Coming up on your right, ladies and gentlemen, the amazing "Stairway of Banana Peels"! BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK And now if you will pick up your teeth, we can move on the the remarkable "Closet of Falling Stuff"!
Here comes Arlene! EEEYUUUUHHH! Hi, Arlene. Hello, Garfield. Well, it's been nice talking to you. I'm sure you have to run... Oh no. I have lots of time. So...how are you doing? I'm busy! See yuh! Whew! Vanity, thy name isGarfield.
Garfield! Dinner! I fixed you something special for dinner tonight, Garfield. Broiled tournedos of beef in a brown mushroom gravy... On a wild rice pilaf with glazed baby carrots and garnished with an orange slice and a sprig of freshparsley! GULP BURRP I
Hi, Mister Cat! I'm Jenny, from the spider scouts! And I'm selling spider scout cookies to rais emoney for my troop. We have mealworm mint wafers, mashed fly macaroons, and silverfish s'mores! So, how many boxes can I put you downfor? Is that a tiny bere
I can't stand the smell of this paint! Don't worry, the Bumsteads have invited us over to their house. You mean we're moving to a different comic strip? Just until the paint dries. Even for april fool's day this is ridiculous!
This book is about faithful pets, Garfield. Pets who risked their lives to protect their owners. You wouldn't be interested. What about the time I ate that hot pizza to save you from burning the roof of your mouth?
Hey dipwad, time to feed the cat! Take a moment out of your pathetic existence to care for your living pet, you dork! I...I guess I'll, uh...fix your dinner. ZIP And make it snappy, geek boy! I love this thing.
Now it's time to play "Name That Pain"! Listen carefully, contestants... Ouch! Eeech! Yaaach! Yeeech! Oiiiieee! BZZZT Pat, that's a guy who forgot to take all the pins out of his new shirt! I knew that one! Go figure.
Z You are accidentally locked inside a pasta factory. You are roaming by endless rows of grinders and sifters and cookers when... A familiar aroma beckons you. It's a huge, steaming vat of lasagna! You are seconds away from thegreatest feast in history! R
Hmp! Look at you, you lazy lump! Get up! Move around! Exercise! Go outside! Breathe some fresh air! Go to the library! Read a book! You're still sitting there, aren't you? Yup. Goooood, I have trained you well.
Spider! You'r elooking good! Yep... Just had the body cast removed yesterday! I also had the stitches removed last week, and I don't have to wear that nech braze anymore. The doc says I'm as good as new. The only thing that hasn'treturned yet is... SMACK
Beware Of The Dog Seriously, This Dog Is Bad News! All Right! All Right! I Don't Have A Dog! I wanted A Dog, But Nooooo! "Too Stinky, Mother Said..." Well, I'LL SHOW MOTHER! I'LL SHOW YOU ALL!!! Beware Of The Man In The Dog Suit.
* RING RING ** RING RING *click* This is Jon Arbuckle. Leave your name and message at the tone. *beeeeeeeeep* Hi, Jon? This is Tami, the professional cheerleader you met at the pizza parlor... I can't stop thinking about you! Call me.My number is CLICK CL
Mom fixed me up with a blind date tonight. She says she's got a great sense of humor. Excuse me. BWAH-HA HA HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HAR HAR HAR GAH-HA! HA! GASP! SNORT! WAH Ha! Ha! Ha! *wheeze* cough...cough Do continue. She won firstplace at the country fai
We'll return after this message from our sponsor. Wow! SLAM! SPREAD SPREAD SALT SALT SALT Pour Pour Pour Chop Chop Chop SLAM! Look at him go! What form! What precision! PATTA PATTA PATTA PATTA PATTA PATTA ...what grace? And then hechokes in the homestret
tap tap tap BEWARE OF THE DOG Sorry, cat, I can't bark at you today. Why not? I have a sore throat. Hey, no problem! Mom's home remedy will have you barking again in no time! Really? First you take a bath towel and soak it withice-cold hose water...then S
click In the news... Giant bugs invaded a television station today! Giant, news-reading bugs. Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat! Giant, news-reading bugs, who are mildly amused by attempts to swat them with a magazine...ha,ha-HAAA! Resistance is futile!
How about a nice little game of "stomp the spider"? I'm warning you...you'd better not pick on me, cat! And what happens if I do? I'll tell my big brother! Fine! Bring him on! Hey, Rusty! C'mere! Yeah? This big, stupid cat says he'sgonna stomp m
Well, Garfield, my head's stuck in a wastebasket... My hands are caught in pickle jars... And my date's coming ans minute? What'll I do? Hold still. That should do it. ** DING DONG Funny how things work out.
Nutrition quiz, Garfield. Which vitamin does yor body need most? Grease. What is energy food? Meat that's still moving. What is the most important meal of the day? 4 A.M....a bag of chips and a bowl of dip.
Hey, Garfield, want to help me with my letter to Santa? Yeah, right... As if Santa hat the time to read every single... * BING A sleigh bell! ...and a catnip mouse, and a new dish, and a scratching post, and...
I remember Christmases back on the farm... Ohhhboy! Christmas eve everyone would gather around the tree and sing carols. Of course the cows would just hum along. Just a liiiittle more information than I needed.
Hi, Sandra. I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me on new year's ev Pardon? This is a wrong number? Oh, as well as I have you on the line, how would YOU like a hunky date for new year's? BOY, he had a high-pitched voice. Oop-sy.