Hey, look who I found on the lawn! That's bcause I PUT him there. - I'll leave you two to visit. So, aside from the bigger belly and extra chin, what else is new? - Garfield, do you feel a draft?
1 July 1999
Now, Garfield, Nermal came to visit you...be nice. - Yeah...I thought fat folks were supposed to be jolly. - Hee, hee, ha, ho, ho, ha, ho.
2 July 1999
How do you stay so cute? - It's a gift, chunky...a gift. - What was that flush I heard? I just put Nermal's "gift" in layaway.
3 July 1999
* - Ah, this is the life... - Kicking back and relaxing in my very own po-... - Garfield?! What are you doing up on the roof? - CANNONBALL! GAAHHH - SPLOOSH - That was fun! Blow it up again! Kindly remove your foot from my nostril so that I
4 July 1999
Some people travel the world. - And here I sit with you. - I feel sorry for them, too.
5 July 1999
Sit! - - Good boy!
6 July 1999
Know what drives me nuts? - - I'm not telling YOU. Oh, come on, I can always use new ideas.
7 July 1999
There's nothing Jon enjoys more... - Than rubbing my tummy. - If he knows what's good for him.
8 July 1999
Garfield, have you ever regretted any of the awful things you've done to me while I'm sleeping? - Yes. - This isn't one of them, though.
9 July 1999
- I'm spending saturday night with a fat, worthless cat! - Tht fat part was uncalled for.
10 July 1999
- * DING - * DING - * DING - * DING - * DING - Ted's Dong Repair.
11 July 1999
Ah yes, it's good to be back at the ol' diner! - Hi, hon! What can I get you? For starters, a spatula. - My hands are stuck to the counter. Some things never change.
12 July 1999
Mmm...I love the smells of a diner... - Irma, what's that smell? Something sizzling on the grill? Naw. - That's chef Tony. I'll be hitchhiking home now.
13 July 1999
How about you ham, Irma? - Is it fresh? - Oink Yes. Check.
14 July 1999
I'd like a glass of juice, please. - What kind? Orange, sauerkraut, grapefruit or pickle? Uhh...orange. -
15 July 1999
What's this? ...your "He-Man Burger"? - That's a five-pound patty of ground beef on a bun. Five pounds?! Who who could eat such a thing? - uhh-EEE-yah-EEE-yaaah thump thump thump thump
16 July 1999
This coffee is great, Irma! Thanks, hon. I ground the beans myself. - CLOP CLOP CLOP - Why is she wearing golf shoes? I'd rather not know.
17 July 1999
- - dig dig dig - dig dig dig dig dig - dig dig dig dig dig dig - - dig dig dig dig That's deep enough, Odie!
18 July 1999
- AIIIEEEEEE YAH YAH YAH YAH YAAAAHHHH - Anything interesting today? Nah, just bills.
19 July 1999
The next time I see you two, I expect you to be doing something worthwile. - You know what that means, Odie? - We'll never see Jon again.
20 July 1999
I have a real problem with your attitude latey, mister! - That, and your - Short attention span.
21 July 1999
Do you think your life can have an impact on the world? - Absolutely. - Have you noticed that there are fewer sparrows around here than there used to be?
22 July 1999
RING - I won't go out with you! - I wonder who that was? Rejected by wrong numbers! SMACK
23 July 1999
You need to eat a more balanced diet. - Balanced? - You mean as in more than one kind of donut?
24 July 1999
- - Hi, mouse. Hi, cat. - So, what are you standing here for? - I'm waiting for my carpool. Carpool? - Oh, right...a mouse carpool! That's a hot one! slam! screeee - Care to explain this? Mind if I don't?
25 July 1999
Pooky's looking a little dirty...what say I run him through the wash? - My teddy bear is NOT dirty! - Dusty, maybe.
26 July 1999
So long, old pal! - Have a safe journey! sniff - Bon voyage! You have no idea how much pressure I'm under.
27 July 1999
Pooky is in the wash this morning. - You'll just have to find a subsitute for the next hour. - Uh, Garfield. Shh. Pooky doesn't talk.
28 July 1999
Okay, Pooky made it through the wash cycle...I'm adding fabric softener now. - No...this instead. - Conditioner.
29 July 1999
Okay, Garfield, here comes Pooky... - All clean and fresh from the dryer! -
30 July 1999
There he is, fresh from the dryer and all clean! What do you think? - LICK - Missed a spot.
31 July 1999