...fancy white albacore, packed in spring water. sniff sniff Excellent! Very good, sir! Every cat should have his own tuna steward.
1 July 2003
Cream? Of course. Sugar? Pil eit on! Coffee? Just a splash.
2 July 2003
Thursdays are too far from the start of the week, and not close enough to the end. Thursdays just lie there. I shoul dhave named you "Thursday". That's "MR." Thursday to you.
3 July 2003
DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** You'd think the man had never been locked out of his house before.
4 July 2003
I'm tired... But I'm not SLEEPY... I want my money back!
5 July 2003
Z Z Z Z Z I'd like to see you exercise sometime. You should see me sleep sometime.
6 July 2003
Women just don't seem to notice me, Garfield. Maybe I seem unapproachable...intimidating... That's IT! Jon Arbuckle: Man of Mystery! The Ego is a wonderfully resilient thing.
7 July 2003
Know why chicks dig me, Garfield? Because I know what drives 'em wild. Good oral hygiene. We're so lonely.
8 July 2003
Ellen says I remind her of a comic-book hereo. Which one, Ellen? "Lazer Man"? "The Adventures of Clown Boy"? Who, disguised as mild-mannered geek, Jon Arbuckle...
9 July 2003
I don't know about this dating thing, Garfield. I'm beginning to get a little discouraged. I mean, I'm almost up to the "X's". Hey, there's always the yellow pages.
10 July 2003
Beth, PLEASE go out with me! I PROMISE I won't embarrass you... ...like I did on our last date. *I* thought the twirling bow tie was a stitch.
11 July 2003
I finally got a date with Beth! It's three years from next thursday. Her calendar was kind of full. And your head is kind of empty.
12 July 2003
BOOT! THUD Any doubt why I love this dog?
13 July 2003
It's been said that cats have mystical powers... Is this true? You're looking for lotto numbers again, aren't you?
14 July 2003
My hamburger! You're a pig! oink oink oink oink I like this game...what am I now?
15 July 2003
I swear I didn't eat your hamburger! It was...uh...Clive! Do you really exprect me to believe that "invisible friend! stuff?! BURP
16 July 2003
knock knock knock Anybody you want eaten? It's for you, uncle Earl. There's one in every family.
17 July 2003
I'm not sleepy at all. Or hungry. STOP IT! STOP THE CRAZY TALK, JON!
18 July 2003
I can do anything you can do! Ow. Okay, so I CAN'T scratch the back of my head with my foot. Never challenge the Mighty Garfield!
19 July 2003
Z Z Z tippy toe tippy toe Z ahem Z ring SMASH! Still to loud. Rats.
20 July 2003
There's old uncle Ed... He had false teeth, a glass eye, a wooden leg, and a hock for a hand. He was a blast at family reunions. That was my guess.
21 July 2003
Hey, look! My old high-shool gym shorts! Mom always sewed name tags into all my gym clothes... I see also sewed "front" and "back" tags in them, too. What?
22 July 2003
Hey, mom sent me a box full of my baby teeth! I lost them all on the same day, you know. Darn ol' tree. I wonder what's on TV?
23 July 2003
Mom sent me an old blanket. That's funny. I never had a special blanket when I was a ki RIIING Don't get emotional, Doc Boy. I'll send it back right away. Yes, Doc Boy... Sigh.
24 July 2003
Look, mom sent me some drawings I did when I was little! That's a chicken. You're holding it upside down. It's supposed to look alive?
25 July 2003
Here's another drawing I did when I was little. It's a cow. See where it says "cow" next to that little arrow pointig to it? Clever use of symbolism.
26 July 2003
Geez, look at me... I'm getting old. My cheeksa re puffy, my face is sagging... Look at the bags under my eyes. Wrinkles, too...and I'm getting a gut. What do you think I should do, Garfield? I think you should close the drapes.EEEK!
27 July 2003
I just ate an entire meal... ...and you didn't steal any of it. Happy birthday!
28 July 2003
I'm in a nostalgia mood. BURP Aaah...lunch!
29 July 2003
Garfield, you can be very destructive. I can? I wasn't giving you permission! Too late! I already broke something!
30 July 2003
I am drawing ever closer to inner peace. That's my new name for a nap.
31 July 2003