It's fun time! Unless my watch is fast.
1 March 2003
Garfield, I got us a bicycle. And check out my biking attire. Some call it attire. I call it underwear. We're going get oohs and aahs! And tee hees and ha has. DING DING DING DING DING Hello, ladies! DING DING Good-bye, dignity!
2 March 2003
Invisible Wall Ahead SMACK
3 March 2003
Beware of The Dog! He Bites Really Hard! However, He Can be Bribed. Translation: always carry meat.
4 March 2003
Beware of The Vicious Dog Well? The sign is a work of fiction. Any resemblance between it and me is purely coincidental.
5 March 2003
Beware of The Guard Dog RRRR What are you guarding? The sign. Ah.
6 March 2003
I chased my tail yesterday. Yes? And caught it. Good for you. And buried it. That's a little more information than I needed.
7 March 2003
I sniffed things in the front yard, and then I chased my tail. Later, I'm going to go sniff things in the BACKyard! The dog version of vital.
8 March 2003
Got a minute, Garfield? Garfield, I'm so stressed out. The yard needs mowing. And the car needs an oil change. The house needs painting. But, at least I have you to comfort me. My litter box needs cleaning.
9 March 2003
Hard work is its own reward! Okay, okay! Gimme the punch line!
10 March 2003
I'm thinking of burping. Burp I burped. You don't have lot going on, do you, Garfield?
11 March 2003
I'm going to spend the day doing nothing. Cough. Amateur.
12 March 2003
I'm i a rut, Garfield. I should travel...see the world. Pack my bags, put you in a kennel and take off! Excuse me?!
13 March 2003
No one returns my calls, Garfield. Either I've alienated everyone I know... Or weevils have chewed through the phone lines! Ho, Jon. You've alineated the weevils, too.
14 March 2003
We could use more furniture. I think one chair is plenty.
15 March 2003
** DING DONG ** DING DONG Garfield, I'm getting a one-hour, in-home massage! Guten Tag. I am Helmut, your masseur. My, what big...knuckles you have. I set up a table here. You lie down, relax, und vee begin. CRACK Was that ME? Ja. -AAAAGGGHHHHH Only 59 mi
16 March 2003
Who wants to say something nice about me? You're fat. Next?
17 March 2003
I'm trying to decide which would be more exercise. Running around the block... Or running around you. How about running FROM me, smart guy?
18 March 2003
You can't see your feet, can you? How do you know you're not wearing ballerina slippers? I hate it when he plants these doubts. Or golf shoes?
19 March 2003
You're as light as a feather! Of course, I'm talking about the world's heaviest feather, you fat disgusting pig! I gotta work on leaving the room faster.
20 March 2003
Hmm... Maybe if I stood backwards on it... uoY era taf.
21 March 2003
You were fat yesterday, you're fat today, and you'll be fat tomorrow. Garfield, you'll be fat till the day you die! Darn. He gave away the ending.
22 March 2003
z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z
23 March 2003
clop clop clop clop Die time. Couldn't we just get carpet? clop clop
24 March 2003
Time to lose some weight. Nobody's home... And it's crowded in here.
25 March 2003
I like to visualize these rice cakes as a juicy steak dinner. I don't have your imagination. So I have to visualize this juicy steak dinner as a juicy steak dinner!
26 March 2003
I wonder how Garfield is doing on his diet? If 11 donuts stick together it counts as one, right? I wonder a lot of things.
27 March 2003
Halt! Are you cheating on your diet? What's in here? That would be Skippy, my, ug...pet quirrel.
28 March 2003
How's the diet going? It's going. ...going, gone!
29 March 2003
I wonder what Odie's thinking? GULP shake shake shake BOOT! Oh, he's probably thinking fond thoughts of moi.
30 March 2003
The news around the world isn'T all bad. I guess you can't be anywhere. Hey!
31 March 2003