Coming up on your right, ladies and gentlemen, the amazing "Stairway of Banana Peels"! - BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK - And now if you will pick up your teeth, we can move on the the remarkable "Closet of Falling Stuff"!
I can't stand the smell of this paint! Don't worry, the Bumsteads have invited us over to their house. - You mean we're moving to a different comic strip? Just until the paint dries. - Even for april fool's day this is ridiculous!
This book is about faithful pets, Garfield. - Pets who risked their lives to protect their owners. - You wouldn't be interested. What about the time I ate that hot pizza to save you from burning the roof of your mouth?
- Hey dipwad, time to feed the cat! - Take a moment out of your pathetic existence to care for your living pet, you dork! - - I...I guess I'll, uh...fix your dinner. - ZIP - And make it snappy, geek boy! I love this thing.
Now it's time to play "Name That Pain"! Listen carefully, contestants... - Ouch! Eeech! Yaaach! Yeeech! Oiiiieee! BZZZT - Pat, that's a guy who forgot to take all the pins out of his new shirt! I knew that one! Go figure.
Hmp! - Look at you, you lazy lump! - Get up! Move around! Exercise! - Go outside! Breathe some fresh air! - Go to the library! Read a book! - You're still sitting there, aren't you? Yup. - Goooood, I have trained you well.
- Beware Of The Dog - Seriously, This Dog Is Bad News! - All Right! All Right! I Don't Have A Dog! - I wanted A Dog, But Nooooo! "Too Stinky, Mother Said..." - Well, I'LL SHOW MOTHER! I'LL SHOW YOU ALL!!! - Beware Of The Man In The Dog Suit.
Hi, cat. Hi, tree. - Climb me. I don't know. That branch doesn't look very safe. - Try it and see. Oh, all right. - CRACK - SPLAT! - claw claw claw claw claw Ahhhhhhh - The things I'll do for a good back scratch.
- Well, Garfield, my head's stuck in a wastebasket... - My hands are caught in pickle jars... - And my date's coming ans minute? What'll I do? Hold still. - That should do it. - ** DING DONG - Funny how things work out.
Nutrition quiz, Garfield. Which vitamin does yor body need most? Grease. - What is energy food? Meat that's still moving. - What is the most important meal of the day? 4 A.M....a bag of chips and a bowl of dip.
- Hey, Garfield, want to help me with my letter to Santa? Yeah, right... - As if Santa hat the time to read every single... - * BING - - - A sleigh bell! - ...and a catnip mouse, and a new dish, and a scratching post, and...
- Okay, Garfield, go plug the tree lights in. - PLUG - Hmmm. Nothing. - I'd better check the connections. - click ZZZT - I absolutely MUST have the number of your stylist. I'm still not speaking to you.
I remember Christmases back on the farm... Ohhhboy! - Christmas eve everyone would gather around the tree and sing carols. - Of course the cows would just hum along. Just a liiiittle more information than I needed.
Hi, Sandra. I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me on new year's ev- Pardon? This is a wrong number? - Oh, as well as I have you on the line, how would YOU like a hunky date for new year's? - BOY, he had a high-pitched voice. Oop-sy.