This was my great uncle Norbert. - He was a color-blind electrician. - He had more trouble with those read and black wires. Interesting hair style.
1 May 2000
There's my great uncle Floyd. He drove a dynamite truck. - And there he is again... - and there, and there, and there...
2 May 2000
This is a picture of "Scraps," our neighbor's dog on the farm. - Boy, he loved to play fetch. - Then, one day he chased a stick right into a thresher. At least he lived up to his name.
3 May 2000
...and here's good old uncle Buford, a lifelong bachelor. - I never could figure out why. - Maybe it was that third arm... Couldn't exactly shop off of the rack, could he?
4 May 2000
...and there's cousin leonard. - He believed he'd been kidnapped by aliens. - The aliens, of course, denied the whole thing. - Okay, NOW I'm frigthened. Are you frigthened?
5 May 2000
There's old uncle Enos... - He was the state champion apple corer. - He had three medals. And six fingers too, I see.
6 May 2000
- - Mister big shot! - Not so high and mighty without your newspaper, are you?! - Well, now the advantage is MINE! Ha ha ha ha ha!! - FLINK - Z I loathe you.
7 May 2000
ATTENTION, THERE! - I HAVE tHE BEAR! - COME OUT OF THE BED NOW! You'll never take me awake!
8 May 2000
When you're overweight, you have questions... - How is my energy?... How is my health?... - Am I wearing loafers?
9 May 2000
I taught Odie a new trick! - Who broke this vase?! - Take the rap, Odie! Take the rap!
10 May 2000
Thanks, doctor. - GARFIELD, THAT WAS THE VET'S OFFICE! - YOU HAVE A FUNGUS! Great! Say it a little louder, why don't you?!
11 May 2000
No one has ever regretted going out with me, Gina. - Well, maybe they got a little upset. - All right! They changed their names and moved! But no regrets.
12 May 2000
Always stretch before you exercise. - Got it. - Never stretch.
13 May 2000
- Nobody understands me! - Not you! - And not you! - Oh, maybe my sock puppet understands me a LITTLE... - But not YOU guys! - And that's a good thing, right, Odie?
14 May 2000
Jon's doing a little home improvement today. * TWANG - - He's just attempting to adjust his recliner. CRASH!
15 May 2000
Welcome, you're just within time! Jon is screwing in a light bulb. screw screw screw KLUNK! - screw screw screw KLUNK! - Darn! Clockwise, brain boy!
16 May 2000
Welcome back. Today, Jon is... - - -replacing a washer in the kitchen faucet. ABANDON HOUSE!!
17 May 2000
Hey! A chocolate donut! - POW! - Hey! Where's my inner tube?!
18 May 2000
Friday night: - - I bet the ringer is busted. Right sure, yeah, we'll run with that.
19 May 2000
whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - BLEEEAACCKKK YACK ACK ACK ACK G-G-G-G-GACK - Stupid blender! Aw, that was your best necktie, too.
20 May 2000
* riiing - * riiing Hello? - Yes, Mrs. Feeny? ...your little dog? ...collar taken? ...shaved bald? ...painted green? ---uh-huh? Yeesh. - No, he's been here asleep all day. Yes, all day, really, uh-huh...goodbye. - - - *
21 May 2000
So, Garfield. - How's the laziness business? - Slow.
22 May 2000
Cats and mice are SUPPOSED to be enemies! - Fascinating. - Merits discussion. Cheese? My place.
23 May 2000
I'm tired of looking at that face of yours, Odie. - - Cool! Now do a hamster!
24 May 2000
- AAA! AAA! - LEG CRAMP! LEG CRAMP! It's always about YOU, isn't it?
25 May 2000
** DING-DONG - Are you Jon's date? - ...stamp your foot once for yes and twice for no.
26 May 2000
- - SIGH
27 May 2000
- - Garfield, I feel that life is passing us by. - - - - Passing us by...heck, it's lapped us.
28 May 2000
...and what do we have for the runners-up, Bob? - We have a lovely parting gift for each of them Chuck... - One-way tickets to LOSERville! At last, an honest game show.
29 May 2000
Welcome to the All-Opera Channel. click - Welcome to "Great Works of Literature". click - Welcome to "Professional Monkey Wrestling". At last!
30 May 2000
Woof! Woof! - Woof! Woof! - Woof! Woob! CUT! Real dumb.
31 May 2000