** DING-DONG - - The guy is here to fix the roof.
1 November 2000
** DING-DONG - - Can we spare a cup of ants?
2 November 2000
** DING-DONG - - Do you want your car washed?
3 November 2000
** DING-DONG - - Who was it? I never discuss existentialism before noon.
4 November 2000
- What a beautiful day! - - - - Only one little cloud. - ...one stinking little cloud.
5 November 2000
It's almost time to eat. - What think, Garfield? I'm going to say this once, Jon. - Anytime I'm NOT eating is "almost time to eat".
6 November 2000
Hey, Odie! - - Never mind.
7 November 2000
I wonder where Jon is? - The toes on my right foot are hairier than the toes on my left foot! - LEt's pretend I couldn't find him.
8 November 2000
Do you think you get enough exercise? Exercise? - Do I get enough exercise?! - I think I just pulled a muscle.
9 November 2000
- CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! - WHY DID YOU DO THAT?! Because your date is at the door.
10 November 2000
I made a list of the things we need from the grocery... - - "Everything". Get two. I'm hungry!
11 November 2000
- bzzzzzzzzzzz - zzzzzz - zzzzz - zip Gotcha! GRAB - Hey... - Are you gonna eat that?...
12 November 2000
If you squish me, you'll hate yourself in the morning! - Not likely. - I'm never up before noon.
13 November 2000
You squished my mother! You squished my father! - You squished my brother! You squished my sister! You squished my sister! You squished my sister! You squished my brother! You squished my sister! - You squished my brother! You squished my
14 November 2000
Oh, great...my hands are asleep and my nose itches! - a-HEM - Howzat? Sa'right.
15 November 2000
Hey, cat, this is my cousin, Louie the Tarantula. - SMACK! - Who, by the way, I never really liked.
16 November 2000
I had a moth for dinner last night. - Was it good? You bet! - Flame broiled to perfection on th eporch light...num!
17 November 2000
I feel like taking on the world! - ? -
18 November 2000
- RRRRRRRRRR - RRRRRRRRRRR - RRRRRRRRRR - RRRRRRRRRR - Okay, Garfield...I left you a spot. - Whatta guy.
19 November 2000
This is interesting... - Say here your pet's name should reflect its personality. - What think, sloth boy? Could be, thimble brain.
20 November 2000
I'm bored. - You're also boring. - You do it all!
21 November 2000
No, that's not it. - It was a stick! - I hate fetch.
22 November 2000
Hi, I'm Howie the Happy Turkey! - Brrrr...I'm cold! Would you put me in the oven? - Stop it, Garfield. I wanna be a sandwich!
23 November 2000
Ellen, this is Jon. - CLICK - Oh, no! Someone cut her phone line! Sound like a job for a denial man.
24 November 2000
I remember the mischief we got into as kids. - We'd sneak up to a house... - And flip their welcome mat over! Ah, that would explain your key collection.
25 November 2000
- - Hmmm...forgot the catsup. - - * - click WOOP WOOP - Step away from the meat loaf! I sense a lack of trust here.
26 November 2000
The chicks, they just aren't digging me, Garfield. I gotta do something. - Well, Jon, perhaps you should strive to become more empathetic to the female psyche. - That would enable you to establish a more meaningful dialog, thus contributing
27 November 2000
See that girl staring at me, Garfield? - She can't help it. - I'm a chick magnet. An absent-minded chick magnet.
28 November 2000
Marsha, I'm looking for an old-fashioned girl. - A girl with solid family values... - A girl who can milk a goat dry in three minutes flat! Bye-bye, Marsha.
29 November 2000
Yesiree, Garfield, there are a lot of women out there. - Yesiree...plenty of fish in the sea. - I'll just cast out the old line. Your bait's dead.
30 November 2000