1978 1979 1980 1981 1982 1983 1984 1985 1986 1987 1988 1989 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017
 
 


 
   
Garfield

Here's your mail. And here's the mailman's wallet. Leave the poor man alone! Boy, are his kids ugly.

1 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

What do you want to do? OKay. -

2 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Home is where you can walk around in your underwear. Home is where you can drink milk out of the carton. Home is where you can scratch where it itches.

3 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I met a reporter yesterday, Garfield. She was looking for a human-interest story. She took my picture! "Park Attracts Geeks"

4 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Friday night... And I'm home with a cat! Could anyone be more depressed?

5 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

My life stinks, Garfield...like a wet dog. Like old sweat socks... Like... I GET THE POINT!

6 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

donk! Donk? Donk? donk donk donk donk donk Wow! Look at that! donk donk donk donk Golf ball-sized hail! donk donk donk donk donk -He really should seek professional help. donk thwock

7 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I didn't buy any kitty treats, Garfield, and you know why? Because life is not a treat, that's why. Rmeember that as I pull out a neck hair.

8 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I have things to do! I have places to go! So, that's what having a life feels like. Never hurts to practice.

9 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Time to reflect on the day... YAAAAAHHH!! Why do you do that to yourself?

10 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie...a water balloon... A claw... That didn't turn out quite how I had hoped.

11 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

"The crew of the doomed ship had lost hope." "Provisions gone...no one had eaten in days..." "The ship's cat appeared on the deck..." Bedtime!

12 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

We had a cat back on the farm, Garfield. He was a great ratter. The bigger the better! You would have liked him. I don't hang with psychos.

13 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Yes?... You WILL go out with me?!...if I what?... cluck-cluck-buck.buc-buc-buc-kaww... Am I what? Yes, I'm flapping my arms. Heaven forbid he should embarrass himself in front of the cat.

14 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Quiet on the set! ACTION! Nice try.

15 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

All is right in my universe. Stringmaaaan! Gotta get a smaller universe.

16 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I have many hopes and dreams for the future. I have a salami sandwich! How about dreaming up some iced tea?

17 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Been eating those fruit-shaped refrigerator magnets again? Maybe.

18 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT My parents wanted me to be a sweater, but noooooo...

19 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Empires raise and fall. SE?! WHY RISE?!

20 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

bip bip boop beep boop Hello, is Evelyn there? What's that? She doesn't live there anymore? She's hopped a freighter for Borneo? She's forsworn all her material possessions and modern ways of living? Wow. She didn't mention thaton our date last night. You

21 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Today wasn't a good day. But I guess it wasn't a bad day either. So you're saying it wasn't a day at all.

22 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm not going to shed anymore. I've contracted the job out. -

23 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Out there are all of nature's wonders! In here are corn chips and dip. I want it all!

24 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Crime, taxes, war, strife... Natural disasters, economic ruin... Sigh... There sure is a lot of shedding in this world.

25 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Make a note, Garfield. Never eat a goldfish right before bedtime.

26 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

You! Remember this! It's not polite to point!

27 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

FOOMP -

28 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Good movie on tonight, Garfield. Herbie the Chipmunk in... "Attack of the Tiny Herbivores". I guess all the scary animals have been used up.

29 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

"Moby Dick". Big whale...obsessed sea captain...chase...fight...Ahab buys the farm, Moby swims into sunset. The End. Tune in again for "Ten-Second Stories". Next week they're doing "War and Peace".

30 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Today on "Everybody Corner," my lovely assistant and I will be demonstrating correct plucking techniques. poink! OW! JERK! pssst! PEPPER SPRAY! GAAHH! SECURITY! I love TV.

31 January 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's Earl with the early-morning farm report. Van, there's nothing but dirt as far as the eye can see. Earl, any tractor sightings? City boys.

1 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

We're visiting Rex the Stunt Dog. Rex, what do you get paid for all those dangerous stunts? Well, they pat me on the head a lot. The dumb work cheap.

2 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

The remote is broken. click click And I'm watching "The History of Norwegian Flowerpots". Lethargy certainly expands your horizons.

3 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Greetings. Every animal has a special place... We cats favor windowsills. The luxury of lying in the warm sunlight... The panoramic view of the world...the passing parade of humanity. We cats favor the floor...

4 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, mom. Oh, thr same old thing. Right now I'm dusting the cat. Hee hee hee

5 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I hear something in the basement! It could be a HUGE rat! Doesn't that inflame your primal instincts? Yes, I'll be in the car.

6 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Reserved Reserved Is it possible that I've lost the element of surprise?

7 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie dug up the flowers in the garden! Oops Odie dug up the flowers in the garden!

8 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Congratulations, you have won the gran dprize! An evening with me. The excitement was too much. Probably a stomach virus.

9 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Nobody can stretch like a cat. YAWN Hey!

10 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm pretty much sick of winter. ENOUGH WITH tHE SNOW ALREADY! zip

11 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I have a simple philosophy, Garfield. Laugh and the world laughs with you. In fact, I can hear them now. They camp on the lawn.

12 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

POOF! I am the Genie of the Cookie Jar! You have three wishes! Where's a cookie when you need one?

13 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm not doing anything today, Garfield. Atta boy. I'm being lazy. My hero. I'm not even changing your litter boy. Psycho!

14 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, let's savor this moment. I have a banana in my ear. Someday we'll remember when you tripped over me coming back from the grocery...and laugh! There are grapes in my nose. These are the good old days! I'm going to kill you.

