It's fun time! - - Unless my watch is fast.
1 March 2003
- Garfield, I got us a bicycle. - And check out my biking attire. Some call it attire. I call it underwear. - We're going get oohs and aahs! And tee hees and ha has. - DING DING DING DING DING - Hello, ladies! DING DING Good-bye, dignity!
2 March 2003
Invisible Wall Ahead - - SMACK
3 March 2003
Beware of The Dog! - He Bites Really Hard! - However, He Can be Bribed. Translation: always carry meat.
4 March 2003
Beware of The Vicious Dog - Well? - The sign is a work of fiction. Any resemblance between it and me is purely coincidental.
5 March 2003
Beware of The Guard Dog - RRRR What are you guarding? - The sign. Ah.
6 March 2003
I chased my tail yesterday. Yes? - And caught it. Good for you. - And buried it. That's a little more information than I needed.
7 March 2003
I sniffed things in the front yard, and then I chased my tail. - Later, I'm going to go sniff things in the BACKyard! - The dog version of vital.
8 March 2003
Got a minute, Garfield? - Garfield, I'm so stressed out. - The yard needs mowing. - And the car needs an oil change. - The house needs painting. - But, at least I have you to comfort me. - My litter box needs cleaning.
9 March 2003
Hard work is its own reward! - - Okay, okay! Gimme the punch line!
10 March 2003
I'm thinking of burping. - Burp - I burped. You don't have lot going on, do you, Garfield?
11 March 2003
I'm going to spend the day doing nothing. - - Cough. Amateur.
12 March 2003
I'm i a rut, Garfield. - I should travel...see the world. - Pack my bags, put you in a kennel and take off! Excuse me?!
13 March 2003
No one returns my calls, Garfield. - Either I've alienated everyone I know... - Or weevils have chewed through the phone lines! Ho, Jon. You've alineated the weevils, too.
14 March 2003
- - We could use more furniture. I think one chair is plenty.
15 March 2003
** DING DONG - ** DING DONG Garfield, I'm getting a one-hour, in-home massage! - Guten Tag. I am Helmut, your masseur. My, what big...knuckles you have. - I set up a table here. You lie down, relax, und vee begin. - CRACK - Was that ME? Ja. -
16 March 2003
Who wants to say something nice about me? - You're fat. - Next?
17 March 2003
I'm trying to decide which would be more exercise. - Running around the block... - Or running around you. How about running FROM me, smart guy?
18 March 2003
You can't see your feet, can you? - How do you know you're not wearing ballerina slippers? - I hate it when he plants these doubts. Or golf shoes?
19 March 2003
You're as light as a feather! - Of course, I'm talking about the world's heaviest feather, you fat disgusting pig! - I gotta work on leaving the room faster.
20 March 2003
Hmm... - Maybe if I stood backwards on it... - uoY era taf.
21 March 2003
You were fat yesterday, you're fat today, and you'll be fat tomorrow. - Garfield, you'll be fat till the day you die! - Darn. He gave away the ending.
22 March 2003
- z z z - z z z - z z - z z - z z - z z z
23 March 2003
clop clop - clop clop - Die time. Couldn't we just get carpet? clop clop
24 March 2003
Time to lose some weight. - Nobody's home... - And it's crowded in here.
25 March 2003
I like to visualize these rice cakes as a juicy steak dinner. - I don't have your imagination. - So I have to visualize this juicy steak dinner as a juicy steak dinner!
26 March 2003
I wonder how Garfield is doing on his diet? - If 11 donuts stick together it counts as one, right? - I wonder a lot of things.
27 March 2003
Halt! - Are you cheating on your diet? - What's in here? That would be Skippy, my, ug...pet quirrel.
28 March 2003
How's the diet going? - It's going. - ...going, gone!
29 March 2003
- I wonder what Odie's thinking? - GULP - - shake shake shake - BOOT! - Oh, he's probably thinking fond thoughts of moi.
30 March 2003
The news around the world isn'T all bad. - - I guess you can't be anywhere. Hey!
31 March 2003