Never help me with the laundry again! Let's hear it for incompetence.
1 September 1999
Here's a double helping of lasagna, Garfield, with a steak o the side. Why, thank you so much! And here are your car keys. Thank you so much.
2 September 1999
I'm ready for my date! Looking forward to it, are you? It's in three weeks!
3 September 1999
I just lost my job. I'm here to end it all. Go ahead. Swat me. NO. Oh, you ARE cruel.
4 September 1999
Okay, Garfield... I'm putting this cake here and turning my back. Let's see if you can withstand temptation. Okay, my back is turned. Be strong, Garfield. Hey, fat boy. You wanna piece of me?! You can do this. Huh?! SLAP! Huh? SLAP! Garfield, Garfield, Ga
5 September 1999
Coffee kicked in.
6 September 1999
Here's your coffee. Careful, it's hot. Thank you, Dr. Science.
7 September 1999
I have had two lousy days in a row. Today HAS to be a good day. The law of averages is on my side. There's a fly in your coffee.
8 September 1999
For health reasons, I've decided to give up coffee. For sanity reasons, I've decided to give up giving up.
9 September 1999
C'mon, just one more cup. Nope. You've had enough. bzzzzz And just what makes you think that?
10 September 1999
Hmmm...what do we have here? Let me guess. Hot coffee in the lap? The pain!
11 September 1999
Hello. Are you lookin' at me? Nice day. Oh yeah? Sez who?! They say it might rain later. Is that a threat?! But I hope it doesn't. Chicken! I'm planning to take a little walk. Go ahead! Try it! I dare you! Would you like to comealong? Not until you apolo
12 September 1999
Fausto's Pizza...home of the megacheese pizza. We got onion...we got pepperoni...we got anchovies...whaddya want? Hello? Anybody there? I love you, Fausto.
13 September 1999
Observe the ever-alert watchdog. Psst. That's you, dummy.
14 September 1999
WOOOOOO! I am guilt! You stole Jon't lunch! WOOOOOOOooo! The spirit of lunches past.
15 September 1999
HA! HA! HA! HA! Elen likes men who are able to laugh at themselves. HA! HA! HA! HA! I wonder what the normal people are doing?
16 September 1999
You would love to go out with me? You say you're thrilled I asked? I'm practicing. No kidding.
17 September 1999
I am a thinking human being, and you are a lowly house pet. WHAM! I meant to do that! The thinking human being missed the doorway.
18 September 1999
* beedle beedle beedle beedle beedle beedle * * beedle beedle beedle I CAN'T FIND MY CELL PHONE! beedle beedle beedle *
19 September 1999
I had a busy day. Same here. Except for that "busy" part.
20 September 1999
Huh! Lying around all day...must be nice! ...I said, MUST BE NICE! Do you hear me arguing?
21 September 1999
You seem depressed, Garfield. Back on the farm, we had a cure for that. We'd go out to the barn and tickle the goats. Touch me and die.
22 September 1999
scratch scratch That was quite burst of activity. I hope nobody got hurt.
23 September 1999
Yesterday you were here. Today you're here! WE HAVE MOVEMENT! I wonder if Charlie Brown could use a cat?
24 September 1999
What if I did nothing, like you? You'd never catch up.
25 September 1999
So, did you finish all your dinner? WAH HAHA YAH HAA HAA AHHH YAH HA HA HA HA HOO HOO HEE NEE HEE HEE HEE SNORT SNORT AHHH YAH HA HAHAHA
26 September 1999
Some people think the universe is constantly expanding. All right! Room for another donut!
27 September 1999
SLAP! Too much happiness! AHHH!
28 September 1999
I just finished drawing a moustache on every picture of Jon in the house! I jusr drew a moustache on my face! Troublemaker!
29 September 1999
I'll never forget my days back in school I'm sure. If I had my pants run up the flagpole every day, I'd remember it, too.
30 September 1999