15 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Enjoy your dinner, Garfield? Very tasty. I call it "Back-of-the-fridge-bottom-shelf-behind-the-baking-soda stew". I can only make it about once every five years. That's just a little bit more than I needed to know.

16 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm bored, tired and hungry. Yeah, but can you shed? Huh? Huh?

17 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

* * Pooky! You're WARM! You've been hugged recently, and NOT by me! Have you been hugging around?! I just got your bear out of the dryer. I'm such a jealous fool!

18 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Chicks dig the tough-guy look. So I got this leather jacket. What think, Garfield? It goes well with your bunny slippers.

19 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm not your type?! Well just wht is your type? Human? Picky, picky, picky.

20 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Cindy just called. PLPLPLPLPLPL!! She said I was immature. What does she know?

21 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Would you repeat thet? You WILL go out with me?! Hello?...Hello? Jon will be right back. He's in the front yard doing his happy chicken dance. Yes! Yes! Oh, yes!

22 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I have a date with Ginny tonight. She loves to laugh. I have three hours to get a sense of humor. I'll ge tthe fake forehead faucet.

23 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Some kids have been ringing our doorbell and running. This bucket of water will teach them a lesson! DING DONG My date will be here any second. I don't think so.

24 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

ooooooooog... gurgle argle argle noogle argle gargle oogle arguley doogley rarg-a roog oog oog a-choob It has a nice melody, but you can't dance to it. Hungry cats have no sense of humor.

25 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

There are two reasons why I hate spiders. They're sneaky... SPLAT! And I suspect they're stealing food. CLANK DONK

26 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm the avenging spider! kick scratch scratch I strike again!

27 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Go away. Aha! Is it my violent nature and ruthless heritage that threatens you?... Or is it my imposing, hairy body and long venomous fangs? It's your fly breath. And now go away.

28 February 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

SMACK! You're late. Sorry.

1 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't have time to stop! SMACK! You must learn to relax. How's this?

2 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

SPIDER! Wait! Spiders eat insects! INSECT EATER! SMACK!

3 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

WHACK! ? Wheeeeeeeeee!! BLAT!

4 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

SLORP! SLURP! SLUP! SLURP! Please, Garfield, thare's nothing more disgusting than that! SLORP! SLUP! Except that.

5 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, help! I locked myself out getting the paper! Hurry! I don't have any pants on! I'm wearing the puppy underwear! Then come in through the pet door.

6 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Tomorrow, I'm going back to getting dressed AFTER I take my shower! Well, at least you tried something.

7 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

RRRrrrrrrr Garfield, was that the blender? Forget it, I don't want to know. Bunny-slipper frappe?

8 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I know how to get a woman's attraction. WHO WANTS TO HEAR SOME BARNYARD IMITATIONS?! Well, that got her attention. I didn't know anyone could run that fast in heels.

9 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Heh, heh, heh... Oh, the trouble I could cause! If my claws weren't stuck in the table.

10 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

SLUP My coffee's cold. Boy, I hate cold coffee. Hate it, hate it, hate it. Nopem there's nothing worse in the world than cold coffee. slap slap slap I'll bet if I tried as hard as I could, I couldn't possibly think of anything worsethan cold coffee. twitc

11 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

C'mon, Garfield...up an' at 'em! LIFE is calling! Tell life to leave a message.

12 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

...it's not like I haven't done anything with my life... Oh, wait a minute... Yes, it is!

13 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

You apologize to Odie for what you did to him, or I'll punish you severely! Punish me severely.

14 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Wanna hear about my day? NO I'm not paying for this card!

15 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

There are many, many things I will never understand. And they're all women. A rare moment of honesty.

16 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

This is "NAtional Ugly Fish Week". So eat an ugly fish today... And leave the planet that much less ugly. Slogan needs work.

17 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Enjoy the little thingsand the big things will take care of themselves.

18 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Ma, can I ask you something? Of course, Timmy. Can I have a pet? A pet? He followed me home, ma. You're not very bright, are you, Timmy?

19 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Watch out for the spider! Some lookout you are. Sorry.

20 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

You'd better not mess with me! Know why? SMACK! Because you're so tough? And don't you forget it.

21 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

...and with a kiss from the beautiful princess... The frog turned into a handsome spider... Which the princess stomped flat! Hey! Hey! Stick to the story!

22 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, cat, I'm gonna hop on your neck and suck out all your bodily fluids. WHACK! Hey! You crimped my sraw!

23 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

This is my college intern. SMACK! He does good work. *I* think so.

24 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I'll be shaving, in case anyone calls for me. buzzzzzzzzzzzzz buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz click Just checking...did anyone call? The paranoia police send their regards.

25 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Life stinks. You should have a more positive attitude. Life stinks.

26 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm thinking about writing the story of my life. Maybe I should actually do something first. That would really help with the title.

27 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Remember that day at the amusement park, Garfield? How can I forget? They sure had some scary rides. Embarrassing... I couldn't stop screaming. But in the parking lot, Jon?

28 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

When communicating with pets... Keep commands simple and to the point. Lose...some...weight. Get...a...life.

29 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Maybe I'll get together with friends tonight. We'll laugh and engage in stimulating conversation... Or maybe I'll stay home and floff. Reality sets in.

30 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you know what's wrong with cats? They... CLICK Hey! You watch too much television.

31 March 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh We should do something. How about mailing Mrs. Feeny's little dog to an obscure overseas nation with insufficient postage? Or we could thumb wrestle for that last piece of cheesecake. Or we could hijack an ice cream truck andhold the driver hostage f

1 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, three mice just walked through the front door. Havan't you heard? They were carrying suitcases! The cheese expo is in town.

