Cats are good. Cat hair is good. Hair balls are good. Hair balls are our friends. Sensitivity training.
1 May 1997
You WILL go out with me? All right! When? How long is a millenium? You'd better start getting ready.
2 May 1997
Jon forgot my fork. -
3 May 1997
Hey dipwad, time to feed the cat! Take a moment out of your pathetic existence to care for your living pet, you dork! I...I guess I'll, uh...fix your dinner. ZIP And make it snappy, geek boy! I love this thing.
4 May 1997
Look, Garfield! It's the 24-hour sock drawer channel! Welcome to "Darning for Dollars"! All right! I think I'll go dust off the radio.
5 May 1997
First we caress the meal with our eyes... Then we allow the scent to permeate the room... Then we shove our face in the plate and inhale! snort! grunt! gulp! I knew she'd crack.
6 May 1997
So one accountant says to the other, "you're so accrual, you don't depreciate me anymore!" Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! I don't get in. This has been "Inside Joke Theater". Figured.
7 May 1997
Now it's time to play "Name That Pain"! Listen carefully, contestants... Ouch! Eeech! Yaaach! Yeeech! Oiiiieee! BZZZT Pat, that's a guy who forgot to take all the pins out of his new shirt! I knew that one! Go figure.
8 May 1997
slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap -"Ninja Sissies" will return in a moment. Where's the remote?
9 May 1997
Welcome, th "Ed, the Wonder Ca-... CLICK ...the adventures of "Lothar: Mouse Warrior"! I hope those batteries wear down soon.
10 May 1997
Z You are accidentally locked inside a pasta factory. You are roaming by endless rows of grinders and sifters and cookers when... A familiar aroma beckons you. It's a huge, steaming vat of lasagna! You are seconds away from thegreatest feast in history! R
11 May 1997
Z Z Ever have a day when you just can't wake up? Z
12 May 1997
BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK Beware Of The Dog
13 May 1997
Garfield, I'm giving you a bad attitude award. Oh, great. What am I supposed to do with this stupid... Say, I AM good.
14 May 1997
We're being annoying in shifts.
15 May 1997
This is a personalized cologne, Garfield. They match your personality with just the right scent. It's called "Eau de Geek". Smells like a pocket protector.
16 May 1997
I worked on a jigsaw puzzle for eight hours. As it turned out, there was a piece missing. Small world. I worked on a puzzle for eight hours, and there were 499 pieces missing.
17 May 1997
clickety clickety clickety Sigh Time sure crawls when you're waiting for the pizza delivery guy.
18 May 1997
Look, Garfield! A new brand of kitty treats! They're shaped like little running mailmen. "Sugar sweetened civil servants," I like it!
19 May 1997
Garfield, if you're reeeeal good today... I'll give you a kitty treat. Hmmm. Looks like I have to maul him for the box again.
20 May 1997
YAAHHH HOOOOOOOOO New "lasagna flavored" kitty treats.
21 May 1997
Sorry, pal, we're out of kitty treats. I might pick some up when I find the time. Any coupons?
22 May 1997
A new goldfish! Wait! I'm not just any fish. I'm a magic fish. Yeah, right. Really! I can grant your fondest wish. Okay, I wish for some tartar sauce. He's not buying it.
23 May 1997
What have you got in your mouth, Garfield? Nothing. Garfield?! It's NOT one of those birds that looks kind of like a sparrow, but isn't. I forget what they're called.
24 May 1997
Hmp! Look at you, you lazy lump! Get up! Move around! Exercise! Go outside! Breathe some fresh air! Go to the library! Read a book! You're still sitting there, aren't you? Yup. Goooood, I have trained you well.
25 May 1997
Forget it, Garfield. You had lunch just an hour ago. Stop living in the past, Jon.
26 May 1997
Odie is chilly, so I'm going to help him put on socks. -
27 May 1997
That's me at the prom. Out theme was "Dairy Products for Strong Bones". I was voted "King of the Udders"! Nice costume.
28 May 1997
Garfield! Did you break this lamp? Only that bottom half there.
29 May 1997
It's fun time! Maybe the clock is slow.
30 May 1997
Laugh, and the worls laughs with you! Get a live, world!
31 May 1997