Coming up on your right, ladies and gentlemen, the amazing "Stairway of Banana Peels"! - BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK - And now if you will pick up your teeth, we can move on the the remarkable "Closet of Falling Stuff"!
- Here comes Arlene! - EEEYUUUUHHH! - Hi, Arlene. Hello, Garfield. - Well, it's been nice talking to you. I'm sure you have to run... - Oh no. I have lots of time. So...how are you doing? - I'm busy! See yuh! - Whew! Vanity, thy name is
Garfield! Dinner! - I fixed you something special for dinner tonight, Garfield. - Broiled tournedos of beef in a brown mushroom gravy... - On a wild rice pilaf with glazed baby carrots and garnished with an orange slice and a sprig of fresh
- - Hi, Mister Cat! I'm Jenny, from the spider scouts! - And I'm selling spider scout cookies to rais emoney for my troop. - We have mealworm mint wafers, mashed fly macaroons, and silverfish s'mores! - So, how many boxes can I put you down
I can't stand the smell of this paint! Don't worry, the Bumsteads have invited us over to their house. - You mean we're moving to a different comic strip? Just until the paint dries. - Even for april fool's day this is ridiculous!
This book is about faithful pets, Garfield. - Pets who risked their lives to protect their owners. - You wouldn't be interested. What about the time I ate that hot pizza to save you from burning the roof of your mouth?
- Hey dipwad, time to feed the cat! - Take a moment out of your pathetic existence to care for your living pet, you dork! - - I...I guess I'll, uh...fix your dinner. - ZIP - And make it snappy, geek boy! I love this thing.
Now it's time to play "Name That Pain"! Listen carefully, contestants... - Ouch! Eeech! Yaaach! Yeeech! Oiiiieee! BZZZT - Pat, that's a guy who forgot to take all the pins out of his new shirt! I knew that one! Go figure.
Z - You are accidentally locked inside a pasta factory. - You are roaming by endless rows of grinders and sifters and cookers when... - A familiar aroma beckons you. - It's a huge, steaming vat of lasagna! - You are seconds away from the
Hmp! - Look at you, you lazy lump! - Get up! Move around! Exercise! - Go outside! Breathe some fresh air! - Go to the library! Read a book! - You're still sitting there, aren't you? Yup. - Goooood, I have trained you well.
- Spider! You'r elooking good! Yep... - Just had the body cast removed yesterday! - I also had the stitches removed last week, and I don't have to wear that nech braze anymore. - The doc says I'm as good as new. The only thing that hasn't
- Beware Of The Dog - Seriously, This Dog Is Bad News! - All Right! All Right! I Don't Have A Dog! - I wanted A Dog, But Nooooo! "Too Stinky, Mother Said..." - Well, I'LL SHOW MOTHER! I'LL SHOW YOU ALL!!! - Beware Of The Man In The Dog Suit.
* RING RING - ** RING RING *click* - This is Jon Arbuckle. Leave your name and message at the tone. *beeeeeeeeep* - Hi, Jon? This is Tami, the professional cheerleader you met at the pizza parlor... - I can't stop thinking about you! Call me.
Hi, cat. Hi, tree. - Climb me. I don't know. That branch doesn't look very safe. - Try it and see. Oh, all right. - CRACK - SPLAT! - claw claw claw claw claw Ahhhhhhh - The things I'll do for a good back scratch.
- Mom fixed me up with a blind date tonight. - She says she's got a great sense of humor. Excuse me. - BWAH-HA HA HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HAR HAR HAR - GAH-HA! HA! GASP! SNORT! WAH Ha! Ha! Ha! *wheeze* cough...cough - Do continue. - She won first
- We'll return after this message from our sponsor. - Wow! - SLAM! SPREAD SPREAD SALT SALT SALT Pour Pour Pour Chop Chop Chop SLAM! Look at him go! What form! What precision! - PATTA PATTA PATTA PATTA PATTA PATTA ...what grace? - And then he
tap tap tap BEWARE OF THE DOG - Sorry, cat, I can't bark at you today. Why not? - I have a sore throat. Hey, no problem! - Mom's home remedy will have you barking again in no time! Really? - First you take a bath towel and soak it with
click - In the news... - Giant bugs invaded a television station today! - Giant, news-reading bugs. - Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat! - Giant, news-reading bugs, who are mildly amused by attempts to swat them with a magazine...ha,
How about a nice little game of "stomp the spider"? - I'm warning you...you'd better not pick on me, cat! And what happens if I do? - I'll tell my big brother! Fine! Bring him on! - Hey, Rusty! C'mere! - Yeah? This big, stupid cat says he's
- Well, Garfield, my head's stuck in a wastebasket... - My hands are caught in pickle jars... - And my date's coming ans minute? What'll I do? Hold still. - That should do it. - ** DING DONG - Funny how things work out.
Nutrition quiz, Garfield. Which vitamin does yor body need most? Grease. - What is energy food? Meat that's still moving. - What is the most important meal of the day? 4 A.M....a bag of chips and a bowl of dip.
- Hey, Garfield, want to help me with my letter to Santa? Yeah, right... - As if Santa hat the time to read every single... - * BING - - - A sleigh bell! - ...and a catnip mouse, and a new dish, and a scratching post, and...
- Okay, Garfield, go plug the tree lights in. - PLUG - Hmmm. Nothing. - I'd better check the connections. - click ZZZT - I absolutely MUST have the number of your stylist. I'm still not speaking to you.
I remember Christmases back on the farm... Ohhhboy! - Christmas eve everyone would gather around the tree and sing carols. - Of course the cows would just hum along. Just a liiiittle more information than I needed.
Hi, Sandra. I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me on new year's ev- Pardon? This is a wrong number? - Oh, as well as I have you on the line, how would YOU like a hunky date for new year's? - BOY, he had a high-pitched voice. Oop-sy.