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Garfield

Everyone should do their best. Which, hopefully, will allow me to get by without doing much of anything!

1 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm not getting enough out of life. I must expend more effort! Z Z

2 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome to "Cat Aerobics". Ready? Breathe! SNIIIIIFFF! Now breathe again. WHOA! You're killing me here!

3 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

How about a hug, Garfield? Candy? Biscuit? Seafood? No hug? I need motivation.

4 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

*beep*...you have no messages. click *beep* You still have no messages. click Here's a message for you... YOU'RE A LOSER! Stop tormenting it.

5 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Cat hair!! There is cat hair EVERYwhere!! No! Wait! HA! You MISSED a spot! flick I must be slipping. AAAGGGHH!

6 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Happy cat. Angry cat. Happy-to-be-angry cat.

7 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

We're having leftovers for dinner, Garfield... Meat loaf... And something yellow. Mustard. I'll tell myself it's mustard.

8 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to make a list of things I can do to impress women. "Can make a list..." He's writing that in INK, ladies!

9 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm not saying Jon has a bad wardrobe. But I just looked into his closet. Two hundred moths committed suicide.

10 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm depressed, Ellen. I could use a good word. That's a bad word, Ellen. Don't sugarcoat it, Ellen.

11 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

You're breaking up with me? But we've never dated. you don't want to take any chances? Better safe than sorry.

12 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

To be, or not to be: That is the question. ** Gotta sing! Gotta dance! * The ballet patrons go wild as Garfield pirouettes his way into their hearts! Sooooooooo...what have you been up to? Being ignored, mostly.

13 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I don't think you could get any fatter. That wasn't a challenge! I'll need cupcakes.

14 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I went shopping, Garfield. Feed me. Spent every cent I had. Feed me. These moose hats aren't cheap. Shoot me.

15 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

And so ends another day! Why did Odie go back to bed? I'll be having his breakfast.

16 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Who deserves the last donut? To be honest... It probably would have been you.

17 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

This is really amazing, Garfield. I have called every woman I know. They all have a cold. Probably caught it in group therapy.

18 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you have any unfulfilled dreams, Garfield? Oh, sure. There's the one about the 12-foot chocolate eclair...

19 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Ahem... ...a word with you? The PET door is for PETS... And the DOOR door is for people. NO exceptions. You know that, and you've ALWAYS known that. So I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to return your house key. Sorry aboutthat. It's okay. I had cop

20 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's a joke. How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Mice don't change lightbulbs. You see lightbulbs are too large and cumbersome, not to mention that it's much easier for us to pilfer food in the dark. That joke took asobering turn.

21 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

What are you going to do about all these mice? Get them name tags?

22 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, how do you explain this? Hmmm...new mouse, higher-than-average disposable income, heavily into baroque rococo, I'd say.

23 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I have the mouse chasing himself. That's called delegating authority.

24 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

There goes a mouse! Aren't you going after him? Perhaps... That is, if he's going to the beach.

25 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, I have to get back to work as a household pest. Sigh. All the good jobs are taken.

26 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

You're filthy! lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick li Do you MIND?!

27 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Work hard and do your best. It'll make it easier on the rest of us.

28 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm sorry, Mrs. Feeny... Yes, I'll look into it. SLAM! Is that Mrs. Feeny's Wig?! It followed me home.

29 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Nothing can go wrong if I just sit here. kkkkk That man never ceases to amaze me.

30 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Fear not, Jon! I've put Odie to work protecting out house and valuables! Take Anything But The Food

31 January 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Edna, I might be late picking you up tonight. Well, my head is stuck in a wastebasket. It's a long st...saaay...my voice sounds deeper... Don't wait up, Edna.

1 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm staring at you, Garfield! What do you think of that? Heeey, who WOULDN'T want to stare at me?

2 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't believe it! ...things were going so well... I was clean-shaven, wearing my best cologne... -had made a reservation for two at a wonderful restaurant... We'd ordered our meals... I was telling her stories about my boyhood onthe farm... And then she

3 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

You are MIN, and mine alone! I maintain TOTAL control over you! Channel UP! Channel DOWN!! UP! DOWN! UP!! DOWN!! MUTE! UNMUTE!! click click click click click click Two new "AA" batteries always go right to his head.

4 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

And now for the farm report, here's Earl... ...Earl? Doug, a pig just bit me. A pig? Where did he bite you, Earl? Right in the mudhole, Doug. Who says there's nothing good before sunrise?

5 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome to "I'm So Special!" ...and what makes you "so special," sir? I can whistle the national anthem out of my left nostril. And your right nostril? That's where I unfurl a tiny flag. Let's hear it for patriotism.

6 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Tonight, a mad scientist puts a dog's brain into a zombie. In the horror classic... "Night of the Living Dumb". What a cruel thing to do to a zombie.

7 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Tonight, on "You'd better believe it!" ...we visit with a man who owns a hippo! * Heeere, holly! Here, girl! Thet is the biggest pet door I have ever seen!

8 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

The fire department is here... The fire is under control... And I'm happy to report there were no injuries! That's the goal of every cooking show.

9 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Mrs. Feeny reports her chihuahua has been varnished a dark cherry. SOMEone duct taped Odie to our satellite dish... -There's been so much shedding going on that *I* hacked up a hairball this morning! And the living room drapes looklike they_ve been run t

10 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'll never understand you. I like that... Garfield: Cat Of Mystery.

