1978 1979 1980 1981 1982 1983 1984 1985 1986 1987 1988 1989 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017
 
 


 
   
Garfield

It's a new year, Garfield! I resolve to be less geeky, and more sophisticated. ...he said as he blew chocolat emilk bubbles into his Binky the Clown mug.

1 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

How was YOUR new year's? I had a quiet evening at home. Wanna ask me how MINE was? No.

2 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

It's a new year. Yep. Well then, don't you think it's time to take the old calendar down, you big, fat idiot? Yep. Me and my big mouth. Yep.

3 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! Odie! Dinner is serverd! CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA GALLOP GALLOP GALLOP GALLOP GALLOP GALLOP GALLOP GALLOP CHUGGA GALLOP CHUGGA GALLOP CHUGGA GALLOP CHUGGA GALLOP screeee screeeeeee

4 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Last year was an okay year, Garfield. But this year is gonna be even better! OW! ...as Mister Spoon meets Mister Eye.

5 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie should spread his happiness around. KICK! Now there's happiness in the living room.

6 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Need a refill? No thanks. Mine should be back in a few minutes.

7 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm in an artistic mood! I'm going to paint a painting! Where to start? Cut off an ear.

8 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

RING! So, how's YOUR friday night going?

9 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder if I look like royalty in this crown. Nice hat, fat boy. The guillotine would be too swift for him.

10 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

GAR FI... ELD! KICK! Ooo...I bet that hurt. CRASH! Get well soon!

11 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

As a cat, I love to explore the unknown. Nothing behind me. That's enough exploring for today.

12 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, do a trick, and I'll give you a kitty treat. Can't you be normal? You've seen this one?

13 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Meow. Meow. Okay, what di I just say to you, Garfield? You said, "meow," you idiot.

14 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Look at all of this cat hair! HA! This one's a dog hair.

15 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon hasn't moved in hours. I'm pretending I'm a cat. If you weren't way over there, I'd hit you.

16 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm amazed that cats think balls of yarn are fun. That makes two of us.

17 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Nyah! Nyah! Nyah! Dog in a pickup truck.

18 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

A little to the left....a little more... And a teeny bit back to the right.... Okay, now come straight ahead slowly.

19 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie! You're going to be late for work! Go get 'em tiger! Why is Odie trying to start the car? I love that dog.

20 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

What's that thread? Sort of a souvenir. And where are the curtains? In that big by window in the sky.

21 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Crumbs! You know what that means, Garfield? Yes. There's a wounded donut somewhere around here.

22 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Listen to THIS, Garfield... "Are you breathing? Are you a mammal? Do you walk upright? I'm single and desperate. Call me at 555-2......" Oh, wait. That's MY ad. What the heck. Call. Maybe you'll get lucky.

23 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

My car won't start. Of course, that's better than yesterday, when it wouldn't STOP. You say that as if I could have been the only cat who could have tampered with your brakes.

24 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

All dressed up and no place to go. Mommy, look! It's the circus! No, dear. But that man is dressed like a clown! And there's one of those trained pigs! No, dear. It's just a man in a bad suit. WAAAH! And an overweight cat. WAAAH! -Excuse me, sir, would yo

25 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Coming up next, "The Cat: Nature's Perfect Predator". HA! What's with him?

26 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

FORE! thwock whock Looks like you hit into a hazard, Floyd. You don't know the half of it.

27 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Look! A banana cream pie! He's gone, isn't he?

28 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Someone has been stealing my chocolates. And I want to know who! You there!...with the zits!

29 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

'night. 'night. GARFIELD! -

30 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

What happened to you? I lost a contact lens. You're gonna have to return the salad bowl.

31 January 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, Garfield. We need to talk.

1 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Dark, rainy, depressing... We might as well go back to bed. I'm so happy I could cry.

2 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Savoring the moment.

3 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I wish Jon was here. I've had to annoy myself all day.

4 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

My grandfather was a wise man, Garfield. He put me on his knee and said, "Jon...! "You can't milk a dead cow." Sounds like gramps was a few corn dogs shy of a picnic.

5 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I'll have a hamburger, fries and a chocolate milkshake. Yes, sir. What would you like, Garfield? One of those boxes, right next to my bed.!

6 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Did you ever sneeze when you had a mouthful of crackers?

7 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

click John... Marsha... Oh, John. Oh, Marsha. John, John, John. Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. John, John, John John. Marsha, Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. CLICK George... Shirley...

8 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, Garfield... I like women who are impressed with my intellect. So you're saying you like really stupid women.

9 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, Tami, it's Jon Arbuckle. You're supposed to turn me down AFTER I ask you out. She wanted to get right to the good part.

10 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

So, Bernadette, how about dinner and a movie? ...lunch and a bike ride? A cookie and a crossword puzzle?! Toaster crumbs and a knock-knock joke?

11 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

beep boop beep Watch and learn, Garfield. Hi, Linda? It's Jon. Oh, PLEASE don't hang up on me! Oh, please oh please oh please oh PLEEEZE. Class dismissed.

12 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

You like your men to be macho? I'M macho! Except when I get the giggles. click. click

13 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Have you seen the flowers I bought my date? Ate 'em. And the candy? Ate it. And jewelry? Hocked it. Bought more flowers and candy.

