Time to get some household chores done. BOOT! Break time.
1 June 1999
Remember, kids, pigs are an excellent source of an important nutrient. Bacon grease. Occasionally I put the humor aside and do my part for education.
2 June 1999
Some people aren't lucky in love. Like my aunt Edna. They never find the right one. She married a hyena. But still you hope. Oh sure, he was a lot of laughs...
3 June 1999
I had a date last night, Garfield. She was a little older than I expected. Orpha, this id Jon. I have your teeth. Oh baby, baby.
4 June 1999
I have two hundred french fries in my mouth! You're disgusting. He hates to see me break his record.
5 June 1999
? BONK OW!
6 June 1999
Maybe I'll be like you today, Garfield... Lazy! Another convert.
7 June 1999
Life is passing you by. Every moment you lie there is another one you'll never have back, you know. That's okay. I won't miss them. Especially the ones spent staring up your nose.
8 June 1999
Time for me to not do some sit-ups. How's it going? Darn. Made me lose count.
9 June 1999
Look at you... Just LOOK at you! -
10 June 1999
You're lucky to have me around. Luck isn't what it used to be.
11 June 1999
It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown! And you say I never exercise.
12 June 1999
I suppose you're wondering why I have this sack on my head. Well, I have this big, ugly zit on my face... And it looks so horrific I don't want it seen. ** DING-DONG That's my date. I hope she understands. -
13 June 1999
SMACK Your birthday is coming soon. I know. I marked the calendar.
14 June 1999
Would you like a birthday party this year, Garfield? We could invite all of your friends. More cake for him.
15 June 1999
I remember my 21st birthday, back on the farm... We played "Pin the Tail on the Donkey"...with a real donkey! I can't recall much after that. This explains a lot.
16 June 1999
You shouldn't worry about turning 21. I had an uncle who lived to be 21. Really? I remember what he always used to say to me... What was that? "Who the heck are you?!"
17 June 1999
This is Garfield's birthday present. He'll never figure out what it is. Not until I tuen my flashlight on...
18 June 1999
Yes, yes, I know it's my birthday. You don't have to rub it in. Then again, perhaps you do.
19 June 1999
* dingle dingle dingle * * dingle * dingle * dingle THOOMP GARFIELD!!
20 June 1999
I feel very up today, Garfield. Birds are singing. The sun is shining. And my nose rash is dissipating! I wish YOU'D disspiate.
21 June 1999
I love you, Odie. Always stay the way you are! Bronze him.
22 June 1999
Everyone has their breaking point. Little things that drive them crazy. bbbbb Like lip flipping.
23 June 1999
Walking is good exercise. But you have to take more than one step. There's always a string attached!
24 June 1999
I can't believe you ate Dicky bird! Never again to hear thoe little feet scampering around the cage! Relax. The little feet might still be in there.
25 June 1999
I bought dancing shoes! The don't seem to work. Maybe there's an on/off switch.
26 June 1999
Z UUHHNNYAHHH GAHOOOOOOOOOO HEEEEYUHHHHH HUHYEEEYAHHH Go do your sit-ups outside!
27 June 1999
** DING-DONG I wonder who that could be. ** DING-DONG Oh, well, at least I know who it's NOT...he's too short to reach the doorbell. TAH-DAAAH! AAARRRGH! smack!
28 June 1999
Greetings, old and fat one! Is the door sagging, or is that you? You used to be cute. Now I'm precious.
29 June 1999
Nermal, what brings you here? I though I'd drop by for a short visit. So, you've packed on a few pounds, have't xou? My, my, my...that WAS a short visit!
30 June 1999