11 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Listen to Odie hol like one of his wolf ancestors. ooooooooooo Even after years of domestication, a dog is still in touch with primal urges a thousand years old. ooooooooooo Lost his Internet connection. oooooooooooo

12 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Ah AH AH CHOO! Thank you for sharing that. And thank you for being here.

13 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Sometimes you're lucky. Killer moths! And sometimes you're Jon.

14 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Ready to meet for our blind date, Edith? How will I know you? You'll be carrying a skull? Stay in well-lit areas.

15 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I have all my tools, Garfield. Tim to tackle those household projects. I feel like something electrical... Could you fix some food up ahead?

16 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Good night. Good night...good night...good night...good night... -and goodbye. GULP BURRP Midnight snack.

17 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'll be right back. bloot Okay, who put the lemon wedge in the fishbowl?

18 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

An empty fishbowl... Signs of a struggle, and a cat with a contended smile. Something isn't right here. Sorry, cats, you can't have him... he's taken.

19 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Wait! If you don't eat me, maybe I could do you a favor! What could a goldfish ever do for me? I know a lobster. I'm listening.

20 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, how many fish have I owned over the years? Three hundred twenty-one? Three hundred twenty-three! Oh, yeah, two died of natural causes.

21 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

scribble scribble scribble Is that an I.O.U.?

22 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Congratulations, Garfield. You've eaten every single fish. What do you have to say for yourself? Do I get to keep the bowl?

23 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Stop looking at me like that...we are NOT lost. We're just a little off track, that's all. A familiar landmark is all I need and I'll be fine...you'll see. We'll stop here for a bite to eat and then be home before you know it. Twoburgers with fries. Dees

24 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I need some attention, Garfield. That'll do, thank you. Give me a cookie and I'll go away.

25 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie is planning to chase his tail. But being the good sport he is... He's going to give it a head start.

26 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Success isn't everything it's crackes up to be. ...and you would this becaaaause?...

27 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Sammy Sock Puppet says he can whip your sock puppet. You talkin' 'bout Billy Boot? Not fair! And the war escalates...

28 February 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Ellen, I would ford the mightiest river for you! Aha? ...all right. She's checking her atlas for piranha-infested tributaries. It pays to do your homework.

1 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

-and after I tied my shoe, I tied the other one... Then I thought about standing up... Then I stood up. It actually takes Jon longer to tell about his day than to live it.

2 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Herman! Long time no see! Well, hi, cat! So, how's the wife and kids? Great, just great! You're looking good... Thanks! I I suppose I should chase you, just for the sake of appearance. Not too fast, though...I pulled a hammy on thetreadmill at the gym ye

3 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Two steak dinners, and make mine medium. And your buddy's? Moo. Rare. Check.

4 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmm...I can't decide between the chicken or the fish... BUC-BUC BUC-COUGH KAFF KAFF KAFF BUC Try the fish.

5 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't you two ever want to sit in a booth? Oh, no! Never! Why not? SPIIIIIIINNNN

6 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's your tossed salad. Thanks. Would you like fresh-ground pepper on that? HA! HA! HA! HA! WAH-HA! HA! Diner humor.

7 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

What's the catch of the day? Pan-fried ugly fish. Uhhhcan you serve it without its head? No. Why not? 'cause then it wouldn't be UGLY now, would it?

8 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

How are your ribs? Ticklish. I meant your beef ribs. Don't know, hon. I've never tickled a cow. You don't know what you're missing. I'm not with this man.

9 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

peck peck peck -

10 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Some days everything goes right. SMACK! I mean wrong.

11 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Burp You don't have to save those for me! What's mine is yours.

12 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

No more, and that's final! SCHLOP!

13 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

That brownie has been mold growing on it. Making it count as vegetable.

14 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Ellen, I was wondering... What if we were the last two people on earth? Humanity is doomed. And cats will rule the world!

15 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

You've just won ten million dollars! SLAM! Who was it? It wasn't the pizza guy.

16 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

WAA! HOOOO! WOOOOH! NYAAAH! Ah-ha. GAAAHHH! Hot elastic. GHEEEEE! Annnd, he's in the front yard. EEEEK!! Somebody call a cop!

17 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to make fun of dogs! Maybe I'll go home and make fun of dogs over the Internet.

18 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

You can't catch me! Uh, are those new running shoes? What happened to your tail? It's a victim of new innovations in athletic footwear.

19 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware Of The Vicious Dog ...The Really Huge Violence-Prone Teeth-Gnashing Dog You okay? I can't stand the pressure!

20 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Check out these sharp teeth! Whoa... How about these claws? Ooo... We've decided to gang up on the mailman.

21 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware Of Dog! Who Am I Kidding? The Thing's A Disgrace. Please DO Not Kick The Dog This is almost sad.

22 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware Of Gophers pook pook pook

23 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, turkey leg! Where are you going? I have been a leftover for three weks now! I know when I'm not wanted! I'm leaving! Tell me I didn't see that. He's just feeling unloved. Let's eat him.

24 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Look at you, you pig... Why, I bet you have more fat than muscle. You take that back.

25 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't blink. Tol' ja.

26 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

My hidden camera took there pictures of you stealing the last donut! Hmm. Okay, I'd like an 8x10 of this one and some wallet-sized prints of these.

27 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie SPLUT! Food Coach Open your mouth FIRST!

28 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Whaddaya think? You're wearing that...to a monster truck rally? To meet a blind date with a gold tooth? -

29 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! Get your paw out of the cookie jar! Who taught you that gesture?! You, in the car, when you drive.

