- Never help me with the laundry again! - Let's hear it for incompetence.
1 September 1999
Here's a double helping of lasagna, Garfield, with a steak o the side. - Why, thank you so much! - And here are your car keys. Thank you so much.
2 September 1999
I'm ready for my date! - - Looking forward to it, are you? It's in three weeks!
3 September 1999
I just lost my job. I'm here to end it all. - Go ahead. Swat me. - NO. Oh, you ARE cruel.
4 September 1999
Okay, Garfield... - I'm putting this cake here and turning my back. - Let's see if you can withstand temptation. - Okay, my back is turned. - Be strong, Garfield. Hey, fat boy. You wanna piece of me?! - You can do this. Huh?! SLAP! Huh? SLAP!
5 September 1999
- - Coffee kicked in.
6 September 1999
Here's your coffee. - - Careful, it's hot. Thank you, Dr. Science.
7 September 1999
I have had two lousy days in a row. - Today HAS to be a good day. - The law of averages is on my side. There's a fly in your coffee.
8 September 1999
For health reasons, I've decided to give up coffee. - - For sanity reasons, I've decided to give up giving up.
9 September 1999
C'mon, just one more cup. Nope. - You've had enough. - bzzzzz And just what makes you think that?
10 September 1999
Hmmm...what do we have here? - Let me guess. - Hot coffee in the lap? The pain!
11 September 1999
- Hello. Are you lookin' at me? - Nice day. Oh yeah? Sez who?! - They say it might rain later. Is that a threat?! - But I hope it doesn't. Chicken! - I'm planning to take a little walk. Go ahead! Try it! I dare you! - Would you like to come
12 September 1999
Fausto's Pizza...home of the megacheese pizza. - We got onion...we got pepperoni...we got anchovies...whaddya want? - Hello? Anybody there? I love you, Fausto.
13 September 1999
Observe the ever-alert watchdog. - - Psst. That's you, dummy.
14 September 1999
WOOOOOO! - I am guilt! - You stole Jon't lunch! WOOOOOOOooo! The spirit of lunches past.
15 September 1999
HA! HA! HA! HA! - Elen likes men who are able to laugh at themselves. - HA! HA! HA! HA! I wonder what the normal people are doing?
16 September 1999
You would love to go out with me? - You say you're thrilled I asked? - I'm practicing. No kidding.
17 September 1999
I am a thinking human being, and you are a lowly house pet. - WHAM! - I meant to do that! The thinking human being missed the doorway.
18 September 1999
- * beedle beedle beedle - - beedle beedle beedle * - * beedle beedle beedle - I CAN'T FIND MY CELL PHONE! - beedle beedle beedle *
19 September 1999
I had a busy day. - Same here. - Except for that "busy" part.
20 September 1999
Huh! Lying around all day...must be nice! - - ...I said, MUST BE NICE! Do you hear me arguing?
21 September 1999
You seem depressed, Garfield. - Back on the farm, we had a cure for that. - We'd go out to the barn and tickle the goats. Touch me and die.
22 September 1999
- scratch scratch - That was quite burst of activity. I hope nobody got hurt.
23 September 1999
Yesterday you were here. - Today you're here! - WE HAVE MOVEMENT! - I wonder if Charlie Brown could use a cat?
24 September 1999
What if I did nothing, like you? - - You'd never catch up.
25 September 1999
- So, did you finish all your dinner? - WAH HAHA YAH HAA HAA - AHHH YAH HA HA HA HA HOO HOO - HEE NEE HEE HEE HEE SNORT SNORT - - AHHH YAH HA HAHAHA
26 September 1999
Some people think the universe is constantly expanding. - All right! - Room for another donut!
27 September 1999
SLAP! - Too much happiness! - AHHH!
28 September 1999
I just finished drawing a moustache on every picture of Jon in the house! - I jusr drew a moustache on my face! - Troublemaker!
29 September 1999
I'll never forget my days back in school - I'm sure. - If I had my pants run up the flagpole every day, I'd remember it, too.
30 September 1999