2 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmmm...what should I do about this new mousehole? Of course! Accept a bribe!

3 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, this is a diagram of the food chain. You're here, and that's a mouse down there... Any questions? Where's pizza?

4 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Woof Uh...Garfield?... Yey, I know. They're making dogs smaller these days, aren't they?

5 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

SNAP! OUCH! SNAP! OUCH! SNAP! OUCH! He'll give up, eventually. May I have the bait?

6 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

We need a fourth for bridge. Okay, but this time we use MY cards. Last game I about went blind.

7 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

You're going to hurt me now, aren't you? Unless you act posthaste to rectify this unfortunate situation.

8 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, if you exercised you'd have more energy. And that's good. Ah.

9 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

A, springtime! A time when...uh...um... What DOES happen in springtime? You hold your arm in the air?

10 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you meed to do some work. Uh huh. You can help me in the garden. Sure. I made this little plow. You have WAAAY too much time on your hand.

11 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I got you a surprise, Garfield! But I can't find it. It wouldn't have been, sorta, kinda resembled a (burp) box of donuts, would it?

12 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

My date said she hates me more than almost anything. ALMOST anything. I caught that.

13 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I am bored, Garfield. I need some excitement. Maybe I'll sit on the roof! Joooon?! The fire department said never do that again.

14 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

What a nice day for a walk in the woods. Pooky! What are you doing out here?! I thought I left you at the camp... ...site... Momma!

15 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, mom...I miss you too. Yes, I realize it's been a long time since I visited you... Yeeesss, I realize you're not getting any younger... I'll pack my food bowl and teddy bear.

16 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I just love car trips... They make me feel like SINGING! SLAM! SLAM! Boys?...Boys?

17 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Mom! Jonny! Dad! Son! Jelly belly! Lame brain! Brothers.

18 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Good to see you again, son. You're looking well. Thanks...you too, dad. Well, got chores to do. Better go unpack. (sniff) A real father-son moment.

19 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield isn't much for the farm life, is he, Jonny? I guess not, mom. But he'll learn to cope. AAAGGHH! Only THREE channels?!!

20 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

See that, Garfield? Those are sheep. Look like dust bunnies with legs. That's where wool comes from. Hold on... If this is anything like that chicken/egg thing, I DON'T wanna know.

21 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Sure is a beautiful sunset, dad. Yup. Sunsets are very popular on the farm... Very popular.

22 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

What are you? I'm a rooster. What do you do? I wake you up at the crack of dawn. I didn't hear the rooster this morning. I imagine it's tough to crow with baling twine tied around one's beak.

23 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Remember that tree, Jon? Our bull chased you up that tree. Yeah, dad. Boy, you were stuck up there a LONG time... I remember, dad. How old were you? Seven and eight.

24 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

So how's life in the big city, Jon? It's wild! Sometimes I stay up till ten. MA!

25 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Farming can be dangerous, Garfield. There are warning signs all over. -"Do not tickle the bull"? That's a biggie.

26 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I have a girlfriend now, Jon. Really? Want to see a picture of her? Sure! What do you think? Saaaay... That's one shiny tooth.

27 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I'd like to stay and visit, Jon, but I have a date. Look at that ugly holstein over there. That's my date. You shouldn't wear polka dots, lady.

28 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

skitter skitter *click* Scout to base... No sign of cat...proceed. WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! Scout to base...uh, how's your sense of humor?

29 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

This room would look better with less cat hair. There's no cat hair in here except what's on me. Hey!

30 April 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

This is Mrs. Spittle, my third grade teacher. She hated me. She made me take summer school. She was okay, I guess. ...thus the lovingly rendered horns, goatee, and blacked-out tooth...

1 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

PLay dead, Odie! Good boy! Now, stay.

2 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

A what?...on your WHAT?! Yes, Mrs. Feeny, I'll look into it. DEAD GERBIL ON HER GLIDER?! Not my work. Way too obvious.

3 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Uh-oh. Bad sign. Jon's kite came home without him.

4 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Good coffee. Hot coffee. Here it comes... Gooooooood hot coffee. Sigh.

5 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

bzzzzzzz ...and to your right is a house cat. Now let's move to the living room. Do you feel a draft? You lef tthe door open, dipwad.

6 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

When I look around the room and see how dirty it is... I think it's time we do something about it. Got the blindfolds right here. Gimme the blue one.

7 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to meditate. You do that. Z I could use a little meditation myself.

8 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Who wants to have fun? Not me! Not me! Mr. Ball of Yarn needs some attention. You two have a lovely life together.

9 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

A great new store opened up, Garfield! It's called "Create-A-Pet". I now have a bunny! Who maims.

10 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Tima, I'm throwing a party saturday night. Want tom come? YEEES, I'll be there. Party pooper.

11 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, weekends are my time to rear back and howl! Close. ...lie down and giggle? Closer. ...crawl into a fetal position and whimper? There you go.

12 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z If sleeping is an art, then I'm a masterpiece.

13 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

click (drivel) click (nonsense) (nonsensical drivel) At last!

14 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

This is one long movie. It's going on like, FOREVER! Where's the remote? You're sitting on the pause button, techno boy.

15 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome to "Recycle that Roadkill." What have we got tonight, Bob? Hard to tell, Chuck...he's pretty flat... Might make a nice coaster. With great big eyes.

16 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

And your avocation, sir, is? I squish spiders. Care to demonstrate? Certainly. SQUISH! Lousy form. No follow-through at all.