30 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

flap flap flap flap ...keep...window...closed...

31 March 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

The accordion is my life, Garfield. You know why? I don't know, Jon...WHY? Because I have soul! No, Jon. You have an accordion.

1 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, symphony orchestra? I noticed you don't have an accordion player. Yes, I'll stay on the line. While they trace the call.

2 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

My girlfriend is ashamed to be with me. Amen, brother! She tried to run over it with her car. I feel your pain! But I won't be stopped! "Accordions Anonymous".

3 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm thinking our lawn needs something. I'm thinking of a lawn ornament. I'm thinking of a ten-foot concrete accordion. I'm thinking of moving.

4 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Who needs women, Garfield? All we need is a pair of tiny shoes, and... It's the dancing accordion! You need a woman.

5 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Accordion music isn't just music, Garfield. It's a way of life. And you get to wear leather shorts! Let's just leave it at that. Okay, Jon?

6 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Uhhh... Dinner will be a little late. The lasagna needs a few more minutes... The LASAGNA?! Stand aside...I'll be the judge of this! My sincerest apologies, you were right. HEY! BURP

7 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, let's think nice thoughts today. I'm floating on a cloud. I'm barbecuing a small woodland creature.

8 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie, this is going to hurt me more than it will you. BOOT! splat! Or maybe not...

9 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Still eating, Garfield? Soon your stomach will grow large and you will explode. He's like an evil fortune cookie.

10 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Have you lost weight? You beast!

11 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

News flash! A deranged hamster is terrorizing the city! Residents are advised against filling their pockets with lettuce and lying in tall grass. Oh, great! There goes his weekend.

12 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Doc, I have a stomach ache. Indigestion?!... Ohhh...so it's NOT a parasitic alien life form bent on world conquest? You live alone, you get paranoid.

13 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

BOOT! Stupid head wind.

14 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

You're more than a pet to me, Garfield. You're like a son. A big, fat, worthless son! Lighten up, dad.

15 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I make a lot of things around here, Garfield. I make the house clean. I make the meals... I make the beds... And don't forget that continual whining sound.

16 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

You have it so easy! Easy?...EASY?! I'm working without a mattress here!

17 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's make a list of your faults, Garfield. Fat, lazy, selfish... And... And let's not forget disrespectful. My personal favorite.

18 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

When you were little, you'd lie on my lap and purr. BURP That was long, looong ago. I've matured nicely, don't you think?

19 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm tired of just lying here. Carry me someplace else. yank yank

20 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, I'm a blueberry muffin and seem to have lost my way. Excuse me... I'm a butter pat and I'm also lost... Hi, Pat. Pardon... I'm a steaming-hot cup of coffee and I do believe I've taken a wrong turn. Even if this IS a dream, it'sstill the happiest mome

21 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm perfect. You're a mess. That's a PERFECT mess, bozo!

22 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Maybe someday they'll make a movie about my life. Whoa... Those poor stunt men!

23 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Hey, Jon! Check out this comic about a fat, lazy human!

24 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder if gravity is still working. PUSH It's nice to know that there are some things you can count on. THUD

25 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Women like a man of mystery, so I'm going to wear a mask on my date. This should be a hoot. Don't wait up. Take me with you.

26 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Ready to eat, Garfield? Excuse me?! I eat, I sleep. That's all I do. Do I look like I'm sleeping? Are you okay? DO YOU SEE A "Z" FLOATING OVEr MY HEAD?!

27 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

That's me with my high-school chess club. Ah... The jocks hated us. They were probably intimidated by you guys. So one day I challenged one of them to a game of chess. I said, "make the first move, you big lummox". That's when heshoved his bish

28 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Somewhere out there is the woman for me. Hiding, no doubt. That was MY line!

29 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Uh-huh. I see. Okay. Makes sense. All right. I can't argure with that one. I had no idea there were so many reasons not to go out with me. * RIING She thought of some more.

30 April 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Besides beauty and intelligence... I need a woman who will respect me. A human woman?

1 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Evelyn, say you'll go out with me... Really?! You're not just saying that?! Oh, you are just saying that. Nice shot, Evelyn!

2 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I have to show Ellen that I love animals and children. So, I'm taking you on my date tonight. Now, where can I find a kid? I don't work with children.

3 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

She loves me...she loves me not... She loves me...she despises the air I breathe. She loves me...she wishes my head would explode... Relay, Jon, relax.

4 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Your move. JUMP JUMP JUMP In "Checkers with Cookies," there ARE no losers. Yer moof.

5 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! I thought you were getting up! I am. This has to be done in stages.

6 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Shades make you look cool. There's not a pair big enough, pal!

7 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Pet ownership is a two-way street, you know. I do expect some affection in return. No prob... Odie, owner, affection, now.

8 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'll feed you in a minute, Garfield. Grrr Grrr What could he do? I had him outnumbered.

9 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I have a dilemma, Garfield. There's a girl who wants to go out with me saturday night. And she has a face that could stop a clock. So, what should I wear? Well, don't wear your watch.

10 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

A cat is constantly on the move. I don't personally know this cat, but I've heard of him.

11 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Made you look!

12 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

There's our cow, Bossie. She kicked me in the head once. She kicked me in the head once. Comes the dawn...

13 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

...and this is a picture of my prize rooster, Henry. That's a picture of an egg. He was much younger then. Ah... But he already had his dad's rugged good looks. You're scaring me, Jon.

