here? No? That's good, because I'm just a cat with a sock on my head.

31 October 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

ALL RIGHT! The first Christmas commercial.

1 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh The leaves are falling, and soon I'll be catching snowflakes on my tongue... ! Amazing. Can I call 'em, or can I call 'em? PTUI! PTUI! PTUI! PTUI!

2 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I think your stomach should be a little smaller. Well then maybe WE should try standing a little farther away.

3 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

It was a beautiful day in scale land. Suddenly, the little forest scales went silent. I hate it when he does it. A huge shadow fell across the land...

4 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I think you're too fat. Get back to me when you're absolutely certain.

5 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, fatty. ...fatty-fatty-fat-fat-fatso. Fat-fat-fatty-fat-fatso-fat fatster-fatty-fat-fat... Fat-fatty-fat-fat... I'm counting the days till his batteriy dies.

6 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

click click And here we are at the Wisconsin Cheese Festival. Diet time.

7 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

You are fat. Fatter, after you scarf that eclair.

8 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh... Boy, am I depressed. bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz tease tease tease tease tease tease tease tease ree ree ree paint paint paint Funny...I feel better. I do what I can.

9 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I hate this diet. * * ** ** * ** * ** * * ** * * ** WAAAHH! Ice cream truck.

10 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

The perfect diet snack! Fat-free, unsalted pretzel sticks! munch munch munch

11 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH Okay! You can have something besides celery for a snack! If you insist.

12 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

So, how goes the diet, Garfield? And what are my new shoes doing in this pot of boiling water?! Tenderizing.

13 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

This diet has been pretty rough. But at least I haven't had any of those weird hallucinations this time. Excuse me... May I borrow a cup of giblet gravy? Don't look, Garfield. Don't look.

14 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Your weight is none of my business. Garfield... Did you fiddle with the scale? That's none of your business.

15 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

sip How's the diet going, Garfield. Very well, thank you, Jon. SNARF sip SCARF sip We wouldn't be cheating, would we? Whatever gave you that idea?

16 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder if I'll be remembered when I'm gone? Sure you will. People will say, "we sure miss..." Ol...ol' what's his name. snap snap snap

17 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

PUMPA PUMPA PUMPA Idle paws are the devil's workshop.

18 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Cereal is not healthy. Oh, it's nutritious enough.... But, ever try to pass a decoder ring?

19 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Yee-ha! Get along little doggies! Howdy, pardner! If he were a bug, I'd step on him.

20 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Ellen, this is Jon. CLICK Don't grovel, Ellen. I won't go out with you. The man's trying to impress a cat.

21 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Synchronized boredom.

22 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

How about a nice little game of "stomp the spider"? I'm warning you...you'd better not pick on me, cat! And what happens if I do? I'll tell my big brother! Fine! Bring him on! Hey, Rusty! C'mere! Yeah? This big, stupid cat says he'sgonna stomp m

23 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, I don't think you appreciate what a great hunter I am. I'm living in a mouse paradise! Nice timing!

24 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

They're getting smarter.

25 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I haven't seen you chase the mouse lately. It's part of my ingenious plan. First I'll lull him into a sense of security, and then I plan to do absolutely nothing about it.

26 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

You aren't much of a cat. Am so. Is so.

27 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon's caught some mice in his cage trap. That's not what bothers me. It's when they clang their tiny cups against the bars.

28 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Today the mouse gets a taste of my wrath. Don't watch if you have a weak stomach. Hey! Who's changing the channels?! click click click

29 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, Garfield, my head's stuck in a wastebasket... My hands are caught in pickle jars... And my date's coming ans minute? What'll I do? Hold still. That should do it. ** DING DONG Funny how things work out.

30 November 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I made a list of goals for myself. Learn to juggle... And get a date for new years. Whoa...in this millenium?

1 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

RUNK-itta brap brap brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

2 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Nutrition quiz, Garfield. Which vitamin does yor body need most? Grease. What is energy food? Meat that's still moving. What is the most important meal of the day? 4 A.M....a bag of chips and a bowl of dip.

3 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

25 Yes, Garfield, I'm aware Christmas is coming.

4 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm writing a letter to Santa. How quaint and old-fashioned. *I* sent him an E-Mail.

5 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Estelle. Look up. Cute, Frank.

6 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield, want to help me with my letter to Santa? Yeah, right... As if Santa hat the time to read every single... * BING A sleigh bell! ...and a catnip mouse, and a new dish, and a scratching post, and...

7 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Mom usually slips a little something into my Christmas card. All right! She didn't forget! Mashed potatoes! Ooo, could mine have gravity?

8 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmmm... -

9 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Put your finger there so I can tie this bow. Thank you. Thank YOU. Bring that back!

10 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Nope....no....no....not that...nope. flip flip Sigh... He's so hard to buy for.

11 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

So, how was your visit with Santa at the mall? Great. Santa was in a playful mood. Ever hear the one about the elf and the blender?

12 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

How cute. Christmas cookies shaped like little doggies. Okay, who bit all the heads off?

13 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, Garfield, go plug the tree lights in. PLUG Hmmm. Nothing. I'd better check the connections. click ZZZT I absolutely MUST have the number of your stylist. I'm still not speaking to you.

14 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I got the Christmas lights up. I know. I saw it on the evening news.

15 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you leave anything out for Santa on Christmas eve? Oh, sure. A glass of buttermilk, and a dead fly. EEEWWW BUTTERmilk?

16 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

This looks like a nice tree. WHOA! For that price we ought to leave this thing up till july! Sure...what's another month, month or less?

17 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

UNNGH! EERRGH! GAAHH! Jon's been struggling with that Christmas tree stand for hours. I give up! CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP Why don't we just decorate you?

18 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I'll leave your present under the tree if you promise not to peek. You have my word. HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! I'll hide it. I'll find it.

19 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

-

20 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmmm So much for the scientific approach. Okaaaay...what is it?

21 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Nice hat. Thanks, I made it myself. Would you like one? Sure. -

22 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Check your weight? I don't know... Hey, hop on! 'tis the season to be jolly! Well, okay. HO! HO! HO! YOU'RE FAT!

23 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

I remember Christmases back on the farm... Ohhhboy! Christmas eve everyone would gather around the tree and sing carols. Of course the cows would just hum along. Just a liiiittle more information than I needed.

24 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Peace on earth, and goodwill toward men. Dogs, too.

25 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

How can Christmas be over so quickly? Now I have to start waiting all over again. -

26 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

What a great time of year. A season of love, peace and giving. SLAP SLAP GRAB OW! SWIPE SWIPE OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! SCRATCH But, all bets are off when it comes to the last Christmas cookie.

27 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

-

28 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, it's that time of year. Time to pull out my little black book... And find a date for new year's! boop beep boop Welcome to touch.tone twilight zone.

29 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, Sandra. I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me on new year's ev Pardon? This is a wrong number? Oh, as well as I have you on the line, how would YOU like a hunky date for new year's? BOY, he had a high-pitched voice. Oop-sy.

30 December 1997
 
 
   
Garfield

Dear friends, Well, the year is coming to a close, and what a year it was! Uhhhhh.... A year to end all years. Yessiree, what a year it was. Way to fill.

31 December 1997
 




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