I'm proud of you, Garfield. You stuck to your diet, and actually lost a few pounds. I know. And I can't wait to find those suckers again!
1 March 1997
Sigh. Sigh. AHEM Sigh.
2 March 1997
You know wht the main difference is between you and me, Garfield? Intellect? I don't say "meow". Like I said.
3 March 1997
Now that I've put aluminium siding on Odie, We won't have to paint him!
4 March 1997
We're in a rut, Garfield. Maybe I should change your name. I'm going to call you "Bingo"! Bad Bingo! It's sounding better already.
5 March 1997
You must be one of those cats I've heard so much about. Am I supposed to be barking? Ahem...bark. First day on the job.
6 March 1997
I don't want to be disturbed! Jon't working on a jigsaw puzzle. Those two-piecers can be vicious.
7 March 1997
Jon say I never pay attention to him. Watch me prove how wrong he is. You did something with your hair, right, Jon?
8 March 1997
Hi, Mister Cat! I'm Jenny, from the spider scouts! And I'm selling spider scout cookies to rais emoney for my troop. We have mealworm mint wafers, mashed fly macaroons, and silverfish s'mores! So, how many boxes can I put you downfor? Is that a tiny bere
9 March 1997
10 March 1997
You can't do this to me! I demand the right to call my attorney! Now get me a telephone book, bozo! This is too easy.
11 March 1997
Know what? Life's just too short. SMACK Boy, the irony is so thick, you could cut it with a knife.
12 March 1997
Cat! smack Uh-oh. Bernie! Are you okay?! What can we do?! Subscribe to a bigger magazine.
13 March 1997
gobble munch smack gulp -
14 March 1997
Burp Big meal? You bet. A whole fly! What a pig.
15 March 1997
* dingle * dingle Uh-oh... SHOOM WHUMP! * dingle pant pant pant pant * pant pant pant * dingle * dingle YAAHH! * pant pant I'd say they've broken at least three city ordinances, right, Bubba? I didn't see nothin'. Let's gat adoughnut.
16 March 1997
I'm depressed, Garfield. After I'm gone, no one will care that I ever existed. Hey, cheer up, Jon. They don't care now.
17 March 1997
Z lap lap lap lap lap lap lap lap lap lap lap lap lap Jon! Odie's drinking of of the toilet again!
18 March 1997
Soon Jon's food will be mine! I at elunch early today. Oh, great! Now, what am I supposed to do with this sneaky expression?!
19 March 1997
Prepare for a stomping, daisy! Why don't you pick on someone your own size?! A daisy MY size? Hey, Luther! You want a piece of this, cat?!...C'mon! C'mon! Wake UP, Garfield...waaaake UP.
20 March 1997
Sad news from home, Garfield. "Dear son: your pet hog, Earl, has passed away." "Enclosed are some delicious sausage patties". Well, I'm through grieving. Let's eat!
21 March 1997
...and don't you forget it! You forgot it, didn't you? I forgot it before you finished saying whatever it was.
22 March 1997
Gaar-field. How about a kitty treat, Garfield? flip Sorry, only one treat per kitty. WHOP! Wow! FIVE kitties.
23 March 1997
Hello, Linda? ...Jon Arbuckle... OK, I'll wait. She's putting me on her answering machine. Ouch.
24 March 1997
Marsha, will you go out with me? Say yes and I'll be happier than a hog with a mouth full of slop. Hello?... Platitude Man strikes out again.
25 March 1997
Think of this way, Julie. Going out with me is better than a stick in the eye. Put the stick down, Julie. Never give'm options, Jon.
26 March 1997
I'm going to impress my date, Garfield. She'll see how neat and organized I am. I'm taking my sock drawer. The Binky the Clown socks should stay home.
27 March 1997
My date is in show business, Garfield. We met at the carnival. Tonight I dine with "Zelda, the Toad Woman". Don't forget to take a jar of flies.
28 March 1997
Garfield, I'm gonna slug down this root beer... Then I'm gonna go talk to that chick. BURP! CRETIN! Ah, love.
29 March 1997
Woo...that's even too much for ME...
30 March 1997
Garfield, how would you like breakfast in bed this morning? Sure. Fill 'er up!
31 March 1997