Everyone should do their best. - - Which, hopefully, will allow me to get by without doing much of anything!
1 January 2002
I'm not getting enough out of life. - I must expend more effort! - Z Z
2 January 2002
Welcome to "Cat Aerobics". - Ready? Breathe! SNIIIIIFFF! - Now breathe again. WHOA! You're killing me here!
3 January 2002
How about a hug, Garfield? - Candy? Biscuit? Seafood? - No hug? I need motivation.
4 January 2002
*beep*...you have no messages. click - *beep* You still have no messages. click - Here's a message for you... YOU'RE A LOSER! Stop tormenting it.
5 January 2002
- Cat hair!! There is cat hair EVERYwhere!! - No! Wait! - HA! You MISSED a spot! - flick - - I must be slipping. AAAGGGHH!
6 January 2002
Happy cat. - Angry cat. - Happy-to-be-angry cat.
7 January 2002
We're having leftovers for dinner, Garfield... - Meat loaf... - And something yellow. Mustard. I'll tell myself it's mustard.
8 January 2002
I'm going to make a list of things I can do to impress women. - - "Can make a list..." He's writing that in INK, ladies!
9 January 2002
I'm not saying Jon has a bad wardrobe. - But I just looked into his closet. - Two hundred moths committed suicide.
10 January 2002
I'm depressed, Ellen. - I could use a good word. - That's a bad word, Ellen. Don't sugarcoat it, Ellen.
11 January 2002
You're breaking up with me? - But we've never dated. - you don't want to take any chances? Better safe than sorry.
12 January 2002
- - To be, or not to be: That is the question. - ** Gotta sing! Gotta dance! * - The ballet patrons go wild as Garfield pirouettes his way into their hearts! - - Sooooooooo...what have you been up to? Being ignored, mostly.
13 January 2002
Garfield, I don't think you could get any fatter. - - That wasn't a challenge! I'll need cupcakes.
14 January 2002
I went shopping, Garfield. Feed me. - Spent every cent I had. Feed me. - These moose hats aren't cheap. Shoot me.
15 January 2002
And so ends another day! - - Why did Odie go back to bed? I'll be having his breakfast.
16 January 2002
Who deserves the last donut? - To be honest... - It probably would have been you.
17 January 2002
This is really amazing, Garfield. - I have called every woman I know. - They all have a cold. - Probably caught it in group therapy.
18 January 2002
Do you have any unfulfilled dreams, Garfield? - Oh, sure. - There's the one about the 12-foot chocolate eclair...
19 January 2002
Ahem... - ...a word with you? - The PET door is for PETS... - And the DOOR door is for people. NO exceptions. - You know that, and you've ALWAYS known that. - So I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to return your house key. - Sorry about
20 January 2002
Here's a joke. How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? - Mice don't change lightbulbs. You see lightbulbs are too large and cumbersome, not to mention that it's much easier for us to pilfer food in the dark. - That joke took a
21 January 2002
- What are you going to do about all these mice? - Get them name tags?
22 January 2002
Garfield, how do you explain this? - - Hmmm...new mouse, higher-than-average disposable income, heavily into baroque rococo, I'd say.
23 January 2002
- I have the mouse chasing himself. - That's called delegating authority.
24 January 2002
There goes a mouse! - Aren't you going after him? Perhaps... - That is, if he's going to the beach.
25 January 2002
Well, I have to get back to work as a household pest. - Sigh. - All the good jobs are taken.
26 January 2002
You're filthy! - lick lick - lick lick lick - lick lick lick - lick lick lick lick - lick li- - Do you MIND?!
27 January 2002
Work hard and do your best. - - It'll make it easier on the rest of us.
28 January 2002
I'm sorry, Mrs. Feeny... - Yes, I'll look into it. SLAM! - Is that Mrs. Feeny's Wig?! It followed me home.
29 January 2002
Nothing can go wrong if I just sit here. - kkkkk - That man never ceases to amaze me.
30 January 2002
Fear not, Jon! - I've put Odie to work protecting out house and valuables! - Take Anything But The Food
31 January 2002