1978 1979 1980 1981 1982 1983 1984 1985 1986 1987 1988 1989 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017
 
 


 
   
Garfield

Happy new year. Not from where I'M standing.

1 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I have no regrets, Garfield. Do you have any regrets? A few... Beginning with this stupid conversation.

2 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Just imagine the amazing things that will happen in the future. Like will I get the sesame seed from between my teeth?

3 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's celebrate! You're fat. Not the excuse I would have picked, but it'll do.

4 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

At last! Here it is, Garfield! Our new mega-home entertainment theatre. We have digital high definition, wide-screen, CD, VHS, DVD, CD-ROM, surround sound... ...and then there's the best part... Five, count 'em, five remotes! We canshare!

5 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

In the long run, I think bad luck and good luck even out. THUD I missed the chair. You're going to have to get on a really, really, REALLY long run of good lick to catch up, pal.

6 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Going somewhere? Uh-huh. And unfortunately for you, this is it.

7 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

CRASH! What was that? The new paperboy. He has quite an arm.

8 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

If you average them out, they're normal.

9 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, Cindy, I am a literally kind of guy. Actually, I'm writing my memoir. I'm up to my thumb-sucking years. That's three chapters.

10 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Any requests? Yeah! Hold still!

11 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, Jon Arbuckle! Don't you remember me? Uh...no! It's me...Bertha! I've lost 200 pounds! Wow. Well, gotta go! Good to see you. Yeah...you too. Wow. I can't believe she would let herself go like that.

12 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Is it my turn to decide what we do today? Yes. But it's my turn to say I don't want to do it.

13 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

The best things in life are free! How much would the SECOND-best things cost?

14 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

You're in medium-sized trouble, mister! Rats. That was hardly worth the effort.

15 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

It's one of those restless nights. When the weight of the world comes down on you. Like what if the refrigerator explodes?

16 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

You're getting fatter. I am? Whew! I thought the world was shrinking!

17 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I have disdain for you. Unless "disdain" means something good.

18 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh... ...so I took her to this fancy restaurant and everything was going fine...when I missed my mouth and stuffed a breadstick up my nose. My date laughed an inhaled an olive. I jumped up to help her, not realizing that I had tuckedthe tablecloth into

19 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

This sandwich tastes funny. You think YOU have problems... I have peanut butter between my toes.

20 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

There's something happening. I finally got the wildfire in my sock drawer under control! Out of the ordinary, I mean.

21 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't bother me. I said, don't bother me! You just insist on existing, don't you?!

22 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Check it out, Garfield. A tie is the crowning touch to any ensemble. And if you happen to have on that lights up... You'll be an easier target.

23 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I am really striking out, Garfield. Even "Gap-Toothed Gretta," the distance-spitting queen, shot me down. Too bad. She actually sounds like a fun date.

24 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm back from damaging the neighborhood! I just got off the phone. Wonderful! Saves me from having to fill you in on all the details.

25 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, check this out. I bet not even YOU could be this relaxed. OK, I'm humbled. Don't mess with the master.

26 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

You are the pet, I am the master. The most important thing in your life is your master's voice. Are you listening? Sorry, I was thinking about cereal.

27 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Where's your smile, friend? I must have left it on my other face.

28 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, do we have a toothpick? I have bread and ham stuck between my teeht... ...on second thought, do we have any cheese?

29 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Greetings...I am an alien life form bent on world domination. Why are you in the refrigerator? I used to be a meat loaf. JON!

30 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

That's it. No date. I tried every woman I know. He did, too. And even some I don't. Boy, were THEY surprised.

31 January 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm not going to share this cookie with you. GRAB I could've told you that.

1 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Arbuckle Famils Reunion Z Jon, give your ol' aunt Trudy a kiss! Doc Boy, a pig? Were you raised in a barn?!! ...is that a trick question? ...what's that in your eyebrow? -how did you get rid of your bunion? ...a weed whacker. ...uncle Roy, have you seen

2 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

How's that herbal tea? IT'S NOT COFFEE, THAT'S HOW IT IS!

3 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Awww. Rough day, Jon? Cheer up, Jon! Was I supposed to say that? At least YOU care.

4 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

RIIING May I speak the the head of the household? Speaking. Give me that!

5 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

You can be replaced. ALL RIGHT! That was an insult. How soon can we have someone here?

6 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I can read your mind. You're thinking, "why doesn't Jon feed me?" ...right? Close. Actually, it was, "why doesn't dork boy feed me?"

7 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

It's an amazing world we live in. They can put a man on the moon... Yet they can't make a computer that bounces. What was that crash?

8 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

JON ARBUCKLE Man of Action ...member of the International Hall of Hunkhood... ...poster boy for testosterone... BONK THUD! POW! SOK DUCH BAM! Able to tame the wildest hearts! YAAAHHH! Another one of those"how-did-my-life-wind-up-like-this" drea

9 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I've instututed my first tine.saving measure, Garfield. Are you ready for this? ...as I'll ever be. One button! It would be cruel to tell him about pullovers.

10 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Sad, lonely or sick... If I had to choose one... I'd pick lonely. Is that a shot?

11 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

This day is gone, Garfield. I thought It would never leave. We can't relive it. Relive "boring"? It's gone forever. Lock the door in case it wants to come back.