17 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

...we DID have some amazing footage of that downtown fire, but DAN in editing accidentally ERASED it... So, instead of exciting fire footage, we present DAN in his undershirt and boxer shorts playing a comb with tissue paper: ffft ** ffft** ffft ** I'd ta

18 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z Z Z This has been "Nap Along with Fluffy". YAWN

19 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's check the ol' message machine. click *beep*...Jon, this is Cindy. I've changed my name. You'll never find me! Ha! Ha! Ha! *beep* ...Jon?...Marsha...I can't date you because I'm allergic toboring. *beep*...Jon, thi is Nancy. Don'tcome over. You'll ne

20 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

SMACK Spring is here... The first robin of the season just flew into the picture window.

21 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't you love springtime, Garfield? The warmth...thle flowers. Even you are smiling! I have a mouth full of butterflies.

22 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I pushed Odie off the roof! Fortunately, his fall was broken when he landed on Jon. Come closer, Garfield. Look, Odie! He crawled in here all by himself!

23 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you sleep too much. I have a condition. And there's a name for that. "Exerciseophobia". Lazy! The fear of sweat.

24 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

There was a cookie on this plate a minute ago... And I want to know where it went! It's enjoying the company of the missing pork chop.

25 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

This cat food contains tuna-flavored chicken... That looks like beef. I prefer the beef-flavored tuna that looks like chicken.

26 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

How's it going, Giant Hamburger? Giant Hamburger? You're dreaming. That's what I assumed. NEVER ASSUME!

27 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Here are your menus, hon. I love diners. Oooh, I have a heartburn already! I'm in deep-fried heaven.

28 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmm...the green-bean burrito looks good... Sorry, we're out of that. I owe you one, Irma.

29 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Would you like extra horseradish sauce on your garlic-onion-sardine sandwich? Sure. No goodnight kiss for you.

30 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

There's a note in my sandwich. It says, "inspected by number 23". They inspected my tuna melt? That, or the cook's wearing a new shirt.

31 May 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

My compliments to the chef! I'll tell him. He says he could use a hug. I hated MY meal.

1 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Ahhh...a filling meal at a greasy diner. Burrraap. Then home to fall asleep on the couch in front of the TV! Check! It just doesn't get any better than this.

2 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Almost ready... KACHING! CLONK My eye! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! SPLORT! WAAAAH SCHLIIIP!!!! Here's your toast. I think I'll just have a cold bagel instead.

3 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Wake up, Garfield! The whole world is waiting for you! Tell the world to get a life.

4 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I really should cut the grass...but it's such a nice day. Maybe I'll water it instead. What's with the sunglasses? You're blinding me with your logic.

5 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I thought Odie was chasing you around the tree out back. He is. I don't think he's caught me yet.

6 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

There were three dozen cookies on this plate... And now they're gone! BAD PLATE!

7 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, Odie... The scret to looking good is to accessorize. -

8 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, Garfield, I'm not really boring. I'm mellow. I have a laid-back personality. That's why we buried it in the backyard three years ago.

9 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Went with the lowest bidder. Beware of Dog Ah, the simple, direct approach. Beware of DOG Self-explanatory. Beware of DUMB MUTT High-tech mixed breed. Beware of |||||||| No threat there. Beware of Poochie. I believe we have awinner.

10 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

You'd never guess you were going to be 23. Why, you're as active as you ever were. Ha, ha, very funny!

11 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

So you'll be a year older...so what? Birthdays are a celebration of life! Yeah, we can decorate your walker with streamers and everything! WHO LET HIM IN?!!

12 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, will you play with me? Go away, Nermal. We could run and laugh! Go away, Nermal. Or in your case, waddle and wheeze. Come closer, Nermal.

13 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Look on the bright side, Garfield... Every year, your birthday is a gift! Yeah, yeah. A gift with no exchanges or returns.

14 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I hear you have a birthday coming up...how old? 23. What would that be in spider years? Don't know...no spider has ever lived that long. Whoa, how ironic was THAT?

15 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Instead of making a list of things I want for my birthday... I made a list of things I DON'T want. Raisins?

16 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

So, birthday number 23 is coming up, eh? You're only as young as you feel, pal! snap! A kitty treat! crick snao And today I feel around a hundred and sixty-one.

17 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh...tomorrow I'm turning 23... Don't get me wrong...I LOVE birthdays. But why do so many of them have to be MINE?!

18 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

It's my birthday and I get to do anything I want! ...don't wake me! Whee... Z

19 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, get out of that bed! Where's your sense of wonder? Where's your sense of adventure? They ran off with my sense of humor.

20 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

You didn't eat that hamburger? I'm so proud of you. squeak squeak squeak Well, I'm afraid Odie's a little disappointed in YOU.

21 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Z It's nice when Garfield's asleep. He can't annoy me. Z Z

22 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Step right this way, ladies and gentlemen. Here we have one of nature's wonders. The bottomless pit. I want to be left alone.

23 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh . These are the days that I love. Days when you can lie in one spot from sunrise to sunset, while absolutely nothing happens. No crises, no accomplishments, no nothing. Just yourself and a quiet, serene, and peaceful day. Hefollowed me home. Can I ke

24 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

It's comedy time! Am I the only one who thinks bow ties are funny?

25 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I shall now make my assistant disappear. BOOT! Not very magical, but pretty entertaining! THUD!

26 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

A funny thing happened on the way to the fence tonight... ALL RIGHT! YEAH! LET'S GO THERE! I hate you all.

27 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

So, anybody here from out of town? Yes, I am from the planet Uranus. Entertain me or die, earthling! I hate these late shows.

