** DING-DONG The guy is here to fix the roof.
1 November 2000
** DING-DONG Can we spare a cup of ants?
2 November 2000
** DING-DONG Do you want your car washed?
3 November 2000
** DING-DONG Who was it? I never discuss existentialism before noon.
4 November 2000
What a beautiful day! Only one little cloud. ...one stinking little cloud.
5 November 2000
It's almost time to eat. What think, Garfield? I'm going to say this once, Jon. Anytime I'm NOT eating is "almost time to eat".
6 November 2000
Hey, Odie! Never mind.
7 November 2000
I wonder where Jon is? The toes on my right foot are hairier than the toes on my left foot! LEt's pretend I couldn't find him.
8 November 2000
Do you think you get enough exercise? Exercise? Do I get enough exercise?! I think I just pulled a muscle.
9 November 2000
CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?! Because your date is at the door.
10 November 2000
I made a list of the things we need from the grocery... "Everything". Get two. I'm hungry!
11 November 2000
bzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzz zzzzz zip Gotcha! GRAB Hey... Are you gonna eat that?...Dinner's running late. Fine. Any last words?
12 November 2000
If you squish me, you'll hate yourself in the morning! Not likely. I'm never up before noon.
13 November 2000
You squished my mother! You squished my father! You squished my brother! You squished my sister! You squished my sister! You squished my sister! You squished my brother! You squished my sister! You squished my brother! You squished mybrother! You squishe
14 November 2000
Oh, great...my hands are asleep and my nose itches! a-HEM Howzat? Sa'right.
15 November 2000
Hey, cat, this is my cousin, Louie the Tarantula. SMACK! Who, by the way, I never really liked.
16 November 2000
I had a moth for dinner last night. Was it good? You bet! Flame broiled to perfection on th eporch light...num!
17 November 2000
I feel like taking on the world! ? -
18 November 2000
RRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRR Okay, Garfield...I left you a spot. Whatta guy.
19 November 2000
This is interesting... Say here your pet's name should reflect its personality. What think, sloth boy? Could be, thimble brain.
20 November 2000
I'm bored. You're also boring. You do it all!
21 November 2000
No, that's not it. It was a stick! I hate fetch.
22 November 2000
Hi, I'm Howie the Happy Turkey! Brrrr...I'm cold! Would you put me in the oven? Stop it, Garfield. I wanna be a sandwich!
23 November 2000
Ellen, this is Jon. CLICK Oh, no! Someone cut her phone line! Sound like a job for a denial man.
24 November 2000
I remember the mischief we got into as kids. We'd sneak up to a house... And flip their welcome mat over! Ah, that would explain your key collection.
25 November 2000
Hmmm...forgot the catsup. * click WOOP WOOP Step away from the meat loaf! I sense a lack of trust here.
26 November 2000
The chicks, they just aren't digging me, Garfield. I gotta do something. Well, Jon, perhaps you should strive to become more empathetic to the female psyche. That would enable you to establish a more meaningful dialog, thus contributingto deeper, more rew
27 November 2000
See that girl staring at me, Garfield? She can't help it. I'm a chick magnet. An absent-minded chick magnet.
28 November 2000
Marsha, I'm looking for an old-fashioned girl. A girl with solid family values... A girl who can milk a goat dry in three minutes flat! Bye-bye, Marsha.
29 November 2000
Yesiree, Garfield, there are a lot of women out there. Yesiree...plenty of fish in the sea. I'll just cast out the old line. Your bait's dead.
30 November 2000