There they are, Garfield. - It's been a long time, hasn't it? - That's the last time I take pictures of your feet. They've grown so.
1 August 2002
You don't remember me? - We went out on a date last night. - Doesn't ring a bell? - I'm sure it'll come out in therapy.
2 August 2002
I could be king of the jungle. - If I wanted to be. - And the jungle had air conditioning.
3 August 2002
- You can tell a lot about a mouse by his mousehole. - Fat mouse... - Skinny mouse... - Tall mouse... - - Howdy! Ah.
4 August 2002
Does your little buddy there want to order from the children's menu? - - And when I TRY to be funny... WAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!
5 August 2002
You changed your menu! Yeah. - Chef Tony is experimenting with more exotic fare. - "Aardvark Tartare"? Enough ketchup and it all tastes the same!
6 August 2002
What comes with the dinner? Bread and your choice of potato. - What are my choices? - Cooked or raw. The Ritz, this ain't.
7 August 2002
I'll have the chili. - Sure thing, hon. - Sign this release form. Diner chili...gotta love it.
8 August 2002
Irma! What happened to your finger? - I burned it in the kitchen while preparing YOUR food! - How can I eat when I'm consumed with guilt? Here, (burp) I'll show you.
9 August 2002
I'd like the "Whoop-De-Doo" burger. - Fries or slaw? Fries. - Confetti or streamers? Confetti! Is the clown extra?
10 August 2002
- - - - - Garfield! - You're letting the cold air out! Hel-LOOOOO!
11 August 2002
- mmmmmmm - I love me.
12 August 2002
I see you two have finally made up. Yep. - It's stupid to fight over something as silly as each other's food! We agree. - That's why we decided to eat yours instead. HEY!
13 August 2002
- Is it true you yell at animals? - GO AWAY! A shocking admission!
14 August 2002
Garfield, you have to get up. - If you want to eat, you have to go into the kitchen. - Will there be any hills?
15 August 2002
squeek queek squeek - squee - I'm on, aren't I?
16 August 2002
Jon gave me this ball of yarn for my birthday. - - Some assembly required.
17 August 2002
Good morning, students. - Today we will discuss... - The human: - His foibles... - ...his insecurities... - - ...his bacon... Touch it and I'll tie your thumbs in a knot!
18 August 2002
I really should get up. - - You really should get up. Been there. Tried that. Didn't work.
19 August 2002
You know, you're not very thrilling. - - Stop steling my lines.
20 August 2002
Look at that poor cat, Martha. - Well, dear, he's in kitty heaven now. - Why don't you go get a shovel? Maybe I should move something.
21 August 2002
Yes, I sense a presence... - I hear mournful cries. - Yes, it's the restless souls of a thousand donuts. Go away.
22 August 2002
What a waste! - Another day has passed you by, Garfield. - You don't have that many left! AND YOU'D THINK I COULD SPEND THEM IN PEACE!
23 August 2002
You just don't care about anything, do you?! - Why, at this very moment a meteor could be hurtling toward this very spot! -
24 August 2002
Whoo! - GEEZ It's a scorcher! - Not even eleven o'clock and it's sweltering! - I'm melting. How is any living thing supposed to stand this?! - 'moring, sleepyhead. Here's your coffee. - slup - This is COLD!!!
25 August 2002
How can you not love cats? - You annoy me. - I wasn't talking to you, buster.
26 August 2002
sniff sniff No... - sni- AH! - -just TRY and beat a summer afternoon downwind of a barbecue!
27 August 2002
I now realize why I eat so much. - I suffer from low self-esteem. - You're a fat slob. And you're helping.
28 August 2002
Coach was very critical of my playing. - I remember one game in particular... - He ran into the stands and slapped my parents. They must have been so proud.
29 August 2002
You'd miss me if I stopped calling, Ellen. - No, I don't want to test that theory. - And no, not for ten dollars. Do I hear twenty?
30 August 2002
I don't have any role models... - No one to look up to... - However, there are those I can look down on.
31 August 2002