bip beep boop boop - Hello, Evelyn? This is Jon Arbuckle. - Would you care to join me in a little fine dining this evening? - I know this cozy little out-of-the-way seafood bistro... - Wonderful food...great atmosphere... - Pardon? - Stinky
1 September 2002
Catch that mouse! - Okay. Hang on. Let me go slip on my running shoes. - Seems like a reasonable request.
2 September 2002
Any luck? - Some. - I got the potato chip, but the dip is just out of reach.
3 September 2002
Ahem... - I would like to thank everyone who made my mouse-of-the-year award possible. - Oh, Garfield... Can't you see I'm busy watching the mousehole?
4 September 2002
Garfield, why don't you catch mice? - Are you afraid of them? - What power do they have over you? Tiny little incriminating photographs.
5 September 2002
Hello, pest control? - There's a huge rat im my trash. - I HAVE a cat! You HAD a cat.
6 September 2002
...and then the giant mouse chased the evil cat away. - Everyone ate cheese and lived happily ever after. The End - That was an odd one. Excuse me. Who said you could borrow that?
7 September 2002
GYM - Wait here, Garfield. I've got to work out. - HUUUUP! Juice bar. - EEEYYYAHH Sauna - EEEERRGGGHHH Vending machine. - OOO! OOO! OOO! OOO! OOO! Hot tub. - Let's go get some ice cream. Cool down.
8 September 2002
- Shhhh - Stalking the wild pizza.
9 September 2002
You two should stop being so competitive. - Okay, Jon, we will. - But since you brought the subject up, which one of us would you say was more competitive?
10 September 2002
You know, Garfield... - Life is strange. - So is your shirt, but you don't hear me blaming life for it.
11 September 2002
Garfield, would you miss me if I went away? - Hmmm... - It's a deal!
12 September 2002
Once you think you've reached the pinncacle of boredom... 17,887...17,888...17,889... - 17,890 arm hairs! - ...the bar is raised once again. One...two...three...
13 September 2002
Oops, my pants are on backwards. - Are you sure it isn't you who's backwards? - Because frankly, your pants look smarter than you.
14 September 2002
- Sir, this is the 12-item express lane and you have 13. - Come on...it's just one mor eitem. Rules are rules. - GULP! - There...twelve. - GRAB SWISH *BEEP* KA-CHING! - I didn't know you had a bar code. Just keep pushing.
15 September 2002
Stay tuned for a recitation of the complete works of Shakespeare. - Sounds good. - I lost the remote.
16 September 2002
We're talking to hog farmer Earl Duroc... - Tell me, Earl, do they like being buried in the dirt like that? - Oh yeah, you water 'em and they grow real big. You got him hooked, Earl, now reel him in.
17 September 2002
The Action Channel presents... - The Adventures of Mark Veneer... - Te Crime-Fighting Mime! Writers' strike.
18 September 2002
And the winner of the ugly baby pageant is... - Little Roberta Saconski! - No pictures...PLEEEASE. I doubt if little Roberta will be asked to the prom.
19 September 2002
We clowns laugh on the outside. - And cry on the inside. - How fascinating, Binky. Tell us more. I'm awake on the outside and asleep on the inside.
20 September 2002
The caterpillar is emerging from the cocoon to become... - A RARE AMAZONIAN VAMPIRE MOTH! - NECK! IT'S ON MY NECK! Sometimes you can't improve upon real life.
21 September 2002
Table for two, please. - Well, this is a nice blind date. It sure is. - You're Jon, right? Yes...what is your name again? - Euphemia. MMMPH! - Do you find my name amusing? Nope! ...just a little leg cramp... - That's a funny expression for a
22 September 2002
Would you do me a favor? - Absolutely! - Eventually. Probably by accident. But it could happen. Never mind.
23 September 2002
I gotta dance! - OW! - I gotta call an ambulance! My knee!
24 September 2002
Anything happen around here today? - Well, aside from you asking me if anything happened around here today... - Nothing.
25 September 2002
I am so bored. - I'm drawing faces on all the pillows! - And Jon is so lonely.
26 September 2002
My date insisted that we sit at separate tables at the restaurant. - She said I look better from a distance. - Do you think I look better from a distance? No, just more gullible.
27 September 2002
This isn't real. - How about that... - A fake head!
28 September 2002
- GARFIELD! - Present. DID YOU DO THAT?!! - Hmm...let's see...callous disrespect for personal property... - ...utter destruction on a scale incomprehensible to the civilized mind... - And cat ahir everywhere. - Nope.
29 September 2002
I'm going to have to get up. - No, wait. - I just got my second wind.
30 September 2002