14 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Garfield, wake up, time for bed. Z * SMACK

15 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

A foot of snow fell today. But, it was concentrated in a very small area. Figures.

16 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Hot chocolate? Is it any wonder I keep him around?

17 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

zzzzzzz Know why cats love sliding on ice? SSSSHHHHHHH Built-in chains.

18 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! Why is there a snowman in my bed?! Why, it must be his nap time.

19 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

pat pat pat Z

20 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm very sorry. sir. Please apologize to little Timmy for me. It won't happen again. Oh, Garfield. About your hobby...

21 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

pat pat pat Hmmm... WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! Can we talk? Can we talk?

22 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

* DING DONG Time for the mail. SPLOT GARFIELD! Would you like to sign for that, sir?

23 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

pat pat Poor Garfield. He doesn't stand a chance against me. For *I* have the element of surprise. He'll never know what hit him.

24 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

You throw that snowball at me, and you can kiss this dinner goodbye. KISS

25 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

SHOONK GAAAAHHHHHHH Two olives, a carrot, an ice cube tray, a little snow, and it's fun time.

26 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Very cute. What do you call it? SPLOT A clever ruse.

27 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I give up! YOu win the snowball fight! I'm no match for you...let's stop this right now! Okay. * TWANG Just give me a minutes to unhook my booby traps. SPLOT SPLOT SPLOT SPLOT SPLOT YAAAH!

28 February 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

STOMP weeeeeeeeeee weeeeeeeeeee -

1 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Z SLURRRP! Are you getting up this morning, Garfield? Wake me up when dogs are extinct.

2 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to commune with nature. Fine. I'll stay in and commune with the throw rug.

3 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Ha! Ha! Look at those floppy ears! Look at those droopy jowls! And look at that reach.

4 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Stop me if you've heard this one. An ostrich walks up to a farmhouse with a monkey under his wing... Heard it.

5 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Big date tonight, Garfield. RIP! RIP! It must be. He's using the "good" magazine cologne samples. pat pat

6 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Nobody understands me. You're a selfish pig. But, what do I know?

7 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

RIIINNG * Hello, Jon? It's Lisa. What time are you picking me up tonight? BUURRP * ...got a date with an angel... Not anymore.

8 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

You should learn to appreciate the beauty of the great outdoors. Good idea. Put the skylight there.

9 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I'll go out and work hard, while you just lie there and do nothing. I'm being sarcastic. But that doesn't mean it's not a good idea!

10 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm thinking about going off to seek adventure! Or maybe adventure can come here. I hope it calls first instead of just popping in.I owe Odie an apology. PUSH CRASH! Now I owe him two.

11 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I just thought of something for us to do. SMACK I just thought of something for me to do.

12 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, there's a mouse in the kitchen. Tell him to bring me a sandwich. Well? Garfield, you're fired! And hold the mayo.

13 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I ate so much I can't move. Which is the only reason I stopeed eating.

14 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Glacier impression.

15 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD! What do you call this?! I call that "backscratcher avec cat hair".

16 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you want to go for a walk, Odie? Do you? Yip! Yip! Do you, huh?! Yip! Well, don't be gone long.

17 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I started without you.

18 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Guess your weight? Sure. You're fat. Now step on and we'll see if I'm right. Hm...two insults for the price of one.

19 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Here comes the ferocious cat! muss muss muss muss muss * DINGDONG His date is here and I hid his comb!

20 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I know Garfield! I'll stuff my mouth full of bananas... Then you tickle me! We are the bored.

21 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

bzzzzzzz EEEEEEYAAAHHH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SMACK WHOP SMASH KSSSHHH bzzzz EEEYAAAAHHHH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH KSS SMASH CRASH! CRUNCH Obsessive behavior is not a pretty thing.

22 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

* DING DONG ? Why didn't I think of that sooner?

23 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

pant pant pant zzzzzzzz

24 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I'll lure that fly closer by putting on this mask. Here, fly. SWAT Bad dog!

25 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

So, you want a housefly bumped off? Let's talk... I work alone and my take is fifty percent. Do it quickly and you can have the whole fly. Hey, Guido likes what Guido hears!

26 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Whatever happened to that annoying fly? BURP Excuse me. Ask question, get answer.

27 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

SWAT! bloop

28 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, cat! Hi, tree. How about a climb up the new, improved me? How so? It's spring! I have al new bark... Uh-huh. All new branches...all new leaves... Uh-huh...uh-huh. All new baby bird nests... And the same old lies. HEY!

29 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's something you never stop to think about... Do you realize that one-seventh of your life is spent on monday? Ptooey! Now the inside of my outh is all black! Newsprint will do that.

30 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

(null)

31 March 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Somebody put dish detergent in the mouthwash bottle. You wouldn't know anything about this, would you? Whoa... Well?! I can see myself in your teeth.

1 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Iced ketchup isn't so bad. I think we've put off shopping just a little too long, haven't we?

2 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, it's friday night and I have places to go! I'm not here! I'm off doing something exciting! Try hiding behind the curtains. That will fool me.

3 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Ah! The first flower of spring! GULP! Now let's find that first robin.

