Hello, Grandma? This is Jon. - Well, I'm a little sad. I can't seem to get a date. - She says that's because I'm a dork. I'm sure she meant it in the best possible way.
1 December 2000
You don't remember me, Becky? - No? All right! - Really? Ask her out!
2 December 2000
SLUP - Well, Garfield... - The holidays are coming up... - And it's quiet here... - Too quiet... - WAAAY to quiet... - Maybe I should sing... HARRUMPH MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! slap slap slap slap bam bam bam bam
3 December 2000
I wonder if Garfield knows Christmas is coming soon. - HUG - He knows.
4 December 2000
Snow always makes it feel more christmasy... - - Well, fah lah, lah lah lah...
5 December 2000
What is that snowman doing in the living room? - - Melting.
6 December 2000
Jon's decorating the Christmas tree. - ZZT - Frayed extension cord. That ain't all that's frayed, pal.
7 December 2000
- SMACK - Got a nifty tree topper. Go away!
8 December 2000
Just remember: Santa is WATCHING you. - - Here's to you, big guy!
9 December 2000
- WHUMP! - WHUMP! - ? - WHUMP! - Just testing. - Needs more lard.
10 December 2000
I remember christmases when I was growing up... - ...dad carving the roast fly... - ...the yule gnat burning in the fireplace... You're putting me off my eggnog here.
11 December 2000
I remember back on the farm, we had an electric toy train that ran around the Christmas tree. - Then one year Doc Boy licked the track. - He glowed for three days. I take back everything I said about him no being very bright.
12 December 2000
Behold: the candy cane... - A holiday icon...sleek...dazzling in its simplicity. - And too darn tasty to pontificate on any longer.
13 December 2000
- Haaaaahhhh Mmmmmm - Candy cane breath.
14 December 2000
Let's make a deal... - You tell me where you've hidden my Christmas present... - And I won't rip your lips off and throw them on the roof. I don't like that look.
15 December 2000
...so what would you say to Santa if he looked you straight in the eye and asked, "have you been GOOD this year?" - Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - That's a kitty cat cop-out. So what? I'm desperate.
16 December 2000
Gad... - I can't take much more of this... - The waiting... - The not knowing... - How is ANYone supposed to stand this kind of suspense. - For...for... - Eight more days. EIGHT MORE DAYS?!!
17 December 2000
slam! - IT WAS HORRIBLE! I BARELY ESCAPED WITH MY LIFE!! - Christmas shopping at the mall.
18 December 2000
Garfield! - That was the shopping mall calling! - Santa's elf wants his booties back. The crybaby.
19 December 2000
Look what came, Garfield...a Christmas package from my mom! - - Okay, I'm going to cut the string... Careful...don't spill the gravy.
20 December 2000
Have you been climbing the Christmas tree? - Not ours. - ** DING DONG Cover for me.
21 December 2000
Sigh...what great Christmas memories... - But, you know, we shouldn't live in the past... I certainly don't. - I live for the PRESENT!
22 December 2000
I'm very sorry, Mrs. Feeny. Happy holidays to you. - She says you left a present on her doormat. 'tis the season for giving. - A hairball?!! I made it myself.
23 December 2000
- - - pant pant pant - pant pant pant - squeak squeak squeak -
24 December 2000
I love Christmas. So do I. - And I love you, Garfield. So do I. - And we all love you! Merry Christmas!
25 December 2000
So long, Christmas! Good-bye! - - Don't be a stranger!
26 December 2000
Hi, Denise, it's Jon! Are you doing anything for New Years's? - - I mean BESIDES avoiding me at all costs. Zing!
27 December 2000
Nobody will go out with me on new year's. - Don't feel bad, Jon. - They wouldn't go out with you even if it weren't new year's. pat pat pat pat
28 December 2000
WHY can't I get a date?! - What am I? Ugly?...No! What am I? Impolite?...No! What a I? Boring?... - Z OH, SHUT UP!
29 December 2000
Dating is overrated. - New year's overrated. - Dates on new year's, however, are not. WAAAH!
30 December 2000
- Ten...nine... - eight...seven... - six...five... - four...three... - two...ONE... - Garfield, it's seven in the morning... Practice makes perfect! HAPPY NEW YEAR!
31 December 2000