- - STOMP - weeeeeeeeeee - - weeeeeeeeeee -
1 March 1998
Z - SLURRRP! - Are you getting up this morning, Garfield? Wake me up when dogs are extinct.
2 March 1998
I'm going to commune with nature. - Fine. - I'll stay in and commune with the throw rug.
3 March 1998
Ha! Ha! Look at those floppy ears! - Look at those droopy jowls! - And look at that reach.
4 March 1998
Stop me if you've heard this one. - An ostrich walks up to a farmhouse with a monkey under his wing... - Heard it.
5 March 1998
Big date tonight, Garfield. - RIP! RIP! It must be. - He's using the "good" magazine cologne samples. pat pat
6 March 1998
Nobody understands me. - You're a selfish pig. - But, what do I know?
7 March 1998
- - RIIINNG * - Hello, Jon? It's Lisa. - What time are you picking me up tonight? - BUURRP - * ...got a date with an angel... Not anymore.
8 March 1998
You should learn to appreciate the beauty of the great outdoors. - Good idea. - Put the skylight there.
9 March 1998
I'll go out and work hard, while you just lie there and do nothing. - - I'm being sarcastic. But that doesn't mean it's not a good idea!
10 March 1998
I'm thinking about going off to seek adventure! - Or maybe adventure can come here. - I hope it calls first instead of just popping in.
11 March 1998
I just thought of something for us to do. - SMACK - I just thought of something for me to do.
12 March 1998
Garfield, there's a mouse in the kitchen. Tell him to bring me a sandwich. - Well? - Garfield, you're fired! And hold the mayo.
13 March 1998
I ate so much I can't move. - - Which is the only reason I stopeed eating.
14 March 1998
- - - - - - Glacier impression.
15 March 1998
GARFIELD! - What do you call this?! - I call that "backscratcher avec cat hair".
16 March 1998
Do you want to go for a walk, Odie? - Do you? Yip! Yip! Do you, huh?! Yip! - Well, don't be gone long.
17 March 1998
- - I started without you.
18 March 1998
Guess your weight? Sure. - You're fat. - Now step on and we'll see if I'm right. Hm...two insults for the price of one.
19 March 1998
Here comes the ferocious cat! - muss muss muss muss muss - * DINGDONG His date is here and I hid his comb!
20 March 1998
I know Garfield! - I'll stuff my mouth full of bananas... - Then you tickle me! We are the bored.
21 March 1998
- bzzzzzzz - EEEEEEYAAAHHH - SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SMACK WHOP SMASH KSSSHHH - bzzzz - EEEYAAAAHHHH - SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH KSS SMASH CRASH! CRUNCH Obsessive behavior is not a pretty thing.
22 March 1998
* DING DONG - ? - Why didn't I think of that sooner?
23 March 1998
- - pant pant pant zzzzzzzz
24 March 1998
I'll lure that fly closer by putting on this mask. - Here, fly. - SWAT - Bad dog!
25 March 1998
So, you want a housefly bumped off? Let's talk... - I work alone and my take is fifty percent. - Do it quickly and you can have the whole fly. Hey, Guido likes what Guido hears!
26 March 1998
Whatever happened to that annoying fly? - BURP - Excuse me. Ask question, get answer.
27 March 1998
SWAT! - - bloop
28 March 1998
- Hi, cat! Hi, tree. - How about a climb up the new, improved me? How so? - It's spring! I have al new bark... Uh-huh. - All new branches...all new leaves... Uh-huh...uh-huh. - All new baby bird nests... - And the same old lies. HEY!
29 March 1998
Here's something you never stop to think about... - Do you realize that one-seventh of your life is spent on monday? - Ptooey! Now the inside of my outh is all black! Newsprint will do that.
30 March 1998
31 March 1998