1 November 1998
hic hic hic hic hic hic HICCITTY HICCITTY HICEY-HICKEY HUC-HUC HUC HUC ICCITTY HUC HUC HUC HUC ICCITTY Freestyle hiccupping.
2 November 1998
They say scaring a person cures the hiccups. hic hic hic hic BOO! HIC
3 November 1998
I'm sick of these hiccups...I wish they'd just disappear. hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic I'm sick of this dog...
4 November 1998
I wonder if getting a tattoo would make me more macho? A tattoo? Aren't you the guy who screams when he clips his toenails?
5 November 1998
Dull, dull, dull. This isn't a hat! It's a beehive! Weird, weird, weird.
6 November 1998
My date hit me on the head with her purse. Not hard, though. And it was sort of a glancing blow... Do I hear wedding bells?
7 November 1998
8 November 1998
Second, third, fourth... Cute, cute, cute... Fifth, sixth... Cute, cute... Seventh grade... WHOA!
9 November 1998
That's Mary and Denny and me. They were elected king and queen of the prom. I was the court jester. Sir Dweeb.
10 November 1998
Lorna Grubsky, my school sweetheart. Her parents ended our relationship. They said I would grow up to be dull. The Grubskys were prophets.
11 November 1998
Looking at this old photo album sure makes me nostalgic, Garfield. Sigh. I'll call her "Cousin Suzy". I hate it when he goes to rummage sales.
12 November 1998
See the cow. See the cow being milked. Now what have you learned? Steak comes with a free beverage?
13 November 1998
I wonder if time travel will ever be possible. I hope so. Then I'll be able to come back and avoid this conversation.
14 November 1998
15 November 1998
I feel creative today. Yup, I feel the need to express myself. But I can't do that now, can I?! I ate his paste.
16 November 1998
It's "National Pretend-You're-Not-Stupid Day".
17 November 1998
When Jon has a bad hair day, he wears a hat. Must be having a bad FACE day.
18 November 1998
We should be thankful for this meal. Some of us should, anyway.
19 November 1998
Must you watch while I eat? You call that eating?! Your chewing rhythm is way out of sync! Go away. No, no! The fork angle is all wrong!
20 November 1998
Garfield, it's not fair that I sit here tonight... And out there are thousands of women... Who will never know the thrill of my company. Unfair yet merciful.
21 November 1998
I'm going to the kitchen. Want me to bring you anything? Uh...no thanks. sklish sklish sklish BURP sklish sklish sklish sklish I think I just had an out-of-stomach experience. Hey! Where's the olive loaf?!
22 November 1998
Hello, scale. Greetings, you chubbiness! It's that time of year again. Time to rotate your cellulite? Time to change your batteries. Hey there, Skinny!
23 November 1998
AWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWW ? WWWWWWWWWWW
24 November 1998
Weight? Sure. Fat. Rats. Same ol' Same ol'
25 November 1998
STOMP! Ow, and ick.
26 November 1998
AIE-YI-YI! WHOO-EEE! WHOA, MOMMA! Get me a hammer.
27 November 1998
Shields are down forty percent, captain! Hull breach on decks four and five! I hate you. Man the escape pods...I repeat...
28 November 1998
Oh, no... bzzzzz zzzzzz Land. zzzzzz Land, land, land, land... Land, land, land, land, land, land, land, land... zzzt Cough zzzzz -
29 November 1998
Cats are mysterious creatures. squeak squeak And scary.
30 November 1998