4 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay...make it good. HELLLLP! ROWWRRR! SCREEEEE There's no escaping this time, mouse! BRAVO! Thank yew Thank yew Too much, really.

5 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Cats are mysterious creatures. Years ago, somebody lost the operator's manual.

6 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I only shed one hair this afternoon. But I had a busy morning.

7 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, no! I'M using the cat brush! Gee, I don't yell when I use his toothbrush.

8 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Look at that cat hair! What are YOU upset about? I'M the one it seems to be following.

9 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

You look full, Garfield. You must have been out hunting. Out there stalking your prey. I slashed the tires on a donut truck.

10 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

How's it going? Oh, great! You broke my concentration! Now I'll have to start shedding all over again!

11 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Breakfast! Lunch. Yawn. scratch scratch

12 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

BRRIIIINNG SMASH! I hate mornings. I'm not too crazy about 'em, either.

13 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Could you possibly be more annoying? I had to ask.

14 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, fatso, you're standing in my light! Move it, blubber-bottom...NOW! Smatter, are you fat AND deaf?! Yeees, it's stomping time.

15 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Where's my pie?! That's the fifth one this week! Hey, there's a tunnel down here! Rats.

16 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

You're breaking our date? But I already have a reservation at "Hank's House o' Heifers". Sure...I understand. No, Garfield.

17 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

It takes a skill to properly eat an ice cream cone. It takes balance. And good cone-to-mouth coordination. I can't see!

18 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, big, orange, and ugly! I'm not afaid of you! SMACK! What're you trying to do....tickle me?! SMACK SMACK SMACK ....is that the best you can do, tubbo?! SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK Herb, are you okay?! Say something! Thatassertiveness training semin

19 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I cut my finger on your cat food can. It was awful. I bled a lot, and I nearly fainted. But you got the can open, right?

20 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm not cutting my fingers on cat food cans anymore! Drom now on it's cat food in a BAG! OW! Paper cut.

21 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I had this shirt on inside out all day, but nobody noticed. Jon, I'm sure everybody noticed. pat pat Nobody CARED.

22 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Did you push my bed out the window?! Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you.

23 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

SLASH! -

24 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I had an ice cream cone today. Not long enough to eat it, of course! Get over it.

25 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Yes, Garfield... Somewhere out there is the girl for me! I get the point!

26 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I have both arms in the same sleeve. I think it's best to keep walking.

27 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

One thing wrong with dogs: YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! No on/off switch. YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP!

28 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't BELIEVE how terrible this dinner tastes! GULP! Nice try.

29 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't you dare eat me! Nobody /burp) likes a pushy guppy.

30 April 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

TWANG! THOT! Ha! Missed again! That's four! Now it's my turn to be William Tell. Ahhhh, friday night.

1 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

plip bzzzzzzzz Fly paper.

2 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

bip beep boop Hi, Ann? It's Jon Arbuckle. Remember me from high school? We were in math an english together, Uh, yes, I was the one who used to run down the halls screaming, "Ann, Ann, She's A MAn". Well...I was wondering if you'dlike to go out

3 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

This is my new college intern, Biff. Is there something I should be doing? You've got a lot to learn about being a cat, Biff.

4 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, college intern Biff, do you know what a cat is supposed to do with a ball of yarn? Knit a sweater and sell it to buy food? Wow, and I was just guessing. I'm starting to like this kid.

5 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Remember, Biff, a cat can't do too little. I'm sorry. I wasn't listening. Attaboy.

6 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

What should I do now, sir? Go practice your menacing glare. I'll get right on it, sir. You do that. Who are you, and what do you want? Fear me, sir.

7 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Ah, the fragile fluorescent butterfly... What can be said about the beautiful butterfly? Tastes like chicken?

8 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm expecting an important call. Dinner! Bingo!

9 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, how many cards? Three. ...and the dealer takes one. I'll be two... Call, and raise. I'll yell at him after he stops winning.

10 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

schlurp ZOING Just how many scoops did you use?! Scoops?

11 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Thanks for the use of your pen. Too bad it ran out of ink. -

12 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

One minute I'm freezing, the next I'm burning up. I think I'll go lie down. Fun with the thermostat.

13 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

What happened to that last piece of pie I was saving? You're cute when you're stupid. pat pat

14 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, it's friday night and Jon doesn't have a date. Know why? Do there wax lips make me look sexier? Duh...

15 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Nothing lasts forever. Except whatever is in the back of the refrigerator.

16 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I hear footsteps. Here comes the cat. Hey, fatso! We're not afraid of you! We've got you outnumbered! United we stand! Right, pal? bzzzzzzzing! Pal? SMACK! You all right? Go fly into a windshield.

17 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, all you think about is food. Me, I'm reading a book. "Moby Dick". We're out of Tartar Sauce.

18 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't want to be disturbed. You got it. I'll stand lookout.

19 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

The ghost crept closer and closer... Suddenly, it...GRABBED HIM! AIEEE! That part always scares him.

20 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

This book is about a very brave man. He can't be braver than you, Jon. My dinner is five minutes late.

21 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

This was our annual school pageant. "A salute to area livestock growers". I was the happy pig boy. He tells people these things.

