At last! Here it is, Garfield! Our new mega-home entertainment theatre. We have digital high definition, wide-screen, CD, VHS, DVD, CD-ROM, surround sound... ...and then there's the best part... Five, count 'em, five remotes! We canshare!
Jon, Jon Arbuckle! Don't you remember me? Uh...no! It's me...Bertha! I've lost 200 pounds! Wow. Well, gotta go! Good to see you. Yeah...you too. Wow. I can't believe she would let herself go like that.
Sigh... ...so I took her to this fancy restaurant and everything was going fine...when I missed my mouth and stuffed a breadstick up my nose. My date laughed an inhaled an olive. I jumped up to help her, not realizing that I had tuckedthe tablecloth into
Arbuckle Famils Reunion Z Jon, give your ol' aunt Trudy a kiss! Doc Boy, a pig? Were you raised in a barn?!! ...is that a trick question? ...what's that in your eyebrow? -how did you get rid of your bunion? ...a weed whacker. ...uncle Roy, have you seen
JON ARBUCKLE Man of Action ...member of the International Hall of Hunkhood... ...poster boy for testosterone... BONK THUD! POW! SOK DUCH BAM! Able to tame the wildest hearts! YAAAHHH! Another one of those"how-did-my-life-wind-up-like-this" drea
Garfield, I got us a bicycle. And check out my biking attire. Some call it attire. I call it underwear. We're going get oohs and aahs! And tee hees and ha has. DING DING DING DING DING Hello, ladies! DING DING Good-bye, dignity!
Got a minute, Garfield? Garfield, I'm so stressed out. The yard needs mowing. And the car needs an oil change. The house needs painting. But, at least I have you to comfort me. My litter box needs cleaning.
** DING DONG ** DING DONG Garfield, I'm getting a one-hour, in-home massage! Guten Tag. I am Helmut, your masseur. My, what big...knuckles you have. I set up a table here. You lie down, relax, und vee begin. CRACK Was that ME? Ja. -AAAAGGGHHHHH Only 59 mi
I have the feeling I'm going to have a good day. Thought you could lock me out, didn't you? I had to throw the birdbath through the picture window, and then pull up the mailbox to lean against the... That feeling is fading.
It's a beautiful day, boys. Everyone's out with their pets. Celebrating their shared lives. Showing their affection for one another. Oh no... Oh, the joyous union of human and animal! Her eit comes... Group hug!
bzzzzzz Hey, look...a cat. bzzzzzzzzz So it is. bzzzzzzz Let's buzz around his head a few hundred times. bzzzzz Cool! zzzzzz zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzz You don't suppose he finds this annoying, do you? Nah, everybody lovesflies. SMACK! SMACK!
Sigh... I need a date. I really, REALLY need a date. My soul aches for the mere presence of a woman in my general vicinity... My lonliness knows no bounds! My longing for companionship is unrivaled in the annals of human existence!...so, how about it? Tel
Excuse me...do I know you? You should. I was you back in 1978. Cool! So I'm the new, improved you! "New", yes, but "improved" is a matter of opinion. In my opinion, then, yes. However, your opinion is my opinion, and mine, yours;meani
Hi, Garfield. Jon, this ball of yarn is obsessed! What's going on? It has a mad crush on me, and won't leave me alone! Say, why don't you play with that ball of yarn, there? Will you LISTEN to the man?!
DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** You'd think the man had never been locked out of his house before.
Geez, look at me... I'm getting old. My cheeksa re puffy, my face is sagging... Look at the bags under my eyes. Wrinkles, too...and I'm getting a gut. What do you think I should do, Garfield? I think you should close the drapes.EEEK!
Hey, pal! Hey, hallucination. Wait a minute! What are you doing here? I only see you when I'm on a diet. Well, SURPRISE! I just heard your owner on the phone with the vet, and you're going on one now! I am not! I'll vouch for him.Oh, no! Pizzas NEVER lie
Tough audience. Boo! Booo! Boo! Boo! How about if I just fall of this fence and land on my head? Just gives you a awrm. fuzzy feeling for mankindm doesn't it? Yeah! All right! CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP
Irma's Diner Ready to order? Where's Irma? On vacation. Uh, will you be cooking our food? Nope. In that case we'll have the "Spanish Special". Tacos for two, and go light on the flies this time, Bubba. scratch scratch
Gee... twist twist I feel kinda bad... twist twist twist I slipped a habanero pepper into Jon's eclair. But I don't feel bad about that. I feel kinda bad about turning off the water main. GAAAAHHHH twist twist twist twist twisttwist
Z My foot's asleep. Z No, I'm not. Z I wasn't talking about yo. Z Oh sure, talk about your right foot. You've always liked him better! Will you shut up?! I'm trying to sleep! Hey! Don't make me separate you two! Z What am Isaying? WAAH!