- DING-DONG ** - - Mrs. Feeny is at the door. - She claims you epoxied her weimaraner to a cross-town bus. - Is this true? No! - I swear!
1 August 1999
Respect is an important part of a pet-owner relationship, Garfield. - Wouldn't you agree? - Perhaps you wouldn't.
2 August 1999
Gee, I didn't know we had any of those flavored coffees. - - I found your cough drop. sniff
3 August 1999
Looky, Garfield! Looky! - Looky, looky, looky, looky, looky, looky, looky, looky, looky, looky, looky, looky, looky, looky, looky, - Hello, doctor? Could you reboove a rubber bouse frub by dose? One "lloky" too many.
4 August 1999
You missed a spot. - Work, work, work, work, work, work, work!
5 August 1999
Mr. Smith, I'm calling to ask permission to marry your daughter. - No, we haven't had a date yet...dad. - That's rather unkind, Mr. Smith. We like to alienate the entire family.
6 August 1999
CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH - - Usually you let the seeds grow, and then you eat the plant. I'm not a spatient as I used to be.
7 August 1999
- RIIING! - Congratulations, lucky contestant! Answer just two questions and win, win, win! - Question one: What is the sound a cat makes? Meyow. - Correct! And for the GRAND prize, question two: what is the sound a DOG makes?! - DUHHHHHHH -
8 August 1999
Many viewers are asking: - "Can television sink any lower?" - Let's find out! All right!
9 August 1999
Welcome to "Scary Theater". - Tonight's feature: "The Cat Who Shed on the Furniture". - What's so scary about- AIEEEE!
10 August 1999
Sorry, kids, but Binky the Clown isn't feeling well today. - Filling in for him is his brother...Mel the Accountant! - Today we'll be discussing the importance of saving receipts... Sounds funny coming from a guy in a gree wig.
11 August 1999
Mr. Smith, you say you can communicate with plants? That's right. - Hello, Mr. Plant, how are you? I am fine, Mr. Smith. - Hey! I saw your lips move! 149 channels to go.
12 August 1999
A report states television viewing destroys brain cells. - Let me repeat that for our frequent viewers. - TV...duh! I am highly offended.
13 August 1999
Hey, handsome, how's your aftershave? - C'mere...come closer...closer... - Uh...that's close enough, dork boy. Et tu, TV?
14 August 1999
- I'm bored. - I have gum and a potted plant stuck on my head. - A meteorite just crushed my car. - And there's a gian gorilla on the roof... - ...swatting at airplanes. - You have gum?
15 August 1999
Jon says gluttony will kill me. - That was true of my uncle Morty. - He tried to take a papaya from a silverback gorilla.
16 August 1999
Odie has a personality all his own! - - Nobody else wanted it.
17 August 1999
I wish you wouldn't attack the mailman. - - YAAHH!! HELP! HELLLlllp And while I'm at it, I also wish I had a million dollars and a new car.
18 August 1999
I warned you about laziness, Garfield. - You can't just lie around all day. - You gotta be alert. Just open the bag.
19 August 1999
You WOULD like to go to a movie?! - With me?! - Rats. You had to press it, didn't you?
20 August 1999
IT'S TIME TO GET UP, GARFIELD! - Excellent, Jon! You've never yelled better! - Z
21 August 1999
- - - Is that it? Is that the best you can do?! - That was nothin'! Come on! Gimme your best shot! - - Better.
22 August 1999
Garfield, we have a mouse problem. - Oh, you can't see them, but they're here. - I can sense it. Cool it, guys.
23 August 1999
I had a dream that you caught a mouse. - Sounds silly, doesn't it? Not at all. - I have dreams all the time.
24 August 1999
Go, Garfield, go! - All right! - Beat him to the last cookie!
25 August 1999
That's it! If I see one more mouse around here, you're grounded! - - Let me rephrase that. No, no, I LIKE the concept!
26 August 1999
The mice are out of hand, Garfield! - And that upsets me! - Okay, everybody, group hug! Group hug!
27 August 1999
I'm moving out. - You're going to be proud of me! - Much better.
28 August 1999
BZZZzzzzzzzz - Darn ol' fly. BZZZzzzzz - ZZZZ... CLAP! - Got him! - BZZZZZZ- - BZZZZZZZZZZ- That's no ordinary fly. - BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ YAAAAHHH! That's a fly fueled with my coffee!
29 August 1999
Let's think happy thoughts! All right. - - Aren't you thinking happy thoughts? I'm not letting my face know.
30 August 1999
- Hi'ya, Odie! - Thanks a lot!
31 August 1999