12 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

You are INSOLENT! Why thank you! Another adjective to add to my resume.

13 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

People seek me out for financial advice. Did you take my wallet?! I want a lawyer.

14 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon sys we don't have to go out to have fun. Jon says everything we need is right here. Jon says is't fun-with-hair-gel day.

15 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN... Good morning. It's sunday, and you know what that means... A humongous newspaper with COLOR funnies... And...and... Aaand... And that's all. But that's enough!

16 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I am the ghost of hamburgers past here to show you the error of your ways! GULP! Needed more of the ghost of ketchup past.

17 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Paper, mister? I wonder what the headline was. "Cat Shreds Newspaper"

18 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

There are some questions in life I'll never know the answers to... Like, "what's the capital of North Dakota?" I can never at that one.

19 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I think setting goals is very important. Good idea. Without a goal, how would you know when you failed?

20 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

See the bunny slipper, Garfield? The bunny is sad because he can't find his friend. Do you know where his friend is? It's just a hunch, but you might check the garbage disposal.

21 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, where's the canary, and what's that on the floor around you? I'm shedding feathers! I'm shedding feathers!

22 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Boogie break. Disco dork.

23 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

With my new journal, I can keep track of all the exciting things that happen to me! Darn. Darn. Darn. Darn. Darn. Darn. Darn. Darn. Darn. Day one: Every pen in the house ran out of ink.

24 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Walking is good for you, Garfield. But...what do I know... I didn't know knees could bend that way.

25 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to spend the evening trying out different kinds of shampoo! And one kind of furniture polish.

26 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder if Jon has food I can steal. I have some food you can steal! So much for the thrill of the hunt.

27 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

You should get closer to nature. Okay. Sitting next to a plastic fern doesn't count. I have much to learn.

28 February 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

It's fun time! Unless my watch is fast.

1 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I got us a bicycle. And check out my biking attire. Some call it attire. I call it underwear. We're going get oohs and aahs! And tee hees and ha has. DING DING DING DING DING Hello, ladies! DING DING Good-bye, dignity!

2 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Invisible Wall Ahead SMACK

3 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware of The Dog! He Bites Really Hard! However, He Can be Bribed. Translation: always carry meat.

4 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware of The Vicious Dog Well? The sign is a work of fiction. Any resemblance between it and me is purely coincidental.

5 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware of The Guard Dog RRRR What are you guarding? The sign. Ah.

6 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I chased my tail yesterday. Yes? And caught it. Good for you. And buried it. That's a little more information than I needed.

7 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I sniffed things in the front yard, and then I chased my tail. Later, I'm going to go sniff things in the BACKyard! The dog version of vital.

8 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Got a minute, Garfield? Garfield, I'm so stressed out. The yard needs mowing. And the car needs an oil change. The house needs painting. But, at least I have you to comfort me. My litter box needs cleaning.

9 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Hard work is its own reward! Okay, okay! Gimme the punch line!

10 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm thinking of burping. Burp I burped. You don't have lot going on, do you, Garfield?

11 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to spend the day doing nothing. Cough. Amateur.

12 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm i a rut, Garfield. I should travel...see the world. Pack my bags, put you in a kennel and take off! Excuse me?!

13 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

No one returns my calls, Garfield. Either I've alienated everyone I know... Or weevils have chewed through the phone lines! Ho, Jon. You've alineated the weevils, too.

14 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

We could use more furniture. I think one chair is plenty.

15 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

** DING DONG ** DING DONG Garfield, I'm getting a one-hour, in-home massage! Guten Tag. I am Helmut, your masseur. My, what big...knuckles you have. I set up a table here. You lie down, relax, und vee begin. CRACK Was that ME? Ja. -AAAAGGGHHHHH Only 59 mi

16 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Who wants to say something nice about me? You're fat. Next?

17 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm trying to decide which would be more exercise. Running around the block... Or running around you. How about running FROM me, smart guy?

18 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

You can't see your feet, can you? How do you know you're not wearing ballerina slippers? I hate it when he plants these doubts. Or golf shoes?

19 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

You're as light as a feather! Of course, I'm talking about the world's heaviest feather, you fat disgusting pig! I gotta work on leaving the room faster.

20 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmm... Maybe if I stood backwards on it... uoY era taf.

21 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

You were fat yesterday, you're fat today, and you'll be fat tomorrow. Garfield, you'll be fat till the day you die! Darn. He gave away the ending.

22 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z

23 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

clop clop clop clop Die time. Couldn't we just get carpet? clop clop

24 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Time to lose some weight. Nobody's home... And it's crowded in here.

25 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I like to visualize these rice cakes as a juicy steak dinner. I don't have your imagination. So I have to visualize this juicy steak dinner as a juicy steak dinner!

26 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder how Garfield is doing on his diet? If 11 donuts stick together it counts as one, right? I wonder a lot of things.

27 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Halt! Are you cheating on your diet? What's in here? That would be Skippy, my, ug...pet quirrel.

28 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

How's the diet going? It's going. ...going, gone!

29 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder what Odie's thinking? GULP shake shake shake BOOT! Oh, he's probably thinking fond thoughts of moi.

