BURP When did we last have kielbasa?
1 August 1998
Stay tuned! click And now... click Coming up next... click Presenting... click Here's... click Welcome to... click Anything good on? click How should I know?
2 August 1998
...and so life in Happy Meadow returned to normal for everyone. Except for Larry the Squirrel. Who was eaten by the cat. I love a happy ending!
3 August 1998
This soup lacks something. Hmmm... A can opener?
4 August 1998
I've made a few mistakes in my life. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Like looking to you for sympathy, for instance.
5 August 1998
Strange. This is a picture of me taken when I was considering a career in medical research. That explains the white rat suit.
6 August 1998
You can't intimidate me, Garfield. No matter how hard you try. And, I'm guessing you aren't trying really hard.
7 August 1998
Welcome to the show! ZIP thud! That was our big finish, dummy!
8 August 1998
Sigh What a nice sunset. Garfield! Dinner! snap! snap! No! Forget it! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! I said no, and I MEANT no! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! ERRRGGHHH You don't train cats...cats train you. Willthat be all, sire?
9 August 1998
Remember me? SMACK! You do look familiar.
10 August 1998
BRIIIING Danny! What happened to you? WHAAAAT?
11 August 1998
Garfield... Like it? Bagged him in the bathroom.
12 August 1998
We spiders can grow to be pretty old. Guess how long I'M gonna live. C'mon, c'mon... Is this getting easier, or are spiders just getting stupider?
13 August 1998
Spare my life and I'll do anything for you! Anything? ANYthing! -
14 August 1998
zip smack! Good work, Guido. Here's your fly. Hey! The deal was for TWO flies!
15 August 1998
16 August 1998
As the master of the house, I get to tell you what to do. Fair enough. And as the cat of the house, I get to ignore you.
17 August 1998
munch munch Salad? Wht am I, a rabbit?
18 August 1998
All right, you caught me...now what? Uh, I don't remember. We could sing a song. MEOW ** MEYOW SQUEEK SQUEEK * ** I don't even want to know.
19 August 1998
Fido, here's your final "Pet Quiz" question. How much is one plus one? woof, woof... Woof? Dogs?
20 August 1998
Hello, Susan, would you like to go to a movie? Well then how about just getting married? I hope you won't scream like that in front of the kids. He's scaring ME.
21 August 1998
It's wonder dog! Flying through the air... Searching out evil wherev... SMACK! Hard to do from the windshield of a 747. Turn the wipers on, Doug.
22 August 1998
Okay, I'll bite. So why do you want to go to the north pole, Garfield? Birds. flap flap flap flap flap ZIP In tuxedos. PUNT Who can't fly. I'll make the reservations.
23 August 1998
Ha! I'll bet my day was more boring than yours! Sure, you had to spend it with YOU.
24 August 1998
Do you know what words I live by? I give up. Well, am I right?
25 August 1998
You know, Garfield... I believe you've stopped shedding. Yo! Jon! Over here!
26 August 1998
Ha, ha, ha. Stop it, you're killing me. Ha, ha, ha. That's a good one. Are you ready to hear my joke? Hang on. Ha, ha, ha.
27 August 1998
Do you think it's warm enough for these shorts? Let me put this as delicately as I can, Jon. If we were on the surface of the SUN it wouldn't be warm enough for those shorts.
28 August 1998
Okay, how about the saturday after that? How about the saturday after that? How about the saturday after that? How about the saturday after that? tap tap Yes? Earth to Jon...
29 August 1998
ffft ROWR WOOF! Woof? Arf? ...ruff? Bow-wow? Yip? Rowf? Roof? Dumb dog. BARK!
30 August 1998
I'm in a bad mood, and the world will have to suffer the consequences. I think the world is hiding.
31 August 1998