28 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Who wants to hear a song? I do! Me too! Sure! Any requests? Turn on the radio! Yeah! That would be great!

29 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

How do you like the show so far? Z Z Z Z Z Z All right! A standing nap! Z Z Z Z Z Z Z

30 June 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

slup jiggitta jiggitta jiggitta jiggitta ZORK FFFFNNNNNNNNNNN NONG NONG NONG NONG NONG A little espresso goes a long way.

1 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! That Odie is not a plate catcher. I hear nothing.

2 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, most cats don't get to have ice cream. All right! All the more for me!

3 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

You seem content, Jon. Looks like I got her ejust in time. Go away, Garfield. I'm here to suck the joy out of your life.

4 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie sure is enjoying that rawhide chew I gave him. I can't find my new belt. That explains the buckle.

5 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I feed Jon's canary every day. It's a selfless act on my part. But soon it will be harvest time.

6 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Does this outfit make me look mysterious? Absolutely! I think dorks are very mysterious.

7 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware of Dog Beware of Dog Beware of Dog Beware of Dog WHOOMP Treee Doooog!

8 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Spiders were not meant to be squished! We are feeling, living beings! We are SOMEBODY GRAB A HOUSE SLIPPER, QUICK!

9 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

So, I see you have a walking cast now. Yeah. I'd ask you to sign it, but I hate your stinking guts, you fat tub of lard! -

10 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

You may squish me, but you'll never squish my spirit! KER SMACK How's your spirit, Stewart? Bite me, Mikey.

11 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I want you to squish my lousy no-good husband! Then I want you to pound him into mulch, and the rip his legs off and stuff them down his craw! He gave you vacuum cleaner bags for your wedding anniversary again, didn't he? CANISTER bags!...and I have an up

12 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Have you seen my sister? SMACKO Have you seen my brother? I think so. Does he look like this?

13 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

See the cat today= Yep. And he DIDN'T squish you?! Oh, sure he did. This is a black body cast. donk donk

14 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield... I wouldn't keep teasing the dog in that pickup. You never know when we might come to a red light. Like this one.

15 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Cats are very complicated. You're a lump. Cats are very complicated lumps.

16 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Says here a cat will always land on its feet. Riiight. I subscribe to the "bounce" school of thought.

17 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon's iced tea. flick A la Garfield.

18 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I'll go get the broom... And sweep up all that cat hair. OKay, but first... I'd just like to stand here and admire it awhile.

19 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

You know what I love about cats, Garfield? You're so refined... HAAAACK!! Ahem...you were saying?

20 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Life offers us many challenges. And that's why I'm going to hide behind the couch. Don't tell life.

21 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Can you PLEASE speed it up a little?! Flea dip day.

22 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I am a magic donut! I can grant you any wish! How about a glass of milk?

23 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

All of us have a destiny, Garfield. I wonder what my place in history will be? Somewhere between Floyd the Whistling Snake and crab grass.

24 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie is trying to annoy me. He's making that noise I hate. That continouous breathing sound.

25 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you ever stop to realize all you out me through?! You know, I never did!

26 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I've tried every girl in my address book except Loretta Gnish. I wonder if she ever had surgery to remove that third nostril? He's weakening.

27 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

You forgot my birthday. No, I didn't. I didn't care.

28 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! Garfield! I'm stuck in the wall! Don't ask how...just DO somethin! Okay, you're having a cruel laugh at my expense, aren't you?

29 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Did you bring the paper in? GARFIELD! Kidding! I saved the funnies!

30 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder what time it is? ** OW! ** OW! ** OW! It's three. Too close to the cuckoo clock.

31 July 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

* FEEELINGS... What is a karaoke machine doing in the living room?

1 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

AAAAGGGHHH WHO TORE THE LAST PAGE OUT OF THE MYSTERY BOOK I WAS READING?! The cat did it.

2 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I walked my date to the door. And then what happened? I kissed her hand... And then what happened? Leaving her othe rhand free... And then what happened?

3 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I sat on a bee today. So I'm not happy. I'll bet the bee isn't exactly gleeful, either.

4 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Spiders are your frieeeeeends... Z You liiiiiiiike spiders. Z You would nevvvvvvvvvvvvver hurt a spider... Z Next Moring: Morning, friend! SMACK! I'm a liiiiiiight sleeeeeper.

5 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Tah da!

6 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! Dog treat. Yeh! Yeh! Yeh! Yeh! They're so easy.

7 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Tonight we have with us a man who thinks he's a dog...how are you, sir? Dogs can't talk, Phil. But you just did. Uh...I mean, "arf". People will do anything to get on TV.

8 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

The toaster doesn't work, Garfield. I'll take it to the garage and fix it. Not the garage! That's where all small appliances go to die.

9 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I know why you won't go out with me, Cindy. You think I'm stupid, don't you?... Darn, I was hoping that wasn't it. You were hoping for "loser," maybe?

10 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

DING-DONG squeek squeek squeek squeek squeek Who was it? Just some clown.

11 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Ahem... If you want a cookie, you'll have to move. I forgot how far cats can stretch. Now, I think I'll get some milk out of our neighbor's refrigerator.

12 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Mom used to tuck me into bed at night. She'd kiss me on the forehead and say, "nighty-night". Then dad would tiptoe in and whisper, "Beware the chicken!" I've always liked your dad.

13 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, Garfield! A package from my mom! I wonder what it is?! I hope it's cookies! I hope it's a ham! It's ham-shaped cookies! Mom shoots! Mom SCORES!

