Somebody put dish detergent in the mouthwash bottle. You wouldn't know anything about this, would you? Whoa... Well?! I can see myself in your teeth.1 April 1998 |
 Iced ketchup isn't so bad. I think we've put off shopping just a little too long, haven't we?2 April 1998 |
 Well, it's friday night and I have places to go! I'm not here! I'm off doing something exciting! Try hiding behind the curtains. That will fool me.3 April 1998 |
 Ah! The first flower of spring! GULP! Now let's find that first robin.4 April 1998 |
 Okay...make it good. HELLLLP! ROWWRRR! SCREEEEE There's no escaping this time, mouse! BRAVO! Thank yew Thank yew Too much, really.5 April 1998 |
 Cats are mysterious creatures. Years ago, somebody lost the operator's manual.6 April 1998 |
 I only shed one hair this afternoon. But I had a busy morning.7 April 1998 |
 Oh, no! I'M using the cat brush! Gee, I don't yell when I use his toothbrush.8 April 1998 |
 Look at that cat hair! What are YOU upset about? I'M the one it seems to be following.9 April 1998 |
 You look full, Garfield. You must have been out hunting. Out there stalking your prey. I slashed the tires on a donut truck.10 April 1998 |
 How's it going? Oh, great! You broke my concentration! Now I'll have to start shedding all over again!11 April 1998 |
 Breakfast! Lunch. Yawn. scratch scratch12 April 1998 |
 BRRIIIINNG SMASH! I hate mornings. I'm not too crazy about 'em, either.13 April 1998 |
 Could you possibly be more annoying? I had to ask.14 April 1998 |
 Hey, fatso, you're standing in my light! Move it, blubber-bottom...NOW! Smatter, are you fat AND deaf?! Yeees, it's stomping time.15 April 1998 |
 Where's my pie?! That's the fifth one this week! Hey, there's a tunnel down here! Rats.16 April 1998 |
 You're breaking our date? But I already have a reservation at "Hank's House o' Heifers". Sure...I understand. No, Garfield.17 April 1998 |
 It takes a skill to properly eat an ice cream cone. It takes balance. And good cone-to-mouth coordination. I can't see!18 April 1998 |
 (null)19 April 1998 |
 I cut my finger on your cat food can. It was awful. I bled a lot, and I nearly fainted. But you got the can open, right?20 April 1998 |
 I'm not cutting my fingers on cat food cans anymore! Drom now on it's cat food in a BAG! OW! Paper cut.21 April 1998 |
 I had this shirt on inside out all day, but nobody noticed. Jon, I'm sure everybody noticed. pat pat Nobody CARED.22 April 1998 |
 Did you push my bed out the window?! Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you.23 April 1998 |
 SLASH! -24 April 1998 |
 I had an ice cream cone today. Not long enough to eat it, of course! Get over it.25 April 1998 |
 Yes, Garfield... Somewhere out there is the girl for me! I get the point!26 April 1998 |
 I have both arms in the same sleeve. I think it's best to keep walking.27 April 1998 |
 One thing wrong with dogs: YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! No on/off switch. YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP!28 April 1998 |
 I can't BELIEVE how terrible this dinner tastes! GULP! Nice try.29 April 1998 |
 Don't you dare eat me! Nobody /burp) likes a pushy guppy.30 April 1998 |
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