14 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

We had to make our own fun back on the farm... Doc Boy and I used to play a game with the electric fence we called "Touch it, Whimp!" My fingers still tingle. And the brain's still numb.

15 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I remember back on the farm...my mother calling to me... "Jon, you're boring the cattle!" Ever seen a cow yawn? Now you're boring the cat.

16 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Mom set me up on a blind date with a girl from back on the farm. She churns her own butter... ...and has a wonderful sense of humor. And has a wonderful sense of humor.

17 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, a letter from home! Just when I was feeling down, too. "Dear son, the entire family fell off the roof". I don't even want to know...

18 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Atta-boy, Garfield! Let that mouse have it! SHow no mercy! WHUMP! Way to go! The new arm-wrestling champ! Best two out of three?

19 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I know why you're so lazy, Garfield. Low self-esteem. You have to realize your worth. Did I say you could speak?

20 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm running in place! I'm just standing here. And I'm winning.

21 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Know why humans are smarter than cats, Garfield? Bigger brains. Ah... That explains those huge, ugly heads.

22 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Yip! Yip! Yap! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Odie, if you'll shut up, I'll give you a piece of candy. Yip! Yip! Yap! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip!

23 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Marcie, give me one good reason why you won't go out with me. I see. She hates, loathes, and is disgusted by every fiber of my being. I'll mark her down as a possible.

24 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Would you like to see me juggle flaming chain saws blindfolded? Or hear me sing? The first one!! Dogs don't get to vote.

25 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

*TRIP* SPLAT! Graceful.

26 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm here! Let the party begin! SMACK! I'll open the chips.

27 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Fear me, cat! Fear my wrath! Fear my might! WHAP! Fear my flatness!

28 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Your husband's a celebrity now. Pardon me? Yeah, I saw him on the front page of the newspaper. Really?! MORTY! Flame IS fleeting.

29 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

New hat? Thanks for noticing.

30 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's a picture of my kids. Whoa, they're disgusting! Why, thank you!

31 May 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

...and that's the story of my life. SMACK! The End.

1 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

grunka grunka grunka grunka grunka grunka grunka grunka grunka grunka grunka grunka

2 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN stretch BURP scratch scratch scratch Busy? Don't get me started.

3 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm at a point in my life when it's time to ask myself the hard questions, Garfield. Like, can toads give warts to each other? Ow! Ow! Now my head hurts! Should've started with an easier one.

4 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm wearing mx boxer shorts backwards! I had a feeling something big was going to happen today.

5 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I have a lot on my mind. Good. Maybe that'll keep it from blowing away.

6 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I have a date tonight, Garfield. You know what that means... Sometime today I'll get a huge pimple! A time-honored tradition.

7 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

We cancel each other out.

8 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I just don't understand... Uh-oh. WHY don't the chicks dig me, Garfield? Maybe if I War and Peace 18 Estimated download time: 7.32 hours ...or maybe if I shaved my head and glued all the hair onto my chest. Did I miss anything?

9 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

So I'll be 24 soon...that's a nice number. A nice big, fat, incredibly huge, honking number.

10 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm turning 24 next week... Do you know what I hate most about my birthday? -cue the anser. HI! I'm Nermal, the world's cutest kitten!

11 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm curious. When you're as old as you are... What goes first? The memory? The eyes? The back? The kitten.

12 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

So I hear you're going to be 24. This is true. Wow! The things you've been witness to! What WAS life before fax machines?! It's too horrific to describe.

13 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

How do you intend to celebrate your birthday? What do you mean? Well... Are you gonna wheeze out a few candles? Run for your life.

14 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

So I'll soon be 24. That means I will be older and wiser... HA! HA! HA! HA! I'll be older.

15 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

tap tap You can run, boy, but you can't hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide.

16 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to be 24 soon. And that look you're giving me isn't helping.

17 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

24 years is a long time. What's the secret to your longevity? I seeeeeee... Wait, wait, there's more.

18 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Happy birthday, big guy! I'm not eating that.

19 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

You should do some sit-ups. I don't know... It might cause me to spill my milkshake.

20 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Aha! He can only get his hand out if he lets go of the cookie. What will he do? He will use his wits and your head.

21 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

You know better than to stand between me and the kitchen when it's snack time.

22 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

It's Garfield! Oh sure, lay pressure on me! Do you realize all the responsibility that is attendant to being Garfield?! The eating of food?! The taking of naps?! The kicking of Odie?! Why can't I be you? ...all carefree and silly? -HYUH! HYUH! HYUH! Comp

23 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

It says here that pets can be a real comfort. So comfort me! Get a fleecy blanket.

24 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Says here that cats and lions are in the same family. You must be adopted. Hey!

25 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

snip snip snip snip snip snip snip snip snip snip snip snip I'LL LET YOU KNOW IF I SEE A CAT FOOD COUPON, OKAY?!

26 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

There's going to be a pet show next week, Garfield. Hmmm. Big prizes! Sounds interesting. We should enter! Very well. Go fetch your leash, boy.

27 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

"Then the zombie came closer and closer!" Lame... "Then he broke down the door and walked into the house". Oooh...I'm so scared. "And he ate the last of the roast turkey". Oh, NO!!!

28 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

"Pets are very sensitive". "Make sure you give them plenty of hugs". C'mere, Mister Sensitive! Touch me and I'll remove your arms.

