Edna, I might be late picking you up tonight. - Well, my head is stuck in a wastebasket. - It's a long st...saaay...my voice sounds deeper... Don't wait up, Edna.
1 February 2002
I'm staring at you, Garfield! - What do you think of that? - Heeey, who WOULDN'T want to stare at me?
2 February 2002
I can't believe it! - ...things were going so well... - I was clean-shaven, wearing my best cologne... - -had made a reservation for two at a wonderful restaurant... - We'd ordered our meals... - I was telling her stories about my boyhood on
3 February 2002
You are MIN, and mine alone! - I maintain TOTAL control over you! - Channel UP! Channel DOWN!! UP! DOWN! UP!! DOWN!! MUTE! UNMUTE!! click click click click click click Two new "AA" batteries always go right to his head.
4 February 2002
And now for the farm report, here's Earl... ...Earl? - Doug, a pig just bit me. A pig? Where did he bite you, Earl? - Right in the mudhole, Doug. Who says there's nothing good before sunrise?
5 February 2002
Welcome to "I'm So Special!" - ...and what makes you "so special," sir? I can whistle the national anthem out of my left nostril. - And your right nostril? That's where I unfurl a tiny flag. Let's hear it for patriotism.
6 February 2002
Tonight, a mad scientist puts a dog's brain into a zombie. - In the horror classic... - "Night of the Living Dumb". What a cruel thing to do to a zombie.
7 February 2002
Tonight, on "You'd better believe it!" - ...we visit with a man who owns a hippo! - * Heeere, holly! Here, girl! Thet is the biggest pet door I have ever seen!
8 February 2002
The fire department is here... - The fire is under control... - And I'm happy to report there were no injuries! That's the goal of every cooking show.
9 February 2002
- Mrs. Feeny reports her chihuahua has been varnished a dark cherry. - SOMEone duct taped Odie to our satellite dish... - -There's been so much shedding going on that *I* hacked up a hairball this morning! - And the living room drapes look
10 February 2002
I'll never understand you. - I like that... - Garfield: Cat Of Mystery.
11 February 2002
Listen to Odie hol like one of his wolf ancestors. ooooooooooo - Even after years of domestication, a dog is still in touch with primal urges a thousand years old. ooooooooooo - Lost his Internet connection. oooooooooooo
12 February 2002
Ah AH AH - CHOO! - Thank you for sharing that. And thank you for being here.
13 February 2002
Sometimes you're lucky. - Killer moths! - And sometimes you're Jon.
14 February 2002
Ready to meet for our blind date, Edith? - How will I know you? - You'll be carrying a skull? Stay in well-lit areas.
15 February 2002
I have all my tools, Garfield. Tim to tackle those household projects. - I feel like something electrical... Could you fix some food up ahead?
16 February 2002
- Good night. - - Good night...good night...good night...good night... - -and goodbye. - GULP - BURRP Midnight snack.
17 February 2002
- I'll be right back. bloot - Okay, who put the lemon wedge in the fishbowl?
18 February 2002
An empty fishbowl... - Signs of a struggle, and a cat with a contended smile. - Something isn't right here. Sorry, cats, you can't have him... he's taken.
19 February 2002
Wait! If you don't eat me, maybe I could do you a favor! - What could a goldfish ever do for me? - I know a lobster. I'm listening.
20 February 2002
Garfield, how many fish have I owned over the years? - Three hundred twenty-one? - Three hundred twenty-three! Oh, yeah, two died of natural causes.
21 February 2002
- scribble scribble scribble - Is that an I.O.U.?
22 February 2002
Congratulations, Garfield. - You've eaten every single fish. - What do you have to say for yourself? Do I get to keep the bowl?
23 February 2002
- Stop looking at me like that...we are NOT lost. - We're just a little off track, that's all. - A familiar landmark is all I need and I'll be fine...you'll see. - We'll stop here for a bite to eat and then be home before you know it. - Two
24 February 2002
I need some attention, Garfield. - - That'll do, thank you. Give me a cookie and I'll go away.
25 February 2002
Odie is planning to chase his tail. - But being the good sport he is... - He's going to give it a head start.
26 February 2002
Success isn't everything it's crackes up to be. - - ...and you would this becaaaause?...
27 February 2002
Sammy Sock Puppet says he can whip your sock puppet. - You talkin' 'bout Billy Boot? - Not fair! And the war escalates...
28 February 2002