Cats are good. - Cat hair is good. Hair balls are good. - Hair balls are our friends. Sensitivity training.
1 May 1997
You WILL go out with me? All right! - When? - How long is a millenium? You'd better start getting ready.
2 May 1997
Jon forgot my fork. - -
3 May 1997
- Hey dipwad, time to feed the cat! - Take a moment out of your pathetic existence to care for your living pet, you dork! - - I...I guess I'll, uh...fix your dinner. - ZIP - And make it snappy, geek boy! I love this thing.
4 May 1997
Look, Garfield! - It's the 24-hour sock drawer channel! - Welcome to "Darning for Dollars"! All right! I think I'll go dust off the radio.
5 May 1997
First we caress the meal with our eyes... - Then we allow the scent to permeate the room... - Then we shove our face in the plate and inhale! snort! grunt! gulp! I knew she'd crack.
6 May 1997
So one accountant says to the other, "you're so accrual, you don't depreciate me anymore!" - Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! I don't get in. - This has been "Inside Joke Theater". Figured.
7 May 1997
Now it's time to play "Name That Pain"! Listen carefully, contestants... - Ouch! Eeech! Yaaach! Yeeech! Oiiiieee! BZZZT - Pat, that's a guy who forgot to take all the pins out of his new shirt! I knew that one! Go figure.
8 May 1997
slap slap slap slap slap slap - slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap -"Ninja Sissies" will return in a moment. Where's the remote?
9 May 1997
Welcome, th "Ed, the Wonder Ca-... CLICK - ...the adventures of "Lothar: Mouse Warrior"! - I hope those batteries wear down soon.
10 May 1997
Z - You are accidentally locked inside a pasta factory. - You are roaming by endless rows of grinders and sifters and cookers when... - A familiar aroma beckons you. - It's a huge, steaming vat of lasagna! - You are seconds away from the
11 May 1997
Z - Z - Ever have a day when you just can't wake up? Z
12 May 1997
BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK - BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK - Beware Of The Dog
13 May 1997
Garfield, I'm giving you a bad attitude award. - Oh, great. What am I supposed to do with this stupid... - Say, I AM good.
14 May 1997
- - We're being annoying in shifts.
15 May 1997
This is a personalized cologne, Garfield. - They match your personality with just the right scent. - It's called "Eau de Geek". Smells like a pocket protector.
16 May 1997
I worked on a jigsaw puzzle for eight hours. - As it turned out, there was a piece missing. Small world. - I worked on a puzzle for eight hours, and there were 499 pieces missing.
17 May 1997
- - - - clickety clickety clickety - Sigh - Time sure crawls when you're waiting for the pizza delivery guy.
18 May 1997
Look, Garfield! - A new brand of kitty treats! - They're shaped like little running mailmen. "Sugar sweetened civil servants," I like it!
19 May 1997
Garfield, if you're reeeeal good today... - I'll give you a kitty treat. Hmmm. - Looks like I have to maul him for the box again.
20 May 1997
- YAAHHH - HOOOOOOOOO New "lasagna flavored" kitty treats.
21 May 1997
Sorry, pal, we're out of kitty treats. - I might pick some up when I find the time. - Any coupons?
22 May 1997
A new goldfish! Wait! I'm not just any fish. I'm a magic fish. - Yeah, right. Really! I can grant your fondest wish. - Okay, I wish for some tartar sauce. He's not buying it.
23 May 1997
What have you got in your mouth, Garfield? Nothing. - Garfield?! - It's NOT one of those birds that looks kind of like a sparrow, but isn't. I forget what they're called.
24 May 1997
Hmp! - Look at you, you lazy lump! - Get up! Move around! Exercise! - Go outside! Breathe some fresh air! - Go to the library! Read a book! - You're still sitting there, aren't you? Yup. - Goooood, I have trained you well.
25 May 1997
Forget it, Garfield. - You had lunch just an hour ago. - Stop living in the past, Jon.
26 May 1997
Odie is chilly, so I'm going to help him put on socks. - -
27 May 1997
That's me at the prom. - Out theme was "Dairy Products for Strong Bones". - I was voted "King of the Udders"! Nice costume.
28 May 1997
Garfield! - Did you break this lamp? - Only that bottom half there.
29 May 1997
It's fun time! - - Maybe the clock is slow.
30 May 1997
Laugh, and the worls laughs with you! - - Get a live, world!
31 May 1997