Somebody put dish detergent in the mouthwash bottle. You wouldn't know anything about this, would you? Whoa... Well?! I can see myself in your teeth.
1 April 1998
Iced ketchup isn't so bad. I think we've put off shopping just a little too long, haven't we?
2 April 1998
Well, it's friday night and I have places to go! I'm not here! I'm off doing something exciting! Try hiding behind the curtains. That will fool me.
3 April 1998
Ah! The first flower of spring! GULP! Now let's find that first robin.
4 April 1998
Okay...make it good. HELLLLP! ROWWRRR! SCREEEEE There's no escaping this time, mouse! BRAVO! Thank yew Thank yew Too much, really.
5 April 1998
Cats are mysterious creatures. Years ago, somebody lost the operator's manual.
6 April 1998
I only shed one hair this afternoon. But I had a busy morning.
7 April 1998
Oh, no! I'M using the cat brush! Gee, I don't yell when I use his toothbrush.
8 April 1998
Look at that cat hair! What are YOU upset about? I'M the one it seems to be following.
9 April 1998
You look full, Garfield. You must have been out hunting. Out there stalking your prey. I slashed the tires on a donut truck.
10 April 1998
How's it going? Oh, great! You broke my concentration! Now I'll have to start shedding all over again!
11 April 1998
Breakfast! Lunch. Yawn. scratch scratch
12 April 1998
BRRIIIINNG SMASH! I hate mornings. I'm not too crazy about 'em, either.
13 April 1998
Could you possibly be more annoying? I had to ask.
14 April 1998
Hey, fatso, you're standing in my light! Move it, blubber-bottom...NOW! Smatter, are you fat AND deaf?! Yeees, it's stomping time.
15 April 1998
Where's my pie?! That's the fifth one this week! Hey, there's a tunnel down here! Rats.
16 April 1998
You're breaking our date? But I already have a reservation at "Hank's House o' Heifers". Sure...I understand. No, Garfield.
17 April 1998
It takes a skill to properly eat an ice cream cone. It takes balance. And good cone-to-mouth coordination. I can't see!
18 April 1998
19 April 1998
I cut my finger on your cat food can. It was awful. I bled a lot, and I nearly fainted. But you got the can open, right?
20 April 1998
I'm not cutting my fingers on cat food cans anymore! Drom now on it's cat food in a BAG! OW! Paper cut.
21 April 1998
I had this shirt on inside out all day, but nobody noticed. Jon, I'm sure everybody noticed. pat pat Nobody CARED.
22 April 1998
Did you push my bed out the window?! Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you.
23 April 1998
24 April 1998
I had an ice cream cone today. Not long enough to eat it, of course! Get over it.
25 April 1998
Yes, Garfield... Somewhere out there is the girl for me! I get the point!
26 April 1998
I have both arms in the same sleeve. I think it's best to keep walking.
27 April 1998
One thing wrong with dogs: YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! No on/off switch. YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP!
28 April 1998
I can't BELIEVE how terrible this dinner tastes! GULP! Nice try.
29 April 1998
Don't you dare eat me! Nobody /burp) likes a pushy guppy.
30 April 1998