30 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

The news around the world isn'T all bad. I guess you can't be anywhere. Hey!

31 March 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

You have something stuck between your teeth, Garfield. Where? Right between your front ones. What is it? It's the refrigerator. Do we have any really big floss?

1 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going out, Garfield. Don't get into any trouble. At least nothing that involves a swat team. Then don't be long.

2 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

It's quiet around here. Want me to break something? I'm not complaining, mind you. Want me to break something quietly?

3 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I have the feeling I'm going to have a good day. Thought you could lock me out, didn't you? I had to throw the birdbath through the picture window, and then pull up the mailbox to lean against the... That feeling is fading.

4 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't think of anything to say. Darn it, Jon! Then how am I supposed to ignore you?!

5 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Yo! Yo! Yo! Garfield, what it is? Just chillin' in the crib, homey? I'm letting chicks know that I'm da bomb. I'm gonna scope the park wit' my bad self. Whoa! THUD! Tru dat.

6 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

There's just no pleasing you, is there?! Okay, once more, but this time with a little bit more emotion.

7 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

HA! HA! HAW! HAW! HAW! CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! Quit tickling the milkman!

8 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

This house needs fixing. I'll need some of those little pointy things... Nails? And one of those poundy things. Stop him.

9 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie swallowed my golf ball! I'll play as it lies. Get back here.

10 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't decide whether to stay here... Or go someplace else. Compromise.

11 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

This is one of those squirting flowers. This is one of those clawing paws. Can you say "detente"?

12 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

It's a beautiful day, boys. Everyone's out with their pets. Celebrating their shared lives. Showing their affection for one another. Oh no... Oh, the joyous union of human and animal! Her eit comes... Group hug!

13 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

My goal is to be a little less pathetic, Garfield. No! No! You can't do that, Jon! Think about your fans! You've set a standard to which losers everywhere aspire!

14 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, would you say I'm suave? Yes, I would. If you coated my body with honey and staked me down to an anthill. Debonair, even?

15 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I'm starting a garden! Tilling the soil...nurturing seed. And did I mention I'm wearing overalls? I knew there was an ulterior motive.

16 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

bip bip boop Hi, it's jus Jon calling to say hi... ...hi! Hey, let's go home and check my answering machine! Pity him.

17 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Chicks dig intellectual guys, soooooo... ZZZZZZZZZZ This makes my forehead look larger! Ah, the old "big brain" ploy.

18 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I sometimes feel like a failure at life. I was hoping for a little sympathy. That's another thing you've failed at.

19 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z Z Z **Z** -

20 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Slacker! Why are you just sitting there?! There's napping to be done, man! Go waway.

21 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN Is that all you have to do? Noooo... YAWN scratch scratch

22 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't want to be disturbed while I sleep. Or after I wake up, for that matter.

23 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's play a game, Garfield. Let's pretend you're vital. Let's pretend you're useful. Let's pretend gravity is great today.

24 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Breathe, Garfield. GASP! Lazy! I would have, eventually.

25 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to throw out everything moldy I can find. I hope you're cleaning out the refrigerator. Because if you're not, this is dandruff, not mold.

26 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Who wants to feed me? Who wants to fix food for the hungry kitty? Who wants to keep their lips? Is it dinner time already? You don't have to have the answers if you ask the right questions.

27 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I am now officially bored. Officially? I have a certificate. Cool!

28 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN Was that necessary? Have you ever spent any time with yourself?

29 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

You look bored. I'm not, really. This is just force of habit.

30 April 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Is that how you're going to spend your day? My day, my week, my month... You're pathetic. My year, my decade, and my century.

1 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Can I tell you something, Garfield? Something very personal... Something of great importance... I guess not.

2 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

My date had a great time tonight! I suspect. A no-show, huh?

3 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

How can you just LIE here like that?! Simple. Like this.

4 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

You don't scare me. I'm not trying to. Good, because you don't. Like I care. Oh, the bitter struggle between cat and dog.

5 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

You know what I hate? War? Pestilence? Poverty? Injustice? Humidity. Me too!

6 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Life...this is it, Garfield. This is all there is. No dessert?

7 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm finished running. Me too. Well... Finished. Didn't start. Whatever.

8 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Wow. What a beautiful sunset. What could be more beautiful than that? I'm going to say tuna salad.

9 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN! Uh-oh. My mouth is stuck open! Help me! Or throw some food in! Preferably the latter.

10 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

bzzzzzz Hey, look...a cat. bzzzzzzzzz So it is. bzzzzzzz Let's buzz around his head a few hundred times. bzzzzz Cool! zzzzzz zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzz You don't suppose he finds this annoying, do you? Nah, everybody lovesflies. SMACK! SMACK!

11 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

We have with us this morning the inventor of decaffeinated coffee. Sir, what inspired you? Z Sir?... Sir?... Z I'll drink to that.

12 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

We have with us the inventor of the tape recorder. Good evening, sir. Good evening, sir. Now, stop that! Now, stop that! THIS is why I watch television.

13 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Now back to "Grandma's Knitting Basket"! click-click clickety clickety click clickety cli @#M*%@!!! DROPPED A STITCH! Grandma's a colorful old gal.

