Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Grrrrr Are you going to bark or what? I'll get to it! Okay?! Well, I don't have all day.
1 May 1999
Yeeeeeeessss... * Hmm hmm hmmmm Mighty fine... Lookin' good, big guy. Whaddaya think, Garfield? Let me see... By golly, you're right!
2 May 1999
Jon! I just had a terrible nightmare! Although it wasn't nearly as bad as this.
3 May 1999
Did Odie give you my message?
4 May 1999
Plain popcorn, no salt, no butter. Sounds good. It'll go great with my plain salt, no butter, no popcorn, and plain butter, no popcorn, no salt.
5 May 1999
All the food is gone! Aand...you were going somehwere with this?
6 May 1999
It's a dark and scary night, Garfield. They say cats can sense when evil is present. So, is it? No, but my geek sensor just went wild.
7 May 1999
I've gotta be me! Couldn't you be somebody else?
8 May 1999
9 May 1999
You only date adventurous men? Hey, adventure is my middle name! I once inhaled a cheeseball. On purpose.
10 May 1999
I can tell how interested a woman is in me by the way she strolls by. ZOOM I don't know...she was a little to blurred to tell.
11 May 1999
Ellen, know what I'd like to do? Run over there and sweep you off your feet! She's nailing herself to the floor. Ouch.
12 May 1999
Hello? Yes, this is he...a date?...with me? This friday night?! Pinch me, I must be dreaming! AAAARRRGGHH!
13 May 1999
Garfield, I'd like you to meet my date. You don't have a date, do you? I'd sure like to meet her, too.
14 May 1999
Some days everything goes right. I read that in a book. The one that gave you the paper cut?
15 May 1999
Well hello, Mister Butterfly. How lovely you are... Your wings like beautiful paintings... Your graceful flight like. HOOO! Your feet like ice cubes. Sorry.
16 May 1999
Okay, what's the grin for? You did something, didn't you? Was there any property damage or loss of life? Define "life".
17 May 1999
Odie is guarding his dish. rrrrrrrrrrrr And he's darn good at it, too. munch munch rrrrr DOG FOOD
18 May 1999
I had that falling dream again. You know, the one where I fall? I woke up before I hit bottom, though. That is one man's opinion.
19 May 1999
Okay. Litter box has been changed. About time.
20 May 1999
You know, Mona, I just know you're going to say you'll go out with me. Know why? I'm wearing my lucky socks. I guess the choice is out of her hands.
21 May 1999
* ** Got a new can opener case!
22 May 1999
boing boing pant pant pant pant pant pant BOING BOING Garfield, have you seen Od IIIIEEEE SLIP THUD SLURP AAAGGHH
23 May 1999
My next guest needs no introduction. Psst! You're on! Oh. Anyone for radio?
24 May 1999
Hello and welcome to "Hit Me With A Hammer!" I'm your host, Twink Winkerman, and tonight we'll OW Suck it up, Twink, you big baby! Oh yeah?! Baby THIS! OW! Television's finest hour.
25 May 1999
This week on "Unfinished Sentence Theater," we will Thanks for watch Tune in again AAGGGH!
26 May 1999
And now it's time to play "Block That Kick!" Our first contestant is Michael!...ready, Mike? Huh? BOOF GAAHH THAT'S going to raise a welt.
27 May 1999
Welcome to "Watching Paint Dry Theater". It's a rerun. Don't tell me how it turns out!
28 May 1999
Welcome to "Is It Good?," in which we invite you, the viewer... -to send us your old leftovers from the back of your refrigerator! Contestant number one...is-it-GOOD? Hmmm... SNIFF IT! SNIFF IT!
29 May 1999
Sigh... Rats!... I just can't get comfortable! Z
30 May 1999
Come on, Garfield, let's be honest. Does anything I say ever get through to you? Y'know, I think that mole on your neck is getting bigger.
31 May 1999