- - To be, or not to be: That is the question. - ** Gotta sing! Gotta dance! * - The ballet patrons go wild as Garfield pirouettes his way into their hearts! - - Sooooooooo...what have you been up to? Being ignored, mostly.
Ahem... - ...a word with you? - The PET door is for PETS... - And the DOOR door is for people. NO exceptions. - You know that, and you've ALWAYS known that. - So I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to return your house key. - Sorry about
Here's a joke. How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? - Mice don't change lightbulbs. You see lightbulbs are too large and cumbersome, not to mention that it's much easier for us to pilfer food in the dark. - That joke took a
I can't believe it! - ...things were going so well... - I was clean-shaven, wearing my best cologne... - -had made a reservation for two at a wonderful restaurant... - We'd ordered our meals... - I was telling her stories about my boyhood on
You are MIN, and mine alone! - I maintain TOTAL control over you! - Channel UP! Channel DOWN!! UP! DOWN! UP!! DOWN!! MUTE! UNMUTE!! click click click click click click Two new "AA" batteries always go right to his head.
Welcome to "I'm So Special!" - ...and what makes you "so special," sir? I can whistle the national anthem out of my left nostril. - And your right nostril? That's where I unfurl a tiny flag. Let's hear it for patriotism.
- Mrs. Feeny reports her chihuahua has been varnished a dark cherry. - SOMEone duct taped Odie to our satellite dish... - -There's been so much shedding going on that *I* hacked up a hairball this morning! - And the living room drapes look
Listen to Odie hol like one of his wolf ancestors. ooooooooooo - Even after years of domestication, a dog is still in touch with primal urges a thousand years old. ooooooooooo - Lost his Internet connection. oooooooooooo
- Stop looking at me like that...we are NOT lost. - We're just a little off track, that's all. - A familiar landmark is all I need and I'll be fine...you'll see. - We'll stop here for a bite to eat and then be home before you know it. - Two
- Herman! Long time no see! Well, hi, cat! - So, how's the wife and kids? Great, just great! You're looking good... - Thanks! I- - - I suppose I should chase you, just for the sake of appearance. Not too fast, though...I pulled a hammy on the
- - - Hey, turkey leg! Where are you going? - I have been a leftover for three weks now! I know when I'm not wanted! - I'm leaving! - Tell me I didn't see that. He's just feeling unloved. Let's eat him.
- - Hi, I'm a blueberry muffin and seem to have lost my way. Excuse me... - I'm a butter pat and I'm also lost... Hi, Pat. Pardon... - I'm a steaming-hot cup of coffee and I do believe I've taken a wrong turn. - Even if this IS a dream, it's
- That's me with my high-school chess club. Ah... - The jocks hated us. They were probably intimidated by you guys. - So one day I challenged one of them to a game of chess. - I said, "make the first move, you big lummox". - That's when he
I just don't understand... Uh-oh. - WHY don't the chicks dig me, Garfield? Maybe if I- - War and Peace - 18 - Estimated download time: 7.32 hours - - ...or maybe if I shaved my head and glued all the hair onto my chest. Did I miss anything?
- It's Garfield! - Oh sure, lay pressure on me! - Do you realize all the responsibility that is attendant to being Garfield?! - The eating of food?! The taking of naps?! The kicking of Odie?! - Why can't I be you? ...all carefree and silly? -
- Dinnertime! - Who wants a nice, refreshing glass of lukewarm tap water? - Yesiree, cleanses the system, hydrates the body, returns that youthful glow to the skin...nature's energy drink... - -yum! - SQUOOK - Forgetting to shop is no excude.
click - Tuna. Gulp. - Pork and beans. gobble gobble gobble - Potato sticks. crunch crunch crunch - Apple pie filling. slup slup - Tomato paste. SLURP! - You have been watching "Eating Stuff Out Of Cans". Cooking show themes are running thin.
Whoo! - GEEZ It's a scorcher! - Not even eleven o'clock and it's sweltering! - I'm melting. How is any living thing supposed to stand this?! - 'moring, sleepyhead. Here's your coffee. - slup - This is COLD!!!
bip beep boop boop - Hello, Evelyn? This is Jon Arbuckle. - Would you care to join me in a little fine dining this evening? - I know this cozy little out-of-the-way seafood bistro... - Wonderful food...great atmosphere... - Pardon? - Stinky
- Sir, this is the 12-item express lane and you have 13. - Come on...it's just one mor eitem. Rules are rules. - GULP! - There...twelve. - GRAB SWISH *BEEP* KA-CHING! - I didn't know you had a bar code. Just keep pushing.
Table for two, please. - Well, this is a nice blind date. It sure is. - You're Jon, right? Yes...what is your name again? - Euphemia. MMMPH! - Do you find my name amusing? Nope! ...just a little leg cramp... - That's a funny expression for a
- GARFIELD! - Present. DID YOU DO THAT?!! - Hmm...let's see...callous disrespect for personal property... - ...utter destruction on a scale incomprehensible to the civilized mind... - And cat ahir everywhere. - Nope.
- WHY don't you ever listen to me? Huh? - WHY don't you ever agree with me? That's not true. - WHY don't you show me any respect? I do...bonehead. - WHY don't you ever show affection? Catch me around a mirror sometime. - WHY do you cause me
- Ah, autumn. When mother nature expresses herself. - Painting from a palette so rich and full. - The eyes do dance with delight. - And drink deeply from this, the sweetest season of all. - VOOOO - I sincerely doubt that poets penned any
. plop! - Excuse me, mister... - I'm a poor, defenseless little baby bird who just fell out of his nest... - Could you help me backup there so I can be with allllllllllll my brothers and sisters again? - - Oh, stop with all the disapproving
- You have that look in your eye... - That look that says you're going to express mail the dog to a foreign embassy... - That says you're going to lace my underwear drawer with itching powder... - That says you're going to perform a horrible
Sigh. - You know, some folks wouldn't see this for what it is. - Some folks wouldn't understand the astonishing reserves of self-discipline this requires. - Some folks wouldn't comprehend the intense concentration involved.
bip bip boop beep - How about going out with me tonight, Ellen? - Well, I thought we'd take the bus down to the mall... - Have a romantic dinner for two in the food court... - -and then visit Santa! - - You know, Ellen, Santa heard that too.
- Say, cat, could you pick up my mail and watch the place for me? - -I'm going away for the holidays. Sure thing. Where are you headed? - I rented a little hole at the south end of the living room, next to the heat register. Sounds cozy. -
BIP BOOP BOOP BRRP - Ellen, I need a date for new year's eve. - You've already got a date? Well, can you fix me up with someone? - No, I 'm not picky. Red flag. - Yes, I suppose I could rent a plaid tuxedo... Big red flag. - Yes, I can do all