14 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

We have with us tonight a man with...uh...one eye, in the middle of his forehead... Your name, sir? Cy. Cy Clops. GET HIM OUTTA HERE! Hey, I'll keep an eye out for ya! Hol don! That's a rubber eye!

15 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

The following is a rerun... And just why are we rerunning it? Because NOBODY watched it the first time! I'll watch!

16 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Our first guest tonight is a man who can't say no... Are you married, sir? No. Oops! Dang! Our next guest... Fame is fleeting.

17 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Throw rugs have it good.

18 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Z You woke up with a smile! I know... Help me!

19 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Are you gonna finish that? GARFIELD!

20 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

The stupid... You have to admire their consistency.

21 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie is missing and the vacuum cleaner is barking. And do you know WHY? Because *I* sure don't. Whew!

22 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

That hamburger had better be right THERE when I get back! GARFIELD! Problem?

23 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

GULP! Ha! I FOOLEd you! That was a fake WAX hamburger! Well, stick a wick in my navel and make a wish. pick pick

24 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh... I need a date. I really, REALLY need a date. My soul aches for the mere presence of a woman in my general vicinity... My lonliness knows no bounds! My longing for companionship is unrivaled in the annals of human existence!...so, how about it? Tel

25 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

What a beautiful, sunny day! We need heavier drapes.

26 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I know that look. Feed me. You want to be brushed, right? Or perhaps not. Feeeed meeeee

27 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I wish I could know what you're thinking... Is it "feed me"? Hel-LOOO, DR DOOLITTLE!

28 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I know that look. It's you "Who, me?!" look. This means you've done something awful. Who, me?

29 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I know that look...it's your "I ate your goldfish" look. Burrrrrrrrrp Wow, you're good.

30 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I know that look. That's your argumentative look. Sez who, beetle brain?

31 May 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Yup... There's a great big beautiful world out there. SLAM! I prefer my little ugly world in here. You're pathetic!

1 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I wonder what TRUE happiness is... CLONK Fill it up or I'll show you what it ain't.

2 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's play a game... You completely and utterly ignore me... And I'll sit here and pout. I sense that this is heading somewhere.

3 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

The washing machine keeps spitting out my dirty sweat socks. Can it do that? I know *I* would.

4 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Bath day.

5 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm tired of thinking deep thoughts, Garfield. Can nose hairs get dandruff? Ahh..back to the shallow end of the thinking pool.

6 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm making dancing fingers. Now I'm not. Now I'm wiggling my toes. Oh, to be less informed.

7 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I've gotta put a stop to this "aging" thing... I wonder if I walked backwards if I could reverse the process... FUMP Yeah...THAT took a few years off my life...

8 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I have another birthday coming soon. Oh, it's not invited, but it always drops in anyway.

9 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

25 years on this planet, and what have I accomplished? AB-SO-LUTELY NOTHING! What's with the smug grin? Please...modesty forbids.

10 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

25, huh? To what do you attribute your longevity? Ah.

11 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Soon I'll be turning 25...wow. The things I've seen...the things I've done... Well, the things I've seen, anyway.

12 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

25 years... A lot has happened in this world since I was born... -not that I had a HAND in any of it, mind you.

13 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm gonna be 25 years old...man, where did the time go? Is the fridge still this way? Yeah, help yourself. Thanks...me.

14 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Excuse me...do I know you? You should. I was you back in 1978. Cool! So I'm the new, improved you! "New", yes, but "improved" is a matter of opinion. In my opinion, then, yes. However, your opinion is my opinion, and mine, yours;meani

15 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

So, I was you, huh? A long time ago. How did I see out of those itty-bitty eyes? First explain how you stand on those two spindly legs.

16 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

This is fascinating! I'm watching myself eat! One of my favorite pastimes is now my favorite spectator sport!

17 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Shall we retire to the kitchen? Splendid idea. ...age before beauty. Excuse me? Who's the one turning 25 here? Har har har

18 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Today is my 25th birthday and I want to thank you for reading me. I'm not talking about the other readers, I'm talking to YOU. Thank YOU! From all of us!

19 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Things were so much better back in 1978. Better than 200 channels? Twoooo huhhh... huuuh... I'M NOT WORTHY! Wanna see the picture-in-picture?

20 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I hear a lot has happened since 1978. Like what? I hear disco died. Not i THIS house.

21 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Are you bored? I am. At least I think I am. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I am. ...or am I? Hmmmmmm...I gues Iam. You? Nope. Indecision fascinates me.

22 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Play time! No, thanks. Play time! You try too hard.

23 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh. Don't start. You don't bat me anymore. How'd you like another dryer ride?

24 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Fine! I don't need you! ...I can have fun all by myself! Whee! You're pathetic.

25 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Dad was a tube sock... Mom was a scarf... And poor sis neve rmade it off the sheep. Darn that wolf.

26 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Stop following me! But I want to play! Jon, would you just look at this?! What is it, Garfield? Why are there never any witnesses?

27 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, Garfield. Jon, this ball of yarn is obsessed! What's going on? It has a mad crush on me, and won't leave me alone! Say, why don't you play with that ball of yarn, there? Will you LISTEN to the man?!

28 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Ahhhh... I love grass. In the morning it's wet and cool... In the afternoon it's warm and soft... And at night it's the perfect cushion for stargazing. What a smile. What a lawn.

