At last! - Here it is, Garfield! - Our new mega-home entertainment theatre. - We have digital high definition, wide-screen, CD, VHS, DVD, CD-ROM, surround sound... - ...and then there's the best part... - Five, count 'em, five remotes! We can
- Jon, Jon Arbuckle! - Don't you remember me? Uh...no! - It's me...Bertha! - I've lost 200 pounds! Wow. - Well, gotta go! Good to see you. Yeah...you too. - Wow. I can't believe she would let herself go like that.
Sigh... - ...so I took her to this fancy restaurant and everything was going fine...when I missed my mouth and stuffed a breadstick up my nose. - My date laughed an inhaled an olive. I jumped up to help her, not realizing that I had tucked
- Arbuckle Famils Reunion Z Jon, give your ol' aunt Trudy a kiss! Doc Boy, a pig? Were you raised in a barn?!! ...is that a trick question? ...what's that in your eyebrow? - ---how did you get rid of your bunion? ...a weed whacker. ...uncle Roy, have you seen my
- JON ARBUCKLE Man of Action - ...member of the International Hall of Hunkhood... - ...poster boy for testosterone... BONK THUD! POW! SOK DUCH BAM! - Able to tame the wildest hearts! - YAAAHHH! - Another one of those
- Garfield, I got us a bicycle. - And check out my biking attire. Some call it attire. I call it underwear. - We're going get oohs and aahs! And tee hees and ha has. - DING DING DING DING DING - Hello, ladies! DING DING Good-bye, dignity!
Got a minute, Garfield? - Garfield, I'm so stressed out. - The yard needs mowing. - And the car needs an oil change. - The house needs painting. - But, at least I have you to comfort me. - My litter box needs cleaning.
** DING DONG - ** DING DONG Garfield, I'm getting a one-hour, in-home massage! - Guten Tag. I am Helmut, your masseur. My, what big...knuckles you have. - I set up a table here. You lie down, relax, und vee begin. - CRACK - Was that ME? Ja. -
I have the feeling I'm going to have a good day. - Thought you could lock me out, didn't you? - I had to throw the birdbath through the picture window, and then pull up the mailbox to lean against the... That feeling is fading.
- It's a beautiful day, boys. - Everyone's out with their pets. - Celebrating their shared lives. - Showing their affection for one another. Oh no... - Oh, the joyous union of human and animal! Her eit comes... - Group hug!
- Who wants to feed me? - - Who wants to fix food for the hungry kitty? - - Who wants to keep their lips? Is it dinner time already? - You don't have to have the answers if you ask the right questions.
- bzzzzzz Hey, look...a cat. bzzzzzzzzz So it is. - bzzzzzzz Let's buzz around his head a few hundred times. bzzzzz Cool! - zzzzzz zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzz - You don't suppose he finds this annoying, do you? Nah, everybody loves
We have with us tonight a man with...uh...one eye, in the middle of his forehead... - Your name, sir? Cy. Cy Clops. - GET HIM OUTTA HERE! Hey, I'll keep an eye out for ya! Hol don! That's a rubber eye!
Sigh... - I need a date. - I really, REALLY need a date. - My soul aches for the mere presence of a woman in my general vicinity... - My lonliness knows no bounds! My longing for companionship is unrivaled in the annals of human existence!
- Excuse me...do I know you? You should. - I was you back in 1978. - Cool! So I'm the new, improved you! "New", yes, but "improved" is a matter of opinion. - In my opinion, then, yes. However, your opinion is my opinion, and mine, yours;
Hi, Garfield. Jon, this ball of yarn is obsessed! - What's going on? It has a mad crush on me, and won't leave me alone! - Say, why don't you play with that ball of yarn, there? Will you LISTEN to the man?!
DING-DONG ** - DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** - DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** You'd think the man had never been locked out of his house before.
Geez, look at me... - I'm getting old. - My cheeksa re puffy, my face is sagging... - Look at the bags under my eyes. - Wrinkles, too...and I'm getting a gut. - What do you think I should do, Garfield? - I think you should close the drapes.
- Hey, pal! Hey, hallucination. - Wait a minute! - What are you doing here? I only see you when I'm on a diet. - Well, SURPRISE! - I just heard your owner on the phone with the vet, and you're going on one now! I am not! - I'll vouch for him.
Tough audience. Boo! Booo! Boo! Boo! - How about if I just fall of this fence and land on my head? - Just gives you a awrm. fuzzy feeling for mankindm doesn't it? Yeah! All right! CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP
Irma's Diner - Ready to order? - Where's Irma? On vacation. - Uh, will you be cooking our food? Nope. - In that case we'll have the "Spanish Special". - Tacos for two, and go light on the flies this time, Bubba. scratch scratch
- - Gee... twist twist - I feel kinda bad... - twist twist twist I slipped a habanero pepper into Jon's eclair. - But I don't feel bad about that. - I feel kinda bad about turning off the water main. GAAAAHHHH twist twist twist twist twist
- Z My foot's asleep. - Z No, I'm not. - Z I wasn't talking about yo. - Z Oh sure, talk about your right foot. You've always liked him better! - Will you shut up?! I'm trying to sleep! Hey! Don't make me separate you two! - Z What am I