What does one do with a toaster that's possessed? SMACK Unplug it, stupid!
1 November 2003
GROWLLLLL I need a snack. A big snack. A huge snack... A great big huge whoa-momma honking snack! Grape? I swear I'll never understand that boy.
2 November 2003
You going someplace? No place. And believe me, this is it.
3 November 2003
Sorry I'm late. Oh, SURE you are! Now that we're out of shoes and fruit!
4 November 2003
I was thinking... All right! Way to go, Jon! I wasn't done with my statement. Quit while you're ahead, dummy.
5 November 2003
BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! Aw, what's the use? Nobody appreciates me. Shaddup, you stupid mutt! There you go! Gee, maybe I'm wrong.
6 November 2003
ROWR! ROWR! ROWR! ROWR! Gee... This collar DOES chafe. Told you!
7 November 2003
scratch scratch scratch How does he keep it up?
8 November 2003
Gee... twist twist I feel kinda bad... twist twist twist I slipped a habanero pepper into Jon's eclair. But I don't feel bad about that. I feel kinda bad about turning off the water main. GAAAAHHHH twist twist twist twist twisttwist
9 November 2003
That book can't be more interesting than me. What's new with you, Garfield? That's none of your business.
10 November 2003
BARK BARK BARK BARK Are you even listening to me? Yes, I am... You were saying something about smelling bad, having fleas, and being ugly.
11 November 2003
Life is complicated... You're born. You eat. You sleep. You croak. ...for some of us.
12 November 2003
Ahem WOOF ! Have you been lifting weights?
13 November 2003
I caught the mouse! Then guess what happened? Hey, who's telling this story? Well excuuuse me!
14 November 2003
It's Jon! I'm out of food. Can we get a different Jon in here? snap snap
15 November 2003
Hmmm. If I eat Jon's bagel, he'll be angry with me. But if I don't, I'LL be angry with me... What should I do? You ate my bagel! But I'm pleased with myself.
16 November 2003
Cats are dangerous! YAWN Or so I've heard. scratch scratch scratch
17 November 2003
YAWN BURP scratch scratch scratch You're a bad influence on the vermin. Hey!
18 November 2003
Did you spit out your gum, Garfield? Nope. I put it in your sandwich until after lunch.
19 November 2003
WHEW! Your tuna breath could peel the paint off the walls! What do you mean, "could"?
20 November 2003
Killer Sock Puppet! Get Back! You have to sleep sometime. My hand is ever alert. If you could ever get a date, we wouldn't have to play these dumb games. Wanna go get a pizza?
21 November 2003
Man, am I sleepy! I 'm so sleepy I couldn't sleep! With you, it's just one novel idea after another, isn't it?
22 November 2003
Z My foot's asleep. Z No, I'm not. Z I wasn't talking about yo. Z Oh sure, talk about your right foot. You've always liked him better! Will you shut up?! I'm trying to sleep! Hey! Don't make me separate you two! Z What am Isaying? WAAH!
23 November 2003
The future lies before us! Or is that the past? Hard to tell them apart.
24 November 2003
What if we could see into the future, Garfield? Even just five years into the future...what would we see? Probably this, and hopefully with a fresher pot of coffee.
25 November 2003
Care to join me, Garfield? I'm contemplating life. WHOA! Sound like you have it covered. OH NOOO!
26 November 2003
Today's the day... The day you're all allowed to eat without any guilt whatsoever. WELCOME TO MY WORLD!!!
27 November 2003
Here's your shopping list, Jon. That won't fit in the car. "A...bigger...car".
28 November 2003
BAT I'm having the time of my life! Trading places was a bad idea.
29 November 2003
30 November 2003