CHRISTMAS IS COMING! SHOPPING! CARDS! WRAPPING! RELATIVES! Panicked yet?
1 December 2003
Christmas is coming! Have you been good? Me neither. Let this be our little secret.
2 December 2003
Have you thought about what you want for Christmas, Garfield? YOU THINK TOO MUCH!
3 December 2003
...we now return to our holiday special... "The Christmas that almost wasn't". Saw it. Rudolph gets a runny nose.
4 December 2003
I really should get around to baking some Christmas cookies. If I know what's good for me. You're stealing my lines again.
5 December 2003
Wanna share a candy cane? That's not sharing! I'll save you the stripe.
6 December 2003
I love Christmas. I love Christmas. I'm a carrier.
7 December 2003
You got a Christmas card from our neighbor, Mrs. Feeny. She says she hopes you get coal in your stocking... A big ol' hot, fiery coal. Yeah, yeah. I love her, too.
8 December 2003
Welcome back. We now return to "Murray Needleman..." "The roadside assistance specialist who saved Christmas!" So THAT'S how you tow a reindeer.
9 December 2003
I remember Christmas back on the farm... Uh-oh. The family, the food, the caroling... Here we go. ...decorating thr goat... -and there we went.
10 December 2003
Yes...I see, thank you, goodbye. That was the mall. You are no longer welcome at "Santa's Happy Hollow". Fink elves.
11 December 2003
Yes, I went shopping. And yes, I bought your Christmas present. And yes, I hid it. Then the game's afoot!
12 December 2003
I'm heavily into tradition this holiday season. -EVERY... -COOKIE ...GONE!! -AGAIN!!! As I was saying...
13 December 2003
Pick a spot and LEAVE it there! Have you no sense of aesthetics?!
14 December 2003
Hallo?... Hi, Grandma! Happy holidays! Here? ...oh, cold, blowing and snowing...you? It's 88 in Cancun. Yeah, but with the wind chill, it's 87.
15 December 2003
Look, Garfield, a card from Doc Boy! "Happy anniversary, my dearest, on this our wedding day. Love, Doc Boy." What does it mean? It means the feed and grain store was out of Christmas cards.
16 December 2003
When it comes to wrapping presents, nobody's faster than me! I said, I was fast, not neat. I picked up on that.
17 December 2003
I never received a Christmas card from you, Ellen. It must have gotten lost in the mail. Lost mail isn't THAT funny, Ellen.
18 December 2003
Don't get me wrong...it's not that I don't like Christmas. I LOVE Christmas... But what's with this "once a year" thing?!
19 December 2003
Sigh. Christmas never comes soon enough. The best holidays always arrive fashionably late.
20 December 2003
* RIIING Hello? Yes, he's here. Who's calling? You PAGED Santa?!! Hey, his E-Mail server has been down all morning.
21 December 2003
? sniff sniff sniff sniff -
22 December 2003
23 December 2003
It's Christmas eve...presents are wrapped, carols are sung, and Santa's snack is out and waiting. There's only one thing left to do... -not be able to fall asleep all night.
24 December 2003
Ahem... A on, and a two, and a... MERRY CHRISTMAS!
25 December 2003
Oh, no! Christmas is gone! DID I SAY YOU COULD LEAVE?!
26 December 2003
Denise, I need a date for new year's...I'm begging you...I'll do anything. Um. I don't think I can locate a chicken suit and a camera crew on such short notice. Don't think he won't try, though.
27 December 2003
You know what I like about bowling, boys? It's a great way to meet girls! KA-BANG THUMP THUMP OUCH THUMP OOF! EEK! THUMP And their angry boyfriends.
28 December 2003
Whoa. I put on a few pounds over the holidays. Hey! Hey! No one likes a braggart, pal.
29 December 2003
Do you know what would be fun? Jon, pay careful attention... If I did, would I be standing here?
30 December 2003
You want to wear the hat for a while? I don't think I could do it justice.
31 December 2003