29 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

You blinked...I win!

30 June 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Cookies rattle rattle A tunnel?! Kill the lights!

1 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, have you EVER eaten until you were actually full? Full? FUUULL... No comprendo, senor. I didn't think so.

2 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you ate all the pie! You could at least look sorry! Oops, sometimes I get my "sorry" look mixed up with my "no-pie-for-you" look.

3 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm depressed... But wait! There's a light at the end of the tunnel! -

4 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield...GARFIELD! GULP CHOMP SNARF GULP There's no food on that plate. Jon, Jon, Jon. When you're at the top of your game, you have to train even harder.

5 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Lunch GULP Dinner. Training an owner is hard work, but the benefits are great.

6 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Garfield! Breakfast!! Z YAWN STRETCH STRETCH mmmmmmmmmmmm STREEETCH ...one fork, extra long, please.

7 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder if it's possible for you to be more spoiled than you are. More spoiled? For you, I'll try!

8 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Look at that. Only thinking of themselves. I have to do the relaxing for all three of us.

9 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

You sleep too much. You talk too much. And you're a lump. You're a dork. But I love you anyway. You're still a dork.

10 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

My foot's asleep.

11 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, complaint department? ...I have a complaint. My toaster is broken... And my life stinks! Is it under warranty?

12 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

If mom had added a hole for my head, this would be my favorite sweater. So, let me get this straight... This is your second-favorite sweater?

13 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

It says here that dogs pant to cool themselves. I suppose it's worth a try... Why not? PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT Whoa, I'm going to hyperventilate! PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT PANTPANT Easy there, Jon! KLUN

14 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

It's monday, and there's nothing over there... -and nothing over there... Which can only mean...

15 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

What a dark and gloomy day. Odie got his tongue stuck in the vacuum cleaner, and all he can say is "Auwl" Auwl!" Clouds part...the sun breaks through...

16 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Nothing could take the dull out of this day. This isn't a tie! It's a snake! But, what do I know?

17 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

DING-DONG DING-DONG DING-DONG Why don't you use the pet door?! Forgot the security code.

18 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Cindy, I think I'm in love with you. The thought of you makes me sweat. We're talkin' sock-soakin' sweat, Cindy! He should write greeting cards.

19 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Whew... TRAPDOOR DOOOGGG!

20 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Dinnertime! Who wants a nice, refreshing glass of lukewarm tap water? Yesiree, cleanses the system, hydrates the body, returns that youthful glow to the skin...nature's energy drink... -yum! SQUOOK Forgetting to shop is no excude.Sorry.

21 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Is the dog here? Hang on, I'll check. Heeey, wait a second. I'M the dog. Sorry. I mistook you for the buffoon.

22 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I could bite you in half with my powerful jaws! If I hadn't burned my lips on a hot cappucino.

23 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware Of The Dog Inc. I can't bark at you if you don't have the proper paperwork. It's come to this!

24 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Grrrrrr Sorry I'm late! Did I miss anything? Oh, just some growling and a little teeth gnashing. Darn! Would you start over, please?

25 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't stand the sight of you! Then I'll leave. Thank you. EEEERRRRGGGGHHHH

26 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Grrr. Snarl. Bark. You call that threatening? I'm a little self-conscious about my new braces. What is HAPPEINING with this world`!

27 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

click Tuna. Gulp. Pork and beans. gobble gobble gobble Potato sticks. crunch crunch crunch Apple pie filling. slup slup Tomato paste. SLURP! You have been watching "Eating Stuff Out Of Cans". Cooking show themes are running thin.

28 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Being around me must be fun. *I* want to get in on some of that!

29 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

This is the worst hamburger in the history of hamburgers! ZWIP I've filched worse.

30 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I once dated a model, Garfield. Cindy Krovitz. She was a covergirl for "Barbershop Digest". Nice handlebar moustache.

31 July 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

There they are, Garfield. It's been a long time, hasn't it? That's the last time I take pictures of your feet. They've grown so.

1 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

You don't remember me? We went out on a date last night. Doesn't ring a bell? I'm sure it'll come out in therapy.

2 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I could be king of the jungle. If I wanted to be. And the jungle had air conditioning.

3 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

You can tell a lot about a mouse by his mousehole. Fat mouse... Skinny mouse... Tall mouse... Howdy! Ah.

4 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Does your little buddy there want to order from the children's menu? And when I TRY to be funny... WAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!

5 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

You changed your menu! Yeah. Chef Tony is experimenting with more exotic fare. "Aardvark Tartare"? Enough ketchup and it all tastes the same!

6 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

What comes with the dinner? Bread and your choice of potato. What are my choices? Cooked or raw. The Ritz, this ain't.

7 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'll have the chili. Sure thing, hon. Sign this release form. Diner chili...gotta love it.

8 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Irma! What happened to your finger? I burned it in the kitchen while preparing YOUR food! How can I eat when I'm consumed with guilt? Here, (burp) I'll show you.

9 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'd like the "Whoop-De-Doo" burger. Fries or slaw? Fries. Confetti or streamers? Confetti! Is the clown extra?

10 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! You're letting the cold air out! Hel-LOOOOO!

11 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

mmmmmmm I love me.

12 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I see you two have finally made up. Yep. It's stupid to fight over something as silly as each other's food! We agree. That's why we decided to eat yours instead. HEY!

13 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Is it true you yell at animals? GO AWAY! A shocking admission!

