...fancy white albacore, packed in spring water. sniff sniff - Excellent! Very good, sir! - Every cat should have his own tuna steward.
1 July 2003
Cream? Of course. - Sugar? Pil eit on! - Coffee? Just a splash.
2 July 2003
Thursdays are too far from the start of the week, and not close enough to the end. - Thursdays just lie there. - I shoul dhave named you "Thursday". - That's "MR." Thursday to you.
3 July 2003
DING-DONG ** - DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** - DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** DING-DONG ** You'd think the man had never been locked out of his house before.
4 July 2003
I'm tired... - But I'm not SLEEPY... - I want my money back!
5 July 2003
- Z - Z - Z - Z - Z - I'd like to see you exercise sometime. You should see me sleep sometime.
6 July 2003
Women just don't seem to notice me, Garfield. - Maybe I seem unapproachable...intimidating... - That's IT! Jon Arbuckle: Man of Mystery! The Ego is a wonderfully resilient thing.
7 July 2003
Know why chicks dig me, Garfield? - Because I know what drives 'em wild. - Good oral hygiene. We're so lonely.
8 July 2003
Ellen says I remind her of a comic-book hereo. - Which one, Ellen? "Lazer Man"? - "The Adventures of Clown Boy"? Who, disguised as mild-mannered geek, Jon Arbuckle...
9 July 2003
I don't know about this dating thing, Garfield. - I'm beginning to get a little discouraged. - I mean, I'm almost up to the "X's". Hey, there's always the yellow pages.
10 July 2003
Beth, PLEASE go out with me! - I PROMISE I won't embarrass you... - ...like I did on our last date. *I* thought the twirling bow tie was a stitch.
11 July 2003
I finally got a date with Beth! - It's three years from next thursday. - Her calendar was kind of full. And your head is kind of empty.
12 July 2003
- - BOOT! - THUD - - - Any doubt why I love this dog?
13 July 2003
It's been said that cats have mystical powers... - Is this true? - You're looking for lotto numbers again, aren't you?
14 July 2003
My hamburger! - You're a pig! oink oink oink oink - I like this game...what am I now?
15 July 2003
I swear I didn't eat your hamburger! - It was...uh...Clive! Do you really exprect me to believe that "invisible friend! stuff?! - BURP
16 July 2003
knock knock knock - Anybody you want eaten? - It's for you, uncle Earl. There's one in every family.
17 July 2003
I'm not sleepy at all. - Or hungry. - STOP IT! STOP THE CRAZY TALK, JON!
18 July 2003
I can do anything you can do! - Ow. - Okay, so I CAN'T scratch the back of my head with my foot. Never challenge the Mighty Garfield!
19 July 2003
Z - Z - Z tippy toe tippy toe - Z ahem - Z ring - SMASH! - Still to loud. Rats.
20 July 2003
There's old uncle Ed... - He had false teeth, a glass eye, a wooden leg, and a hock for a hand. - He was a blast at family reunions. That was my guess.
21 July 2003
Hey, look! My old high-shool gym shorts! - Mom always sewed name tags into all my gym clothes... - I see also sewed "front" and "back" tags in them, too. What?
22 July 2003
Hey, mom sent me a box full of my baby teeth! - I lost them all on the same day, you know. - Darn ol' tree. I wonder what's on TV?
23 July 2003
Mom sent me an old blanket. - That's funny. I never had a special blanket when I was a ki- RIIING - Don't get emotional, Doc Boy. I'll send it back right away. Yes, Doc Boy... Sigh.
24 July 2003
Look, mom sent me some drawings I did when I was little! - That's a chicken. - You're holding it upside down. It's supposed to look alive?
25 July 2003
Here's another drawing I did when I was little. - It's a cow. - See where it says "cow" next to that little arrow pointig to it? Clever use of symbolism.
26 July 2003
Geez, look at me... - I'm getting old. - My cheeksa re puffy, my face is sagging... - Look at the bags under my eyes. - Wrinkles, too...and I'm getting a gut. - What do you think I should do, Garfield? - I think you should close the drapes.
27 July 2003
I just ate an entire meal... - ...and you didn't steal any of it. - Happy birthday!
28 July 2003
I'm in a nostalgia mood. - BURP - Aaah...lunch!
29 July 2003
Garfield, you can be very destructive. - I can? - I wasn't giving you permission! Too late! I already broke something!
30 July 2003
I am drawing ever closer to inner peace. - - That's my new name for a nap.
31 July 2003