Somebody put dish detergent in the mouthwash bottle. - You wouldn't know anything about this, would you? Whoa... - Well?! I can see myself in your teeth.
1 April 1998
- Iced ketchup isn't so bad. - I think we've put off shopping just a little too long, haven't we?
2 April 1998
Well, it's friday night and I have places to go! - I'm not here! - I'm off doing something exciting! Try hiding behind the curtains. That will fool me.
3 April 1998
Ah! The first flower of spring! - GULP! - Now let's find that first robin.
4 April 1998
Okay...make it good. - HELLLLP! ROWWRRR! - SCREEEEE - There's no escaping this time, mouse! - BRAVO! - Thank yew Thank yew Too much, really.
5 April 1998
Cats are mysterious creatures. - - Years ago, somebody lost the operator's manual.
6 April 1998
I only shed one hair this afternoon. - - But I had a busy morning.
7 April 1998
- Oh, no! - I'M using the cat brush! Gee, I don't yell when I use his toothbrush.
8 April 1998
Look at that cat hair! - What are YOU upset about? - I'M the one it seems to be following.
9 April 1998
You look full, Garfield. - You must have been out hunting. - Out there stalking your prey. I slashed the tires on a donut truck.
10 April 1998
How's it going? Oh, great! - You broke my concentration! - Now I'll have to start shedding all over again!
11 April 1998
- Breakfast! - - - - - Lunch. Yawn. scratch scratch
12 April 1998
BRRIIIINNG - SMASH! - I hate mornings. I'm not too crazy about 'em, either.
13 April 1998
Could you possibly be more annoying? - - I had to ask.
14 April 1998
Hey, fatso, you're standing in my light! - Move it, blubber-bottom...NOW! - Smatter, are you fat AND deaf?! Yeees, it's stomping time.
15 April 1998
Where's my pie?! - That's the fifth one this week! - Hey, there's a tunnel down here! Rats.
16 April 1998
You're breaking our date? But I already have a reservation at "Hank's House o' Heifers". - Sure...I understand. - No, Garfield.
17 April 1998
It takes a skill to properly eat an ice cream cone. - It takes balance. - And good cone-to-mouth coordination. I can't see!
18 April 1998
assertiveness training seminar was a REAL stupid idea.
19 April 1998
I cut my finger on your cat food can. - It was awful. I bled a lot, and I nearly fainted. - But you got the can open, right?
20 April 1998
I'm not cutting my fingers on cat food cans anymore! - Drom now on it's cat food in a BAG! - OW! Paper cut.
21 April 1998
I had this shirt on inside out all day, but nobody noticed. - Jon, I'm sure everybody noticed. pat pat - Nobody CARED.
22 April 1998
Did you push my bed out the window?! - Sorry. - I didn't mean to wake you.
23 April 1998
SLASH! - -
24 April 1998
I had an ice cream cone today. - - Not long enough to eat it, of course! Get over it.
25 April 1998
Yes, Garfield... - Somewhere out there is the girl for me! - - - - - I get the point!
26 April 1998
- I have both arms in the same sleeve. - I think it's best to keep walking.
27 April 1998
One thing wrong with dogs: YIP! YIP! YIP! - YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! - No on/off switch. YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP!
28 April 1998
I can't BELIEVE how terrible this dinner tastes! - GULP! - Nice try.
29 April 1998
- Don't you dare eat me! - Nobody /burp) likes a pushy guppy.
30 April 1998