14 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you have to get up. If you want to eat, you have to go into the kitchen. Will there be any hills?

15 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

squeek queek squeek squee I'm on, aren't I?

16 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon gave me this ball of yarn for my birthday. Some assembly required.

17 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, students. Today we will discuss... The human: His foibles... ...his insecurities... ...his bacon... Touch it and I'll tie your thumbs in a knot!

18 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I really should get up. You really should get up. Been there. Tried that. Didn't work.

19 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, you're not very thrilling. Stop steling my lines.

20 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Look at that poor cat, Martha. Well, dear, he's in kitty heaven now. Why don't you go get a shovel? Maybe I should move something.

21 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Yes, I sense a presence... I hear mournful cries. Yes, it's the restless souls of a thousand donuts. Go away.

22 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

What a waste! Another day has passed you by, Garfield. You don't have that many left! AND YOU'D THINK I COULD SPEND THEM IN PEACE!

23 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

You just don't care about anything, do you?! Why, at this very moment a meteor could be hurtling toward this very spot! -

24 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Whoo! GEEZ It's a scorcher! Not even eleven o'clock and it's sweltering! I'm melting. How is any living thing supposed to stand this?! 'moring, sleepyhead. Here's your coffee. slup This is COLD!!!

25 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

How can you not love cats? You annoy me. I wasn't talking to you, buster.

26 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

sniff sniff No... sni AH! -just TRY and beat a summer afternoon downwind of a barbecue!

27 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I now realize why I eat so much. I suffer from low self-esteem. You're a fat slob. And you're helping.

28 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Coach was very critical of my playing. I remember one game in particular... He ran into the stands and slapped my parents. They must have been so proud.

29 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

You'd miss me if I stopped calling, Ellen. No, I don't want to test that theory. And no, not for ten dollars. Do I hear twenty?

30 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't have any role models... No one to look up to... However, there are those I can look down on.

31 August 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

bip beep boop boop Hello, Evelyn? This is Jon Arbuckle. Would you care to join me in a little fine dining this evening? I know this cozy little out-of-the-way seafood bistro... Wonderful food...great atmosphere... Pardon? StinkyBob's Sushi Bar and Bait Sh

1 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Catch that mouse! Okay. Hang on. Let me go slip on my running shoes. Seems like a reasonable request.

2 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Any luck? Some. I got the potato chip, but the dip is just out of reach.

3 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Ahem... I would like to thank everyone who made my mouse-of-the-year award possible. Oh, Garfield... Can't you see I'm busy watching the mousehole?

4 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, why don't you catch mice? Are you afraid of them? What power do they have over you? Tiny little incriminating photographs.

5 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, pest control? There's a huge rat im my trash. I HAVE a cat! You HAD a cat.

6 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

...and then the giant mouse chased the evil cat away. Everyone ate cheese and lived happily ever after. The End That was an odd one. Excuse me. Who said you could borrow that?

7 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

GYM Wait here, Garfield. I've got to work out. HUUUUP! Juice bar. EEEYYYAHH Sauna EEEERRGGGHHH Vending machine. OOO! OOO! OOO! OOO! OOO! Hot tub. Let's go get some ice cream. Cool down.

8 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Shhhh Stalking the wild pizza.

9 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

You two should stop being so competitive. Okay, Jon, we will. But since you brought the subject up, which one of us would you say was more competitive?

10 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, Garfield... Life is strange. So is your shirt, but you don't hear me blaming life for it.

11 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, would you miss me if I went away? Hmmm... It's a deal!

12 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Once you think you've reached the pinncacle of boredom... 17,887...17,888...17,889... 17,890 arm hairs! ...the bar is raised once again. One...two...three...

13 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Oops, my pants are on backwards. Are you sure it isn't you who's backwards? Because frankly, your pants look smarter than you.

14 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Sir, this is the 12-item express lane and you have 13. Come on...it's just one mor eitem. Rules are rules. GULP! There...twelve. GRAB SWISH *BEEP* KA-CHING! I didn't know you had a bar code. Just keep pushing.

15 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Stay tuned for a recitation of the complete works of Shakespeare. Sounds good. I lost the remote.

16 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

We're talking to hog farmer Earl Duroc... Tell me, Earl, do they like being buried in the dirt like that? Oh yeah, you water 'em and they grow real big. You got him hooked, Earl, now reel him in.

17 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

The Action Channel presents... The Adventures of Mark Veneer... Te Crime-Fighting Mime! Writers' strike.

18 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

And the winner of the ugly baby pageant is... Little Roberta Saconski! No pictures...PLEEEASE. I doubt if little Roberta will be asked to the prom.

19 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

We clowns laugh on the outside. And cry on the inside. How fascinating, Binky. Tell us more. I'm awake on the outside and asleep on the inside.

20 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

The caterpillar is emerging from the cocoon to become... A RARE AMAZONIAN VAMPIRE MOTH! NECK! IT'S ON MY NECK! Sometimes you can't improve upon real life.

21 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Table for two, please. Well, this is a nice blind date. It sure is. You're Jon, right? Yes...what is your name again? Euphemia. MMMPH! Do you find my name amusing? Nope! ...just a little leg cramp... That's a funny expression for aleg cramp. I'm...laughin

22 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Would you do me a favor? Absolutely! Eventually. Probably by accident. But it could happen. Never mind.

23 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I gotta dance! OW! I gotta call an ambulance! My knee!

24 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Anything happen around here today? Well, aside from you asking me if anything happened around here today... Nothing.

