Chicks likeintellectual guys. So I'm boning up on classic literature. "Here's Mr. Butterly, visiting Miss Daisy...." The man's reading a coloring book.
1 July 1997
Hey there, chicky-boo, chicky-boo-boo-boo. Tell me, are you obnoxious, or just plain stupid? That's for me to know, and for you to find out. Today we're stupid.
2 July 1997
So, Sarah, you don't care for my personality? Well, the joke's on you, Sarah! I don't have a personality! He's got her there.
3 July 1997
Do you believe in love at first sight? I have a brick in my purse. Must be a code.
4 July 1997
Sigh... Garfield, what is my purpose in life? To make others feel superior?
5 July 1997
AHHHH AHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
6 July 1997
See the lazy cat. See the lazy cat take a nap in the road. See the steamroller... WAKE UP, CAT!
7 July 1997
Hey...this isn't water... It's CHICKEN STOCK! There goes my sparrow gumbo.
8 July 1997
I'm training Odie to be a watchdog. Now Odie, if a burglar broke into the house, what would you do? That is correct! Make me a ham sandwich!
9 July 1997
Got my beach ball, got my fins, got my surfboard. EEK! I'll get your trunks.
10 July 1997
This lotion is supposed to prevent sunburn. Want some, Garfield? Nope. Don't need it. I could use some eyeholes, though.
11 July 1997
What do you think, Garfield? You're asking the wring guy, Jon. To a cat, a sandcastle is nothing more than an outhouse with turrets.
12 July 1997
What a great day! I hate going to the beach with Jon... HOT! HOT! HOT! HOT! HOT! HOT! SHARKS! RIPTIIIIIiiiiide TIDAL WAVE! He always has to be the center of the attention. WATER SPOUT!
13 July 1997
Gee, it seems a shame to wake him. Z But on the othe rhand... Z This oughta be a good show. Z
14 July 1997
Check out that cute girl over there! And check out her big boyfriend returning with ice cream! Actually, it's kind of refreshing.
15 July 1997
O-die! O-die! GARFIELD!
16 July 1997
That's it, Garfield. I've asked every girl on this beach out. And they all said no. Even the one with the hairy back? Even the one with the hairy back!
17 July 1997
This whole trip to the beach has been a complete failure! I didn't meet a single girl! pat pat There, there... YEOOW You'll always have your sunburn to keep you warm.
18 July 1997
Eww! A dead fish! A dead, stinky, smelly, disgusting fish. What's that smell?
19 July 1997
...5-4-3-2... chuffa chuffa chuffa chuffa chuffa chuffa -GULP! BURP chuffa chuffa chuffa chuffa chuffa chuffa The ol' 5:05, right on time.
20 July 1997
Run for your lives! There's a glacier headed this way! It'll be here in forty million years! Get out of the refrigerator, Garfield.
21 July 1997
Odie and I are going to take a walk. Bye! And don't change the locks again. Sure, blame the cat!
22 July 1997
Isn't nature thrilling, Garfield? Nature is boring. You're staring at the wall. Then your wallpaper is boring.
23 July 1997
I'm in a bad mood. Relatively speaking.
24 July 1997
Look, Garfield, I made a cheese sculpture! Very nice. Esoteric, yet piquant.
25 July 1997
I love the night. I sense the woodland creatures fleeing in terror before me. I hate the night.
26 July 1997
27 July 1997
I feel my primal instincts welling up from deep within my soul. I must return to my wild jungle roots! Call me a cab.
28 July 1997
BOO! I thought cats were supposed to be high-string. Gimme time. This is only my second cup.
29 July 1997
Here, kitty, kitty. Good kitty! Whoa, a surprise ending.
30 July 1997
Studies prove that cats DON'T always land on their feet. How's that limp, Jon? Keep away from me. I land on OTHER people's feet!
31 July 1997