22 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's a cat who can predict earthquakes. Why can't you do something like that? I once slept through an earthquake.

23 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle ZZZT Hee hee hee. shuffle shuffle shuffle STOMP

24 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

RING! Whew! There's nothing worse than waking up from a bad dream. RIINNG Unless it's waking up to a bad reality.

25 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

The tail bone's connected to the face bone.

26 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, Garfield...I'm not your butler. I know. Butlers get paid.

27 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

BARK BARK BARK BARK Is that all you can do? * A little black dog sat on the porch and Bingo was his name... * If I let him bite me, maybe he'll quit.

28 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Hiya, fatboy! STOMP! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Hiya, lefty.

29 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to climb up on the roof to replace a shingle. Wanna help? Sure. I'll call the ambulance.

30 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

clac clac clac Ah. AH AH! chew chew chew

31 May 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

On with the show! Off with the show!

1 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

You're my kind of crowd! One with a lousy aim!

2 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Are there any requests? Yeah, hit yourself in the face with a brick! Any requests from a non-dog?

3 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, you're a beautiful crowd! I love ya. I mean it. Oh. There you are.

4 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

The audience is gazing upon me with rapt attention! Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Or sleeping with their eyes open.

5 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Thanks for coming! You've been a great crowd! Didn't wake up one.

6 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Hear ye, knave! Grovel before the Mighty Rubber Chicken! Get lost! You have offended the chicken! I'm gonna burn that thing. His fate is sealed! Know the wrath of the chicken! WHACK! May I see that? The Mighty Chicken senseshostility!

7 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

You look cheerful this morning. I do? That's weird...I'm in a TERRIBLE mood... C'mon face...get with the program!

8 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

BEWARE OF THE SHAGGY DOG Ha! Ha! Ha! You look like a big, stupid mop! That IS a big, stupid mop.

9 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to close my eyes, when I open them, I don't want to see your ugly face. If I laugh, I'll only encourage him...

10 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you know what my dinner could use? More cat hair? Less cat hair! I figured it was one or the other.

11 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I heard you've got a birthday coming up, cat. Yep. Number twenty. Want me to cut that up for you?

12 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

So you're gonna be twenty? I don't want to talk about it. Have you tried denial? What's so great about denial? Cheaper than wrinkle cream, pal. Go away.

13 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

All right! You don't have to remind me! I know I have a birthday coming!

14 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

You look down, cat. My birthday is coming up, scale. How many years? Twenty. Wow. Old AND fat.

15 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, great...just who I DON'T need to see. Why? If you must know, I'm having a birtday soon. I thought it smelled "old" in here. Where's Nermal? Out getting some fresh air.

16 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

You have to calm down, Garfield. You're obsessed with getting older. poink! A GREY HAIR! Welcome, brother. We've been expecting you.

17 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Happy, birthday, cat! Here's your present. I wrapped it myself. So I see.

18 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, it's time to look back, and take stock... Time to count my blessings... Happy 20th birthday, Garfield! Time to start lying about my age.

19 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

BEWARE OF THE DOG OUT OF ORDER

20 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

This is a dull day. WHO'S READY TO HAVE FUN? WE COULD SORT LAUNDRY! CLEAN OUT THAT AREA UNDER THE SINK! MAYBE EVEN TIE OLD NEWSPAPERS INTO A BUNDLE! And there's a lot to be said for dull.

21 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I made your coffee the way you like it. Hang on. Okay, pour away.

22 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

KICK! qssssshhhhhhh Decoy. sssssss

23 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I've been working to improve my memory. So, how's it going? I've been working to improve my memory. So, how's it going?

24 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Today's the big, Garfield... Today we change the light bulb in the refrigerator! I'm masking my indifference with a veneer of detachment.

25 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

* RIIINNG May I speak to the moron of the house? Could you be more specific?

26 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Even though I'm not very hungry, I guess I ought to eat a little something. CHOMP CHOMP GOBBLE SNARF GULP GULP GULP chomp Burp...just to keep up my strength.

27 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

BOOT! pssshhhh BOOT! Uh, Garfield?

28 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

click click click click click Rats! The channel changing button is stuck! click click click click click click click click click click sAAaaay....

29 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

The All-Cat Channel presents "The Budget Chef"! Today: How to make your rat last a whole week! That stew has whiskers. And only three grams of fat!

30 June 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

The All-Cat Channel presents "The Piece of Dangling String Show"! -

1 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Here, a pride of lions prepare to gorge themselves. They roar in triumph over their prey. Now we see them pass out linen napkins and finger bowls. Sissies!

2 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, Cecile, my darling...I love you Madl-Mad-MAAAAAACCK! And I love you, Reginald! With all my hear...hear-HAAAARRRK! HAAAACK! HAAARRK! Hairball theatre.

3 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

click . "CLICK" YOURSELF! How was TV tonight? Touchy.

4 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Walking against the wind. Trapped in a box. Leaning against nothing. Oh, Garfield. Yes? Have you seen my New Mongolian mime fish? I caught his dinner show. You have rogue on your teeth.

5 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

THUD Too lazy to walk around me, right? You'll move one of these days.

