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Garfield

A toast: to the new year! clink This does not bode well... It's not a very good sign, either.

1 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

Happy new year. Not so louuud.

2 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

Garfield, let's just sit here and think deep thoughts. Do monkeys marry? Come back! You're too deep!

3 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

I take no pleasure in kicking Odie. BOOT! I do, however, enjoy watching him claw at the air on the way down.

4 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

Getting a little plump, aren't we? Plump? Plump, you say? Put it back. Plump is history.

5 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

Garfield, I just had a thought! Darn! Slippery little devils.

6 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

Ellen siad not to call her anymore. She says it's too expensive. She says every time I call she rips the phone out the wall. Badda boom.

7 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

I have a lot of things on my schedule. Whoa. All I have on mine is a little ketchup.

8 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

Uh-oh. Ahh! A nutritious snack! Please spare me, Mr. Cat! I've got a wife and six kids! Who...uh...are away visiting my mother for an indefinite period of time?... Fish who live in glass houses shouldn't fib.

9 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

What are you doing today, Garfield? I thought I'd finish my memoirs, and then paint the house. I sense sarcasm. ...and then it's on to community service.

10 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

All I ask is that you move enough so I don't have to dust you. Work! Work! Work!

11 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

Z Z Z His daisy-stomping dream.

12 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

I had a busy day. Me too. Mine was about eight years ago.

13 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

Cats in the jungle must hunt for every meal. I used to do that... Before we put the pizza place on the speed dial.

14 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

You know, some cats jump up and romp about the house for no reason at all. So... Not in our lifetime.

15 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

RIIING! * Hello? Yes?.....YES?.... YES?! yeeeeesssssss?... I /sincerely/ apologize... That's my cue to hide behind the drapes for an hour.

16 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

Wouldn't you like to have a cat like me around your house? You do have a cookie jar, don't you?

17 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

And the winner of the "Bird of the Year" award is... Stan the sparrow! I'll be accepting on Stan's (burp) behalf.

18 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

Odie, I want you to go far away. Far, far away. One more "far" there, pal...

19 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

Here's a picture of my grandfather's elbow. I see the resemblance.

20 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

Why won't you go out with me, Cindy? You're getting a root canal? Mind if I tag along? Won't she be suffering enough?

21 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

I feel like having some fun! The feeling is starting to fade. Maybe you're having fun and don't know it.

22 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

click Cats of the world, unite! It's time to burn our collars and throw off the yoke of oppression! We have suffered under the heel of the humans for far too long! The time to act has arrived! The time to Oh, Flu-ffy! * Uh...thetime to... Flu-ffy! Dinner!

23 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

Sigh...another day of toil. No sense lying around. Better get busy. These cartoons won't watch themselves.

24 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

Today's program is brought to you by a product we couldn't care less about. We're being cancelled at the end of the season, so it hardly matters anyway... Hey, Petey Everett from third grade...BITE me! Too bad it's ending...it's gettingbetter.

25 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

Woof! Woof! Woof!...Uh... Line? "Woof," you idiot! In his defense, it WAS a long speech.

26 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

And now the farm report. Dan, little Nancy Slobo was bitten by a cow today. The incident occured during a game of "Slap the Udder". Cows hate that.

27 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

We at channel 31 are dedicated to quality programming. Informative, educational and responsible, that's us! We now return to "World's Ugliest People". Look at that nose!

28 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

Doctor, what is the difference between cats and dogs? Well, dogs have a high degree of loyalty. Where as a cat would turn in its own mother. Only if there's a reward.

29 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

Garfield! Mail's here! It arrived! It arrived! Hey, Garfield! Notice anything different about me? New cologne?

30 January 2000
 


 
Garfield

Friends may come and friends may go... But a teddy bear is forever. poit!

31 January 2000
 




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