Ellen, when you say hurtful things to me, I just want to curl up and wither away. - - She's saying hurtful things. So wither already.
1 October 2004
Today is a teense less boring than yesterday. - - Party on.
2 October 2004
O-kay... - Time to get up. - - Yup. Gotta get up right now... - - Yessir-reedy-deedy-do---up and at 'em... - What are you doing? Fooling myself.
3 October 2004
Garfield! Did you eat all three of those cakes I baked?! - Nope. - Two and a half.
4 October 2004
Garfield... - You've been eating in bed again, haven't you? - So, Sherlock, what tipped you off?
5 October 2004
* RIIIING! Hello? - No, no...it's all right. - That was the Titanic. They spotted an orange iceberg. I wonder if YOU float?
6 October 2004
I now do weight and fortunes. You're on. - You're fat. ...and my fortune? - I predict you're going to stomp me flat. You're good.
7 October 2004
If you continue to gain weight at your current rate... - In 17 years, you'll blot out the sun! - Where are you going? To get a donut and a flashlight.
8 October 2004
Low-fat cat food. - - DO I LOOK LIKE A LOW-FAT CAT?!
9 October 2004
- Have a salad...have A salad... - HAVE a salad... - Have a SALAD... - Ahem... - Havea SALAD. - There's just no right way to say that to him.
10 October 2004
If you close your eyes, you can pretend this lettuce is chocolate cake. - - If you close YOUR eyes, I can have REAL chocolare cake!
11 October 2004
Hey, Jon, check out my new diet! - munch munch GULP - Did you notice I chewed before I swallowed?
12 October 2004
How's the diet going? Hey! - Somebody out there's eating! - I withdraw the question. BACON!
13 October 2004
How's the diet going? Great! - I've cut out snacks. - I did, however, have eleven lunches.
14 October 2004
I've eaten all the donuts... - Now they can't tempt me to cheat on my diet. - Flawless logic, if ever I've heard it!
15 October 2004
Are you having a good time? - BECAUSE I'M NOT! SPLOT - Wait. That was kind of fun.
16 October 2004
GARFIELD BURP - - Hi! Whoa. - Say, aren't you the invisible man? - No, I'm not. - He's shorter than I am. - He's only about this tall. Oh, yeah. - But don't feel bad. A lot of people confuse us. I think I'll wake up now.
17 October 2004
Why are acts so mysterious? - Allow me to explain by way of an interpretive dance. -
18 October 2004
Why is a dog's nose so cold? - Let's find out. - Ah-ha... *
19 October 2004
- GOING - WHERE did you get the gong? Spanky's house of all things dinner.
20 October 2004
Cats are very clean animals. - They even clean themselves with their tongues. - But not you! We're out of conditioner.
21 October 2004
Garfield, I think that girl down the counter is looking at me! No she isn't. - I think she wants to meet me! No she doesn't! - I may have been mistaken. Yes, you were.
22 October 2004
I'm so bored I can't believe it. - Not me. - I can believe it.
23 October 2004
- I can sleep anywhere. - Z - Z - See? - Whoops. - Z
24 October 2004
WOW! - LOOK AT THAT BUG, FAT, ORANGE- - Pumpkin.
25 October 2004
- Hmmm, just like Odie... - The light's on, but nobody's home.
26 October 2004
...that monster could be ANYwhere! - ...he could even be right behind- Hi, guys... Cue the bloodcurdling screams.
27 October 2004
Larry, don't! ...don't go in there! - I must go in there, Margaret! Brave, Larry. - AAAAGGGHHH! Brave, stupid, Larry.
28 October 2004
Tonight we're speaking with a big, fat, creepy monster. Glad to be here. - So, where do you live? Under your bed. - Uhhhh... And aren't you a little old to be wearing bunny slippers? Sweet dreams.
29 October 2004
We're speaking today with an actual vampire. - Good morning, sir. Thank yo-...morning= - MORNING?!! They just might want to draw those blinds.
30 October 2004
- Boo! Pardon? - Boo. I'm a ghost. You don't say. - Oh, yes. I'm quite frightening. No, you're not. - I'm not? Not even close. - Are you sure? I find you yery pleasant. - I wish I were dead. I'm not sure how to break this to you, pal.
31 October 2004