Ambition! Drive, fortitude, gumption, determination... - I've always wanted to say those words.
1 November 2004
Time to take a break, Odie. - - Our breaks are so long, our breaks need breaks.
2 November 2004
Ah...AH... - CHOO! - So, would you like some toast? Not in this lifetime.
3 November 2004
Sometimes I sleep so much I can't tell if it's day or night. - Sometimes I eat so much I can't tell if I'm hungry or full. - Ignorance is bliss.
4 November 2004
Oh, Ellen... - My love for you is like an endless void... - Wait! Wrong smile! That's the one about your head.
5 November 2004
- Sack time. - Z
6 November 2004
Beware of Dog GRRRR - Just look at this... - Why do dogs always need "beware" signs? - We cats don't NEED "beware" signs...people just KNOW... WOW...you're right. - - - I WANNA SIGN! SMACK! poo!
7 November 2004
There are things in life we just have to admit we can't control. - - Like you. Yeah, I'm a real force of nature.
8 November 2004
Hey, I know I'm fat...so what? - I'm fat, and I'm BEAUTIFUL! - Narcissism...use it or lose it
9 November 2004
Say, good lookin'. - You look fabulous! - Hey, mirrors need love, too.
10 November 2004
Oh, geez. - I need a haircut bad. - Try shedding, it's cheaper!
11 November 2004
I thought I was going to seize the day... - But the day seized me instead. Poor Jon. - Life's a salad bar, and he just keeps smacking his forehead on the sneeze guard.
12 November 2004
- - So, how was YOUR day? Better then yours.
13 November 2004
- Brrrr! - - - Mmmmmmmm - MMMMMMMMM -
14 November 2004
Operators are standing by to take your order! - - I won't be ordering anything...you may take the rest of the night off. Hello? Hello?
15 November 2004
And now, back to our nature special... - Sharks who love toes. -
16 November 2004
We have a great show! - And we know you'll enjoy it! - Nobody tells me wht to do. CLICK
17 November 2004
Welcome back to "Telepathic Jokes"! - - Already heard it. CLICK
18 November 2004
I love hosting this show. - -Absolutely love it! - It means I don't have to WATCH it. I wish *I* hosted it.
19 November 2004
Oh, Lance, the bomb is about to go off! - Don't worry, Marion. Here comes Super Dog to save us! - Bark! Bark! Bark! Where is he going?! Spotted a squirrel.
20 November 2004
- SLAM! - Look at what I bought at the store, Garfield... - A 20-pound turkey! - We can roast it, and eat it, and then use the leftovers for sandwiches! - - Why did I say "leftovers"? What are leftovers?
21 November 2004
Garfield, are you happy? - - No food, no happy.
22 November 2004
Come on out! No! - Come and get me, bozo! - Dinner, Garfield? No thanks. I just ate a small house.
23 November 2004
- - That was a nutritious meal! Yeah, I didn't like it either.
24 November 2004
- - Garfield! Dinner! - Disappointed? Kinda.
25 November 2004
There you are! - I love lasagna! - But alas, it was only a fling.
26 November 2004
Garfield, Garfield, Garfield. - Just look at you... - He's right...I DO look hungry.
27 November 2004
GROAN Z - EEEYRRRGH! - GROWWWL! - HUFF HUFF HUFF - AAARRRGGH! - pant pant pant The dryer shrunk my pants! - It's always the dryer. It's never digging out at the family reunion.
28 November 2004
Christmas is coming, and you know what that means... - - That's EXACTLY what that means.
29 November 2004
Hey, you! - Christmas is coming...get with the program! - That's more like it.
30 November 2004