6 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Cat in the WASTEBASKET! That game doesn't last very long, but it IS fun!

7 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Need any help? Thanks, Jon. Now I'll finish in half the time.

8 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm taking Odie for a walk. Couldn't find a leash.

9 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Why do you have a tail? Jon, Jon, Jon. It keeps me from tipping over.

10 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

You know what I could use? Three gallons of strawberry macadamia nut ice cream? Some time alone. More for me.

11 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

STOP! Don't come any closer, or I'll jump! Don't do it, Huey! You have so much to live for! It's me, your wife Greta...and your forteen seedlings! NYEH... Your mom and dad are here, too, along with your minister and the entire churchchoir... EHHH And all

12 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Life has its ups and downs. I have ups! I didn't say anything.

13 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

chew chew chew chew chew chew chew chew chew chew chew Will you swallow?! Only if there's more food. chew chew chew chew chew

14 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie is going to bury his bone! Odie, Odie, Odie...

15 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

My back itches. SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT Better? A little more to the left.

16 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon told me not to overdo it today. By the waa, I was being sarcastic. Too late. Once my not overdoing momentum's built up, it's hard to stop.

17 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I read to improve my mind. More ooks! I need more books! Are you trying to tell me something?

18 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Musta been that bad can of tuna last night.

19 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't seem to get anything done lately. Me neither. No matter how hard I try. What a concept!

20 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

You have a few character flaws, Garfield. Why thank you, Jon. One of them is thinking insults are compliments. WHOA! Thanks again!

21 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't bother me while I'm reading. You know you didn't mean that.

22 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

We need more starch.

23 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Zero. Still zero. How are the sit-ups going? Darn! You made me lose count!

24 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

It's kick-Odie-across-the-room day! BOOT! Also known in some cultures as "saturday".

25 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Drive thru! Drive thru! I see it, I see it. May I help you? Two Happy Burgers and two fries, please. Would you like a Happy Burger today? Yes, I want two Happy Burgers. Any fries with that? Yes, two fries! O.KK, how about some HappyBurgers? Ain't technolo

26 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder what's going to happen to me THIS monday? THUD Cool! A sinkhole, right here in the kitchen.

27 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I like to think of myself as a macho guy. Good for you! I like to think of myself as skinny.

28 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD! I don't recall you applying for a permit to build a bay window...

29 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, get the paper please. Herman Stinks! You need to have a word with that mouse across the street.

30 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you know what I'm going to do to impress my date tonight, Garfield? WAIT! glug glug Didn't want it to come squirting out of my nose.

31 July 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

BURP When did we last have kielbasa?

1 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Stay tuned! click And now... click Coming up next... click Presenting... click Here's... click Welcome to... click Anything good on? click How should I know?

2 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

...and so life in Happy Meadow returned to normal for everyone. Except for Larry the Squirrel. Who was eaten by the cat. I love a happy ending!

3 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

This soup lacks something. Hmmm... A can opener?

4 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I've made a few mistakes in my life. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Like looking to you for sympathy, for instance.

5 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Strange. This is a picture of me taken when I was considering a career in medical research. That explains the white rat suit.

6 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

You can't intimidate me, Garfield. No matter how hard you try. And, I'm guessing you aren't trying really hard.

7 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome to the show! ZIP thud! That was our big finish, dummy!

8 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh What a nice sunset. Garfield! Dinner! snap! snap! No! Forget it! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! I said no, and I MEANT no! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! ERRRGGHHH You don't train cats...cats train you. Willthat be all, sire?

9 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Remember me? SMACK! You do look familiar.

10 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

BRIIIING Danny! What happened to you? WHAAAAT?

11 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield... Like it? Bagged him in the bathroom.

12 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

We spiders can grow to be pretty old. Guess how long I'M gonna live. C'mon, c'mon... Is this getting easier, or are spiders just getting stupider?

13 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Spare my life and I'll do anything for you! Anything? ANYthing! -

14 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

zip smack! Good work, Guido. Here's your fly. Hey! The deal was for TWO flies!

15 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

What a beautiful morning! Who needs shoes on a day like this? Yesiree, Garfield, there's nothing like the feel of fresh cool gradss on your fee Hey! There are ANTS in this grass! Ow! Ow! Owie! Ow! A garden snake! YAAAAH! HOT! HOT!HOT! HOT! GAAH! GUM! Sha

16 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

As the master of the house, I get to tell you what to do. Fair enough. And as the cat of the house, I get to ignore you.

17 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

munch munch Salad? Wht am I, a rabbit?

18 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

All right, you caught me...now what? Uh, I don't remember. We could sing a song. MEOW ** MEYOW SQUEEK SQUEEK * ** I don't even want to know.

19 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Fido, here's your final "Pet Quiz" question. How much is one plus one? woof, woof... Woof? Dogs?

20 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, Susan, would you like to go to a movie? Well then how about just getting married? I hope you won't scream like that in front of the kids. He's scaring ME.

21 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

It's wonder dog! Flying through the air... Searching out evil wherev... SMACK! Hard to do from the windshield of a 747. Turn the wipers on, Doug.

