Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - Grrrrr Are you going to bark or what? - I'll get to it! Okay?! Well, I don't have all day.
1 May 1999
Yeeeeeeessss... - * Hmm hmm hmmmm - Mighty fine... - Lookin' good, big guy. - Whaddaya think, Garfield? - Let me see... - By golly, you're right!
2 May 1999
Jon! I just had a terrible nightmare! - - Although it wasn't nearly as bad as this.
3 May 1999
- - Did Odie give you my message?
4 May 1999
Plain popcorn, no salt, no butter. - Sounds good. - It'll go great with my plain salt, no butter, no popcorn, and plain butter, no popcorn, no salt.
5 May 1999
All the food is gone! - - Aand...you were going somehwere with this?
6 May 1999
It's a dark and scary night, Garfield. - They say cats can sense when evil is present. - So, is it? No, but my geek sensor just went wild.
7 May 1999
I've gotta be me! - - Couldn't you be somebody else?
8 May 1999
Z - Garfield...wake up! tap tap Z - It's me, the leftover dork chop from the fridge... - You should have eaten me when you had the chance, fat boy. - Because I've glued you to your bed, and have a one-way ticket to Aruba! - So long, sucker!
9 May 1999
You only date adventurous men? - Hey, adventure is my middle name! - I once inhaled a cheeseball. On purpose.
10 May 1999
I can tell how interested a woman is in me by the way she strolls by. - ZOOM - I don't know...she was a little to blurred to tell.
11 May 1999
Ellen, know what I'd like to do? - Run over there and sweep you off your feet! - She's nailing herself to the floor. Ouch.
12 May 1999
Hello? Yes, this is he...a date?...with me? This friday night?! - Pinch me, I must be dreaming! - AAAARRRGGHH!
13 May 1999
Garfield, I'd like you to meet my date. - - You don't have a date, do you? I'd sure like to meet her, too.
14 May 1999
Some days everything goes right. - - I read that in a book. The one that gave you the paper cut?
15 May 1999
- Well hello, Mister Butterfly. - How lovely you are... - Your wings like beautiful paintings... - Your graceful flight like. - HOOO! - Your feet like ice cubes. Sorry.
16 May 1999
Okay, what's the grin for? - You did something, didn't you? - Was there any property damage or loss of life? Define "life".
17 May 1999
Odie is guarding his dish. - rrrrrrrrrrrr - And he's darn good at it, too. munch munch rrrrr DOG FOOD
18 May 1999
I had that falling dream again. - You know, the one where I fall? - I woke up before I hit bottom, though. That is one man's opinion.
19 May 1999
- Okay. - Litter box has been changed. About time.
20 May 1999
You know, Mona, I just know you're going to say you'll go out with me. - Know why? - I'm wearing my lucky socks. I guess the choice is out of her hands.
21 May 1999
* - ** - Got a new can opener case!
22 May 1999
- boing boing pant pant pant - - pant pant pant BOING BOING - Garfield, have you seen Od- - IIIIEEEE SLIP THUD - SLURP AAAGGHH
23 May 1999
My next guest needs no introduction. - - Psst! You're on! Oh. Anyone for radio?
24 May 1999
Hello and welcome to "Hit Me With A Hammer!" - I'm your host, Twink Winkerman, and tonight we'll OW - Suck it up, Twink, you big baby! Oh yeah?! Baby THIS! OW! Television's finest hour.
25 May 1999
This week on "Unfinished Sentence Theater," we will- - Thanks for watch- - Tune in again- AAGGGH!
26 May 1999
And now it's time to play "Block That Kick!" - Our first contestant is Michael!...ready, Mike? Huh? - BOOF GAAHH THAT'S going to raise a welt.
27 May 1999
Welcome to "Watching Paint Dry Theater". - - It's a rerun. Don't tell me how it turns out!
28 May 1999
Welcome to "Is It Good?," in which we invite you, the viewer... - -to send us your old leftovers from the back of your refrigerator! - Contestant number one...is-it-GOOD? Hmmm... SNIFF IT! SNIFF IT!
29 May 1999
Sigh... - - - - Rats!... - I just can't get comfortable! - Z
30 May 1999
Come on, Garfield, let's be honest. Does anything I say ever get through to you? - - Y'know, I think that mole on your neck is getting bigger.
31 May 1999