25 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I am so bored. I'm drawing faces on all the pillows! And Jon is so lonely.

26 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

My date insisted that we sit at separate tables at the restaurant. She said I look better from a distance. Do you think I look better from a distance? No, just more gullible.

27 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

This isn't real. How about that... A fake head!

28 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD! Present. DID YOU DO THAT?!! Hmm...let's see...callous disrespect for personal property... ...utter destruction on a scale incomprehensible to the civilized mind... And cat ahir everywhere. Nope.

29 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to have to get up. No, wait. I just got my second wind.

30 September 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Time to water the plants. Subtlety, thy name is NOT Jon.

1 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie, your tail says you're a noodle-neck stupid head. Are you going to take that? I wonder why dogs chase their tails. yip! yip! yip! It's a mystery!

2 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie has a girlfriend! Please don't let them multiply!

3 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I've gotta get out of here! There must be someplace to hide! Who wants to help me look for cornflakes that look like celebrities? TOO LATE!

4 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Have a bowl of rocks, Odie! crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch That sounds kinda good.

5 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

WHY don't you ever listen to me? Huh? WHY don't you ever agree with me? That's not true. WHY don't you show me any respect? I do...bonehead. WHY don't you ever show affection? Catch me around a mirror sometime. WHY do you cause meso much grief? Because I

6 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I couldn't decide which shirt to wear... So I put all of them on. I couldn't decide what to eat, so I ate everything! Where's the refrigerator?

7 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

What do you want for dinner? Who are you talking to? I mean, is there anything you don't want? Raisins.

8 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Nature holds many dangers. Squirrels with miniature weed whackers! Especially these days.

9 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

This is all I'll be shedding today. I dread tomorrow.

10 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I could be on a date now. But I choose to just sit here with you. The things I do for the women of the world.

11 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Stay in character, Garfield.

12 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello! I'm looking for a masseur! ...one who can deliver a vigorous teep-tissue massage! Can you recommend anyone? WHOMP! Do you have a card?

13 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

How are you, Jon? I have a headache. As if you care. Good to hear. Have a nice day.

14 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

YAAAAH! Okay, Garfield! Stay calm! Way ahead of you.

15 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

AAAAHHH! YAAAAAHHH! Aren't you curious to know what that was about? Not unless it will cause dinner to be late.

16 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I had a pretty good day today. Three...two...one... Once I got my leg out of that bear trap. Jon never disappoints me.

17 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Sometimes I feel like a failure. Oh, come on, Jon! SOMETIMES?!

18 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Boy, the sun sure set early today. Burned-out light bulb. Okay, so I'm no nature expert.

19 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Ah, autumn. When mother nature expresses herself. Painting from a palette so rich and full. The eyes do dance with delight. And drink deeply from this, the sweetest season of all. VOOOO I sincerely doubt that poets penned anyloving odes to leaf blowers.

20 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Go back to sleep. Z Hey, don't knock it. I've lasted longer than any clock around here.

21 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going outside for a while. Brr...it's cold out there. You were in the refrigerator!

22 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Sock puppet impression. The invisible man! Go away.

23 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm the world's fastest spider! zip SCHWOP Okay, okay, second fastest.

24 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I am a tiny spider! swat And this is a tiny magazine!

25 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Remember that time I chased you? And you fell into a pit full of angry monkeys? Now that was funny! This is why none of the great comedians are dogs.

26 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

. plop! Excuse me, mister... I'm a poor, defenseless little baby bird who just fell out of his nest... Could you help me backup there so I can be with allllllllllll my brothers and sisters again? Oh, stop with all the disapprovingglares already.

27 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I am going to follow my dreams, Garfield. You don't have any dreams, do you? Aside from the dancing monkey in the chocolate fondue pot, no.

28 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I was much more acttive than you today. I would have been active too... If I'd caught MY tie in the blender!

29 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

...and that's what I did today! How about you? I spent the day listening to what you did today.

30 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

TI carry a picture of you in my wallet. Really? I show it to lots of people. All right! It gets me lot of sympathy. You snuck up on me with that one!

31 October 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

On the farm, we were close to nature, Garfield. I remember running bare foot through the cow pasture. Boy, that was disgusting. You may stop right here.

1 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Is it my imagination, or do you insult me at every opportunity? That's assuming you HAVE an imagination.

2 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

smack smack smack All right, I'll turn the furnace on!

3 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Run! It's the cat! We can't run, you idiot! We're plants! I sense fear. Then tip over and roll!

4 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

You made lemonade. I gotta start reading instructions.

5 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Took my ball of yarn for a walk.

6 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Ah, nature! Did you forget to pay the nature bill?

7 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

MEOW! MEOW! That would bw for me.

8 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

My foot's asleep. And dreaming.

9 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

You have that look in your eye... That look that says you're going to express mail the dog to a foreign embassy... That says you're going to lace my underwear drawer with itching powder... That says you're going to perform a horriblepractical joke on me

10 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to gnaw on the woodwork. I hope you get a splinter!

11 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Filthy vermin! Yeah! It wouldn't hurt you to take a shower!

12 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Why aren't you chasing the mouse? The mouse? Oh, I didn't recognize him in those glasses.

13 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, what's that noise? Uh...what noise? squeek squeek squeek Sounds like mice. I'm babysitting. squeek squeek squeek Tell me it's not. They're giving me cheese. squeek squeek squeek

14 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey! Pick it up! I almost caught you! Sorry.

