DING-DONG ** Mrs. Feeny is at the door. She claims you epoxied her weimaraner to a cross-town bus. Is this true? No! I swear!
1 August 1999
Respect is an important part of a pet-owner relationship, Garfield. Wouldn't you agree? Perhaps you wouldn't.
2 August 1999
Gee, I didn't know we had any of those flavored coffees. I found your cough drop. sniff
3 August 1999
Looky, Garfield! Looky! Looky, looky, looky, looky, looky, looky, looky, looky, looky, looky, looky, looky, looky, looky, looky, Hello, doctor? Could you reboove a rubber bouse frub by dose? One "lloky" too many.
4 August 1999
You missed a spot. Work, work, work, work, work, work, work!
5 August 1999
Mr. Smith, I'm calling to ask permission to marry your daughter. No, we haven't had a date yet...dad. That's rather unkind, Mr. Smith. We like to alienate the entire family.
6 August 1999
CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH Usually you let the seeds grow, and then you eat the plant. I'm not a spatient as I used to be.
7 August 1999
8 August 1999
Many viewers are asking: "Can television sink any lower?" Let's find out! All right!
9 August 1999
Welcome to "Scary Theater". Tonight's feature: "The Cat Who Shed on the Furniture". What's so scary about AIEEEE!
10 August 1999
Sorry, kids, but Binky the Clown isn't feeling well today. Filling in for him is his brother...Mel the Accountant! Today we'll be discussing the importance of saving receipts... Sounds funny coming from a guy in a gree wig.
11 August 1999
Mr. Smith, you say you can communicate with plants? That's right. Hello, Mr. Plant, how are you? I am fine, Mr. Smith. Hey! I saw your lips move! 149 channels to go.
12 August 1999
A report states television viewing destroys brain cells. Let me repeat that for our frequent viewers. TV...duh! I am highly offended.
13 August 1999
Hey, handsome, how's your aftershave? C'mere...come closer...closer... Uh...that's close enough, dork boy. Et tu, TV?
14 August 1999
I'm bored. I have gum and a potted plant stuck on my head. A meteorite just crushed my car. And there's a gian gorilla on the roof... ...swatting at airplanes. You have gum?
15 August 1999
Jon says gluttony will kill me. That was true of my uncle Morty. He tried to take a papaya from a silverback gorilla.
16 August 1999
Odie has a personality all his own! Nobody else wanted it.
17 August 1999
I wish you wouldn't attack the mailman. YAAHH!! HELP! HELLLlllp And while I'm at it, I also wish I had a million dollars and a new car.
18 August 1999
I warned you about laziness, Garfield. You can't just lie around all day. You gotta be alert. Just open the bag.
19 August 1999
You WOULD like to go to a movie?! With me?! Rats. You had to press it, didn't you?
20 August 1999
IT'S TIME TO GET UP, GARFIELD! Excellent, Jon! You've never yelled better! Z
21 August 1999
Is that it? Is that the best you can do?! That was nothin'! Come on! Gimme your best shot! Better.
22 August 1999
Garfield, we have a mouse problem. Oh, you can't see them, but they're here. I can sense it. Cool it, guys.
23 August 1999
I had a dream that you caught a mouse. Sounds silly, doesn't it? Not at all. I have dreams all the time.
24 August 1999
Go, Garfield, go! All right! Beat him to the last cookie!
25 August 1999
That's it! If I see one more mouse around here, you're grounded! Let me rephrase that. No, no, I LIKE the concept!
26 August 1999
The mice are out of hand, Garfield! And that upsets me! Okay, everybody, group hug! Group hug!
27 August 1999
I'm moving out. You're going to be proud of me! Much better.
28 August 1999
BZZZzzzzzzzz Darn ol' fly. BZZZzzzzz ZZZZ... CLAP! Got him! BZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZ That's no ordinary fly. BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ YAAAAHHH! That's a fly fueled with my coffee!
29 August 1999
Let's think happy thoughts! All right. Aren't you thinking happy thoughts? I'm not letting my face know.
30 August 1999
Hi'ya, Odie! Thanks a lot!
31 August 1999