Time to get some household chores done. - BOOT! - Break time.
1 June 1999
Remember, kids, pigs are an excellent source of an important nutrient. - Bacon grease. - Occasionally I put the humor aside and do my part for education.
2 June 1999
Some people aren't lucky in love. Like my aunt Edna. - They never find the right one. She married a hyena. - But still you hope. Oh sure, he was a lot of laughs...
3 June 1999
I had a date last night, Garfield. - She was a little older than I expected. - Orpha, this id Jon. I have your teeth. Oh baby, baby.
4 June 1999
I have two hundred french fries in my mouth! - You're disgusting. - He hates to see me break his record.
5 June 1999
- - ? - - - - BONK OW!
6 June 1999
Maybe I'll be like you today, Garfield... - Lazy! - Another convert.
7 June 1999
Life is passing you by. - Every moment you lie there is another one you'll never have back, you know. That's okay. I won't miss them. - Especially the ones spent staring up your nose.
8 June 1999
Time for me to not do some sit-ups. - - How's it going? Darn. Made me lose count.
9 June 1999
Look at you... - Just LOOK at you! -
10 June 1999
You're lucky to have me around. - - Luck isn't what it used to be.
11 June 1999
It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown! - - And you say I never exercise.
12 June 1999
- I suppose you're wondering why I have this sack on my head. - Well, I have this big, ugly zit on my face... - And it looks so horrific I don't want it seen. - ** DING-DONG That's my date. - I hope she understands. -
13 June 1999
- SMACK - Your birthday is coming soon. I know. I marked the calendar.
14 June 1999
Would you like a birthday party this year, Garfield? We could invite all of your friends. - - More cake for him.
15 June 1999
I remember my 21st birthday, back on the farm... - We played "Pin the Tail on the Donkey"...with a real donkey! - I can't recall much after that. This explains a lot.
16 June 1999
You shouldn't worry about turning 21. I had an uncle who lived to be 21. Really? - I remember what he always used to say to me... What was that? - "Who the heck are you?!"
17 June 1999
This is Garfield's birthday present. - He'll never figure out what it is. - Not until I tuen my flashlight on...
18 June 1999
Yes, yes, I know it's my birthday. - You don't have to rub it in. - Then again, perhaps you do.
19 June 1999
* dingle dingle - dingle * - * dingle - * dingle - * dingle - THOOMP - GARFIELD!!
20 June 1999
I feel very up today, Garfield. - Birds are singing. The sun is shining. - And my nose rash is dissipating! I wish YOU'D disspiate.
21 June 1999
I love you, Odie. - Always stay the way you are! - Bronze him.
22 June 1999
Everyone has their breaking point. - Little things that drive them crazy. - bbbbb Like lip flipping.
23 June 1999
Walking is good exercise. - - But you have to take more than one step. There's always a string attached!
24 June 1999
I can't believe you ate Dicky bird! - Never again to hear thoe little feet scampering around the cage! Relax. - The little feet might still be in there.
25 June 1999
I bought dancing shoes! - - The don't seem to work. Maybe there's an on/off switch.
26 June 1999
- Z - UUHHNNYAHHH - GAHOOOOOOOOOO - HEEEEYUHHHHH - HUHYEEEYAHHH - Go do your sit-ups outside!
27 June 1999
** DING-DONG I wonder who that could be. - ** DING-DONG Oh, well, at least I know who it's NOT...he's too short to reach the doorbell. - TAH-DAAAH! AAARRRGH! smack!
28 June 1999
Greetings, old and fat one! - Is the door sagging, or is that you? - You used to be cute. Now I'm precious.
29 June 1999
Nermal, what brings you here? I though I'd drop by for a short visit. - So, you've packed on a few pounds, have't xou? - My, my, my...that WAS a short visit!
30 June 1999