22 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, I'll bite. So why do you want to go to the north pole, Garfield? Birds. flap flap flap flap flap ZIP In tuxedos. PUNT Who can't fly. I'll make the reservations.

23 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Ha! I'll bet my day was more boring than yours! Sure, you had to spend it with YOU.

24 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you know what words I live by? I give up. Well, am I right?

25 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, Garfield... I believe you've stopped shedding. Yo! Jon! Over here!

26 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Ha, ha, ha. Stop it, you're killing me. Ha, ha, ha. That's a good one. Are you ready to hear my joke? Hang on. Ha, ha, ha.

27 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you think it's warm enough for these shorts? Let me put this as delicately as I can, Jon. If we were on the surface of the SUN it wouldn't be warm enough for those shorts.

28 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, how about the saturday after that? How about the saturday after that? How about the saturday after that? How about the saturday after that? tap tap Yes? Earth to Jon...

29 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

ffft ROWR WOOF! Woof? Arf? ...ruff? Bow-wow? Yip? Rowf? Roof? Dumb dog. BARK!

30 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm in a bad mood, and the world will have to suffer the consequences. I think the world is hiding.

31 August 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Question, Garfield. Shoot. Did you take my butterscotch flounder souffle? Nope. I just borrowed it.

1 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Nothing brightens a room better than flowers. Have you tried turning on the light?

2 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I wish I had a motto. That's it! "I wish I had a motto". Catchy.

3 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't throw that brick at me. No problem. And don't drop it on my foot. NOW we have a problem.

4 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I worked hard all day and now I'm tired. Poor Jon. You know, it's possible to get tired without all that hard work.

5 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

ALL RIGHT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! At the moment, making you nuts.

6 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Just look at you. Life is passing you by, Garfield. Make sure it shuts the door on the way out.

7 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

FIRE! -

8 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Every cat has two sides...lazy and spunky. Sadly, "spunky" is no longer with us.

9 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

You haven't moved for hours. At least give me a sign that you're still breathing. Z

10 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, why don't you get up and do something?! YAAHH! Don't ever do that again! I can't win.

11 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

squeek squeek I get it! Ha, ha, ha!

12 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, you! Yes? I'm "Jitters" the coffee bean! This has to be a bad dream. This is what you get for drinking coffee before bed! Woo! Woo! Woo! Pretty scary, huh? Uh...yeah. Why don't you just percolate on along now? Oh, a wise guy,huh?! O.K. Mugs

13 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I have something for you, Garfield. It's the Golden Slop Through Award! Congratulations. I'd like to thank all the little slobs.

14 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie was chasing his tail. * Now he's trying to lull it into a false sense of security.

15 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I've just been talking to this tree stump. It's better company than you are. You two have more in common.

16 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm wearing a new cologne, Garfield. It's called "Canadian Love Call". They say it really, really works. But, did you read the fine print?

17 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I think I'll take a walk. Me too. Well, let's go. I thought we were just thinking it.

18 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

No, I understand...get well soon. Ever girl I've asked out is sick. What a coincidence. The lights are on, but nobody's home.

19 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Where is he? Gaaar-field! GARFIELD! GAAR-FIELD! Do I hear a "pleeeeease"? pant pant pant

20 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going out into the woods to commune with nature! Are you coming along? That won't be necessary. I'm sending nature a postcard.

21 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Would you like to go on a nature hike? Couldn't we get flowered wallpaper instead?

22 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, we're going outside. No way. We'll walk in the woods. I SAID I'm not going. We're going bird watching. I'll get my dart gun.

23 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, good-looking. She called me good-looking! Hello, good-looking. Now she's talking to a tree.

24 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Look over there, Jon! As you can see, there are cats much fatter than I am. Oink. I'm sure he meant to say "meow".

25 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

You can't improve on nature. You're right, Jon. Unless we put a hot dog stand right over there.

26 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Uh, Garfield... Uh-oh, he suspects something. Quick, do something cat-like and endearing to distract him. pssst pssst MEYOOO I still smell meatloaf.

27 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

"My Owner's A Dork"? That has better be a TEMPORARY tattoo!

28 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Boys, I think it's time for a hug. That's the way.

29 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh... Only Jon would carry around the picture of the girl that came with the wallet.

30 September 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm contemplating my place in the universe. May I use that line next time I'M goofing off?

1 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

You don't want to go out tonight? How about I come over and serenade you? I thought bazookas were illegal. Aim for the banjo, lady!

2 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Good night, alarm clock! I'll see you in the morning! Me and Mr. Mallet I'll be sleeping in.

3 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

SMACK! The simple pleasures are the best ones.

4 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Chase that mouse! Jon wants me to chase you. Tough. Well?! How do I get into these things? Tell him mice have rights! smack!

5 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

veeeeeeee ....gggrrrrrrr How come WE don't have an electric coffee grinder?!

6 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

An invisible mouse! Cats are so strange. You said it, pal.

7 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

nok nok Mouse...you home? Yeah, I'm down in the cellar. Cellar? -

8 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Wow. Yeah. What a view! Sir, would you mind? Sigh click

9 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

There's no peace around here. You wake up from a nice nap. And somebody's teased your tail. hee hee hee

10 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm giving the bride away. GARFIELD!

