The accordion is my life, Garfield. - You know why? I don't know, Jon...WHY? - Because I have soul! No, Jon. You have an accordion.
1 April 2002
Hello, symphony orchestra? - I noticed you don't have an accordion player. - Yes, I'll stay on the line. While they trace the call.
2 April 2002
My girlfriend is ashamed to be with me. Amen, brother! - She tried to run over it with her car. I feel your pain! - But I won't be stopped! "Accordions Anonymous".
3 April 2002
I'm thinking our lawn needs something. - I'm thinking of a lawn ornament. - I'm thinking of a ten-foot concrete accordion. I'm thinking of moving.
4 April 2002
Who needs women, Garfield? - All we need is a pair of tiny shoes, and... - It's the dancing accordion! You need a woman.
5 April 2002
Accordion music isn't just music, Garfield. - It's a way of life. - And you get to wear leather shorts! Let's just leave it at that. Okay, Jon?
6 April 2002
Uhhh... - Dinner will be a little late. - The lasagna needs a few more minutes... The LASAGNA?! - Stand aside...I'll be the judge of this! - My sincerest apologies, you were right. - - HEY! BURP
7 April 2002
Garfield, let's think nice thoughts today. - - I'm floating on a cloud. I'm barbecuing a small woodland creature.
8 April 2002
Odie, this is going to hurt me more than it will you. - BOOT! splat! - Or maybe not...
9 April 2002
Still eating, Garfield? - Soon your stomach will grow large and you will explode. - He's like an evil fortune cookie.
10 April 2002
Have you lost weight? - - You beast!
11 April 2002
News flash! A deranged hamster is terrorizing the city! - Residents are advised against filling their pockets with lettuce and lying in tall grass. - Oh, great! There goes his weekend.
12 April 2002
Doc, I have a stomach ache. - Indigestion?!... - Ohhh...so it's NOT a parasitic alien life form bent on world conquest? You live alone, you get paranoid.
13 April 2002
- - BOOT! - - - - Stupid head wind.
14 April 2002
You're more than a pet to me, Garfield. - You're like a son. - A big, fat, worthless son! Lighten up, dad.
15 April 2002
I make a lot of things around here, Garfield. - I make the house clean. I make the meals... - I make the beds... And don't forget that continual whining sound.
16 April 2002
You have it so easy! - Easy?...EASY?! - I'm working without a mattress here!
17 April 2002
Let's make a list of your faults, Garfield. - Fat, lazy, selfish... And... - And let's not forget disrespectful. My personal favorite.
18 April 2002
When you were little, you'd lie on my lap and purr. - BURP - That was long, looong ago. I've matured nicely, don't you think?
19 April 2002
I'm tired of just lying here. - - Carry me someplace else. yank yank
20 April 2002
- - Hi, I'm a blueberry muffin and seem to have lost my way. Excuse me... - I'm a butter pat and I'm also lost... Hi, Pat. Pardon... - I'm a steaming-hot cup of coffee and I do believe I've taken a wrong turn. - Even if this IS a dream, it's
21 April 2002
I'm perfect. - You're a mess. - That's a PERFECT mess, bozo!
22 April 2002
Maybe someday they'll make a movie about my life. - Whoa... - Those poor stunt men!
23 April 2002
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! - Hey, Jon! - Check out this comic about a fat, lazy human!
24 April 2002
I wonder if gravity is still working. - PUSH - It's nice to know that there are some things you can count on. THUD
25 April 2002
Women like a man of mystery, so I'm going to wear a mask on my date. - This should be a hoot. - Don't wait up. Take me with you.
26 April 2002
Ready to eat, Garfield? Excuse me?! - I eat, I sleep. That's all I do. Do I look like I'm sleeping? - Are you okay? DO YOU SEE A "Z" FLOATING OVEr MY HEAD?!
27 April 2002
- That's me with my high-school chess club. Ah... - The jocks hated us. They were probably intimidated by you guys. - So one day I challenged one of them to a game of chess. - I said, "make the first move, you big lummox". - That's when he
28 April 2002
Somewhere out there is the woman for me. - - Hiding, no doubt. That was MY line!
29 April 2002
Uh-huh. I see. Okay. Makes sense. All right. I can't argure with that one. - I had no idea there were so many reasons not to go out with me. - * RIING She thought of some more.
30 April 2002