Everyone should do their best. Which, hopefully, will allow me to get by without doing much of anything!
1 January 2002
I'm not getting enough out of life. I must expend more effort! Z Z
2 January 2002
Welcome to "Cat Aerobics". Ready? Breathe! SNIIIIIFFF! Now breathe again. WHOA! You're killing me here!
3 January 2002
How about a hug, Garfield? Candy? Biscuit? Seafood? No hug? I need motivation.
4 January 2002
*beep*...you have no messages. click *beep* You still have no messages. click Here's a message for you... YOU'RE A LOSER! Stop tormenting it.
5 January 2002
Cat hair!! There is cat hair EVERYwhere!! No! Wait! HA! You MISSED a spot! flick I must be slipping. AAAGGGHH!
6 January 2002
Happy cat. Angry cat. Happy-to-be-angry cat.
7 January 2002
We're having leftovers for dinner, Garfield... Meat loaf... And something yellow. Mustard. I'll tell myself it's mustard.
8 January 2002
I'm going to make a list of things I can do to impress women. "Can make a list..." He's writing that in INK, ladies!
9 January 2002
I'm not saying Jon has a bad wardrobe. But I just looked into his closet. Two hundred moths committed suicide.
10 January 2002
I'm depressed, Ellen. I could use a good word. That's a bad word, Ellen. Don't sugarcoat it, Ellen.
11 January 2002
You're breaking up with me? But we've never dated. you don't want to take any chances? Better safe than sorry.
12 January 2002
To be, or not to be: That is the question. ** Gotta sing! Gotta dance! * The ballet patrons go wild as Garfield pirouettes his way into their hearts! Sooooooooo...what have you been up to? Being ignored, mostly.
13 January 2002
Garfield, I don't think you could get any fatter. That wasn't a challenge! I'll need cupcakes.
14 January 2002
I went shopping, Garfield. Feed me. Spent every cent I had. Feed me. These moose hats aren't cheap. Shoot me.
15 January 2002
And so ends another day! Why did Odie go back to bed? I'll be having his breakfast.
16 January 2002
Who deserves the last donut? To be honest... It probably would have been you.
17 January 2002
This is really amazing, Garfield. I have called every woman I know. They all have a cold. Probably caught it in group therapy.
18 January 2002
Do you have any unfulfilled dreams, Garfield? Oh, sure. There's the one about the 12-foot chocolate eclair...
19 January 2002
20 January 2002
Here's a joke. How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Mice don't change lightbulbs. You see lightbulbs are too large and cumbersome, not to mention that it's much easier for us to pilfer food in the dark. That joke took asobering turn.
21 January 2002
What are you going to do about all these mice? Get them name tags?
22 January 2002
Garfield, how do you explain this? Hmmm...new mouse, higher-than-average disposable income, heavily into baroque rococo, I'd say.
23 January 2002
I have the mouse chasing himself. That's called delegating authority.
24 January 2002
There goes a mouse! Aren't you going after him? Perhaps... That is, if he's going to the beach.
25 January 2002
Well, I have to get back to work as a household pest. Sigh. All the good jobs are taken.
26 January 2002
You're filthy! lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick li Do you MIND?!
27 January 2002
Work hard and do your best. It'll make it easier on the rest of us.
28 January 2002
I'm sorry, Mrs. Feeny... Yes, I'll look into it. SLAM! Is that Mrs. Feeny's Wig?! It followed me home.
29 January 2002
Nothing can go wrong if I just sit here. kkkkk That man never ceases to amaze me.
30 January 2002
Fear not, Jon! I've put Odie to work protecting out house and valuables! Take Anything But The Food
31 January 2002