Calendars...they hurry all year long. -until december... Then they MOSEY!
1 December 2004
You know,they say Christmas cookie calories don't count. I believe that. Now, to convince my belly.
2 December 2004
Santa Claus knows if you're good or bad. That's cool. But does he know I'm dangerous?
3 December 2004
sniff sniff It smells like Christmas! It must be that time of year... Hint hint
4 December 2004
pat pat pat ? Santa's watching.
5 December 2004
Hey! Nice hat! That's the ol' Christmas spirit! He must have been talking about my Christmas cookie storage device.
6 December 2004
I love this time of year. Cookies...presents...cookies...family...cookies... More cookies... WHO ate all the cookies?!
7 December 2004
All right, I'll take you to see Santa IF you promise to behave. We're not going. C'mon! That was my best fake sincere smile!
8 December 2004
Dear Santa, I have been very good all year... And... Boy...fiction is hard.
9 December 2004
So, Garfield, is Santa going to bring you lots of presents this year? He'd better! We have a contract and I have a good lawyer.
10 December 2004
We return now to "The Littlest Elf". -
11 December 2004
* We now return to "Lorenzo, the Snail Who Saved Christmas". Oh, woe are we! How will we get these toys to all the kids?! I'LL do it! Lorenzo the Snail! Yes, 'tis I, Lorenzo the Snail, here to deliver toys to all the kids! Our hero! -So, what's
12 December 2004
Hey, a Christmas card. "Wishing you the very best of this holiday season...! -"and stop calling me and asking me out, you dork. Ellen" Warm, sincere, and it gets the job done.
13 December 2004
Look, Garfield, another Christmas card! I wonder if it's from Doc Boy? Does the postmark have a cow on it? The Postmark has a cow on it.
14 December 2004
We now return to "Harold FEnsternick..." "-the regular guy who saved Christmas". Gee, guess I oughta open the flue... Nice save, Harold.
15 December 2004
A box! No, wait! Not at THIS time of year...it's not a box... IT'S A NAKED CHRISTMAS PRESENT!
16 December 2004
I'm wrapping Christmas presents now... SO DON'T come in here! -and NO video surveillance cameras! Too late.
17 December 2004
We now return to "Steward, the Cristmas Leech". Gather 'round, elves! Ho! Ho! H-...huh? GAAHHH! GET IT OFF ME!! GET IT OFF!!! Wow. Stew's thirsty.
18 December 2004
Ah! Food! Bed! Punching bag! Confidant! Soft touch! Honestly, what DO you get the cat who has everything?
19 December 2004
Hey, cat. Hey, spider. I have a gift for you...lower away, guys! Have a lick. Over my dead tongue.
20 December 2004
The Christmas tree seems to be missing something... Got it! It needs more presents.
21 December 2004
Garfield, go back to bed. I can't. Who gives presents to Santa?
22 December 2004
Christmas is only two days away! 172,800 seconds! You look preoccupied. 172,797 seconds...
23 December 2004
Christmas eve... Sleep is not an option.
24 December 2004
It's Christmas again, old friend... Time for us to exchange our annual Christmas gift... -
25 December 2004
Sigh... The presents have all been unwrapped... The carols have all been sung... The food has all been eaten... The hugs have all been given... It was all so great. Same time next year?
26 December 2004
That was a great Christmas, wasn't it? Yeah... Remember that nut log grandma sent us? Oh, yeah... You SHOULD...you ate the whole thing. I'll be digesting that baby till the spring thaw.
27 December 2004
Hello, Lisa? It's Jon Arbuckle... -and there just happens to be a huge hole in my social calendar for new year's eve. She told me to take my calendar and spackle it. How diplomatic.
28 December 2004
Denise, it's Jon... Hey, howzabout just the two of us going out on new year's eve? Guess it'll just be the one of us. Are you sure YOU want to go out with you?
29 December 2004
Ellen, will you go out with me on new year's eve? What's that sound? ...soda, you say? Out your nose, you say? So far, and yet so far.
30 December 2004
New year's eve... And he's all dressed up with no place to go. What a perfectly good waste of a perfectly bad suit.
31 December 2004