15 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I guess a house with a fat cat should have a fat mouse, too. What are you talking about? I am NOT fat! I'm just big boned.

16 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! C'mere! Whaddya think? Huh?...Huh?... Chicks dig guys with pony tails. gck gck ding dong ** SHRIEEEK! WAIT!! Amazing how fast they can run in those high heels.

17 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

It's Socko the Superhero Sock Puppet! And his trusty sidekick, Fuzzy Slipper Man! There's something wrong with that man. You said it.

18 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

My life is without meaning! BAT I take it all back!

19 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

RIIINNNNNG! All right. I'm up. Just doing my job. Z

20 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

You're standing in my food! Sorry. -

21 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

You only date athletic types? Well, Mary, I have good news... I'm wearing bowling shoes! CLICK Gutter ball.

22 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Are you looking at me? No. I mean, yes. I mean, maybe! I mean, if you wanted me to, I was! If you didn't, I wasn't! Help me out here! I should've asked her out. Before she started running.

23 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh. You know, some folks wouldn't see this for what it is. Some folks wouldn't understand the astonishing reserves of self-discipline this requires. Some folks wouldn't comprehend the intense concentration involved.Some folks wouldn't appreciate the con

24 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

I am not lazy. Now, would my conjecture be more credible if I were standing? Perhaps, but we never know.

25 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Ever wonder about life, Garfield? Where we come from... Where we're going... Why it takes two hours to deliver a pizza.

26 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh...I have no friends. HEY, PAL! ZIP Wishful thinking.

27 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Once upon a time, there was a cat who loved to eat. He ate and ate and ate. Then he exploded. Is this medically accurate?

28 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Couldn't find a bookmark. I figured that.

29 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Christmas is coming soon. All together now...1...2...3... -

30 November 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

bip bip boop beep How about going out with me tonight, Ellen? Well, I thought we'd take the bus down to the mall... Have a romantic dinner for two in the food court... -and then visit Santa! You know, Ellen, Santa heard that too.And I bet he's blushing.

1 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

What do you call that look? Eager anticipation. I don't know if I can TAKE that for the next 23 days.

2 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, let's go get a tree. You read my mind.

3 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, stranger! Long time no see! You're looking great! Can I get you anything? Some water, maybe?

4 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

It's not the size of a present that counts, Garfield... It's the THOUGHT that counts. Think huge.

5 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Now back to "Zorgo..." "The giant radioactive mutant reptile who saved Christmas". Predictable. RAAHHHR! You glow bight enough, you get to guid the sleigh.

6 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Boys! Hot chocolate! ZIP ZIP Where's Odie? I'm standing on him.

7 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I gave you that gift wrap tube to PLAY with! And your point?

8 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Eggnog? Why, thank you! -

9 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Coming up next: "Hairy Larry, the spider who saved chistmas". *

10 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

You have reached *Santa's Workshop*. If you've been naughty, press 1. If you've been nice, press 2. boop Yeah, riiiiiiiiiiiight.

11 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Dear Santa, this is Garfield. Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme. How's that? One more "gimme" oughta do it.

12 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Doing anything special for Christmas, Gandma? No...I see. Just hanging your peeps ans catching some big air down at the skateboard park, huh? Same ol', same ol'.

13 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Ho! Ho! Ho! Elves.

14 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Say, cat, could you pick up my mail and watch the place for me? -I'm going away for the holidays. Sure thing. Where are you headed? I rented a little hole at the south end of the living room, next to the heat register. Sounds cozy. -Well, I'd better or I

15 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

You think? It couldn't hurt. Visit Santa ...and a girlfriend, and some chest hair, and a personality, and... Never saw the fat guy fight back tears before.

16 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

You! ...you, you, you!! It's all about YOU; isn't it?! What about MY needs?!! Visit Santa I think I'll try another mall.

17 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

They're in the oven now... Should only be about ten minutes. Ten minutes?! Do you realize how long that is in "Christmas cookie" minutes?!

18 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

* Weeeee WISH you a merry Christmas, we WISH you a merry Christmas... *

19 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Who goes there? EEEK! GARFIELD! I WAS JUST GETTING A GLASS OF WATER! Step away from my present, sir.

20 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Wha? This is a dream and I'm a sugarplum. Wanna dance?

21 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Three more days, Garfield. Just reserving my place in line.

22 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

The tree is up, the lights are on, and now it's SNOWING! There's only one thing missing... BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!

23 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Christmas is all about tradition... ** DING-DONG -and that would be our traditional Christmas eve barbeque pepperoni with double cheese.

24 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

It's Christmas! Join me, won't you?

25 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Christmas takes forever to arrive... And then it's here! And then it's gone! Another "weird cat" mood swing.

26 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, did you save all the bows like I asked you to? -

27 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, so maybe mom is getting a little forgetful. It's the thought that counts, right? ...right? Come closer and ask that again.

28 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

BIP BOOP BOOP BRRP Ellen, I need a date for new year's eve. You've already got a date? Well, can you fix me up with someone? No, I 'm not picky. Red flag. Yes, I suppose I could rent a plaid tuxedo... Big red flag. Yes, I can do allkind of animal impressi

29 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, don't be sad...everyone feels the same way. Besides, they'll be back next year. sniff I miss Christmas cookies.

30 December 2002
 
 
   
Garfield

Not until midnight. You gotta promise me. C'mon, PROMISE! Oh, okay.

31 December 2002
 




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