11 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's have som efun! Any ideas? Oh, I thought this was it.

12 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie, you shouldn't stand so near the edge! PUSH You'll be much safer down there.

13 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

RING! Hello? No, this isn't Zontar, King of the Pig People. Strange call. No time to visit. I'm headed to my lodge meeting.

14 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I got a letter form my brother. It's in secret code, just like when we were kids. What's it say? "Whoever reads this is a poo-poo head". They've come so far.

15 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I now have an answering machine, an E-Mail address... ...a cel phone, AND a pager... For anyone who wants me. Jon, there's a fatal flaw in you premise, here.

16 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

If you wad up a whole bunch of donuts into one clump, it's like you're not having very many! Jon, can you help me pick this up?

17 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

How was your day, Jon? I removed this thread from my car seat. ...and the entire car collapsed in a heap. My teeth caught fire while I was brishing them this moring. The elecric comapny called. Even though I paid the bill, they'regoing to shut off our po

18 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Someday, instead of just sitting there... You'll all be interacting with your televisions! Who came up with that stupid idea?

19 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

The All-Cat Channel presents "Cooking with Catnip". And now your host, chef Fluffy WHOOO-PEEE! I think Chef Fluffy's been raiding the ol' pantry.

20 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome to "Moo Like Fred". Moo moo moo moo click You gotta be kidding! Welcome to "Cluck like Chuck".

21 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

The All-Cat News Channel presents... Tonight's round table debate... "Liver or Tuna?" Ooo, this could get ugly.

22 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

(null)

23 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

You think you're so big and bad...that remote control doesn't scare me! Oh, yeah? Well, then how about... This?! A BOOK! YAAAHHH!

24 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

sweep sweep sweep sweep sweep sweep sweep sweep sweep sweep STOMP Oh, where's the compassion?! You want compassion? Rent "Bambi"!

25 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome, spider, to my humble home. Why, thank you! kick back and relax, my friend. Hey! You're not the big fat jerk the other spiders say you are! Oh, and sign our guest book. WHAP

26 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Nothing exciting ever happens to me. SMACK Not that that's a bad thing.

27 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's be friends! Okay. SMACK! That's how I treat my friends, pal.

28 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Boo! YAAAHH! Where's my fly? I owe you.

29 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm back! SMACK! Did you mis sme? Believe it or not, no.

30 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Somebody close that window!

31 October 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic HIC HIC HIC HIC HIC hic HIC hic HIC HIC HIC HIC hic Whew... hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hichic hic hic hic hic hic

1 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

hic hic hic hic hic hic HICCITTY HICCITTY HICEY-HICKEY HUC-HUC HUC HUC ICCITTY HUC HUC HUC HUC ICCITTY Freestyle hiccupping.

2 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

They say scaring a person cures the hiccups. hic hic hic hic BOO! HIC

3 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm sick of these hiccups...I wish they'd just disappear. hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic I'm sick of this dog...

4 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder if getting a tattoo would make me more macho? A tattoo? Aren't you the guy who screams when he clips his toenails?

5 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Dull, dull, dull. This isn't a hat! It's a beehive! Weird, weird, weird.

6 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

My date hit me on the head with her purse. Not hard, though. And it was sort of a glancing blow... Do I hear wedding bells?

7 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Are we there yet, papa? Fleas! There it is, my friends...the big cat. It is a stable land...the beast seldom moves. We will settle here, build our homes and raise our young. We will plant crops. We ill sing and dance! We willstart a volunteer fire depart

8 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Second, third, fourth... Cute, cute, cute... Fifth, sixth... Cute, cute... Seventh grade... WHOA!

9 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

That's Mary and Denny and me. They were elected king and queen of the prom. I was the court jester. Sir Dweeb.

10 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Lorna Grubsky, my school sweetheart. Her parents ended our relationship. They said I would grow up to be dull. The Grubskys were prophets.

11 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Looking at this old photo album sure makes me nostalgic, Garfield. Sigh. I'll call her "Cousin Suzy". I hate it when he goes to rummage sales.

12 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

See the cow. See the cow being milked. Now what have you learned? Steak comes with a free beverage?

13 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder if time travel will ever be possible. I hope so. Then I'll be able to come back and avoid this conversation.

14 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, cat! You'd better watch your step tonight! I brought along my buddy, Ricky Roach! You mess with me, and you'll have to answer to the rickster, here. click skitter skitter skitter ZING! STOMP! Sorry, the light hurts my eyes.Come closer, and I'll hurt

15 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I feel creative today. Yup, I feel the need to express myself. But I can't do that now, can I?! I ate his paste.

16 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

It's "National Pretend-You're-Not-Stupid Day".

17 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

When Jon has a bad hair day, he wears a hat. Must be having a bad FACE day.

18 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

We should be thankful for this meal. Some of us should, anyway.

19 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Must you watch while I eat? You call that eating?! Your chewing rhythm is way out of sync! Go away. No, no! The fork angle is all wrong!

20 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, it's not fair that I sit here tonight... And out there are thousands of women... Who will never know the thrill of my company. Unfair yet merciful.

