A toast: to the new year! - clink - This does not bode well... It's not a very good sign, either.
1 January 2000
- - - - - - Happy new year. Not so louuud.
2 January 2000
Garfield, let's just sit here and think deep thoughts. - - Do monkeys marry? Come back! You're too deep!
3 January 2000
I take no pleasure in kicking Odie. - BOOT! - I do, however, enjoy watching him claw at the air on the way down.
4 January 2000
Getting a little plump, aren't we? Plump? - Plump, you say? - Put it back. Plump is history.
5 January 2000
Garfield, I just had a thought! - - Darn! Slippery little devils.
6 January 2000
Ellen siad not to call her anymore. - She says it's too expensive. - She says every time I call she rips the phone out the wall. Badda boom.
7 January 2000
I have a lot of things on my schedule. - Whoa. - All I have on mine is a little ketchup.
8 January 2000
Uh-oh. - Ahh! A nutritious snack! - Please spare me, Mr. Cat! I've got a wife and six kids! - - - Who...uh...are away visiting my mother for an indefinite period of time?... - Fish who live in glass houses shouldn't fib.
9 January 2000
What are you doing today, Garfield? - I thought I'd finish my memoirs, and then paint the house. - I sense sarcasm. ...and then it's on to community service.
10 January 2000
- All I ask is that you move enough so I don't have to dust you. - Work! Work! Work!
11 January 2000
Z - Z - Z His daisy-stomping dream.
12 January 2000
I had a busy day. - Me too. - Mine was about eight years ago.
13 January 2000
Cats in the jungle must hunt for every meal. - I used to do that... - Before we put the pizza place on the speed dial.
14 January 2000
You know, some cats jump up and romp about the house for no reason at all. - - So... Not in our lifetime.
15 January 2000
- RIIING! * - Hello? - Yes?.....YES?.... - YES?! - yeeeeesssssss?... - I /sincerely/ apologize... That's my cue to hide behind the drapes for an hour.
16 January 2000
Wouldn't you like to have a cat like me around your house? - - You do have a cookie jar, don't you?
17 January 2000
And the winner of the "Bird of the Year" award is... - Stan the sparrow! - I'll be accepting on Stan's (burp) behalf.
18 January 2000
Odie, I want you to go far away. - Far, far away. - One more "far" there, pal...
19 January 2000
Here's a picture of my grandfather's elbow. - - I see the resemblance.
20 January 2000
Why won't you go out with me, Cindy? - You're getting a root canal? - Mind if I tag along? Won't she be suffering enough?
21 January 2000
I feel like having some fun! - - The feeling is starting to fade. Maybe you're having fun and don't know it.
22 January 2000
click - Cats of the world, unite! - It's time to burn our collars and throw off the yoke of oppression! - We have suffered under the heel of the humans for far too long! - The time to act has arrived! The time to- Oh, Flu-ffy! * - Uh...the
23 January 2000
Sigh...another day of toil. - No sense lying around. Better get busy. - These cartoons won't watch themselves.
24 January 2000
Today's program is brought to you by a product we couldn't care less about. - We're being cancelled at the end of the season, so it hardly matters anyway... - Hey, Petey Everett from third grade...BITE me! - Too bad it's ending...it's getting
25 January 2000
Woof! Woof! - Woof!...Uh... - Line? "Woof," you idiot! In his defense, it WAS a long speech.
26 January 2000
And now the farm report. - Dan, little Nancy Slobo was bitten by a cow today. - The incident occured during a game of "Slap the Udder". Cows hate that.
27 January 2000
We at channel 31 are dedicated to quality programming. - Informative, educational and responsible, that's us! - We now return to "World's Ugliest People". Look at that nose!
28 January 2000
Doctor, what is the difference between cats and dogs? - Well, dogs have a high degree of loyalty. - Where as a cat would turn in its own mother. Only if there's a reward.
29 January 2000
- Garfield! Mail's here! - It arrived! It arrived! - - Hey, Garfield! Notice anything different about me? - - New cologne?
30 January 2000
Friends may come and friends may go... - But a teddy bear is forever. - poit!
31 January 2000