I'm on the "I have pets" diet.
1 February 2004
You never know what a cat is thinking. That's right. We're very mysterious. Eat. Sleep. Eat. sleep. Eat. Sleep.
2 February 2004
You look different. Have you lost weight? OH, NO, WAIT! THAT'S NOT IT! YOU'RE EMPTY! THAT'S WHAT IT IS!!
3 February 2004
Glop. -and a sprig of rosemary! Glop with a sprig of rosemary.
4 February 2004
Is it true that you have nine lives? No. It just seems that long when living with YOU.
5 February 2004
I'm the most wonderful man in the world? You love me madly? I ddin't have the heart to tell her it was a wrong number. How thoughtful of you, fantasy boy.
6 February 2004
Your breath smells like tuna. Why, thank you! I owe it all to "Kitty Tuna mints"!
7 February 2004
BEWARE Of The DOGS BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! Oops, I'm late for another appointment! I'm going to turn you over to my assistant, Spot! Uh... How's it going, pal? Uh... According to your chart, I'm to bark at you, right? Uh... Arf!Come on! Is this how you tr
8 February 2004
Question, Odie...is dog food made from dogs? Urp slap ZIP Nah, it doesn't taste stupid enough.
9 February 2004
Odie, let's talk effort versus return here. You know, you can still lead a pointless life without all that running around.
10 February 2004
Odie, in honor of your gullibility... I'D LIKE TO PRESENT YOU WITH THIS INVISIBLE TROPHY! GARFIELD!
11 February 2004
Odie can't remember where he buried his bone. Yes... It's the dreaded glasses-on-the-forehead syndrome.
12 February 2004
It had to happen. Odie chased his tail once too often. Now it's hiding from him.
13 February 2004
And now, to explain why dogs drool so much, here's the dog who wrote the book... -ODIE! Swim on over here, pal!
14 February 2004
YAWN I'm exhausted. Must sleep. Now I'm wide awake. Now I'm sleepy. Wide awake. Z Now what?
15 February 2004
I drew up a list of thing I don't want you to claw. I guess I should have put the list on the list.
16 February 2004
Nobody knows what the mysterious cat is thinking. Not even the mysterious cat.
17 February 2004
YAWN Hey, I was just thinking about you.
18 February 2004
How about giving me a big smile? Why? You already have one.
19 February 2004
I'm going to go make a sandwich. Well, be quick about it. I don't have all day to stel it, you know.
20 February 2004
Do you ever get that sleepy feeling in the middle of the afternoon? I do. And this afternoon has lasted 25 years.
21 February 2004
Mom, dad, Doc Boy...we're here! We were bored just sitting at home watching the TV. So we came over for a visit. -
22 February 2004
You can swat me, but there will be another spider to take my place! Very well then. SMACK I'll renew my newspaper subscription.
23 February 2004
I'm not coming any closer. SMACK! My latest invention: magazine on a stick.
24 February 2004
Hee, hee, hee. When that cat gets here I'm going to swat him with this magazine! Uh-oh...too heavy! Couldn't wait for me, huh?
25 February 2004
Hey, cat! This is my lawyer, Sid. I have a restraining order against you! Uh, why the smile? I've never squished a lawyer.
26 February 2004
Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! I wish the cat were here to swat me.
27 February 2004
SMACK Ha! Ha! Just kidding! OH! WELL THAT MAKEs IT ALL RIGHT THEN!
28 February 2004
* DING DONG Someone's at the door. Hiya, kiddo. Grandma, what brings you here? I need a favor. Name it! You know that martial arts championship tomorrow? Sure. You want to come over to watch it? Nope, practice! I'm a contestant!urk Meet Granny the Grip.
29 February 2004