bip beep boop boop Hello, Evelyn? This is Jon Arbuckle. Would you care to join me in a little fine dining this evening? I know this cozy little out-of-the-way seafood bistro... Wonderful food...great atmosphere... Pardon? StinkyBob's Sushi Bar and Bait Sh
1 September 2002
Catch that mouse! Okay. Hang on. Let me go slip on my running shoes. Seems like a reasonable request.
2 September 2002
Any luck? Some. I got the potato chip, but the dip is just out of reach.
3 September 2002
Ahem... I would like to thank everyone who made my mouse-of-the-year award possible. Oh, Garfield... Can't you see I'm busy watching the mousehole?
4 September 2002
Garfield, why don't you catch mice? Are you afraid of them? What power do they have over you? Tiny little incriminating photographs.
5 September 2002
Hello, pest control? There's a huge rat im my trash. I HAVE a cat! You HAD a cat.
6 September 2002
...and then the giant mouse chased the evil cat away. Everyone ate cheese and lived happily ever after. The End That was an odd one. Excuse me. Who said you could borrow that?
7 September 2002
GYM Wait here, Garfield. I've got to work out. HUUUUP! Juice bar. EEEYYYAHH Sauna EEEERRGGGHHH Vending machine. OOO! OOO! OOO! OOO! OOO! Hot tub. Let's go get some ice cream. Cool down.
8 September 2002
Shhhh Stalking the wild pizza.
9 September 2002
You two should stop being so competitive. Okay, Jon, we will. But since you brought the subject up, which one of us would you say was more competitive?
10 September 2002
You know, Garfield... Life is strange. So is your shirt, but you don't hear me blaming life for it.
11 September 2002
Garfield, would you miss me if I went away? Hmmm... It's a deal!
12 September 2002
Once you think you've reached the pinncacle of boredom... 17,887...17,888...17,889... 17,890 arm hairs! ...the bar is raised once again. One...two...three...
13 September 2002
Oops, my pants are on backwards. Are you sure it isn't you who's backwards? Because frankly, your pants look smarter than you.
14 September 2002
Sir, this is the 12-item express lane and you have 13. Come on...it's just one mor eitem. Rules are rules. GULP! There...twelve. GRAB SWISH *BEEP* KA-CHING! I didn't know you had a bar code. Just keep pushing.
15 September 2002
Stay tuned for a recitation of the complete works of Shakespeare. Sounds good. I lost the remote.
16 September 2002
We're talking to hog farmer Earl Duroc... Tell me, Earl, do they like being buried in the dirt like that? Oh yeah, you water 'em and they grow real big. You got him hooked, Earl, now reel him in.
17 September 2002
The Action Channel presents... The Adventures of Mark Veneer... Te Crime-Fighting Mime! Writers' strike.
18 September 2002
And the winner of the ugly baby pageant is... Little Roberta Saconski! No pictures...PLEEEASE. I doubt if little Roberta will be asked to the prom.
19 September 2002
We clowns laugh on the outside. And cry on the inside. How fascinating, Binky. Tell us more. I'm awake on the outside and asleep on the inside.
20 September 2002
The caterpillar is emerging from the cocoon to become... A RARE AMAZONIAN VAMPIRE MOTH! NECK! IT'S ON MY NECK! Sometimes you can't improve upon real life.
21 September 2002
Table for two, please. Well, this is a nice blind date. It sure is. You're Jon, right? Yes...what is your name again? Euphemia. MMMPH! Do you find my name amusing? Nope! ...just a little leg cramp... That's a funny expression for aleg cramp. I'm...laughin
22 September 2002
Would you do me a favor? Absolutely! Eventually. Probably by accident. But it could happen. Never mind.
23 September 2002
I gotta dance! OW! I gotta call an ambulance! My knee!
24 September 2002
Anything happen around here today? Well, aside from you asking me if anything happened around here today... Nothing.
25 September 2002
I am so bored. I'm drawing faces on all the pillows! And Jon is so lonely.
26 September 2002
My date insisted that we sit at separate tables at the restaurant. She said I look better from a distance. Do you think I look better from a distance? No, just more gullible.
27 September 2002
This isn't real. How about that... A fake head!
28 September 2002
GARFIELD! Present. DID YOU DO THAT?!! Hmm...let's see...callous disrespect for personal property... ...utter destruction on a scale incomprehensible to the civilized mind... And cat ahir everywhere. Nope.
29 September 2002
I'm going to have to get up. No, wait. I just got my second wind.
30 September 2002