29 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I firmly believe you were put here to punish me. Not only that... I was put here to punish dogs, too. Odie?

30 June 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

...fancy white albacore, packed in spring water. sniff sniff Excellent! Very good, sir! Every cat should have his own tuna steward.

1 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Cream? Of course. Sugar? Pil eit on! Coffee? Just a splash.

2 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Thursdays are too far from the start of the week, and not close enough to the end. Thursdays just lie there. I shoul dhave named you "Thursday". That's "MR." Thursday to you.

3 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** You'd think the man had never been locked out of his house before.

4 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm tired... But I'm not SLEEPY... I want my money back!

5 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z Z Z Z I'd like to see you exercise sometime. You should see me sleep sometime.

6 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Women just don't seem to notice me, Garfield. Maybe I seem unapproachable...intimidating... That's IT! Jon Arbuckle: Man of Mystery! The Ego is a wonderfully resilient thing.

7 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Know why chicks dig me, Garfield? Because I know what drives 'em wild. Good oral hygiene. We're so lonely.

8 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Ellen says I remind her of a comic-book hereo. Which one, Ellen? "Lazer Man"? "The Adventures of Clown Boy"? Who, disguised as mild-mannered geek, Jon Arbuckle...

9 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't know about this dating thing, Garfield. I'm beginning to get a little discouraged. I mean, I'm almost up to the "X's". Hey, there's always the yellow pages.

10 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Beth, PLEASE go out with me! I PROMISE I won't embarrass you... ...like I did on our last date. *I* thought the twirling bow tie was a stitch.

11 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I finally got a date with Beth! It's three years from next thursday. Her calendar was kind of full. And your head is kind of empty.

12 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

BOOT! THUD Any doubt why I love this dog?

13 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

It's been said that cats have mystical powers... Is this true? You're looking for lotto numbers again, aren't you?

14 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

My hamburger! You're a pig! oink oink oink oink I like this game...what am I now?

15 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I swear I didn't eat your hamburger! It was...uh...Clive! Do you really exprect me to believe that "invisible friend! stuff?! BURP

16 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

knock knock knock Anybody you want eaten? It's for you, uncle Earl. There's one in every family.

17 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm not sleepy at all. Or hungry. STOP IT! STOP THE CRAZY TALK, JON!

18 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I can do anything you can do! Ow. Okay, so I CAN'T scratch the back of my head with my foot. Never challenge the Mighty Garfield!

19 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z Z tippy toe tippy toe Z ahem Z ring SMASH! Still to loud. Rats.

20 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

There's old uncle Ed... He had false teeth, a glass eye, a wooden leg, and a hock for a hand. He was a blast at family reunions. That was my guess.

21 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, look! My old high-shool gym shorts! Mom always sewed name tags into all my gym clothes... I see also sewed "front" and "back" tags in them, too. What?

22 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, mom sent me a box full of my baby teeth! I lost them all on the same day, you know. Darn ol' tree. I wonder what's on TV?

23 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Mom sent me an old blanket. That's funny. I never had a special blanket when I was a ki RIIING Don't get emotional, Doc Boy. I'll send it back right away. Yes, Doc Boy... Sigh.

24 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, mom sent me some drawings I did when I was little! That's a chicken. You're holding it upside down. It's supposed to look alive?

25 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's another drawing I did when I was little. It's a cow. See where it says "cow" next to that little arrow pointig to it? Clever use of symbolism.

26 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Geez, look at me... I'm getting old. My cheeksa re puffy, my face is sagging... Look at the bags under my eyes. Wrinkles, too...and I'm getting a gut. What do you think I should do, Garfield? I think you should close the drapes.EEEK!

27 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I just ate an entire meal... ...and you didn't steal any of it. Happy birthday!

28 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm in a nostalgia mood. BURP Aaah...lunch!

29 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you can be very destructive. I can? I wasn't giving you permission! Too late! I already broke something!

30 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I am drawing ever closer to inner peace. That's my new name for a nap.

31 July 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Tell me, Maureen, do you hate me more than you used to? The same? I call that progress! You da man!

1 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

don't believe it! Garfield only ate half of his food! I took a break for a snack. Oh.

2 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, I'm a do-nothin' kinda guy. But, I do nothin' very well. I fact, I'm the dean of do-nothin'! A LEAN, MEAN, DO-NOTHIN' MACHINE! How you doing? Feeling vital, thank you!

3 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Dark shirt. Cat. Tah daaah.

4 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I', going to vacuum this cat hair off the rug. Think, Jon! If you left the cat hair, we wouldn't NEED a rug!

5 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Sometimes it's good to count your blessings. Cat hair is NOT a blessing. Well, it comes in handy if you're a cat.

6 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

A cat hair! I thought you were DONE shedding! So did I. Ah, it's the spare.

7 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

If I see ONE more cat hair around here, I'm going to LOSE it. poink YAAAAHH! Definitely worth the price of admission.

8 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

My life has no meaning. You know...when you don't move, you shed less. What was I thinking?

9 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

? Open your mouth, dummy. There it is, dummy. SLURP!

10 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Do snails do ANYthing fast? No.