21 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to the kitchen. Want me to bring you anything? Uh...no thanks. sklish sklish sklish BURP sklish sklish sklish sklish I think I just had an out-of-stomach experience. Hey! Where's the olive loaf?!

22 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, scale. Greetings, you chubbiness! It's that time of year again. Time to rotate your cellulite? Time to change your batteries. Hey there, Skinny!

23 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

AWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWW ? WWWWWWWWWWW

24 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Weight? Sure. Fat. Rats. Same ol' Same ol'

25 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

STOMP! Ow, and ick.

26 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

AIE-YI-YI! WHOO-EEE! WHOA, MOMMA! Get me a hammer.

27 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Shields are down forty percent, captain! Hull breach on decks four and five! I hate you. Man the escape pods...I repeat...

28 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, no... bzzzzz zzzzzz Land. zzzzzz Land, land, land, land... Land, land, land, land, land, land, land, land... zzzt Cough zzzzz -

29 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Cats are mysterious creatures. squeak squeak And scary.

30 November 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie is on the trail of whoever stole his food. I've been expecting you.

1 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

MEYARRRRP! Cats can make some very strange sounds. Combination meow, yawn and burp!

2 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

? Christmas is coming. -

3 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Dear Santa, I am writing this for my cat. He would like you to bring him ten thousand pizzas. Anything else? And an antacid table.

4 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

You ate the ENTIRE BOWL of hard candy?! rattle rattle rattle.

5 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

? Okay, here we go....aaannnd... CRAAASH! Okay, okay, I know what I did wrong...let's try that again... WHUMP! KSSSHH! All right, wise guy...you're gonna stand up or else!! FUMP CRASH! AAARRRGGHH Christmas tree: 3 Jon: 0

6 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Merry Christmas, son. Love, mom and dad. And the cow, and the chicken, and the horse... ...and the pig, and the other cow... Wake me when you get past the bull.

7 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

slam! That gift-wrapping girl down at the mall sure was cute. Did you talk to her? He talked to her.

8 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Merry Christmas, you cappucino-sippin', biscotti-munchin'.... soft-bellied, city-boy sissy. Love, Doc Boy. Nothin' like a brother.

9 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

And now back to "Bartholomew, the Centipede Who Saved Christmas". ** That is A LOT of snowshoes.

10 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh... I just can't seem to get into the holiday mood. I did it again. NOW I feel Christmasy.

11 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Rats! THUNK OW! K-K-K-K-K WOOAAHH CRAAASSSHH! tinkle tinkle tinkle Decorating has begun. ZZZT! YAAHH!

12 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Almost done decorating, boys. All that's left is to put on the star. AAAAA!! What happened to the top of the tree?! -

13 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

The lights are up! The switch is thrown! The fuse is blown. And the tradition lives on.

14 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I saw a real cute girl at the mall standing under mistletoe, so I kissed her. But it was a mannequin. Did you know their heads pop right off. So, are you seeing her again?

15 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

So, spider, do you have a Santa Claus too? Oh, sure. Just like yours. He rides in a sleigh pulled by eight tiny houseflies. Who makes his toys? Gnats. Should've guessed.

16 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Hel-LO, Patti....it's Jon Arbuckle, the guy of your dreams. And what would YOU like for Christmas? An unlisted phone number, you say. Ho, ho, ow.

17 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

What is it about Christmas that fills my heart so? Is it the lights, the presents, the smiles on the faces of little children, the feeling of good will that fills the air?... Yeah...definitely the presents.

18 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

* Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells... You're flat. No, I'm not. Yes, you are.

19 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Ahhh... I love this time of year. A wondrous eason for young and old alike... A special time of year when all observer: Peace on earth... ROWR And good will toward men.

20 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, Garfield. I'll put your presnet under the tree if you promise not to peek You have my solemn vow. By the way, what's with the drill? What drill?

21 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

If you peek at your present, I'll tell Santa. And he's already not too happy with you for eating his milk and cookies last year. You HAD to bring that up, didn't you?!

22 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm resisting... I'm resisting... I'm resisting... Oh, who am I kidding? -

23 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Did you leave milk and cookies out for Santa? Get real, Jon. A big fat guy who's driving all night doesn't want milk and cookies. T-bone steak and a pot of coffee?

24 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Merry Christmas!

25 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I know that sweater mom made for you doesn't fit too tell... But it's the thought that counts. That's what scares me.

26 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

beep bip boop boop bip boop bip Hi, are you a woman? ...are you single? Great! Wanna go out new year's eve?! *CLICK* boop bip beep boop bip beep bip Hope springs eternal.

27 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh...Christmas is over...the presents are unwrapped. ...the candy is eaten... ALL of it! Joy to the world.

28 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

Karen, sweetie, howzabout ringing in the new year with jolly JonnyA.? CLICK Hello? Hello? Where did I go wrong? The part where you dialed.

29 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't get a date for new year's eve. I hate to let such a nice corsage go to waste. BURP It didn't. I smell carnations.

30 December 1998
 
 
   
Garfield

5-4-3-2-1... HAPPY NEW YEAR! going! It's not official until the spider drops. Hi, mom!

31 December 1998
 




Garfield's Birthday | New Year's Eve | New Year's Day | X-max Eve | X-mas Day