I think I have it now, Garfield. - Yessss! - Darn! The man is screwing in a light bulb.
1 October 1997
You're planning to bite me, aren't you? - Why would you say that? - You put mustard on my hand! Let me have a closer look.
2 October 1997
Hope you didn't eat the meat loaf, Garfield. - It's been in the fridge for six months. - Anybody who eats that has only minutes left. Just enough time for dessert then.
3 October 1997
Sigh - Why not show some enthusiasm for life? - SIGH!
4 October 1997
tap tap tap BEWARE OF THE DOG - Sorry, cat, I can't bark at you today. Why not? - I have a sore throat. Hey, no problem! - Mom's home remedy will have you barking again in no time! Really? - First you take a bath towel and soak it with
5 October 1997
Garfield, I'm going to take some time to reflect on my life. - - Gee, that didn't take long. Like scuba diving in a shot glass.
6 October 1997
I can't breathe! - I'm passing out! - THUD! Better go back to the clip-on ties, Jon.
7 October 1997
I'm going for the record, Garfield. - Three hundred consecutive days without saying the word "beans"! - Darn. I wonder if there's a place to go to buy a life.
8 October 1997
Time to celebrate, Garfield! - It's Renaldo Smit's birthday...the father of stamp collecting! - The hot cocolate will flow tonight! I have the urge to perforate something.
9 October 1997
Life's not fair, Garfield. Let's be realistic. - Remember, you can't always get everything you want. - YOU can't. *I* can.
10 October 1997
I need to change my image. - - You have an image?
11 October 1997
Rats. - click click click click click - RATS - click click cli- - RATS - cli - ARRRGGHHH No one can lose at computer games faster than Jon.
12 October 1997
There's an exciting world out there! - - There had better be food on the front lawn.
13 October 1997
SHOVE - Heh, heh, heh. - Heh, heh, heh.
14 October 1997
These pants are very uncomfortable. - - Possibly because that's a shirt.
15 October 1997
GULP GOBBLE SNARF GULP - Every time I watch you eat, I lose my appetite. - He's onto me.
16 October 1997
I had nothing to do with it! - - THUD Timing, Garfield! Timing!
17 October 1997
I wonder if this coffee is any good? - I'll give it the "Dunk Test". - It's goooood.
18 October 1997
click - In the news... - Giant bugs invaded a television station today! - Giant, news-reading bugs. - Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat! - Giant, news-reading bugs, who are mildly amused by attempts to swat them with a magazine...ha,
19 October 1997
Help! Help! - This looks like a job for super dog! - WHACK! Flew into a fire hydrant.
20 October 1997
Jon wants me to watch this tape. click - Hi! Uh, this is Jon Arbuckle, and I'd like to present the Garfield Workout Video! - Z You're a funny man, Jon Arbuckle!
21 October 1997
- Why are you trying to change the channel with a candy bar? - BURP Uh-oh.
22 October 1997
Here comes the old slowpoke, Mister Three-Toed Sloth... - And who's this? Why, it's Mister Anaconda! - My, that don't take long! I'll bet they're darn tasty, too.
23 October 1997
Woof! Woof! - Just like a dog. - Uh, woof? Forgot his lines.
24 October 1997
I wonder if a visit from my little sock puppet buddy "Bubba" would liven things up around here. - - Not much occurs to Bubba.
25 October 1997
- poke poke Z - - - poke poke - -
26 October 1997
What are you supposed to be? - - I'm a cat with dark glasses and a fake arrow through his head, holding a rubber chicken, genius!
27 October 1997
Here's Doris Blasko, my high school sweetheart. - Doris was very mature for her age. - She was first in our class to have facial hair. Not every woman can wear mution chops.
28 October 1997
Hey! Where's the rest of my laundry? - Missing laundry, you say?! - This sounds like a job for...THE SOCK!
29 October 1997
You're wearing my socks! That's why they cal me "THE SOCK" - This is the worst! Not really... - Meet my sidekick, STINKY!
30 October 1997
Is there any crime that needs fighting around here? - No? - That's good, because I'm just a cat with a sock on my head.
31 October 1997