11 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

* RING...RING... That'll be mom. I'd better take it... * RING She's calling long distance. Where does she live? * RING Behind that shrub over there.

12 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

rub rub rub rub rub That was very affectionate, Garfield. I had peanut butter on my hands.

13 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

My sock puppet is in the wash. Sydney shoe just isn't the same. My foot is cold.

14 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I've been all over the world! Which is no big deal... I can see the edge of it from here.

15 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Ah... What a beautiful day! It's raining. Not in the kitchen.

16 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, look at you! That's quite a smile! It's nice to see you in a good mood for a change. I SAT ON A MOUSETRAP.

17 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

As time passes, you get fatter and fatter. Ah yes, the age-old dilemma, Jon. How to stop time.

18 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Sniff...it's lonely being a scale. Nobody listens to me. I'll listen. You're about eleven pounds shy of a big rig! I walked right into that one.

19 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

You're fat. Fat? Really fat... Really fat? Really, really fat. Oh! Really, really fat. I knew that.

20 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Wow! Congratulations! On what? You are now officially prohibited from crossing some bridges.

21 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

You're fat. How about now? You may LOOK smaller, but you're still fat!

22 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Just once I'd like to hear something nice form you. Oh, how wonderful it would be to soar through the sky like an eagle, so proud and free. I mean about me. You'd never get off the ground.

23 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, pal! Hey, hallucination. Wait a minute! What are you doing here? I only see you when I'm on a diet. Well, SURPRISE! I just heard your owner on the phone with the vet, and you're going on one now! I am not! I'll vouch for him.Oh, no! Pizzas NEVER lie

24 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Been climbing trees? I know, diet time.

25 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

You may have an entire grape for a snack! HOW ABOUT A DROP OF WATER TO WASH IT DOWN?!

26 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm only having ONE meatball.

27 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I like celery. Oh, me too! That's why I've dressed this stalk up in its own little outfit! You're supposed to eat it. CANNIBAL!

28 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

"Cheeesecaaake". I was right! What? You just gained a pund.

29 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm off my diet. I'm on my diet. I'm off my diet.

30 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

BURP * Teddy bears are like keys...they're always in the first place you think they'd be, and the last place you look.

31 August 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I want to be left alone. Unless you're a chocolate chip cookie!

1 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

This house is a mess. We shouls do something about it. Any suggestions? Do what I do. Close your eyes.

2 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm off on a long journey! Ran out of table.

3 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Someday, tree, when you grow big enough, I might climb you! I hope to heck I'm a redwood.

4 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

You know what we could use in our lives? A wacky adventure! I'm in. As long as it's not too wacky or overly adventurous.

5 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

ah AH AH CHOO Don't ask.

6 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmmm... A sack. They say cats find sacks fun. Whee. We're having some fun now. Oh, when will the fun ever end?

7 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello there, ol' pal, ol' buddy, ol' pal! And Jon!

8 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

All right! When it freezes over, we can go skating.

9 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

We were out of chocolate chips, so I used bacon bits. Cats aren't famous for their baking skills. UNTIL NOW!

10 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to hang my jacket in the closet. Uh...Jon... CAT HAIR! That's where I go to shed.

11 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm trying to decide which woman to call for a date. There are so many in the phone book. How to choose... Look under "D" for "desperate".

12 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I just accidentally knocked your Ming dynasty vase off the and broke it! Just kidding! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! It wasn't an accident.

13 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Here comes my big greeting. Hey! Where's my big greeting? SLURP!! Oh, there it is.

14 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Pay attention to me, world! Maybe the world is over here.

15 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

There's a great big wonderful world out there! I hope it doesn't collide with this one!

16 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

...and then...uh...I forget what happened. Oh, great! YOU TOLD ME A STORY FOR AN HOUR AND FORGOT THE ENDING?! If I had been paying attention, I would really be upset!

17 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Would this be a bad time to ask you to help get this piece of sofa off my claws?

18 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's see... YAHOO! Buy new curtains.

19 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Whoa... That's amazing! I fell of my chair. So you didn't suddenly become invisible?

20 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Too much sun isn't good for you. If you say so. But SOME sun is okay. If you say so. -

21 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

SPLAT SPLUT SPLOT Thanks for the warm-up!

22 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

A funny thing happened on the way to the fence! And, boy, I wish you had been there.

23 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Who wants to hear me sing a song? Isn't that cute? The audience is too shy to speak up. Is not.

24 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

* Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow ** Come on! Everybody join in! What?! You don't know the words?!

25 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

The entire audience is asleep. Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Time to check their pockets for candy! Z Z Z Z Z Z

26 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Tough audience. Boo! Booo! Boo! Boo! How about if I just fall of this fence and land on my head? Just gives you a awrm. fuzzy feeling for mankindm doesn't it? Yeah! All right! CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP

27 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I have the last cookie! The VERY last one! And I'm not sharing! Okay, okay, this is plastic. Gee, I wonder what happened to the last REAL cookie. BURP

28 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

It's a cold, dark morning. It's hailing...locusts are eating the lawn... The fence is on fire... Just another average monday.

29 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, worm...worm? Yes? I thought this was your front door. It is. I'm sweeping out my garage.

30 September 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

My pen is out of ink. Mand my ink is out of pen. Hey! That's my best shirt! Not anymore.

