Edna, I might be late picking you up tonight. Well, my head is stuck in a wastebasket. It's a long st...saaay...my voice sounds deeper... Don't wait up, Edna.
1 February 2002
I'm staring at you, Garfield! What do you think of that? Heeey, who WOULDN'T want to stare at me?
2 February 2002
I can't believe it! ...things were going so well... I was clean-shaven, wearing my best cologne... -had made a reservation for two at a wonderful restaurant... We'd ordered our meals... I was telling her stories about my boyhood onthe farm... And then she
3 February 2002
You are MIN, and mine alone! I maintain TOTAL control over you! Channel UP! Channel DOWN!! UP! DOWN! UP!! DOWN!! MUTE! UNMUTE!! click click click click click click Two new "AA" batteries always go right to his head.
4 February 2002
And now for the farm report, here's Earl... ...Earl? Doug, a pig just bit me. A pig? Where did he bite you, Earl? Right in the mudhole, Doug. Who says there's nothing good before sunrise?
5 February 2002
Welcome to "I'm So Special!" ...and what makes you "so special," sir? I can whistle the national anthem out of my left nostril. And your right nostril? That's where I unfurl a tiny flag. Let's hear it for patriotism.
6 February 2002
Tonight, a mad scientist puts a dog's brain into a zombie. In the horror classic... "Night of the Living Dumb". What a cruel thing to do to a zombie.
7 February 2002
Tonight, on "You'd better believe it!" ...we visit with a man who owns a hippo! * Heeere, holly! Here, girl! Thet is the biggest pet door I have ever seen!
8 February 2002
The fire department is here... The fire is under control... And I'm happy to report there were no injuries! That's the goal of every cooking show.
9 February 2002
Mrs. Feeny reports her chihuahua has been varnished a dark cherry. SOMEone duct taped Odie to our satellite dish... -There's been so much shedding going on that *I* hacked up a hairball this morning! And the living room drapes looklike they_ve been run t
10 February 2002
I'll never understand you. I like that... Garfield: Cat Of Mystery.
11 February 2002
Listen to Odie hol like one of his wolf ancestors. ooooooooooo Even after years of domestication, a dog is still in touch with primal urges a thousand years old. ooooooooooo Lost his Internet connection. oooooooooooo
12 February 2002
Ah AH AH CHOO! Thank you for sharing that. And thank you for being here.
13 February 2002
Sometimes you're lucky. Killer moths! And sometimes you're Jon.
14 February 2002
Ready to meet for our blind date, Edith? How will I know you? You'll be carrying a skull? Stay in well-lit areas.
15 February 2002
I have all my tools, Garfield. Tim to tackle those household projects. I feel like something electrical... Could you fix some food up ahead?
16 February 2002
Good night. Good night...good night...good night...good night... -and goodbye. GULP BURRP Midnight snack.
17 February 2002
I'll be right back. bloot Okay, who put the lemon wedge in the fishbowl?
18 February 2002
An empty fishbowl... Signs of a struggle, and a cat with a contended smile. Something isn't right here. Sorry, cats, you can't have him... he's taken.
19 February 2002
Wait! If you don't eat me, maybe I could do you a favor! What could a goldfish ever do for me? I know a lobster. I'm listening.
20 February 2002
Garfield, how many fish have I owned over the years? Three hundred twenty-one? Three hundred twenty-three! Oh, yeah, two died of natural causes.
21 February 2002
scribble scribble scribble Is that an I.O.U.?
22 February 2002
Congratulations, Garfield. You've eaten every single fish. What do you have to say for yourself? Do I get to keep the bowl?
23 February 2002
Stop looking at me like that...we are NOT lost. We're just a little off track, that's all. A familiar landmark is all I need and I'll be fine...you'll see. We'll stop here for a bite to eat and then be home before you know it. Twoburgers with fries. Dees
24 February 2002
I need some attention, Garfield. That'll do, thank you. Give me a cookie and I'll go away.
25 February 2002
Odie is planning to chase his tail. But being the good sport he is... He's going to give it a head start.
26 February 2002
Success isn't everything it's crackes up to be. ...and you would this becaaaause?...
27 February 2002
Sammy Sock Puppet says he can whip your sock puppet. You talkin' 'bout Billy Boot? Not fair! And the war escalates...
28 February 2002