You have something stuck between your teeth, Garfield. Where? - Right between your front ones. What is it? - It's the refrigerator. Do we have any really big floss?
1 April 2003
I'm going out, Garfield. - Don't get into any trouble. - At least nothing that involves a swat team. Then don't be long.
2 April 2003
It's quiet around here. - Want me to break something? - I'm not complaining, mind you. Want me to break something quietly?
3 April 2003
I have the feeling I'm going to have a good day. - Thought you could lock me out, didn't you? - I had to throw the birdbath through the picture window, and then pull up the mailbox to lean against the... That feeling is fading.
4 April 2003
- I can't think of anything to say. Darn it, Jon! - Then how am I supposed to ignore you?!
5 April 2003
- Yo! Yo! Yo! Garfield, what it is? - Just chillin' in the crib, homey? - I'm letting chicks know that I'm da bomb. - I'm gonna scope the park wit' my bad self. - Whoa! - THUD! - Tru dat.
6 April 2003
There's just no pleasing you, is there?! - - Okay, once more, but this time with a little bit more emotion.
7 April 2003
HA! HA! HAW! HAW! HAW! - CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! - Quit tickling the milkman!
8 April 2003
This house needs fixing. - I'll need some of those little pointy things... Nails? - And one of those poundy things. Stop him.
9 April 2003
Odie swallowed my golf ball! - - I'll play as it lies. Get back here.
10 April 2003
I can't decide whether to stay here... - Or go someplace else. - Compromise.
11 April 2003
This is one of those squirting flowers. - This is one of those clawing paws. - Can you say "detente"?
12 April 2003
- It's a beautiful day, boys. - Everyone's out with their pets. - Celebrating their shared lives. - Showing their affection for one another. Oh no... - Oh, the joyous union of human and animal! Her eit comes... - Group hug!
13 April 2003
My goal is to be a little less pathetic, Garfield. No! No! You can't do that, Jon! - Think about your fans! - You've set a standard to which losers everywhere aspire!
14 April 2003
Garfield, would you say I'm suave? - Yes, I would. - If you coated my body with honey and staked me down to an anthill. Debonair, even?
15 April 2003
Garfield, I'm starting a garden! - Tilling the soil...nurturing seed. - And did I mention I'm wearing overalls? I knew there was an ulterior motive.
16 April 2003
bip bip boop - Hi, it's jus Jon calling to say hi... ...hi! - Hey, let's go home and check my answering machine! Pity him.
17 April 2003
Chicks dig intellectual guys, soooooo... - ZZZZZZZZZZ - This makes my forehead look larger! Ah, the old "big brain" ploy.
18 April 2003
I sometimes feel like a failure at life. - - I was hoping for a little sympathy. That's another thing you've failed at.
19 April 2003
Z - Z - Z - Z - **Z** - -
20 April 2003
Slacker! - Why are you just sitting there?! - There's napping to be done, man! Go waway.
21 April 2003
YAWN Is that all you have to do? - Noooo... - YAWN scratch scratch
22 April 2003
I don't want to be disturbed while I sleep. - - Or after I wake up, for that matter.
23 April 2003
Let's play a game, Garfield. - Let's pretend you're vital. - Let's pretend you're useful. Let's pretend gravity is great today.
24 April 2003
- Breathe, Garfield. GASP! - Lazy! I would have, eventually.
25 April 2003
I'm going to throw out everything moldy I can find. - I hope you're cleaning out the refrigerator. - Because if you're not, this is dandruff, not mold.
26 April 2003
- Who wants to feed me? - - Who wants to fix food for the hungry kitty? - - Who wants to keep their lips? Is it dinner time already? - You don't have to have the answers if you ask the right questions.
27 April 2003
I am now officially bored. - Officially? - I have a certificate. Cool!
28 April 2003
- YAWN - Was that necessary? Have you ever spent any time with yourself?
29 April 2003
You look bored. - I'm not, really. - This is just force of habit.
30 April 2003