14 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

We couldn't afford doctors on the farm. We relied on natural remedies. Did you know that kissing a chicken cures cold sores? Get away from me.

15 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

News from the farm, Garfield...a letter from Doc Boy. "Maddie Ferguson's pie took first place at the fair..." "So mom burned her barn down". All right, mom!

16 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield is fine, mom...want to talk to him? What's she saying? She's saying she can't believe she's talking to a cat on a long-distance call.

17 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

We got a post card from Doc Boy! He's vacationing on Loogieville, Indiana. ...says he had his picture taken with the world's largest corn cob. Eiffel Tower, eat your heart out.

18 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

You have a nice, peaceful, long, restful nap. I don't need that kind of pressure! WHOP! poo

19 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I've decided to do nothing...just like you. Good luck, pal. NOBODY can do nothing like me.

20 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I found a treasure. A record album? It's a classic. "Mel Tweedy's best farm tunes"? It has all the hits! "Our love's gone dry and so has the cow."

21 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I learn from my mistakes. Wow. There goes the world's smartest man!

22 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

pant pant pant Leather breath. Hey! Where's my other shoe?!

23 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I bought this box of candy for my date! And I ate it. We're a team!

24 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, the dishes are washed. Maybe I'll wax them. It's the weekend that wouldn't end.

25 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

AH HA! Oh. You're not doing anything. AH HA! Oh, You're still not doing anything. AH HA! I'll let you know.

26 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I think I'll take a nap. Then doze awhile...and then top it all off with a nice snooze. Remember, kids, fo well-balanced rest, you must have something from the three basic sleep groups each day.

27 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmf! If you continue to lie there like that, you're going to atrophy! I'd go to the dictionary to look that up, but my legs have withered.

28 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm bored! Reeeally bored. I'm so bored it's almost interesting.

29 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Maybe there IS something to lying on your back...maybe I should try it. Look at all the GUM stuck under this table! Close your eyes, dipwad.

30 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going out for a while. Don't bother waiting... ...up for me. Z

31 August 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

That's what you wre doing last time I saw you! I'm a rerun.

1 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

click Welcome to "Collegiate Face Slapping"! Good luck, gentlemen. Shake hands and come out slapping! * ding:: slap slap slap slap slappy slappy slap slap slappity slappity slap *poink* Uh-oh! We have a penalty flag. So, sorry,contestant number

2 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, what's wrong with this picture? -

3 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Boy, it's boring in here! I couldn't have done it without you, Odie.

4 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH Time to go grocery shopping, Garfield. Sugar cube sandwich.

5 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

BARK! BARK! BARK! Gum? mmmb! mmmb! mmmb! I love dogs.

6 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

It's the weekend. Boredom is at the door. Hey, watermelon seeds stick to your face! And walks right in without knocking.

7 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to show Ellen my intellectual side. I'm writing a list of books I've read. "Ducky's Big Pond"? No pictures in that on, pal!

8 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

slam! I just passed Mrs. Feeny on the sidewalk. Her arm was in a sling. She was wearing a neck brace. She had a walking cast... And her jaw was wired shut. She gave me a very nasty look. You wouldn't know anything about tthis,would you? No, An I don't kno

9 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

click click He WHAT?! Could you hold for a moment? I have another call coming in...thanks. *boop* He WHAT?! I'v been a busy boy.

10 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

We all have to live together. We have to be considerate of our neighbors. So return those to Mrs. Feeny! Can I keep the pearls?

11 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Mrs. Feeny's little dog is missing again... And all those stamps I bought yesterday are gone, not to mention a box and some twine! Take your time...it'll come to you.

12 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Deal? Deal. Where was that mouse going with a dollar? To run up Mrs. Feeny's leg. May I borrow the video camera?

13 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

WHOCK! SLAP! GOUGE-GOUGE SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! That was Mrs. Feeny at the door for you... She said, when she catches you, she's going to do THIS to you. I think I'll stay in today.

14 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

You'll have to speak louder, Mrs. Feeny! I can't hear you over all that racket! He put what?!... HOW many?! WHERE did you find fifteen howler monkeys?! riiiing * That would be the zoo.

15 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

* Dum, dee dum, dee dum... Hi, spider. Uh, hi, cat... pat pat pat Wow! I must be dreaming! STOMP Z YAAAHHH!!! POOOEY!!!

16 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, why do I keep dwelling on the past? Because you have no future? Here's my first pocket protector. AND no past.

17 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

There's Patty Evans, my date for the junior prom. I remember I was so nervous pinning the corsage on her. She said she'll always have the scar to remembe rme by. Okay, lemme see.

18 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

That's coach Beck. He was a tough tobacco-chewin' old football coach. He always spit in my helmet. Good thing you never used it.

19 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

"Geek"..."Loser"..."Creep"... "Freak"..."Dork boy"... "You stink!" Reading the inscriptions in his high school yearbook.

20 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Beth Nardone, now THERE was a girl! She broke my heart... AND my jaw. Boy meets girl, boy loses teeth.

21 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Belinda Gilzone...I had a mad crush on her. She was head cheerleader. Ever had an entired pompon shoved up your nose? Let me thibk.....no.

22 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff Do you MIND?

23 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Mondays don't scare me... * TOIIIIIIIING * FOOMP Oh, sure, they cheese me off, but they don't scare me.

24 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Fun with tape!

25 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Morning. Morning. sip So, what's it like to lick a spark plug?

26 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Cats are primal, Jon. I have the urge to prowl. Go away. Gimme your car keys.

27 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN scratch scratch BURP She seemed nice.

28 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

sniff sniff What smells so good? Cream of canary. Chunky style.