1 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Is this seat taken? Be my guest. CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP Guess what escaped from the zzoo? Perchance a beaver? Burp

2 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

CRASH CRASH CRASH What a world we live in! It's getting so you can't take a stroll through the kitchen cabinets without knocking over a bunch of dishes!

3 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I dream great dreams. And I let my mind go blank while staring off into space... With the same net results, I'd say.

4 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

ROBOTS HAVE TAKEN OVER THE WORLD! What's so great about this? I could have told you.

5 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Chase the ball, Garfield! What did I ever do to YOU?

6 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

A cookie crumb. Can't...reach...it... Why don't you move? I assume you're talking to the crumb...

7 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

What are you doing, Garfield? Ah...breathing, I see... Well, don't overdo it. I sense sarcasm.

8 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I thought I left my keys around here somewhere. Ow.

9 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going out running. Me too. Except for the "going out" part. And that "running" thing.

10 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm exhaused. I think I'll... Keep doing this.

11 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh... Time to get ready to start the day. Um...what are you doing? Getting ready to get ready to start the day.

12 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

What's new? Nothing. SMACK How about now? That IS a conversation starter.

13 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I am the ghost of a spider you once swatted! SWAT Ghost of a rolled-up newspaper.

14 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Ow! I bit my tongue! Ack! Being a poisonous spider has its drawbacks.

15 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

You gotta see this. I am so proud! flip flip flip flip flip What's this? Pictures of my 73,000 grandchildren!

16 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, cat. Yo. Would you do me a favor? Sure. Would you bring me a ladder? I'm out of this web stuff. Pathetic.

17 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I wanted to take dance lessons. But do you know how much they charge spiders because of the extra feet?! And you don't even want to hear what tap shoes cost! I'm sure I won't.

18 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z WOOF I love you too, Odie.

19 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder if I'd miss you if you went away. Noce try.

20 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, I need to express myself. So I've taken up painting. I call it "Stupid in Green".

21 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Does this color look good on me? Absolutely. But it looks lousy on that shirt.

22 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

saw saw saw What is this?! Either my calculations are off, of he moved the refrigerator.

23 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I wish *I* had nothing to do! I wish *I* weren't so busy! You're right. That dot-to-dot book isn't going to connect itself.

24 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

BARK BARK BARK BARK To be perfectly honest, I'm rather fond of cats. And yet tradition is upheld. BARK BARK BARK

25 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Irma's Diner Ready to order? Where's Irma? On vacation. Uh, will you be cooking our food? Nope. In that case we'll have the "Spanish Special". Tacos for two, and go light on the flies this time, Bubba. scratch scratch

26 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Have you heard the strange, ghostly sounds around this house lately? ARRRRROOOOOOOOO Could we discuss this after dinner?

27 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

CHING! INCOMING!!! zzzzzzzzzzzz Toasters...every now and then you get a mean one.

28 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Our toasters is possessed by an evil spirit. You think I*'m nuts, don't you? Nonsense. You'll have to pardon me though, while I slowly back away to what I deem to be a safe distance.

29 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, our toaster IS possessed by an evil spirit. Oh? I wasn't sure of it before, but I am now. And why, pray tell, is that? It spit poppy seeds all over me. You look like a giant dummy roll.

30 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, Hank's Appliance Repair? I have a toaster possessed by an evil spirit...can you come and take a look at click He hung up on me! No, I think the toaster cut the phone line.

31 October 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

What does one do with a toaster that's possessed? SMACK Unplug it, stupid!

1 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

GROWLLLLL I need a snack. A big snack. A huge snack... A great big huge whoa-momma honking snack! Grape? I swear I'll never understand that boy.

2 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

You going someplace? No place. And believe me, this is it.

3 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Sorry I'm late. Oh, SURE you are! Now that we're out of shoes and fruit!

4 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I was thinking... All right! Way to go, Jon! I wasn't done with my statement. Quit while you're ahead, dummy.

5 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! Aw, what's the use? Nobody appreciates me. Shaddup, you stupid mutt! There you go! Gee, maybe I'm wrong.

6 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

ROWR! ROWR! ROWR! ROWR! Gee... This collar DOES chafe. Told you!

7 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

scratch scratch scratch How does he keep it up?

8 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Gee... twist twist I feel kinda bad... twist twist twist I slipped a habanero pepper into Jon's eclair. But I don't feel bad about that. I feel kinda bad about turning off the water main. GAAAAHHHH twist twist twist twist twisttwist

9 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

That book can't be more interesting than me. What's new with you, Garfield? That's none of your business.

10 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

BARK BARK BARK BARK Are you even listening to me? Yes, I am... You were saying something about smelling bad, having fleas, and being ugly.

11 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Life is complicated... You're born. You eat. You sleep. You croak. ...for some of us.

12 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Ahem WOOF ! Have you been lifting weights?

13 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I caught the mouse! Then guess what happened? Hey, who's telling this story? Well excuuuse me!

14 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

It's Jon! I'm out of food. Can we get a different Jon in here? snap snap

15 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmmm. If I eat Jon's bagel, he'll be angry with me. But if I don't, I'LL be angry with me... What should I do? You ate my bagel! But I'm pleased with myself.

