Here's Earl with the early-morning farm report. Van, there's nothing but dirt as far as the eye can see. Earl, any tractor sightings? City boys.
1 February 2001
We're visiting Rex the Stunt Dog. Rex, what do you get paid for all those dangerous stunts? Well, they pat me on the head a lot. The dumb work cheap.
2 February 2001
The remote is broken. click click And I'm watching "The History of Norwegian Flowerpots". Lethargy certainly expands your horizons.
3 February 2001
Greetings. Every animal has a special place... We cats favor windowsills. The luxury of lying in the warm sunlight... The panoramic view of the world...the passing parade of humanity. We cats favor the floor...
4 February 2001
Hello, mom. Oh, thr same old thing. Right now I'm dusting the cat. Hee hee hee
5 February 2001
Garfield, I hear something in the basement! It could be a HUGE rat! Doesn't that inflame your primal instincts? Yes, I'll be in the car.
6 February 2001
Reserved Reserved Is it possible that I've lost the element of surprise?
7 February 2001
Odie dug up the flowers in the garden! Oops Odie dug up the flowers in the garden!
8 February 2001
Congratulations, you have won the gran dprize! An evening with me. The excitement was too much. Probably a stomach virus.
9 February 2001
Nobody can stretch like a cat. YAWN Hey!
10 February 2001
I'm pretty much sick of winter. ENOUGH WITH tHE SNOW ALREADY! zip
11 February 2001
I have a simple philosophy, Garfield. Laugh and the world laughs with you. In fact, I can hear them now. They camp on the lawn.
12 February 2001
POOF! I am the Genie of the Cookie Jar! You have three wishes! Where's a cookie when you need one?
13 February 2001
I'm not doing anything today, Garfield. Atta boy. I'm being lazy. My hero. I'm not even changing your litter boy. Psycho!
14 February 2001
Jon, let's savor this moment. I have a banana in my ear. Someday we'll remember when you tripped over me coming back from the grocery...and laugh! There are grapes in my nose. These are the good old days! I'm going to kill you.
15 February 2001
Enjoy your dinner, Garfield? Very tasty. I call it "Back-of-the-fridge-bottom-shelf-behind-the-baking-soda stew". I can only make it about once every five years. That's just a little bit more than I needed to know.
16 February 2001
I'm bored, tired and hungry. Yeah, but can you shed? Huh? Huh?
17 February 2001
* * Pooky! You're WARM! You've been hugged recently, and NOT by me! Have you been hugging around?! I just got your bear out of the dryer. I'm such a jealous fool!
18 February 2001
Chicks dig the tough-guy look. So I got this leather jacket. What think, Garfield? It goes well with your bunny slippers.
19 February 2001
I'm not your type?! Well just wht is your type? Human? Picky, picky, picky.
20 February 2001
Cindy just called. PLPLPLPLPLPL!! She said I was immature. What does she know?
21 February 2001
Would you repeat thet? You WILL go out with me?! Hello?...Hello? Jon will be right back. He's in the front yard doing his happy chicken dance. Yes! Yes! Oh, yes!
22 February 2001
I have a date with Ginny tonight. She loves to laugh. I have three hours to get a sense of humor. I'll ge tthe fake forehead faucet.
23 February 2001
Some kids have been ringing our doorbell and running. This bucket of water will teach them a lesson! DING DONG My date will be here any second. I don't think so.
24 February 2001
ooooooooog... gurgle argle argle noogle argle gargle oogle arguley doogley rarg-a roog oog oog a-choob It has a nice melody, but you can't dance to it. Hungry cats have no sense of humor.
25 February 2001
There are two reasons why I hate spiders. They're sneaky... SPLAT! And I suspect they're stealing food. CLANK DONK
26 February 2001
I'm the avenging spider! kick scratch scratch I strike again!
27 February 2001
Go away. Aha! Is it my violent nature and ruthless heritage that threatens you?... Or is it my imposing, hairy body and long venomous fangs? It's your fly breath. And now go away.
28 February 2001