29 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I am so VERY sorry... That was Mrs Feeny again. Do tell. Why do you torture that woman so? Because she's there. ...hiding her dentures?! She bites when she's angry. Sneaking her little dog laxative-laced bran muffins?! What's soirregular about that? ...so

30 September 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Jon! Look at me! I'm i three rooms at the same time! Diet time!

1 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

You're fat. No, no, I am big boned. Godzilla was big boned...you're fat.

2 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

No more snacks for you, Garfield. Fine. You are on a strict diet. Whatever you say. And I filled in the tunnel to the refrigerator. My life is over.

3 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

It's not the dieting that gets to me. It's the NOT EATING part!!!

4 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Aren't you going to eat your dinner? I'm deciding. I may just weep instead.

5 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield... How's the diet going? Great! You have frosting on your lips. I pillaged a bake sale.

6 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

A candy bar! ...but I'm on a diet... This must be a test... -or a trick... Test...trick...test..trick... GRAB SQUEEK! AH-HA! Both.

7 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, one good thing about this diet... -at least I haven't had any of those weird... Hey, pal, how's about a snack? Hallucinations.

8 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Saaay...YOU'Re looking hungry. You're just a dietary hallucination. GO away. I can't, until you stop obsessing about me. I'd like you to meet a close, dear and personal obsession of mine.

9 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm a donut...eat me! No you're not. You're just a diet-induced hallucination. Now I'm frosted! Sorry. You're not real. With sprinkles! All right. Come here.

10 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

There has GOT to be an easier way to lose weight. You could exercise. munch munch munch munch munch Nummm.

11 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't tink I can eat all of my lettuce leaf. BECAUSE I'M PLANNING TO PASS OUT FROM HUNGER!

12 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Celery! If science could find a use for it, we wouldn't have to eat it to get rid of it! Diet starting to get to you?

13 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, cat... I've been thinking a lot about my mortality lately. Oh? Yeah, is the afterlife a continuation of the journey of one's spirit, or is it more of an ephemeral thing?... Could it be a new beginning?...A portal to a new andbetter place?... SLAP Se

14 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

If you finish your carrot, you may have another. Finished.

15 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

That was the vet. She says you can go off your diet now. THUD Are you all right?! Quick! Mouth-to-leat loaf resuscitation!

16 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

You're being annoying, Odie. Still annoying. Not quite getting the drif, are you, pal?

17 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Your pointy elbows give me a headache. You lost me there, Jon... That makes no sense at all.

18 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Why am *I* always having to beg for dates?! I'm going to let the girls call ME! Dr. Livingstone, I presume?

19 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, the kid across the street has lost his turtle. You don't say. Can he describe it?

20 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Burp burrrrrrrp BUURRRRRRAP BUUURRUUP BRAAAAP BURP Nice try...mere mortal.

21 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

WHOOOOMP! BUNGEE DOGGGG!

22 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

TOING! ? SLING-SHOT DOOOGGG!

23 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

shikka shikka shikka shikka shikka shikka AAATTIC DOOOGGG!!

24 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

ROOOOF DOOOGGG!!

25 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Eeeww...cold coffee. WHOOMPO WARM-UP DOOOGGG!

26 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DOOORRRR DOOOGGG!

27 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh I have no life... Jon has no life... Odie has... SLURRP slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp Veeeeeery little life left.

28 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

A cookie chocolate chip.

29 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Good dog. Bad dog. Complex, aren't they?

30 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Does the word "glutton" mean anything to you? How about "hog boy"? How about "Mister Fatty-Fat-Fat"?!! People without donuts are so bitter.

31 October 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Some people think of pets as their children. So...dad. Do you have a will?

1 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I have a date with Cindy, Garfield. She likes the strong, silent type. So I'm dressed as a muscle-bound mime. Try not to get beat up.

2 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Haven't we met somewhere before? Yes. I wonder if that's good or bad. She's picking up a rock!

3 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Ahhh...there she is. A little to the left... A little more...that's it... A liiiiiiiitle more... *snap* THUD WOOOOOOH! WHO dug the the tiger trap in Mrs. Feeny's flower bed?! WEEEEEEE I love sirens.

4 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, Garfield, may I have a word with you? Can it wait? I'm busy chasing the mouse.

5 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

And don't come back! Too late.

6 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

* ching ching * ching ching We seem to be infested with cowboys.

7 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

nok nok May I borrow a cup of sugar? Sure. I said a CUP, not a thimble! I can't win here.

8 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! Present. What? He didn't seem very happy. The man is an enigma.

9 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

The mice and I have an agreement. I don't eat them... * And they don't booby trap the litter box.

10 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

brrrrrr It is FREEZING in here! Ah-HA! I knew I still had those old rubber arms! Get away from that thermostat!

11 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

(null)

12 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

You wouldn't be so happy if you were seeing what I'm seeing. How long have you been carrying that around waiting for me to say that?

13 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

OW!! Garfield, you oaf! That was my foot you stepped on! GAAAHH Now you have a matched set.

14 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Why, yes, Judy, I am as masculine as I sound. O.K. Judy, you'r eon! I just bought three thousand dollars worth of windows. Was Judy as slick as she sounded?

15 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

DING DONG ** That's my date. Now be nice. EEEEEK! I havened even OPENED the door yet! Just getting it out of the way.

16 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Wow... Two beautiful days in a row! I hate reruns.

17 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

If you think you're psyching me out, you're mistaken.

18 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm a bug. I eat bugs. I eat birds. My hero! STOMP!