16 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Cats are dangerous! YAWN Or so I've heard. scratch scratch scratch

17 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN BURP scratch scratch scratch You're a bad influence on the vermin. Hey!

18 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Did you spit out your gum, Garfield? Nope. I put it in your sandwich until after lunch.

19 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

WHEW! Your tuna breath could peel the paint off the walls! What do you mean, "could"?

20 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Killer Sock Puppet! Get Back! You have to sleep sometime. My hand is ever alert. If you could ever get a date, we wouldn't have to play these dumb games. Wanna go get a pizza?

21 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Man, am I sleepy! I 'm so sleepy I couldn't sleep! With you, it's just one novel idea after another, isn't it?

22 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Z My foot's asleep. Z No, I'm not. Z I wasn't talking about yo. Z Oh sure, talk about your right foot. You've always liked him better! Will you shut up?! I'm trying to sleep! Hey! Don't make me separate you two! Z What am Isaying? WAAH!

23 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

The future lies before us! Or is that the past? Hard to tell them apart.

24 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

What if we could see into the future, Garfield? Even just five years into the future...what would we see? Probably this, and hopefully with a fresher pot of coffee.

25 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Care to join me, Garfield? I'm contemplating life. WHOA! Sound like you have it covered. OH NOOO!

26 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Today's the day... The day you're all allowed to eat without any guilt whatsoever. WELCOME TO MY WORLD!!!

27 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's your shopping list, Jon. That won't fit in the car. "A...bigger...car".

28 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

BAT I'm having the time of my life! Trading places was a bad idea.

29 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

-

30 November 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

CHRISTMAS IS COMING! SHOPPING! CARDS! WRAPPING! RELATIVES! Panicked yet?

1 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Christmas is coming! Have you been good? Me neither. Let this be our little secret.

2 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Have you thought about what you want for Christmas, Garfield? YOU THINK TOO MUCH!

3 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

...we now return to our holiday special... "The Christmas that almost wasn't". Saw it. Rudolph gets a runny nose.

4 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I really should get around to baking some Christmas cookies. If I know what's good for me. You're stealing my lines again.

5 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Wanna share a candy cane? That's not sharing! I'll save you the stripe.

6 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I love Christmas. I love Christmas. I'm a carrier.

7 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

You got a Christmas card from our neighbor, Mrs. Feeny. She says she hopes you get coal in your stocking... A big ol' hot, fiery coal. Yeah, yeah. I love her, too.

8 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome back. We now return to "Murray Needleman..." "The roadside assistance specialist who saved Christmas!" So THAT'S how you tow a reindeer.

9 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I remember Christmas back on the farm... Uh-oh. The family, the food, the caroling... Here we go. ...decorating thr goat... -and there we went.

10 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Yes...I see, thank you, goodbye. That was the mall. You are no longer welcome at "Santa's Happy Hollow". Fink elves.

11 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Yes, I went shopping. And yes, I bought your Christmas present. And yes, I hid it. Then the game's afoot!

12 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm heavily into tradition this holiday season. -EVERY... -COOKIE ...GONE!! -AGAIN!!! As I was saying...

13 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Pick a spot and LEAVE it there! Have you no sense of aesthetics?!

14 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Hallo?... Hi, Grandma! Happy holidays! Here? ...oh, cold, blowing and snowing...you? It's 88 in Cancun. Yeah, but with the wind chill, it's 87.

15 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, Garfield, a card from Doc Boy! "Happy anniversary, my dearest, on this our wedding day. Love, Doc Boy." What does it mean? It means the feed and grain store was out of Christmas cards.

16 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

When it comes to wrapping presents, nobody's faster than me! I said, I was fast, not neat. I picked up on that.

17 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

I never received a Christmas card from you, Ellen. It must have gotten lost in the mail. Lost mail isn't THAT funny, Ellen.

18 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't get me wrong...it's not that I don't like Christmas. I LOVE Christmas... But what's with this "once a year" thing?!

19 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh. Christmas never comes soon enough. The best holidays always arrive fashionably late.

20 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

* RIIING Hello? Yes, he's here. Who's calling? You PAGED Santa?!! Hey, his E-Mail server has been down all morning.

21 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

? sniff sniff sniff sniff -

22 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

-

23 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

It's Christmas eve...presents are wrapped, carols are sung, and Santa's snack is out and waiting. There's only one thing left to do... -not be able to fall asleep all night.

24 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Ahem... A on, and a two, and a... MERRY CHRISTMAS!

25 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, no! Christmas is gone! DID I SAY YOU COULD LEAVE?!

26 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Denise, I need a date for new year's...I'm begging you...I'll do anything. Um. I don't think I can locate a chicken suit and a camera crew on such short notice. Don't think he won't try, though.

27 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

You know what I like about bowling, boys? It's a great way to meet girls! KA-BANG THUMP THUMP OUCH THUMP OOF! EEK! THUMP And their angry boyfriends.

28 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Whoa. I put on a few pounds over the holidays. Hey! Hey! No one likes a braggart, pal.

29 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you know what would be fun? Jon, pay careful attention... If I did, would I be standing here?

30 December 2003
 
 
   
Garfield

You want to wear the hat for a while? I don't think I could do it justice.

31 December 2003
 




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