This was my great uncle Norbert. He was a color-blind electrician. He had more trouble with those read and black wires. Interesting hair style.
1 May 2000
There's my great uncle Floyd. He drove a dynamite truck. And there he is again... and there, and there, and there...
2 May 2000
This is a picture of "Scraps," our neighbor's dog on the farm. Boy, he loved to play fetch. Then, one day he chased a stick right into a thresher. At least he lived up to his name.
3 May 2000
...and here's good old uncle Buford, a lifelong bachelor. I never could figure out why. Maybe it was that third arm... Couldn't exactly shop off of the rack, could he?
4 May 2000
...and there's cousin leonard. He believed he'd been kidnapped by aliens. The aliens, of course, denied the whole thing. Okay, NOW I'm frigthened. Are you frigthened?
5 May 2000
There's old uncle Enos... He was the state champion apple corer. He had three medals. And six fingers too, I see.
6 May 2000
Mister big shot! Not so high and mighty without your newspaper, are you?! Well, now the advantage is MINE! Ha ha ha ha ha!! FLINK Z I loathe you.
7 May 2000
ATTENTION, THERE! I HAVE tHE BEAR! COME OUT OF THE BED NOW! You'll never take me awake!
8 May 2000
When you're overweight, you have questions... How is my energy?... How is my health?... Am I wearing loafers?
9 May 2000
I taught Odie a new trick! Who broke this vase?! Take the rap, Odie! Take the rap!
10 May 2000
Thanks, doctor. GARFIELD, THAT WAS THE VET'S OFFICE! YOU HAVE A FUNGUS! Great! Say it a little louder, why don't you?!
11 May 2000
No one has ever regretted going out with me, Gina. Well, maybe they got a little upset. All right! They changed their names and moved! But no regrets.
12 May 2000
Always stretch before you exercise. Got it. Never stretch.
13 May 2000
Nobody understands me! Not you! And not you! Oh, maybe my sock puppet understands me a LITTLE... But not YOU guys! And that's a good thing, right, Odie?
14 May 2000
Jon's doing a little home improvement today. * TWANG He's just attempting to adjust his recliner. CRASH!
15 May 2000
Welcome, you're just within time! Jon is screwing in a light bulb. screw screw screw KLUNK! screw screw screw KLUNK! Darn! Clockwise, brain boy!
16 May 2000
Welcome back. Today, Jon is... -replacing a washer in the kitchen faucet. ABANDON HOUSE!!
17 May 2000
Hey! A chocolate donut! POW! Hey! Where's my inner tube?!
18 May 2000
Friday night: I bet the ringer is busted. Right sure, yeah, we'll run with that.
19 May 2000
whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr BLEEEAACCKKK YACK ACK ACK ACK G-G-G-G-GACK Stupid blender! Aw, that was your best necktie, too.
20 May 2000
* riiing * riiing Hello? Yes, Mrs. Feeny? ...your little dog? ...collar taken? ...shaved bald? ...painted green? -uh-huh? Yeesh. No, he's been here asleep all day. Yes, all day, really, uh-huh...goodbye. *
21 May 2000
So, Garfield. How's the laziness business? Slow.
22 May 2000
Cats and mice are SUPPOSED to be enemies! Fascinating. Merits discussion. Cheese? My place.
23 May 2000
I'm tired of looking at that face of yours, Odie. Cool! Now do a hamster!
24 May 2000
AAA! AAA! LEG CRAMP! LEG CRAMP! It's always about YOU, isn't it?
25 May 2000
** DING-DONG Are you Jon's date? ...stamp your foot once for yes and twice for no.
26 May 2000
27 May 2000
Garfield, I feel that life is passing us by. Passing us by...heck, it's lapped us.
28 May 2000
...and what do we have for the runners-up, Bob? We have a lovely parting gift for each of them Chuck... One-way tickets to LOSERville! At last, an honest game show.
29 May 2000
Welcome to the All-Opera Channel. click Welcome to "Great Works of Literature". click Welcome to "Professional Monkey Wrestling". At last!
30 May 2000
Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woob! CUT! Real dumb.
31 May 2000