19 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware of the Dog Monday, Wednesday and Friday It's tuesday. Pencil me in for tomorrow.

20 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey! I went to high school with that sweater!

21 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

So, did you finally get enough to eat? Depends... Is there anything left?

22 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

So why won't you go out with me? What?! Not MANLY enough?! Boy, that'll take the starch out of your petticoat. Easy, big fella.

23 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

What do you think of my new suit? YAAAHHH! MY EYES! MY EYES! And don't sugarcoat it.

24 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN pat pat pat Nope. Rats. The heck with it. I thought you were napping. Couldn't find my spot.

25 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder if I should go for a walk... No way! I refuse! I'm outvoted.

26 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Whenever things are missing they call on a dog to track it down. Has it occured to anyone that dogs might be taking that stuff to begin with?

27 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

The world is constantly changing. They haven't stopped making frozen pudding pops, have they?

28 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware of the Artistic Dog ZIP scribble scribble scribble My nose isn't that big!

29 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I'm going to ask the first woman I see to go out. The first one without a monkey. She looked interesting.

30 November 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm spending the evening with a cat! HA! HA! HA! Hey!

1 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

tap tap tap SLAM! VRRRMMMM r-r-r-r-r-r-r I told you, I am NOT going Christmas shopping today! But the car's all warmed up!

2 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Boys! Hot chocolate! ZIP ZIP Where's Odie? I'm standing on him.

3 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Santa is coming soon. Have you been good this year? Yes, I have. Too late! I saw your pupils dilate!

4 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

No, no, NO!!! It's SIX eyelashes on each doll...SIX! Get it right! We will return to "Stewey, the Anal-Retentive Elf"... Maybe YOU will...

5 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

"Dear Jonathan G. Arbuckle," "a /very/ Happy Holidays /to you/, Jonathan Q. Arbuckle, /and yours on this, the most joyous time of year/, Jonathan Q. Arbuckle." How sweet. He loves the folks at the insurance company.

6 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Have you written your letter to Santa yet? * RIIINNG Hello? This is Santa. You paged my beeper? Here's my list.

7 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

SLUURRP! AAAGGHH Eww...what is he doing? Wringing out his beard. Visit Santa >

8 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Scissors. snip snip snip snip Tape. snick Tape. snick Tape. snick Help. Lassie I ain't.

9 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm feeling all christmasy! I know... It's catching!

10 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

So did you put up a tree and everything? Oh, yeah. Only this year we went with an artificial one. Artificial? Yeah, it's one of those pine-scented air fresheners shaped like a douglas fir.

11 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Guess what, Ellen...I have a mistletoe! If I hold it over your head, you have to kiss me. Yeah, well, it's the law, Ellen! There are worse things than jail.

12 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

We now return to "Edward Fernbergle, The Certified Public Accountant Who Saved Chistmas". * RIIING * RIIING Hello? Santa, the elves have been skimming from petty cash! Ed! You've saved us! Slap them in tiny irons!

13 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, mom? It's Jon. I'm calling because I need your top-secret recipe for Christmas cookies! No, mom, the line is not tapped. Are you SURE?

14 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Before too long it'll be time to get a new Christmas tree. So I guess we ought to take the old one down. Can't we just scoot it over... Next to the other one?

15 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, mom! Just called to wish you happy holidays, mom! Wha?...yes, I ate just a few hours ago...hmm? Who? Sure! Put him on! Hi'ya, dad! Happy holidays! ...I'm fine...yep, changed my oil last week...grandma? Sure! Put her on! Hi, grandma!...I said HI!! ...n

16 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm looking for a Christmas tree. Who isn't? A great big one! I like your style. Let's talk HUGE! Let's talk financing.

17 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't believe what you charge for a Christmas tree! Well, we do also sell the kit... Kit? This ia PINE CONE! Some assembly required.

18 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going out to hang the Christmas lights on the house. Remember now... I know, I know... If I hear a scream, call the fire department. For a scream and a "bzzzt," call the power company. For a scream, a "bzzzt" and a "thud"

19 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

shake shake shake You're not peeking, are you? Only with my ears.

20 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

SNIFFFFFFFF You're looking cheerful this morning. I just tanked up on Christmas spirit.

21 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, cat. Hi, flea. Just wanted to stop by and say merry Christmas before I take off. Where to? Oh, I'm catching a Greyhound to Kansas City.

22 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

pop Merry Christmas.

23 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Christmas Eve, and I can't sleep. I need a sedative. Quick, tell me a story about your boyhood on the farm.

24 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey! You know, that Santa is even nicer than I thought... He left ME a cookie.

25 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, mom?...it's Jon. About that sweater you made Garfield for Christmas?... YOu left out a hole. How fo you leave OUT a hole?!

26 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Karen, how'd you like to go out with me on new year's eve? What's it worth to you? Uh...paint your house? I like this one already.

27 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

None of the girls I called want to go out with me on new year's eve. Maybe if I called them again and used a french accent... Who needs cable TV when you've got this?

28 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Can you believe it?! Patti broke our date, and now I'm stuck with two tickets to the new year's eve dance! Now what do I do? Duh... Go stag, scalp the other ticket at the door, and buy me something.

29 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh...come with me... We need a blow-dryer, and a really, really long extension cord.

30 December 2001
 
 
   
Garfield

Why can't I get a date for new year's eve, Garfield? Why, why, why, why?! WHY, WHY,WHY,WHY,WHY,WHY,WHY ?!! Can you say "mature"?

31 December 2001
 




Garfield's Birthday | New Year's Eve | New Year's Day | X-max Eve | X-mas Day