TWANG! THOT! - Ha! Missed again! That's four! - Now it's my turn to be William Tell. Ahhhh, friday night.
1 May 1998
plip - bzzzzzzzz - Fly paper.
2 May 1998
like to go out with me.... - CLICK - Boy, talk about holding a grudge. I'd knock her down from four "Hubba-Hubbas" to three.
3 May 1998
This is my new college intern, Biff. - - Is there something I should be doing? You've got a lot to learn about being a cat, Biff.
4 May 1998
Okay, college intern Biff, do you know what a cat is supposed to do with a ball of yarn? - Knit a sweater and sell it to buy food? - Wow, and I was just guessing. I'm starting to like this kid.
5 May 1998
Remember, Biff, a cat can't do too little. - - I'm sorry. I wasn't listening. Attaboy.
6 May 1998
What should I do now, sir? Go practice your menacing glare. - I'll get right on it, sir. You do that. - Who are you, and what do you want? Fear me, sir.
7 May 1998
Ah, the fragile fluorescent butterfly... - What can be said about the beautiful butterfly? - Tastes like chicken?
8 May 1998
I'm expecting an important call. - - Dinner! Bingo!
9 May 1998
Okay, how many cards? Three. - ...and the dealer takes one. - I'll be two... - - - Call, and raise. - I'll yell at him after he stops winning.
10 May 1998
schlurp - ZOING - Just how many scoops did you use?! Scoops?
11 May 1998
Thanks for the use of your pen. - Too bad it ran out of ink. -
12 May 1998
One minute I'm freezing, the next I'm burning up. - I think I'll go lie down. - Fun with the thermostat.
13 May 1998
What happened to that last piece of pie I was saving? - - You're cute when you're stupid. pat pat
14 May 1998
Well, it's friday night and Jon doesn't have a date. Know why? - Do there wax lips make me look sexier? - Duh...
15 May 1998
Nothing lasts forever. - - Except whatever is in the back of the refrigerator.
16 May 1998
I hear footsteps. - Here comes the cat. - Hey, fatso! We're not afraid of you! We've got you outnumbered! - United we stand! Right, pal? - bzzzzzzzing! Pal? - SMACK! - You all right? Go fly into a windshield.
17 May 1998
Garfield, all you think about is food. - Me, I'm reading a book. - "Moby Dick". We're out of Tartar Sauce.
18 May 1998
I don't want to be disturbed. - You got it. - I'll stand lookout.
19 May 1998
The ghost crept closer and closer... - Suddenly, it...GRABBED HIM! - AIEEE! That part always scares him.
20 May 1998
This book is about a very brave man. - He can't be braver than you, Jon. - My dinner is five minutes late.
21 May 1998
This was our annual school pageant. - "A salute to area livestock growers". - I was the happy pig boy. He tells people these things.
22 May 1998
Here's a cat who can predict earthquakes. - Why can't you do something like that? - I once slept through an earthquake.
23 May 1998
shuffle shuffle shuffle - shuffle shuffle shuffle - shuffle shuffle shuffle - ZZZT - Hee hee hee. - shuffle shuffle shuffle - STOMP
24 May 1998
RING! - Whew! There's nothing worse than waking up from a bad dream. - RIINNG Unless it's waking up to a bad reality.
25 May 1998
- - The tail bone's connected to the face bone.
26 May 1998
- You know, Garfield...I'm not your butler. I know. - Butlers get paid.
27 May 1998
BARK BARK BARK BARK - Is that all you can do? - * A little black dog sat on the porch and Bingo was his name... * If I let him bite me, maybe he'll quit.
28 May 1998
Hiya, fatboy! - STOMP! - Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Hiya, lefty.
29 May 1998
I'm going to climb up on the roof to replace a shingle. - Wanna help? Sure. - I'll call the ambulance.
30 May 1998
clac clac clac - - Ah. - AH - AH! - - chew chew chew
31 May 1998