So, Jon, what movie are we seeing? "Sludge Monster VII: The Oozing". Would you like a bucket of popcorn? No, just the bucket, please.
1 July 2000
mmmmm YAWN a-HEM Sigh a-HEM
2 July 2000
Isn't this great, Liz? I've been waiting for weeks to see this movie! Pardon me. Look! It's starting! Excuse me...pardon me... I * Elvis
3 July 2000
You HAD to change seats, didn't you? I couldn't see with that fat gux in front of me. But this is the front row! My eyes are crossing. At least we won't get nosebleeds. My neck is stiff. And if those sprinklers go off, we'll drown!
4 July 2000
Boy, that popcorn sure smells good, doesn't it? Uh, excuse me... Get your own!
5 July 2000
Pretty scary movie,, huh Liz? If you get too frightened, feel free to throw your arms around me. RAAAHHHHRR!!! My knight in shining armor. suck suck suck suck suck suck More like your sissy in double knit.
6 July 2000
Thank you for the movie, Jon. You're very sweet. And I'd just like to say... HONK! HONK! HONK! GARFIELD! If you don't stop honking that horn, I'm going to rip it out off the steering column and shove it up your nose! SLAM! Hello?
7 July 2000
S'matter, hon? Unlucky at love? You can tell? Yeah, you have that look. What look is that? You look like you're having coffee in a siut with your cat in a diner on a saturday night. The woman is psychic.
8 July 2000
Hello, cat. Hello, tree. Feel like a nice climb up me? Not a chance. Very clever, but the answer is still no. Nice try. * ding Oh, I'm weakening.
9 July 2000
Happy monday. The mother of all oxymorons.
10 July 2000
There's a dead bird on the lawn...must've flown into a window. Poor dumb animal. WHACK! Sliding glass door.
11 July 2000
Psst, hey pal...c'mere. Wanny buy a watch?
12 July 2000
** DING-DONG Do we need any truffels?
13 July 2000
Barbara, would you like to go out with. CLICK Hello? ... Hello?! I don't believe it! We were cut off! It must be very peaceful in Jonland.
14 July 2000
* chirp chirp chirp * chirp ch... ...irp
15 July 2000
GA ping R zing F wing I E GULP L Seconds? D
16 July 2000
I smell hamburgers. Do you smell hamburgers? Maybe you should move that thing outside. But I AM outside.
17 July 2000
Well, the battery in my car is dead again. I can't understand how I keep forgetting to turn my headlights off! About your night games...
18 July 2000
I'm declaring this house free of mice! And, if anybody asks, you're a hamster.
19 July 2000
* NOK NOK The aluminium siding has to go. But it was such a deal!
20 July 2000
saw saw saw Where are you going? Switzerland.
21 July 2000
Yes, what's the best way to get rid of mice? Gee, what a grear idea! "Get...a......cat". I'm drowning in sarcasm here.
22 July 2000
Ahem... Can you spare a cup of crickets? Sorry. How a bout a pinch of gnats? No can do, pal. Dot any diced dung beetle? Darn, just ran out. Minced millipede? Had it for leftovers last night. A fistful of fuit flies? If you hadstopped by yesterday... Well,
23 July 2000
Smile and the whole world smiles with you. I'll never do that again.
24 July 2000
All is well in my world. We were out of shampoo, so I used floor wax! Fortunately, Jon is not in my world.
25 July 2000
They say having a pet can lower your blood pressure. They say having a pet can relax you. I need a 5/16 drill bit. ...so they say.
26 July 2000
Did you know that dogs pant to cool themselves? pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant And to annoy me?
27 July 2000
Ellen, what say we drive out to Lovers' Lane tonight? Oh, there's a place you'd rather go? No, I've neve rheard of "You make me puke" Lane. I know that place.
28 July 2000
I think I'll lie here for a while. Then, after that... I think I'll lie here for a while.
29 July 2000
-click tappy tappy type type tappy tappy type -click Your order has been processed, thank you. "www.dingleball.com"?
30 July 2000
It's the crown prince of laziness! All hail his highness, Prince Fat Slob! Off with his mouth!
31 July 2000