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Garfield

SMACK! - - You're late. Sorry.

1 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

I don't have time to stop! - SMACK! - You must learn to relax. How's this?

2 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

SPIDER! Wait! - Spiders eat insects! - INSECT EATER! SMACK!

3 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

- - WHACK! - - - ? - Wheeeeeeeeee!! BLAT!

4 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

SLORP! SLURP! SLUP! SLURP! - Please, Garfield, thare's nothing more disgusting than that! SLORP! SLUP! - Except that.

5 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

Garfield, help! I locked myself out getting the paper! - Hurry! I don't have any pants on! - I'm wearing the puppy underwear! - Then come in through the pet door.

6 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

- - Tomorrow, I'm going back to getting dressed AFTER I take my shower! Well, at least you tried something.

7 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

RRRrrrrrrr - Garfield, was that the blender? - Forget it, I don't want to know. Bunny-slipper frappe?

8 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

I know how to get a woman's attraction. - WHO WANTS TO HEAR SOME BARNYARD IMITATIONS?! - Well, that got her attention. I didn't know anyone could run that fast in heels.

9 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

Heh, heh, heh... - Oh, the trouble I could cause! - If my claws weren't stuck in the table.

10 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

than cold coffee. twitch twitch - EEEEYAAAAAAHHH!!! - Okay...soggy shorts, -maybe.

11 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

C'mon, Garfield...up an' at 'em! - LIFE is calling! - Tell life to leave a message.

12 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

...it's not like I haven't done anything with my life... - Oh, wait a minute... - Yes, it is!

13 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

You apologize to Odie for what you did to him, or I'll punish you severely! - - Punish me severely.

14 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

Wanna hear about my day? - - NO I'm not paying for this card!

15 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

There are many, many things I will never understand. - - And they're all women. A rare moment of honesty.

16 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

This is "NAtional Ugly Fish Week". - So eat an ugly fish today... - And leave the planet that much less ugly. Slogan needs work.

17 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

- - - - - - Enjoy the little thingsand the big things will take care of themselves.

18 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

Ma, can I ask you something? Of course, Timmy. - Can I have a pet? A pet? - He followed me home, ma. You're not very bright, are you, Timmy?

19 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

- Watch out for the spider! - Some lookout you are. Sorry.

20 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

You'd better not mess with me! Know why? - SMACK! - Because you're so tough? And don't you forget it.

21 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

...and with a kiss from the beautiful princess... - The frog turned into a handsome spider... - Which the princess stomped flat! Hey! Hey! Stick to the story!

22 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

Hey, cat, I'm gonna hop on your neck and suck out all your bodily fluids. - WHACK! - Hey! You crimped my sraw!

23 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

This is my college intern. - SMACK! - He does good work. *I* think so.

24 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

- I'll be shaving, in case anyone calls for me. - - buzzzzzzzzzzzzz - buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz - click - Just checking...did anyone call? The paranoia police send their regards.

25 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

Life stinks. - You should have a more positive attitude. - Life stinks.

26 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

I'm thinking about writing the story of my life. - - Maybe I should actually do something first. That would really help with the title.

27 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

Remember that day at the amusement park, Garfield? How can I forget? - They sure had some scary rides. Embarrassing... - I couldn't stop screaming. But in the parking lot, Jon?

28 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

When communicating with pets... - Keep commands simple and to the point. - Lose...some...weight. Get...a...life.

29 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

Maybe I'll get together with friends tonight. - We'll laugh and engage in stimulating conversation... - Or maybe I'll stay home and floff. Reality sets in.

30 March 2001
 


 
Garfield

Do you know what's wrong with cats? - They... CLICK - Hey! You watch too much television.

31 March 2001
 




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